Vault: His daughter needs her 1st training bra

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: His Daughter Needs Her 1st Training Bra

Date: August 4, 2026
Host(s): The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Carl, and others)
Episode Theme: Navigating Parenting Milestones – A Dad’s Perspective on His Daughter’s First Training Bra

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around Carl, one of the show's producers, as he opens up to The Bert Show cast about the emotional experience of realizing his 9-year-old daughter is growing up—specifically, that she needs her first training bra. The conversation is candid and heartfelt, blending humor and vulnerability as the cast (plus callers) explores themes of childhood transitions, parental emotions, and the challenges dads face when daughters hit key developmental milestones. The tone oscillates between comic relief and genuine parental concern, making the conversation relatable and touching.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Carl’s Dilemma: Processing His Daughter’s Milestone

• Carl shares his experience catching his wife helping their 9-year-old daughter try on what may have been her first training bra.
• Initial reaction: surprise, questioning if a bra is necessary at this age, and a poignant sense of loss concerning his daughter’s "little girl" innocence.
• Carl admits difficulty coping with the realization that his daughter is no longer a baby, seeing this milestone as the "on ramp to puberty" (03:02).

Carl (02:45): "It really is like she's not a baby anymore, of course. And it's like that innocence, you know, like, okay, she's gonna start looking at boys. She's gonna just everything, man. Just everything that comes along with."

2. Emotional Reactions: Fathers, Daughters, and Growing Up

• The male co-hosts express empathy, with Jeff admitting his "heart broke" reading Carl’s topic, despite not having children himself (03:26).
• Discussion of how fathers in particular find it traumatic to witness these transitions, compared to mothers who might see their daughters becoming "more like mommy" (06:34).
• The group humorously discusses potential future scenarios involving boyfriends and how Carl might (over)react (05:09-05:41).

Co-host 2 (03:26): "You felt me? ... I felt it because I don't even have kids or a daughter or anything."

3. The Reality of Early Puberty: Callers Chime In

• Multiple listeners call in to share their experiences with early development and first periods, some as young as 8 years old (07:12, 08:18, 10:16).
• Discussion touches on varying ages for starting menstruation and how early development can affect girls emotionally—being the "first" or "last" can both be hard (11:24-11:29).
• Notion that breast development and period onset are unpredictable and may relate to genetics or environmental factors.

Caller/Listener (08:28): "Yeah, I've been. I've been bleeding for 20 years." (A humorous and memorable moment)

4. How Dads Can Stay Connected as Daughters Grow

• Carl is asked how he plans to maintain closeness with his daughter as she matures and potentially turns more to her mom for guidance (08:46).
• The cast stresses the importance of open communication and the father’s ongoing presence as a positive male influence, even when discussions get uncomfortable.
• Carl admits it’s hard and sometimes chooses to "vent to my wife and I leave her alone" when he feels out of his depth.

Co-host 3 (09:52): "The communication with her and continuing to have a close relationship is very important. Instead of it being like, 'I’m too uncomfortable with this, I’m just going to ... never talk about it.'"

Carl (11:34): "I encourage her to talk to me. Don't get it. I don't want you all to get it wrong, but I encourage her to talk to me. It's just hard when I go into the room by myself and just deal with it."

5. Notable and Hilarious Moments

• Fergie’s "lovely lady lumps" referenced lightheartedly when discussing terminology and the awkwardness of puberty (04:28).
• The infamous story from a caller whose father, a police officer, taped her chest to "hide" her development (10:22).
• Co-hosts riffing on Carl becoming an overprotective dad, adding comic relief to the conversation about upcoming boyfriends and adolescent changes.

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Important Timestamps

• [01:36] – Carl introduces his dilemma about his daughter and the training bra.
• [02:45] – Carl expresses his emotional struggle with his daughter growing up.
• [03:26] – Co-host Jeff describes his empathetic reaction.
• [04:28] – Fergie "lovely lady lumps" joke.
• [05:09] – Discussion about boyfriends and Carl’s imagined overprotective dad scenarios.
• [06:09] – First listener (Renee) calls in about her own daughter and shares excitement about this milestone.
• [07:12] – Callers share their stories about starting their periods at a young age.
• [08:18] – Another caller started her period in third grade, driving home the reality of early puberty.
• [08:46] – Carl is asked how he’ll maintain his relationship with his daughter as she grows up.
• [10:22] – Caller Kim recounts her father using tape to hide her chest; prompts laughter and disbelief from the cast.
• [11:34] – Carl reaffirms his intention to remain approachable, despite his discomfort.

