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Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Hey, the Bird Show. What's up, hoss?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
What's going on, man?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
How you doing, dude?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
I'm doing good.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I'm a little concerned about you. I'm not gonna lie.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Why?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I am really just a little bit concerned because I've been that guy before that in my case it was going across the country, but in your case it's, you know, a couple of hundred miles and was kind of like the fish out of water. And here you are in Atlanta. I mean, you're getting lost at every single turn I mean, to, to me it's like a guy so intimidated that he doesn't leave his hotel room for two weeks. I mean, I could call the guy anytime of day, afternoon or night, and there he was playing Madden all day. Just wouldn't leave the hotel room. I'm a little concerned.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah, yeah, I'm still getting lost, but I got some sleep last night and today I got some stuff to do. But then I'm gonna go around and hopefully hit up a bar. So I don't care if I have to sit there by myself. I need to go out and get drunk. I'm just. All the stress is gone now. I just, I need a drink.
Host 2
You've moved. You're here because moving just sucks. I mean, there is nothing about moving that is fun. Nothing at all. So it's like you've just been in this like, mode of getting everything here, but you're finally here. Mom helped you move in and mom went back home yesterday.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Mom's gone. Yesterday afternoon I finally got everything done. It was just like a. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I just feel awesome now. I'm ready to go.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
So if by some chance you find yourself at happy hour and there's one lonely guy at the end of the bar with an 86 hat on just desperately trying to get your attention to talk to anybody, that is me, it's probably Hoss or he's asking you for.
Host 3
Directions, then you know, that's Hoss.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Give us kind of the examples of, of what you would be looking for in a bar and then we'll give you some suggestions of where we think that you might be able to go today or tonight.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
I love a good, like a, a good pub. Like this hat that I got on, this 86 hat is an old speakeasy up in New York that not a lot of people know about. So I like those hole in the wall type of places.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
So a place where you can wear.
Host 3
Like a hole in the wall?
Host 2
Yeah, yeah, you could do like a Fox and Hound.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah, I know Fox and Hound. Yeah, more like your sports bar. Just type hole in the wall type of place. Like Frankie's.
Host 4
Frankie's is right down the road from his house. Like that'd be perfect.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Like almost condemned type of places.
Host 4
And by the way, how about like.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Is it Mike and Angelo's down in Buckhead?
Host 4
Yeah, it closed years ago.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
No, it's still open. I just went by. Just went by it the other day.
Host 4
Are you sure?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Uh huh.
Host 4
Which one am I thinking of? What's the one right next to it. Is that where you went and played darts?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
They had. As soon as you walk in, there's a big dart room, pool table, there's to the right.
Host 4
Okay, what was the. What was the bar then to the left of that and it's really cool.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
And it had the outside area.
Host 4
That one's gone, right?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Right. Is that Rosencrown?
Host 4
I think so.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I don't know.
Host 3
So like near where you live in Sandy Springs, if you go one direction up Roswell, there's North river Tavern. If you go south on Rosw, well, there's the Frankies that he's talking about. But still both of those are probably not hole in the wall pubs. But still, they're sports bars with the.
Host 4
Deck, the brown dirt.
Host 2
What about ten Lizzies?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Tin Lizzies. That place is awesome. I was there Friday night. What do you think? The patio out there, it's great because that's more Buckhead.
Host 2
Probably a little bit younger than whatever's on Roswell road. Right?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Hotties out there too, dude.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Sweet.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Nice. All right, great suggestion. Hoss has put up a MySpace page and it looks great. It looks really good.
Host 3
Thank you.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Here's what we are hoping for. That you guys will hear how pathetic Haas truly is. You will go to his MySpace page, you will start to interact with him and then we're hoping one of you guys already has like maybe plans to go out with a bunch of friends. Maybe it's just you. Maybe you just go to the website and you take a look at Hoss, who's a pretty decent looking guy. In fact, I already know that there's one woman in the office that is on your jock.
Host 3
Really?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Yeah.
Commercial Announcer
Yes.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I ain't saying sweet. I know of a couple actually.
Commercial Announcer
Already.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Do you really? I know one for sure.
Host 3
Okay, stop talking. Stop talking about me in front of my face, guys.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
So I'm assuming he's a cutie.
Host 2
I mean, he is a cutie. He's got. You have blue eyes, right?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah, blue, green.
Host 2
Yeah, he has really pretty eyes.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
He's not gonna have any problem getting, I'm assuming here in town blushing a little bit.
