Vault: His dream date turned into a disappointment.

Summary

The Bert Show: "Vault: His Dream Date Turned Into a Disappointment" (June 8, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode centers on Jesse, a listener who recently went on a long-anticipated date with a woman he considered to be "way out of his league." The cast and callers explore both Jesse’s surprisingly mature decision to end things after one date and the broader topic of why people sometimes tolerate incompatibility for physical attraction. The discussion is filled with humor, authenticity, and the show’s signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jesse’s Anticipation and Approach (00:58–01:46)

• Backstory: Jesse previously called the show, describing himself as a "4" and the woman he asked out as a "15."
• He followed The Bert Show’s advice and tried to play it cool by framing their get-together as a study session.
• Memorable Moment: She immediately saw through the pretense:
  • Jesse (01:29): “I went up to her and was like, hey, I’m not going to do good in this class, do you think we could set up like a once a week coffee thing? And immediately she says, you want to take me on a date, don’t you?”
• She then surprised him by agreeing to a date—setting it up for the very next day.

2. The Date Recap: High Hopes, Misaligned Chemistry (02:09–04:14)

• Location: Melting Pot on Barrett Parkway
• The date lasted about four hours; conversation flowed easily but…
• Both realized by the end that they weren’t romantically compatible, mutually agreeing to stay friends.
  • Jesse (02:44): “We both agreed that we just really aren’t that good of a match and that we’d be better off as friends.”
• Jesse initiated the "let’s just be friends" conversation towards the end of the date.

3. What Went Wrong? Digging Into Incompatibility (04:14–05:51):

• The cast probes Jesse, trying to nail down exactly what "clashed."
• Jesse struggles to articulate a specific reason, noting it was a subtle clash of personalities, especially her cynicism:
  • Jesse (05:36): “No, I guess you could say she’s cynical... little too cynical.”
• There were no major red flags—she was fun, smart, and appreciative—but a persistent undercurrent of cynicism made Jesse feel they weren’t a good fit.

4. The Cast Reactions: Skepticism and Stereotypes (05:51–07:55)

• The cast is stunned Jesse walked away after just one date with a woman he previously described as a "dream girl."
• Bert (05:51): “Maybe here's the flaw in your story, Jesse... When I was single... If I’m dating a total hottie... I would be able to get around that for four or five more dates just to hang out with her and try to sleep with her.”
• Jeff (07:00): “You’re just telling the story to get on the radio.”
• Jesse responds honestly, emphasizing his Christian values:
  • Jesse (06:25): “I’m a Christian, and I feel the fact that sex is something sacred for marriage, and that's the way I like.”
• Lighthearted banter ensues about the rarity of a man turning down a gorgeous woman after one date.

5. Crowd-Sourcing: Callers Reveal Their Limits for “Hotness” (08:11–12:14)

• Bert opens the lines, asking male listeners to share how long they stayed with women they didn’t truly like—simply because they were "so hot."
• Notable Caller Stories:
  • Jeff (09:26): Dated a "pain in the butt" girl for 2.5 years because she was gorgeous—even after she lied about being pregnant.
  • Kevin (10:52): Stayed with a “high maintenance” partner for 3 years; spent lavishly on her because he was captivated by her looks.
• The cast jokes about starting a website to vote on whether putting up with “crazy” behavior was worth it for physical attraction.
• Bert (12:06): “Jesse, you are an anomaly, my friend. For sure.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You want to take me on a date, don’t you?” — The girl, immediately seeing through Jesse's "study session" ruse. (01:31)
• “We both agreed that we just really aren’t that good of a match and that we’d be better off as friends.” — Jesse on mutual decision. (02:44)
• “How many times has a guy told a super hot girl that they’re not compatible at the end of the first date? Zero.” — Jeff, on the supposed rarity of Jesse’s choice. (07:55)
• “I’m a Christian, and I feel the fact that sex is something sacred for marriage, and that’s the way I like.” — Jesse, standing by his values. (06:25)
• “I wish you would just shut up. But she is hot.” — Caller or Co-host 1, joking about enduring a hot partner’s flaws. (08:36)
• “I was with a girl for three years, and merely because she was so hot, there was just no way I could let her go. But she drove me completely nuts.” — Caller Kevin. (10:57)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:58 – Recap of Jesse’s backstory and date setup
• 01:41 – The girl cuts to the chase: “You want to take me on a date, don’t you?”
• 02:14–02:55 – Jesse’s initial recap of the date and first realization of incompatibility
• 04:14–05:51 – The cast delves into why Jesse felt it wouldn't work
• 06:25 – Jesse cites his Christian beliefs as part of his decision-making
• 08:11–12:14 – Callers share their own stories of enduring incompatibility for attraction