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Memorable Quotes

• Carl (02:45): "It really is like she's not a baby anymore, of course. And it's like that innocence, you know, like, okay, she's gonna start looking at boys. She's gonna just everything, man."
• Co-host 2 (03:26): "You felt me?... I felt it because I don't even have kids or a daughter or anything."
• Caller/Listener, Heather (08:28): "Yeah, I've been. I've been bleeding for 20 years." (cast laughs)
• Caller/Listener, Kim (10:22): "My dad freaked out when I started getting little lady lumps and behind my mom's back for, like, two weeks, he would tape my chest down and so that nobody could tell."
• Co-host 3 (09:52): "The communication with her and continuing to have a close relationship is very important."
• Carl (11:34): "I encourage her to talk to me ... It's just hard when I go into the room by myself and just deal with it."
• Co-host 1 (11:49): "You're such a good dad, Carl."

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Conclusion

This episode offers a sincere, insightful, and often funny exploration of the parenting journey through one of its most poignant rites of passage—the first "training bra" moment. Carl’s openness sets the tone for a broader, resonant discussion about what it means for dads to see their little girls grow up, how families (and listeners) process these milestones, and the importance of keeping communication lines open. Through a blend of heartfelt admissions, comic relief, and relatable anecdotes, The Bert Show delivers an episode that’s equal parts entertaining and affirming for parents and non-parents alike.

Transcript

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[Carl]

Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana.

[Co-host 1]

Twas a lovely suv, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it.

[Carl]

Tonight we feast.

[Co-host 1]

An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

[Carl]

It's the vert show.

[Co-host 2]

We have Carl's Ike music. Cause we gotta bring Carl in here. And this is. This might be a guy thing, but I read this topic that he has for the show and my heart broke

[Co-host 1]

a little bit, bruh.

[Co-host 3]

Your heart broke?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. That's funny. And I know it's a guy thing.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

I think it's a dad thing.

[Co-host 2]

I'm not a dad, though. I mean, it's Sasha.

[Co-host 3]

I thought he's admitted.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

So Carl is stepping out of his master control for the phone screening room to come seek counsel from the Comfort. That is the Burt show.

[Carl]

And it's serious too, y'. All. Serious business. My daughter the other day. No, last weekend.

[Co-host 2]

You have three kids?

[Carl]

I have three kids. I have an older daughter who just turned nine and I have my four year old daughter and then my little dude in the middle. But last weekend I saw my wife in the bathroom with my 9 year old trying on. I don't even know if it was a training bra. I mean, what size do you get at that age?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, that's a trendy one.

[Co-host 2]

Baby girls growing up.

[Co-host 1]

What was your first reaction, really?

[Carl]

My first reaction was, why is my wife doing that? She don't really need that. You know, it was like, why is she pushing that on tour? You know I'm pushing, right?

[Co-host 1]

Like, I think a mama will do that.

[Co-host 3]

That's when they start to start sprouting.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

And the daughters ask for that too.

[Co-host 3]

Carl's just had that. The daughter's excited.

[Co-host 2]

Not Carl's girl. Carl's girl's six years old. Forever.

[Carl]

I know. Four year old. And the thing is, she's like real small. And you started Seeing a little, like the little bumps come up. Yeah, that right there. Oh my gosh. That right there did it for me.

[Co-host 3]

And that's why she needs a training bra.

[Carl]

That right there did it for me.

[Co-host 1]

What is like, what's the emotion? Can you define it?

[Carl]

It's like, well, I mean, really, my little baby, it really is like she's not a baby anymore, of course. And it's like that innocence, you know, like, okay, she's gonna start looking at boys. She's gonna just everything, man. Just everything that comes along with.

[Co-host 2]

It's adulthood. It's. It's like that is an outward.

[Co-host 3]

It's the on ramp to puberty.

[Co-host 2]

It's the word puberty.

[Co-host 1]

You're like, my little girl's going to be little forever.

[Carl]

Serious, man.

[Co-host 2]

And it's like guys don't have it so much. I mean, maybe like shaving, like getting whiskers on their face, you know, but

[Co-host 1]

like that comes so much later though.

[Co-host 2]

And I think it's. Cause when I read that, Carl, like I.

[Carl]

You felt me?

[Co-host 2]

I felt it because I don't even have kids or a daughter or anything.

[Co-host 3]

You said off air your heart broke.

[Co-host 2]

Yes, because next thing you. Cause I know what guys are like.

