Vault: His Wife Kicked Him Out Of The Delivery Room...Why?

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: His Wife Kicked Him Out Of The Delivery Room...Why?"

March 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a heated and humorous discussion about a listener, Brian, whose honest admission about not wanting to be in the delivery room with his pregnant wife led to bigger relationship troubles. The cast debates modern expectations for fathers, issues around personal choice versus support in childbirth, and—at the heart—a question of control in relationships. The segment features real callers weighing in, playful ribbing among the hosts, and a raw, sometimes chaotic, exploration of what support means during a pivotal family moment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dilemma: Should Dads Have a Choice? (01:03 - 02:25)

• Context Originates with Jeff: Jeff proposes that men should have a genuine choice about being in the delivery room, highlighting that it used to be off limits for men, and now there is a societal expectation for them to be present.
  • Jeff (01:16):

    "And my big thing was, you know, with guys in the delivery room that years ago, they weren't allowed in there, and now they are...some guys might have weak stomachs or not want to see their wives in that state..."

• Listener Drama Begins: Brian admits he told his wife, in blunt terms, that childbirth is "gross and disgusting" and suggests her experienced sister should be present instead of him.

2. Brian’s Failed “Re-Approach” & Escalating Drama (03:21 - 04:38)

• Brian’s Attempt to Fix: After advice from the show, Brian tries to smooth things over with flowers and by suggesting his wife’s sister as a replacement support person. The discussion backfires.
  • Brian (03:26):

    "I went out and I got the flowers...and I took you guys' advice...basically going to suggest that her sister...be in there with her...it didn't really go as well as I'd hoped."

• Wife Sets a Boundary: His wife, already hurt, had pre-emptively arranged for her sister to be her delivery companion, bluntly telling Brian to wait outside.
  • Brian (04:00):

    "...she basically said, you know what? She's gonna be in the delivery with me. You don't have to be here at all. You can wait in the waiting room, and we'll just call you when it's done."

3. The Real Issue: Control vs. Support (04:42 - 10:20)

• Brian Wants Choice—not Orders: He insists he’s not upset about being left out, but about not having a choice:
  • Brian (05:47):

    "I wanted to be in the waiting room, but I want it to be my choice to be in the waiting room."

  • The cast expresses growing frustration and confusion with Brian’s complaints, noting he’s gotten what he asked for but isn’t satisfied.
• Cast’s Judgment:
  • Cassie (06:44):

    "At this point, this guy's jacking with us, right?"

  • Bert (08:08):

    "Yeah. You know what, Brian? You're right. It is gross and it is disgusting...Go ahead. If you really need to be in the waiting room, go ahead. That's what he wanted to hear. What a tool."

• Control Freak or Misunderstood?
  • The team unpacks that Brian’s real issue is the sense of having no control or agency, not just squeamishness about childbirth.
  • Jeff (10:08):

    "Yes, guys, you're right. I mean, I do have control issues, because I have no control on this. It's just I'm being told, stay out. I'm being told, get in."

4. Audience and Expert Reactions (08:16 - 09:59; 11:13 - 12:24)

• Callers Respond: Listeners call in to roast and advise Brian. A certified doula suggests hiring professional labor support to allow flexibility.
  • Judy, Caller (08:18):

    "Oh, I just can't even believe this idiot. Oh, my God...he's going to be paying for this for the rest of his life."

  • Kimberly, Doula Caller (08:58):

    "...the solution to all of it: They need to hire a doula. Get a doula in the room so he can go in and out if he needs to."

• Doula’s Explanation: Clarifies the role of a doula as non-medical professional labor support, differentiated from midwives.

5. Emotional Stakes: Parenting, Regret & Setting the Tone (11:13 - End)

• Long-Term Consequences:

  • Jennifer, Caller (11:15):

    "You just need to suck it up and deal with it and be in there. And you know what? You're gonna regret it, dude. You are totally gonna regret it."

  • Cassie (11:43):

    "Such a sad way to start the life of your child, you know what I mean? [...] when you become parents, it completely changes your life. You aren't the important one anymore."

• Brian Doubles Down: Argues that the real issue is being told what to do, worrying about the precedent it sets in his family.