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Conclusion

This episode humorously explores the reality check that sometimes, no matter how strong the initial attraction or hype, chemistry and compatibility matter more. Jesse’s honest, values-driven approach sets him apart—a point the cast and callers find unbelievable but admirable. The segment is both entertaining and thought-provoking, showcasing The Bert Show’s talent for combining laughs with real-life authenticity.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Bert]

borhears.com the Burt Show alright, so Jesse, we talked to him a couple of days ago and he was all sketched out because he considers himself a 4 and he was asking out a 15. So he said, you know, rather than just go ahead and ask her out on a date, you know, why don't you sort of chip on the wall a little bit and just ask her to go out and study a little bit, you know, so she'll take the friend angle on the whole thing. So her wall comes down. So he took our advice and he goes to the girl and he says, yeah, let's study. And then she throws a bomb at him that he wasn't expecting.

[Jesse]

I went up to her and I was like, hey, you know, I think I'm not gonna be able to do good in this class. Do you think we could set up like a once a week coffee thing? And immediately she says, you want to take me on a date, don't you?

[Bert]

She saw right through it.

[Jesse]

Wow, I want to take you out on a date. She says, okay, how about tomorrow?

[Caller or Co-host 1]

No way.

[Jesse]

Yeah, my mind's still spinning. I'm like, yeah, I mean, I've got a date tonight.

[Bert]

I can just imagine I bet that feeling of her saying, let's go on a date, and you just totally not being expecting. Expecting that, like what? Okay, I gotta be cool. Okay, cool. I gotta be cool. So that date was last night? Hey, Jesse.

[Jesse]

Hey. What's going on, guys?

[Bert]

How are you, man?

[Jesse]

I'm pretty good.

[Bert]

How'd it go last night?

[Jesse]

It went. It went good for the most part.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Okay, take us through the date from the beginning until the very end.

[Bert]

Yeah, something's not smelling right.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

I know.

[Jesse]

Okay, well, from the beginning, picked her up, we went down to Barrett Parkway to the melting pot. Had a good time, talked for about four hours and just had a good time.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

And conversation flowed really easily.

[Jeff]

Nope. I mean.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Oh, yeah.

[Jesse]

Yeah. I mean, it flowed really free. You know, everything was good. But, you know, we both agreed that we just really aren't that good of a match and that we'd be better off as friends.

[Jeff]

You had that conversation?

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Jesse]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Over, like, melting. When did that happen? I mean, did she initiate that part of the conversation or did you?

[Jesse]

I did.

[Bert]

You did?

[Jeff]

Dude, you're weird.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

When did that happen?

[Bert]

No, this is a great move.

[Jeff]

Keep on dating and keep on calling the show.

[Jesse]

So how did happened towards the end? It was just, you know, we started talking and I got to know her and she got to know me, and it was sort of just a mutual type thing. So.

[Bert]

So were you, actually.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

I'm confused.

[Bert]

Turned off by her by the end of the day. Like, she was. I mean, yeah, she's a hottie, but outside of that, she just wasn't for you?

[Jesse]

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, she. She's a great person and we'd be great friends, just not really. We're not dating compatible.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

What about her turned you off?

[Jesse]

Nothing really. Just. It's sort of hard to explain. I mean, I'm sorry.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Was she not very smart?