[Carl]

Yeah. And I could appreciate you, Jeff, by even saying that, man. Just for you to be able, just to understand where I was coming from. And Jeff said it so randomly. He brought it out the blue. And for him to say that his heart broke, I was like, oh, you feel me, dude, I'm serious. Because when you see the little bumps on everything, the little. Okay, I could still. Cause she had a little Tweety Bird training bra back in when she was 4. I let her play with it. Yeah, whatever. But now she needs it. And just to see the little bumps, that's just. I don't. That's hard to swallow.

[Co-host 2]

It's traumatic. It's super traumatic for a daddy. We're talking to Carl, who is one of the producers on the show about his daughter who's getting all grown up,

[Co-host 1]

nine year old girl and she's got her first bra.

[Carl]

But you know what though? Really the big thing is that when I saw the bra, the training bra and I saw the little, little girly bumps or whatever. Really? What really kind of, I think Fergie

[Co-host 2]

calls them lovely lady bumps.

[Carl]

But really the whole thing is, I think it's the. That who knows what day she's going to come on a period that's real.

[Co-host 3]

I think that's, that's way, that's way down the line.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

No, sometimes it's ten at night.

[Co-host 3]

Really?

[Co-host 1]

Ten years old.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Fifth grade.

[Carl]

Really?

[Co-host 1]

Really?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Fifth grade.

[Co-host 1]

You?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

My sister.

[Co-host 1]

Really?

[Co-host 3]

It's the hormones in the milk.

[Co-host 1]

It is, right? That's what you always hear. Cows.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, because it's usually like 11 and 12, right?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Fifth and sixth grade. That's not age range, though. It's fifth and sixth grade.

[Co-host 1]

What grade is your daughter in, Carl?

[Carl]

She's in the fourth. Going to the fifth next year.

[Co-host 2]

I know.

[Co-host 1]

She's all growing up.

[Co-host 2]

And when do boyfriends start calling the house?

[Carl]

Never. I don't ever get through my life.

[Co-host 1]

6th and 7th grade. Boys will start calling you.

[Carl]

I don't have to worry. I'm not even worried about that.

[Co-host 2]

I just had that down. I just had the vision of, like, some squeaky voice guy, like. And then, you know, Carl opens the door with big. Can I help you? Hello, Mr. Hammer. See you and Carl just giving him dogs like that.

[Co-host 3]

How young is he?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm.

[Carl]

Open the door. Like a lion. Get out of here. Like a dog. Just bark him out. Bark him away.

[Co-host 1]

From what we learned earlier this morning, boys will just text and Facebook her. They won't actually ever call and ask her out, or they actually won't ever show her.

[Co-host 2]

She got a cell phone yet?

[Carl]

In person, you're starting to ask. And that's the reason why, because I know little stuff starts creeping through the lines. You know, when you get a little cell phone, little text message from little.

[Co-host 1]

When are you going to let her

[Carl]

have one naughty nose? Kids.

[Co-host 2]

Little pun 30.

[Carl]

A cell phone. When she starts going out on her own. You know, when I'm not.

[Co-host 2]

For safety.

[Carl]

Yeah, for safety reasons. Things like that.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Renee. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, guys. Love the show. Hey, Carl. I call Carla quite a lot, but my little girl is eight and she's pushing it. Mommy, we got to go. Mommy, we got to go. Get me, you know, a grow bra, training bra, whatever they call them. And she's just at the little bump stage, too, but it's adorable. I mean, this is a big thing for her. So excited.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, she's excited.

[Caller/Listener]

Go with it.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, I remember. I thought, yeah, it was so exciting.

[Co-host 2]

It's different, though, for girls and guys, because girls like mommy is like. The daughter's becoming more like mommy.

[Co-host 3]

Well, mom understands what she's feeling.

[Co-host 2]

And for, I think, guys, daughters becoming more like mommy. And guys know what they've done to mommy, and they don't want anybody doing that to their daughter.

[Carl]

That's exactly what it is. Because you know what? Guys start looking and when they start looking, they started thinking and all that, you know, I don't care how old the little dude.

[Co-host 2]

You guys are. So. Women are so lucky. They don't think, like. Know what guys think about. It's not really.

[Carl]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Well, we're on the Birch show, and that's all the conversation we have all the time. So we're still trying to figure out white guys are thinking and especially you. Scared once when.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Rhonda.

[Co-host 3]

Jeff reveals it.

[Co-host 2]

What's going on?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I just want to let the call know. Yes, it does happen at 10 because it happened to me and it happened at church.

[Carl]

Wow.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, yeah. That's a whole other conversation. So you started at 10?

[Caller/Listener]

Yes, real.

[Co-host 3]

You poor thing.

[Carl]

Wow.

[Caller/Listener]

And at 10, I was not wearing the panning bra. I was wearing a grown woman's bra.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Same with my sister.