  • Brian (13:10):

    "Well, what kind of example is it if the first thing our child's life, the example we set, is just have the dad go do whatever the mom tells him to do?"

• Final Thoughts from the Team:

  • It’s “not even reversible now,” says Bert; the damage is done as far as the wife’s memory of this milestone. Everyone agrees the root is not logistics or parenting philosophy, but Brian's larger need for control.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Choice vs. Obligation:
  • Brian (05:47):

    "I wanted to be in the waiting room, but I want it to be my choice to be in the waiting room."

• On Consequences of Brutal Honesty:
  • Judy, Caller (08:18):

    "...he's going to be paying for this for the rest of his life...she has never gonna forgive him."

• On Regret and Parenting:
  • Jennifer, Caller (11:15):

    "You just need to suck it up and deal with it and be in there...You're gonna regret it, dude."

• On The Real Issue (Control):
  • Cassie (14:16):

    "Yeah, this is not being. This is, I don't think, an issue about either being in the delivery room or not anymore. It's a total control issue."

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Important Timestamps

• 01:03 – Topic Introduced: Should men be “required” to be in the delivery room?
• 03:21 – Brian’s recount of his failed apology and his wife’s final decision.
• 05:47 – Brian’s insistence that it’s about having a "choice".
• 08:16 – Host frustration peaks; the “what a tool” moment.
• 08:58 – Doula caller explains options for support during labor.
• 11:13 – Caller weighs in with a warning about regret.
• 12:07 – Cast discusses how this breach could impact the start of Brian’s parenting journey.

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Episode Tone & Style

Lively, sarcastic, and direct, the Bert Show cast uses banter and playful confrontation to unpack the issue. The hosts, especially Bert and Jeff, oscillate between comical disbelief and sincere advice. Listeners provide both professional perspectives and emotional takes, amplifying the sense of real-world stakes and ripple effects in relationships.

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Takeaways

• Brutal honesty about wanting out of childbirth support can have real relationship consequences—sometimes larger than anticipated.
• The heart of the issue isn’t always what it first appears; emotional needs about agency and respect can drive the surface conflict.
• Decisions around childbirth and family roles remain deeply personal and charged, with strong views on both sides about tradition, gender roles, and mutual support.

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This episode is a sharp, funny, but ultimately poignant examination of partnership, communication, and the ways small conflicts can reveal larger insecurities and dynamics in a relationship.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

reggie, I just sold my car online. Let's go, Grandpa.

[A]

Wait, you did?

[B]

Yep. On Carvana. Just put in the license plate, answered a few questions, got an offer in minutes. Easier than setting up that new digital picture frame.

[A]

You don't say.

[B]

Yeah, they're even picking it up tomorrow. Talk about fast.

[A]

Wow. Way to go.

[B]

So, about that picture frame.

[C]

Ah, forget about it.

[B]

Until Carvana makes one, I'm not interested.

[D]

Car selling made easy on Carvana.

[A]

Pick up.

[B]

These may apply.

[A]

The Burt Show.

[B]

Brian is back on the phone here. This is all Jeff's doing.

[E]

I just threw it out there. He's the one he decided to follow. I wouldn't follow my own advice if I didn't.

[B]

In fact, Jessica's already told him that you're not allowed to follow your own advice if she gets pregnant.

[E]

Right. And my big thing was, you know, with guys in the delivery room that years ago, they weren't allowed in there, and now they are allowed in there. And there was never an option presented. It was just like, oh, you can come in now. And some guys might have weak stomachs or not want to see their wives in that state or have other things to do. So, I mean, busy labor can take, like, 24 hours or longer, some cases. You know what I mean? So what's a guy just going to stop his life, like, and wait, you know?

[D]

Stats to check online, ESPN.

[E]

So a lot of videos on Break.com I have not seen yet.

[D]

True.

[E]

So I wonder if I could bring my laptop in.

[B]

You could do anything you want. Just know that you're not going to have a wife to go back to. Right?

[D]

Right.