Host 3
Um, yeah. So. And you know, you talk about sports, you know, maybe if somebody's going out with friends tonight to a pub or if you're going to one watch baseball games tonight or something too. I mean, if you're you or with your boys and you know some women are going to be there and y' all hang out because there's plenty. The one great thing about again, being in the south is that at these sports bars there's going to be plenty of women as well as guys.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
So what do you guys.
Host 2
I need to be your friend.
Host 4
I know he's only got two friends. Even Tom blew him off his family.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Tom doesn't like me.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
That is lonely.
Host 2
I'll be your friend. You'll have three at the end of.
Host 4
The show, let me read from the book of Hoss's blurbs.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I was gonna have Hoss read it.
Host 4
Okay, that makes more sense.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Why don't you go over there.
Host 3
So people can get to know the Bill Clinton voice? That is Hoss.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
That is right.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
I'm getting suggestions for Peachtree Tavern, Moondogs, Rusty Nail and American Pie for now.
Host 3
Rusty Nail.
Host 2
But Hoss is actually of age to drink. Are you allowed to go to Moondogs?
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
If you're too right. You may feel like the old guy there.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yes.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
All right, go ahead and read from your MySpace page. All right.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Hello Atlanta. After spending the past 24 years of my life in Charlotte, North Carolina. I got the opportunity to move down to to the atl. And now is the time that I need to start embracing this city and all the Burt show listeners. Now here's a little info about me. I'm 24, 6ft tall, 210 pounds with brown spiky hair and green eyes. I'm your typical 24 year old guy because I love sports, drinking and hanging out with my boys. My usual night out consists of going out to dinner, then back to my place for some pre partying and then out to the bars. If you're still wondering what I'm all about, then below is a little list of things that I love and slash hate. Love, unc, Tar Heel basketball, the Braves, the Carolina Panthers, Notre Dame football, girls, captain and cokes, Miller Lite, ESPN, Wendy's, Madden 2007, grilling bulldogs and boxers, so on and so forth. I hate Duke University, the Falcons, complainers, snakes, traffic and mean people have to drive through at 2am when you're driving.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Well, you have come to the right place if you hate traffic.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yes.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Perfect place for you. And that last part mean people at the drive through at 2am when you're drunk.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
All right.
Host 4
And I especially think that the hatred of traffic is beneficial to someone who gets lost every time exactly farther than they echo down the road from their house.
Host 3
And if he gets lost in Falcons traffic, he's going to be really mad.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Who you'd like to meet?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
I've been privy enough to meet and hang out with the people that I should have never had access to. Now, I'm not going to go into the usual, God, Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, blah, blah, blah. But if I could meet anyone, I would probably say some type of mob boss. I think you would have some fun stories. I would. I think that would be cool.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
You can go to Hosses MySpace page. It's MySpace.com. hoss Birchill. All right.
Host 2
Bircho or Burchell?
Host 3
Hoss.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Hoss Birchill.
Host 2
Okay.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Any other questions we should ask him before we set him into the wild?
Host 4
He needs friends.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
What about.
Host 4
It's really lonely in his top eight. Like, he needs some help.
Host 2
Yeah, he definitely needs some friends on there. But what about music preferences? What do you like to listen to or go out and see?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
I have that on there, too. Right now. I like some Michael Buble gym class heroes. But, like, I'm all. I'm into all types, like Fallout Boy, Montgomery Gentry, Chris Brown, Maroon 5.
Host 4
We play all the hits.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah. Like, I like pretty much everything. I'm really big into the gym class heroes right now.
Host 4
Feller named Rhubarb.
Knox (Podcast Advertiser)
He'll get you.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Here's what we're asking you guys to do is go to MySpace.com berkshohas and is it Bert show Haas? I'm gonna confuse that Hoss Burt show and go ahead, check them out. And then what we're hoping is one of you guys kind of take them under your wing tonight and say, look, I'm already going out. Why don't you guys go hang with us, do that for a couple of days.
Host 4
You guys, you just mean him because it's just gonna be him.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Yeah.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Yeah.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Or if this could be just a girl listening said, no. You know what? I'll show them around a little bit.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
I'm all for it. Let's do it.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Do that for a couple of days, and then we'll start picking for you.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Sweet.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Which is gonna be way more fun for us. Yeah. Brian, what's going on? You're on Q100.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Not much, man. We got a bunch of boys going out tonight. The Winston's. We always go out every Wednesday after softball. And then on the weekends, we always just chill, go out, have a good time, seeing if you want to roll with us.
Host 4
Sure.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Absolutely. Doesn't matter to me. I'm ready to go. I just want to drink. I do not care where, just ready to drink.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
The bar is set low. Colleen, good morning. You are on Q100 in the Burt Show. Hi.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Hey.