[Co-host 1]

Are you serious?

[Co-host 3]

I'm serious.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

It's different with different people. I mean, I started in sixth grade. Grade that's like 10, 11 years old.

[Carl]

Can I ask you, how are you big now? Like the early. Does it start? Does it mean how big you'll be or.

[Co-host 2]

I'd cut her off, actually.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

I had a friend who start because we felt bad for the girls that started first. And there was a friend of ours. Yeah. Who started a year before everybody else.

[Co-host 2]

And apparently we've inadvertently launched into a game of premier period poker because Heather is now joining.

[Co-host 3]

Well, I just want to tell Carl. I want to finish that thought. Is it telling Carl that usually the size of the breasts indicated at least. And Wendy, tell me if I'm wrong, but the size of the breast indicated how mature she was and she was about to start.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, honest Heather, welcome to the show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi. How are you guys?

[Co-host 2]

We're all good. Carl's a little sweaty.

[Co-host 3]

You guys are.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, Carl, I understand. I started my period when I was in the third grade. I was 8 years old.

[Co-host 1]

What?

[Caller/Listener]

Eight?

[Co-host 1]

Oh, my goodness.

[Co-host 3]

You're sorry.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I've been. I've been bleeding for 20 years.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, God, guys, you can't handle this conversation. You poor thing.

[Co-host 1]

That line was hysterical. That's great. Wow.

[Co-host 3]

I've been bleeding.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Liz, welcome to the show. We lose Liz. We lost Liz.

[Co-host 3]

She's laughing at the last comment.

[Carl]

Bless your heart.

[Co-host 1]

So curious. Carl, as a dad, as your daughter becomes this, you know, from this, your baby, you know, she'll always be your baby, but, like, she, you know, is growing up, how do you plan to sort of stay in touch with her and not just let it be her? She goes to Mom. Now, you know, like, how do you get over your discomfort with the bra thing or, you know, starting the period thing or whatever, and still stay as close with her as you are now when she becomes a little woman?

[Carl]

That's a good. That's a real good question. Because I have a hard time trying to. I have a hard time trying to find that balance. But what I've learned is because when she had the little Tweety Bird bra when she was 4, playing with it, I brought it to her attention, and I recognized that she kind of got upset with me. So I recognized that, okay, this is what she wants. So I vent to my wife and I leave her alone.

[Co-host 3]

But I think what Jen is saying, and tell me if I'm interpreting this right, because you are the male influence in her life and what. How her relationship with you will define the men that she dates in her life. So I think that your.

[Co-host 2]

No pressure.

[Co-host 3]

No well. But it's the truth. And I think that your communication with her and continuing to have a close relationship with her is very important. Instead of it being like, I'm too uncomfortable with this, I'm just going to, you know, leave the conversation or never talk about it.

[Co-host 2]

Would you guys believe me if I was about to pick up a phone call from a woman who said that her dad taped her boobs down?

[Co-host 1]

What?

[Co-host 3]

I'd believe that.

[Co-host 2]

Hey, Kim.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm good. How are you guys?

[Co-host 2]

So, what did Father Purvis do?

[Caller/Listener]

Right? My dad. Actually, my dad, he was a cop, and so I know what Carl's going through. My dad freaked out when I started getting little lady lumps and behind my mom's back for, like, two weeks, he would tape my chest down and so that nobody could tell. And then my mom found out, and she had to go get me a training bra. And, yeah, usually if you start developing early, it does determine the size. I'm 24 now and pretty big. I started wearing training bras at, like, 8 and 9 around that time.

[Co-host 2]

Carl, I thought we were gonna get help for you, and you're just sweating more.

[Carl]

My baby gonna have a nice wreck, huh?

[Co-host 1]

Now, don't go all Billy Ray Cyrus on this. What are you, Joe Simpson?

[Co-host 2]

I. Jackie, can you help Carl?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah. All I know is that my daughter's in third grade, and I am her teacher's homeroom mom. And she said that two of her girls, two of the little girls have already started.

[Co-host 3]

At what grade again?

[Caller/Listener]

Third grade.

[Co-host 1]

Wow.

[Co-host 3]

Those poor things. I mean, you can't help it, obviously, but that's tough to be first.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Or last. First or last for a girl is very hard.

[Carl]

Yeah. Boys, too. And the thing I don't want to sound like as if I'm too crazy over it, but I encourage her to talk to me. Don't get it. I don't want you all to get it wrong, but I encourage her to talk to me. It's just hard when I go into the room by myself and just deal with it.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

I'm sure the so cute.

[Co-host 1]

You're such a good dad, Carl.

[Carl]

My baby.

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