[F]

You're alone after that day, but just

[E]

kind of talking about this. And we were talking about it. Jessica, my wife is not pregnant, but our producer Tracy is. And, you know, I did tell her to go ask her husband Scott if he wanted to be in the delivery room. And he was so offended, they got in an argument like, I couldn't believe you asked me that.

[B]

Of course, of course. Jeff is just saying it should be an option.

[F]

So you started two arguments in two separate relationships. One in Tracy's with Scott, and second with Brian and his wife.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Feels good for you, doesn't it?

[E]

So Brian. Brian did the same thing. You know, Tracy went and said, hey, do you really want to be in there? And then Brian did the opposite thing and went to his pregnant wife and said, hey, I really don't want to be in there. His exact quote was, it's gross and disgusting, which might not have been the tact. That might not have been the. The approach, the invasion plan I would have executed for playing Risk. You know, that's probably not the proper maneuver, but I think it's recoverable. And we gave him some suggestions yesterday, and Bert was very helpful, too, so.

[B]

Morning. Q100A.

[E]

Brian Gags. Gags.

[C]

Good morning, guys.

[B]

Good morning. Philip's.

[D]

Gag me with.

[E]

Seriously?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Goes along with the rubber chicken thing.

[A]

We had a couple.

[D]

Wait a second.

[E]

Somebody's up to some tomfoolery.

[F]

You brought up Archie Bunker earlier. Jeff Dahmer, who's involved in shenanigans around old school.

[B]

Brian's back here. All right, Brian, so you tried a re. Approach last night with your pregnant wife?

[C]

I did. I went out and I got the flowers, and I went and, you know, talked to her, and I took you guys advice and was basically going to suggest that her sister, who already has a kid, be in there with her since she has experience and she's done this before. And it didn't. You. It didn't really go as well as I'd hoped.

[F]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Again, never saw this advice.

[E]

Listen to what he's saying.

[C]

Well, what wound up happening was, is I brought her the flowers, and I could kind of tell that they really weren't working at all. And I kind of, you know, plowed ahead anyways, and she basically cut me off and just said, don't worry about it. And I hadn't even had a chance to talk to her sister, but she had already talked to her sister and. Or her sister, and she had already talked to her sister and basically said, you know what? She's gonna be in the delivery with me. You don't have to be here at all. You can wait in the waiting room, and we'll just call you when it's done. And she's still mad at me.

[B]

Yeah, of course she is.

[E]

Well, no, but you got what you wanted.

[B]

No, he didn't. No, he didn't.

[C]

I mean, now it's. I mean, that's another situation where, like, I don't want to be in the waiting room, but now even if I did, I can't be in there. It's just basically. I mean, I may as well just, you know, stand somewhere and hold her suitcases for. I'm just being. I'm just constantly being told what to do here, like you.

[B]

So now you don't want to be

[C]

in the waiting room? Get the waiting room. Don't be in the waiting room. It's just I have no say in it. I don't want to be in the waiting room. If I said yes, waiting or delivery, Rather in the delivery room. Okay, If. If I was supposed to be in delivery, if I wanted to be in delivery room, if I said yes to being in the living room, I was only gonna be there because she told me to. And now I'm being told to wait in the waiting room. And I mean, it's just. I'm just. None of this is my choice.

[B]

Well, what else? What? Where else do you want to be?

[E]

I mean, he wants the option.

[B]

You said you didn't want to be in the delivery room, so where else do you want to be?

[E]

But she took away the option from him.

[C]

I wanted to be in the waiting room, but I want it to be my choice to be in the waiting room.

[B]

What?

[D]

She just gave you your choice? That was it.

[F]

That's the problem.

[C]

No, no, she didn't give me my choice. She told me to. Basically, I'm not allowed in the house.

[F]

So he didn't know that's what you want.

[E]

You didn't want to be, right?

[C]

In a way, yeah, But, I mean, you know, I'd like it for. I'd like to actually have some say in it.

[B]

You got issues, man.

[C]

Even if I wanted to be in the living room, I'm not allowed.

[B]

What? You're just.

[D]

You got.

[B]

You got control, big time control issues, whatever.

