The Bert Show

Episode Summary: “Vault: His Whole Life He Was Told His Dad Was Dead. He Thinks That’s a Lie”

Date: April 10, 2026

Episode Overview

In this gripping and emotional episode, the Bert Show team talk with listener Chris, who has lived his whole life believing his biological father was dead. Now 22, Chris is starting to question the conflicting stories from his family and wonders if his father could actually be alive. The hosts guide him through his uncertainty, touching on themes of family secrets, trust, identity, and the search for truth. The show also features calls from listeners who've experienced similar situations, providing both empathy and advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Chris’s Story: Confusion and Curiosity

• Chris explains the conflicting stories he’s heard from various family members about his father’s death.
  • “I was told that he died when I was 2. I was told that he died before I was born. My grandma won’t talk to me about it. My mom...says that he died before I was born. My aunt...says that he died when I was 2.” (Chris, 00:18–00:28)
• He expresses fear of offending his loving stepdad by asking about his biological father.
• Visiting his grandmother recently rekindled his curiosity—each time he asks to see the gravesite, something prevents it (01:56).
• Chris has never seen a gravesite or headstone—only a photograph of his father (02:45).

The Digital Search:

• Chris describes his own investigations online:
  • “I can’t find death records, I can’t find anything that says that he [died]...When I did a Google search, I found that it said that he was living in Pittsburgh, California. He’s 46 years old, that he had an address and a phone number…” (Chris, 03:51–04:15)
• Raises doubt in him—did his family lie? Or could his mother truly believe the story she’s told?

Emotional Stakes & Questions of Identity

• The hosts note the deep psychological impact:
  • “If it turns out not to be true, now you’ve got this whole line of deception behind you with the people that you do know...you’re looking for closure in one area. But if you get closure in one area, it’s gonna open up a whole bunch of wounds in another area.” (Host A, 04:50–05:27)
• Chris acknowledges: “Yeah, it’ll definitely rock my world if he’s still alive.” (05:31)
• The dilemma: Should he pursue the truth, or let it go as some advice?

Listener Calls & Perspectives

Julie’s Call — Advice to Leave It Alone (06:13)

• Julie describes a similar situation, expressing her belief that sometimes, what you don’t know can’t hurt you:
  • "If your mom doesn’t want you to know, maybe that’s a good reason. Maybe you should just leave it alone." (Julie, 06:20)
• Chris immediately disagrees: “I can’t. There’s too much data pointing that it’s possible that he’s alive.” (06:46)

The Pressure to Know

• Host E raises the specter of the father’s presence—could he be someone Chris unknowingly encounters in his daily life? (06:53)
• Host D wonders: “Does he know about you?”—raising questions about what the father was told, and why the split happened (07:05–07:22).
• Chris suspects a darker family truth:
  • "He did get put in jail for...I think possibly drugs...they just don't want me to know about it." (Chris, 07:23–07:46)
• Questions asked about the veracity of this jail story and the sources—are these facts or additional family fabrications? (07:49–08:06)

Mike’s Call — The Power and Pain of Seeking Truth (08:33)

• Listener Mike shares a resonant story: lied to for decades, he found his father through family confessions and the internet at 32, gaining closure but also new family strain.
  • “My biggest word of advice to you is, do what your heart tells you to do...there’s always going to be that question in the back of your mind if you don’t do it, you know, what if… And that’s what I thought my whole life, because I had a lot of anger issues growing up.” (Mike, 09:23–10:38)

The Hosts Reflect: The Enduring Power of Parenting

• Discussion turns to how parental relationships—good or bad, presence or absence—shape a child permanently.
  • “As a parent, you have to know that that child is so connected to you for the rest of their life.” (C, 10:45–10:53)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Chris (on the discovery process):

  • “The only thing I’ve ever seen or know about my dad is a picture. That’s it.” (02:45)
  • “Yeah, it’ll definitely rock my world if he’s still alive.” (05:31)

• Host A (on the emotional complexity):

  • “The more answers he gets, the more if they’re true, then the more alienation he’s gonna feel to the people that have been lying to him all these years.” (11:39)

• Mike (on finding his father):

  • “You don’t want to…grow up saying, you know, what if. You know, why wasn’t he there? I mean, did he not want me or… And that’s what I thought my whole life, because I had a lot of anger issues growing up.” (10:27)

• Host C (on the impact of parental relationships):

  • “Regardless of if you’re in their life or not in their life. As a parent, you have to know that that child is so connected to you for the rest of their life.” (10:45)

Important Timestamps

• 00:18–00:38: Chris details conflicting stories about his father’s death
• 01:56–02:49: Chris explains attempts to visit a gravesite and see proof
• 03:51–04:15: Chris describes his online search and shocking results
• 05:31: Chris: “Yeah, it’ll definitely rock my world if he’s still alive.”
• 06:13–06:46: Listener Julie calls in, urges letting it go; Chris responds
• 07:05–07:46: Chris wonders if his father was in jail, questions family honesty
• 08:33–10:38: Mike’s emotional call sharing his own journey to find the truth
• 10:41–10:53: Hosts reflect on the lifelong effect of parental ties
• 11:39–12:01: Hosts discuss the compounding pain truth may bring

Final Thoughts

The episode is an emotional rollercoaster, expertly balancing empathy and practical advice as Chris faces one of life’s most critical personal mysteries. The hosts and listeners connect over shared stories of loss, deception, and the drive to know one’s roots, revealing how the truth can both heal and hurt. The show closes on the lasting impact of parenting and the difficult choices in the search for identity.