Caller
I used to, when I can't get the Burt Show. I listen to Ace and TJ because I live in North Georgia and this is not the house. I know. And ladies, watch out, because once he gets his feet on the ground, he is the ladies man.
Host 2
Are you the ladies man? What's your type? Do you have a type of girl?
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
No. Two legs, two arms, boobs, yeah, everything. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not too particular, but yeah, that's what.
Host 2
Would you date women younger than you or older than you or both?
Host 4
Absolutely.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Younger and older.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Who wouldn't you go out with? Just curious.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Nobody. Pretty much open to all.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Colleen, what is it that we need to know about Hoss that you already know? Besides him being kind of a lady killer?
Caller
He is the party animal. And they always used to tease him.
Knox (Podcast Advertiser)
About.
Caller
His drinking, and that's pretty much about it. They would always just pick on them all the time about all the ladies and drinking and living with. I can't think of their producer's name. I can't think of his name right now, off the top of my head.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Ryan.
Caller
Yeah, that's it.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
All right. So really, what we know now is that you dig drinking, you like going to hole in walls, probably. The club scene is probably not for him. What? What are you laughing about? What are you laughing about?
Host 2
Nothing.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
It's greenness.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
What? Jim.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
What?
Host 2
No, I'm not laughing about anything.
Knox (Podcast Advertiser)
I'm not.
Host 2
I'm really not.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Other things that you need to know about Hoss are up online right now. MySpace.com HossBertShell. Go be his friend.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Please.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Please be his friend. It is really pretty pathetic. When you start your page, there's only two people on it. It's pretty pathetic, dude.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
And Jen Fallon says she's gonna take me out tonight, so.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Oh, hell, now she can go with it.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
We've already agreed. No, I know. That's all I'm saying. Well, you know. Yeah.
Host 4
Plus she's not giving it up till she's married, so.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Yeah.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Oh, nevermind. I playing. I'm playing.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Have we linked up from all the hits q100.com to it also?
Host 4
No, but we can easily.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
All right, we'll link up from all the hits q100.com and if you can't remember that, MySpace.com Hoss Birchow is picture, bio, the whole thing up there. Take your Hoss out tonight. We'll expect stories tomorrow.
Hoss (Guest/Newcomer)
Dude, good.
Host 1 (Possibly Burt)
Hey, the Birch Show.
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Date: November 18, 2025
Episode Overview:
In this classic, laugh-filled Bert Show segment, the crew welcomes Hoss—a recent transplant from Charlotte, North Carolina—to Atlanta. The group dives into Hoss’s struggles as a newcomer, including his search for local hangouts and new friends, using his freshly created MySpace page as a launching pad for social connections. The show explores themes of moving, making friends as an adult, quirky personal preferences, and the role that community radio and social media play in easing relocation blues.
Main Theme:
Helping Hoss, an affable newcomer, get acclimated to Atlanta—both socially and geographically—while spotlighting his quest for genuine human connection (and decent dive bars) via the magic of MySpace and the supportive Bert Show community.
Purpose:
Host 1 on Hoss’s Adjustment Anxiety:
“I'm a little concerned about you. I'm not gonna lie. ...to me it's like a guy so intimidated that he doesn't leave his hotel room for two weeks...playing Madden all day.” (01:38–01:40)
Hoss on His Bar Vibe:
“Like almost condemned type of places.” (03:42)
Reading from MySpace Bio:
“My usual night out consists of going out to dinner, then back to my place for some pre-partying and then out to the bars...If you're still wondering what I'm all about, then below is a little list of things that I love and slash hate.” – Hoss (06:46–07:46)
Hoss’s Loves: “UNC Tar Heel basketball, the Braves, Carolina Panthers...girls, captain and cokes, Miller Lite, ESPN, Wendy’s, Madden 2007…”
Hoss’s Hates: “Duke University, the Falcons, complainers, snakes, traffic, and mean people at the drive thru at 2am when you're drunk.”
Open-Minded Dating:
“No. Two legs, two arms, boobs, yeah, everything. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not too particular...” – Hoss (10:40)
Host Teasing:
“Please be his friend. It is really pretty pathetic. When you start your page, there's only two people on it.” – Host 1 (11:59)
Playful Gossip:
"I already know that there’s one woman in the office that is on your jock." – Host 1 (05:12)
"Plus she's not giving it up till she's married, so." – Host 4 (12:14)
For anyone new to Atlanta—or just looking for a laugh—this is a classic Bert Show vibe: real, funny, and full of heart.