[Jesse]

Oh, no, she's very smart.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

So I'm trying to figure out what about her made you not like her, can be compatible with her. Like, what happened during the date that made this all happen?

[Jesse]

Well, it's mainly just, I guess you could say her personality. It just sort of clashed with mine a little too much. And it's just not something that I personally could deal with.

[Bert]

Okay, now we're getting into it here. So what was. What was the first red flag, the first conversation you guys were having where you went from, oh, my God, if I had the music of, like, angels singing right now to you going, wait a second, this might not work?

[Jesse]

Well, it's just the way that she would Say, things sort of caught me off guard a couple times. I'm like, huh. Well, that's interesting.

[Bert]

Like what?

[Jesse]

I can't remember right now. It's way too early.

[Jeff]

Well, you got to remember, one of them.

[Jesse]

You.

[Jeff]

The woman of your dreams from 36 hours ago has now broken your heart. So there's got to be one thing that stands out in mind. You're like, oh, this ain't gonna work.

[Bert]

Was she rude? Was she overly aggressive? Was she just not appreciative?

[Jesse]

Well, you know, it's not any of that. She was very appreciative. She. She thanked me. She said she had a fun time. But it's just. I really don't know how to explain it appropriately to where I can get the point across.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Is she kind of a complainer? Is she a negative person?

[Jesse]

No, I guess you could say she's cynical.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Cynical.

[Jesse]

Little too cynical.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Okay, that's something there. Yeah. If you're not a cynical person and somebody is, that would be a definite clash.

[Bert]

But. But.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

However, don't appreciate their cynicism.

[Bert]

Maybe here's the flaw in your story, Jesse. Maybe you're a better man than I am. When I was single is if I'm dating a total hottie. I mean, I have been watching this girl for a while, and I'm on a date with this beautiful thing. And yes, she's cynical. I would be able to get around that for four or five more dates just to hang out with her and try to sleep with her.

[Jeff]

Touch your boobs. Different standards.

[Bert]

Now you're saying that, yeah, she was cynical, but she's a hottie, and you're just not that way. The physical part, that's not for you.

[Jesse]

Yeah, exactly. You know, I mean, I'm a Christian, and I feel the fact that sex is something sacred for marriage, and that's the way I like.

[Jeff]

What about boobs?

[Jesse]

Boobs are nice, but, I mean, there's

[Jeff]

nothing in the Bible that says you can't go up a girl's shirt.

[Jesse]

Well, yeah, actually. Okay, not the way I roll.

[Bert]

All right, so you're more of a commitment kind of guy, and physically, she did it for you. But outside of that, Jeff is shaking his head. He's not buying the story.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I don't believe you.

[Bert]

Why?

[Jeff]

He's just. You're just telling the story to get on the radio.

[Female Caller]

Why?

[Bert]

He's a Christian. Guy wouldn't do that unless it was on the fish.

[Jeff]

Yeah, okay. To lie on the fish.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

If you're a Christian, why do you think he's Lying.

[Jeff]

Because no guy operates this way.

[Bert]

Sounds like he's peacocking a little bit.

[Jesse]

Well, you know, there's a few good. There's only a few good guys left in the world, and I think I'm one of them. And that's how we operate.

[Jeff]

Good for you, shutting the girl down at the end of the first date.

[Jesse]

Not shutting her down. We're still gonna be friends. He just has the study dates and stuff. But, you know, there's not really be involved.

[Bert]

You just know there's no future with this girl. She didn't do anything 40. Except physically. So you're just gonna end it after the first date?

[Jesse]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

If there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. I don't know why that has to be so weird.

[Bert]

Because. Because you got to think like a guy. You're thinking like a woman here. If a girl is that hot, we can work around her crappy attitude for weeks or months, even in some cases years.

[Jeff]

He's not joking like there is there. You know how many guys there are in the history of time since as long, you know, since God put Adam on earth, do you know how many times a guy has told a super hot girl that they're not compatible at the end of the first date? Zero.