[C]

Well, I mean, not only that, but her sister's got a kid. I mean, yeah, the kids. Not bad, but, you know, like you guys said, you know, sometimes labor takes about, you know, 24 hours, which I hope it doesn't take that long for her sake as well as mine, but I've got a babysitter kid in the waiting room the entire time.

[B]

Hold on one second. At this point, this guy's jacking with us, right?

[D]

I'm just confused on what even his point is about having a choice or making the decision. I don't even know what he's saying.

[F]

Jeff, you're his leader at this point.

[E]

I know exactly what he's saying. He didn't want to be in the delivery room, right? So he goes and he tells his wife, and so she takes that option away from him. And now he's just panicked because he doesn't have an option.

[B]

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

[D]

It doesn't make sense to me.

[B]

He doesn't want to be controlled at all. He wants to do what? He wants to do this. He wants it to be his choice

[D]

if he wanted to.

[E]

Right now he's afraid that if he's in the waiting room and he's. And he's like, well, I want to be a part of this. And he goes to walk in, his wife and her sister are both going to be like, you blew it. Get out.

[D]

Well, that's what they're already saying, right? I mean, she's already so mad at him, she doesn't want him in there anymore.

[B]

And I'm sure the conversation was something like, okay, fine, you don't want to be in the deliver room, fine. Stay in the way. That's great. Just do what you want to do. And now he's got it. But she didn't say it in a way that he really believes she's accepting.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

So he's not.

[E]

She did the equivalent of, all right, fine, if you're not going to move your car into the garage, I'll do it. And then you feel guilty for the rest of the night because you know what I mean?

[D]

Gotcha. So he wanted her to somehow be like, oh, sweetie, that's just fine.

[B]

You do whatever you want to do.

[D]

I just love you, and that's going to be fine. Whatever you want to do. Lazy.

[B]

Yeah. You know what, Brian? You're right. It is gross and it is disgusting.

[D]

Is that what he wanted?

[B]

And I. You made me realize how disgusting it is. So go ahead. If you really need to be in the waiting room, go ahead. That's what he wanted to hear. What a tool.

[D]

What a jerk.

[B]

Judy, you're on Q100.

[G]

Oh, I just can't even believe this idiot. Oh, my God. I mean, what is wrong with him? He goes home yesterday to apologize and thinks she's going to accept his apology. And I mean, he's going to be paying for this for the rest of his life. Not only with his own guilt, but she has never gonna forgive him.

[F]

Way to go, Jeff.

[E]

Hey, I just put it out there. I wouldn't take. Like I said, I. If you take my advice, you're more.

[D]

Now, we've had a lot of people save that We've had a lot of

[F]

people who said we were being too hard on Brian. So I just want to give the challenge to those.

[B]

They're still coming.

[F]

Okay. All right, here's one.

[B]

Kimberly, call up.

[G]

Hello.

[B]

Hello.

[G]

Good morning.

[B]

Yeah, you tell us.

[G]

Well, look, this guy definitely made a mistake. He. By telling his wife. I mean, if she's scared, too, she can't leave. She has to be there. But the solution to all of it. They need to hire a doula. Get a doula in the room so he can go in and out if he needs to. I have caught many a man who have passed out in the delivery room.

[E]

Do you work in a delivery room or do you just creepily hang out there?

[G]

I'm a certified doula. I'm a professional labor support person.

[B]

I've never even heard of that phrase before. What is that?

[G]

A professional labor support.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

It's like. What was the former term of it?

[G]

Well, a lot of people compare it to midwifery. Yes, except we do not do any of the medical. The midwives come and do all the checks and the tests and all that. We're there as professional support.

[E]

Is it midwifery or midwifery?

[B]

Either way, same thing, same tomato.

[E]

Yeah, but I've heard.

[D]

I've heard of a lot of successful natural births with doulas.

[B]

I just don't. I don't think it's a doula issue. I think it's a him now just feeling like he's being controlled issue, like it didn't matter one way or the other.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Yes, guys, you're right. I mean, I do have control issues, because I have no control on this. It's just I'm being told, stay out. I'm being told, get in. I'm being told, stay out. And it's.

[D]

Well, you started this. You're not being told anything. You went to your wife and you started this saying, hey, I don't.

[C]

I didn't start this. I told her I didn't want to be in there.

[D]

Which means you started it.

[C]

She was telling me I had to be in there.

[B]

You got what you wanted. You didn't want to be in the delivery room. She gave you that. But not in the way that you wanted it to be given, because now

[C]

I'm being told I can't be in there.

[D]

So what?

[B]

Ideally, when you walked in there, what did you want her to say? I can't believe how pissed I'm getting. What did you want her to say?

[D]

I know.

[C]

Basically, I wanted to realize that having her Sister in there would be a better idea. And it would be a better idea. It would be good if I were in the waiting room. And now, basically, she's looking at as being a good thing, I'm in the waiting room, she's looking at as a bad thing, me being in the delivery room. And it's just, you know, you go, here you go, there you go. Where I tell you to go, where you can go.

[E]

Bet.

[B]

Hey, Jennifer, you're on Q100.

[G]

I cannot believe this guy. First he doesn't want to be in there, now he wants to be in there. Whatever. My husband, he doesn't really like that yucky stuff. But, you know, I talked to him the other day, and he said he doesn't remember any of it. You don't realize when you're looking at it that, you know, that's what you're seeing. You just see the baby, and you totally forget about it. So he just needs to suck it up and deal with it and be in there. And you know what? You're gonna regret it, dude. You are totally gonna regret it.

[B]

You are gonna regret it.

[D]

Such a sad way to start the life of your child, you know what I mean? It's like all of your life is gonna completely change. This is your first baby together, and. And when you become parents, it completely changes your life. You aren't the important one anymore. And this is how. This is the first step in that whole parenting process is she's going to deliver the child with her sister alone and not trust you to be there and doesn't even want you to be there now.

[B]

And at this point, it's not even reversible. I mean, what you've done already, the last 48 hours with her is the memory that she's gonna have going into the delivery. It's not even reversible now. I mean, the only thing I think.

[E]

I think he. I think you need to talk to your wife tonight and explain that that child is yours.

[F]

See what Following Jeff has put you

[D]

where it's put you.

[E]

Thus far, I've been very quiet during the second class.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Sometimes my wife, in the beginning, you came strong. Yeah.

[D]

And now you're like, oh, no, I

[B]

gotta take one more call because it's from Jenna, who totally agrees with him. Okay, Jenna, go ahead.

[G]

Good morning, Burt Show.

[B]

Good morning.

[G]

I have to admit that I lied. I don't agree with him at all. But I do. I just wanted to ask him if this is their first child they're having.

[C]

Yeah, this is the first One.

[G]

First one, Brian. Okay. Do you. Do you know how scared your wife probably is?

[C]

Well, I think she's more mad at me than scared of anything else.

[G]

You don't think that child.

[C]

I know it's a gigantic ordeal, but I mean, like they said that this is the first ordeal. This is the first thing in the child's life and it's a bad example. Well, what kind of example is it if the first thing our child's life, the example we set, is just have the dad go do whatever the mom tells him to do? I mean, well, what's going to happen later on?

[G]

But see, Brian, that's not what this is about, you getting told what to do.

[C]

I'm not going to be given an option.

[B]

Yeah, no one is going to say anything here to make you feel better about it. And your wife is not even capable of saying anything now to make you feel better about it. So whatever. I don't know what to tell you. She's not going to give you what you want. She's not going to be okay with you not being in the delivery room. So you got what you want. She did the best she could. Go ahead. You don't want to be in here. You got my permission. Go. You got what you wanted. That's as good as it's going to get.

[F]

But I don't think that's what he wanted. I think the whole issue when Jeff first started was the fact of having control, having an option for the man to be able to say what he wants to do and be able to do it. And so he didn't get what he wanted.

[B]

Yeah, this is not being. This is, I don't think, an issue about either being in the delivery room or not anymore. It's a total control issue.

[D]

And I'm sure it's not about gross and disgusting.

[B]

And I'm sure if we were in your house like every day, this would be the real issue that's going on in your house. Yeah, I agree with you, Brian. I'm leaving. Bye, bye, goodbye the bird show.