[Bert]

Yeah, let me try to do this, actually. Joanna, clear the phones and find guys that were in a relationship the longest time with a girl that they didn't like but hung out because she was so hot. Will it be days? Will we find weeks? Will we find months?

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Married people.

[Bert]

We have. Yeah, there are married people right now. Been 25 years, man.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

I wish you would just shut up. But she is hot.

[Jeff]

I think every 100% of guys have done that. Three guys in the room. If you've done it, raise your hand.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Thank you all.

[Bert]

3. 404741. Q100. If you're a guy and you're in a relationship with a girl that you couldn't stand, but you stayed in because she's so hot. Tell us for how long. Hey, Tammy. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Hey.

[Female Caller]

I was just giving the girl's perspective. I mean, maybe she's kind of cynical because people have gone out with her for all the wrong reasons. So that's kind of what she feels like people expect of her. And, you know, he needs to give it another try in four hours. You absolutely don't know everybody. Everything about everybody, they're still on their the show. And, you know, you don't really know

[Jesse]

what you're getting thank you.

[Bert]

Here is Jeff. Good morning, Jeff. You are on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Hey. Yeah, I dated a girl that was a pain in the butt, and I

[Jesse]

put up with her for. For two and a half years.

[Jeff]

Yes, you did.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

She was hot.

[Bert]

How hot was she, man? Was she like a 10?

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Yeah, she was. She was up there.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

That's admirable. That's. You know what? That's well done.

[Bert]

Yes. If she's that hot and the physical part of the relationship is even remotely good, you will stick it out for a long time. Hey, Neil.

[Jeff]

Good Morning.

[Bert]

You're on Q100.

[Jesse]

How's it going, guys?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Jesse]

Good.

[Bert]

How long are we looking at?

[Jesse]

Almost a year.

[Bert]

And she was super hot, but just.

[Jesse]

What? She was psychotic. She was crazy.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

She. She lied.

[Jesse]

Told me she was pregnant a couple times. Wow. She was just crazy. But she was gorgeous.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

I mean, it happens.

[Jesse]

It happens.

[Jeff]

I almost think that's. That's the better question to ask, Bert, is not how long did you last? But what question? What crazy thing did you tolerate? Like, what did you put up with and still stay with? Cause, you know, it's like, oh, yeah, she stole my car and wrecked it. Really? Yep. Drove right into Lake Lanier. Seriously? Yep. Stay with her for a year after that. She was so hot.

[Bert]

I told you about Chandra. That girl I was dating, Chandra, at my own party. She flies down a flight of stairs, roundhouses me, almost knocks me to the ground. My knees buckle, and the next day we go on vacation together.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Stuck it out.

[Jeff]

She's hot.

[Bert]

Hey, Kevin.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Good morning.

[Bert]

You're on Q100.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Good morning. How are you guys?

[Bert]

Good. How are you?

[Jesse]

Hey.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

I was with a girl for three years, and merely because she was so hot, there was just no way I could. I could let her go. But she drove me completely nuts. And so high maintenance.

[Bert]

So it wasn't just. It wasn't one act of craziness. It was just so high maintenance. But it was worth for you to get to cater to it because she was so hot.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Well, she. She would take my credit card and spend, you know, five, six hundred dollars on a pair of shoes and say I just had to have them.

[Bert]

And she walked in the door, she's so hot. You just said, thank you for spending that money.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Thank you very much. Can we head this way?

[Bert]

Every guy, like every guy that has done any kind of dating has been in that situation.

[Jeff]

It would almost be a fun website to put up a picture of the girl. And then the story of next to it of what you put up with in order to tell us so put

[Jesse]

up and how long.

[Jeff]

So you'd have to find a picture of Chandra from, you know, 20 years ago, however long you dated, put that picture up and go. She punched me in the face in front of all of my friends. And then I took her to the Caribbean the next day. Guys will vote. Was she worth it?

[Bert]

That's a great idea, Jesse. You are an anomaly, my friend. For sure.

[Jesse]

Well, thank you, guys.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

All right, good luck finding your match.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Hey, thanks.

[Bert]

All right, bye. Bye. Hey, the bird show.