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Host (possibly Birch)
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Host (possibly Birch)
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Host (possibly Birch)
This is the Birch show, dude.
Jen
Tell us all about la.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yes, well, I'll tell you. Cause there's kind of two parts to the story. That city comes alive during Grammy weekend. So I'll let you know. Jen, I'll fill in some parts of the Grammy related story. Like when I pulled up to the hotel bumping into Justin Bieber.
Jen
Really?
Host (possibly Birch)
All right, what's going on here? And then like three hours later, riding the elevator with T Pain. It was like Atlanta. Some sort of unofficial Atlanta headquarters. Which I think Jen will tell you, as far as the Grammys go, it's really makes you feel really good. A lot of pride.
Jen
I tweeted that last night. I said I'm constantly reminded when you watch award shows of how influential Atlanta is in the music industry because every other performer or every other presenter is from Atlanta.
Host (possibly Birch)
So I'm going to leave that those parts of the story out. I'm also going to leave out how I could all the hits.
Commercial Announcer
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Jen
Yeah. Wow. You could do that with your voice. That's impressive.
Host (possibly Birch)
All right, you want me to wrap it up?
Co-host or Guest
The music starts.
Host (possibly Birch)
Tell us your story. You got 40 seconds. And then I'm also going to leave out how I definitely cannot be a paparazzi because celebrities could come and sit on my face and I would have no idea who that is right there. And Jessica, for whatever she was like, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. And nails every single one of them. So that will be left out of the story. And I'll just tell you how cool this experience was. Like, I told you beforehand that even if nothing came of this and by this, a couple years ago, I submitted some ideas to a friend of a friend of a friend who was in LA and said, look, I have some TV show ide. It was two years ago. And they got circulated around to the point where before the holidays, I got a call back from somebody who wanted to start talking about those ideas and wanted me to come out for meetings and to meet some people this past weekend. So that's why I was in la. And I arrived Thursday night, checked into the hotel. Everything was cool. It was, like I said, running into all those superstars was definitely a high. I mean, they put us up at the right hotel, so that was cool. So you're feeling a little Ari Gold, feeling a little entourage staying at that hotel. Definitely underdressed. And Friday, I was oddly at ease. Everything was gonna happen on Friday. And they also told me to keep Saturday clear. It turns out we didn't need it, but everything was gonna happen on Friday.
Jen
Is that a bad sign that you didn't need Saturday also, like, on the air? We're on the air.
Host (possibly Birch)
Oh, no, it's okay. So Friday, I thought Thursday night, like, I would be really sick and go to bed early and, like, stressed and whatever. And for whatever reason, I think it's because when we talked about it on Wednesday, when I said out loud, I don't care what happens, just this experience is really cool. And as the experience was happening, it was really cool. Like, it didn't matter. It would have been great, however it turned out. So we went out Thursday night, Jessica and I did, had dinner, came back to the hotel, hung out in the lobby for a little while, and Watched the People show and Friday morning rolls around. I went for a walk with Jessica and we found a breakfast place and then she went off shopping and I went back and this guy comes to the hotel who this is not the guy that I've been talking with and emailing and, and calling. This is a guy who works with him and he basically explains the whole process. And I had it a little bit twisted before I went there, but they have to be very careful in terms of creative and writing and development because there's so many unions and so many people who protect people that they can't really do anything official in terms of creating a show until all these T's have been crossed and I's have been dotted. Like even to have conversations about potential ideas. If something came out of that and there was a non union writer in there who helped create it, then the union could get mad that the non union writer was involved in the process and it becomes this big, huge ordeal. So he goes, he says, there might be times when we're hanging out, talking today where things stop. I was like, okay, cool. So we had a. Cool.
Co-host or Guest
So a lot of politics involved.
Host (possibly Birch)
A lot of politics. We had a cool hour. And then we go to this all glass building, walk into a room with.
Co-host or Guest
What is it about an all glass building that makes it seem like it's more corporate or more official, fancy, contemporary.
Jen
There must be something.
Host (possibly Birch)
And went there, you know, in a town car. Like he started, he goes, I'll meet you at the hotel. So we had a little conversation there. Town car down to all glass building. It's exactly as you would, would imagine, a Hollywood meeting room. Ari Gold entourage.
Jen
So you can see the city of LA around you and stuff.
Co-host or Guest
Is it a big 24 seat conference table and you're at the very end
Host (possibly Birch)
of it, There was. You get off the elevator into the lobby and then there's the far too attractive receptionist with the little bluetooth in, you know what I mean? Like Very.
Jen
Just future actresses, not receptionists. That's right.
Host (possibly Birch)
I mean, I almost, if we had bigger budgets, would say that somebody was Jack. Like somebody in this. Because then there was the gay guy assistant, little flitting around.
Jen
It was just like entourage, very upset,
Host (possibly Birch)
everybody talking on their bluetooths. It was really like stereotypical. I'm like, somebody's jacking with me. So. But then off to the side there was like the conference room. Off to the right side there was like a conference room that did look over. I want to say it's Culver City. I don't know L. A enough. But now it wasn't downtown L. A, but I think it was Culver City off to one side and then to the, to the right. You go down halls and it's all very glass wall, like big city, Louisiana law type things where everybody's office has a big glass window.
Co-host or Guest
Were there pictures of like shows that they've developed before?
Host (possibly Birch)
No, Very stark.
Co-host or Guest
Really?
Host (possibly Birch)
Okay, yes. And then I started to get. That started to weird me out because I'm dressed. Jeans shirt, blazer, hillbilly.
Jen
No, I'm just kidding.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah, totally. I'm the kid who's there and everybody else seriously is doing the, I'm guessing Armani or Prada suit, white shirt underneath, no tie, Bluetooth in two BlackBerries on their belt. And I'm like. So I started to get intimidated by the physical presence of where I was until we turn the corner and I meet the guy that I've been email with and talking with and he was wearing jeans, like a vintage looking T shirt thing. He had a ball cap, turn around backwards. I'm guessing he was five years younger than I was. And his office was full. Like he had those, they're not beanbags, love sack chairs. Like those big things, like those are awesome. In the corner of his office. He had, I mean he was totally. And he, you know, come on. He had a table in his office. He just finished breakfast, like from McDonald's, which, this is funny, it was a McDonald's like egg sandwich thing, whatever, but it was on a ceramic plate. That's fantastic. So my guess is, or maybe it was Burger King. It was some fast food sandwich on a biscuit with like little tater tot looking hash brownies.
Co-host or Guest
So they took it out of the bag and put it on a fancy plate for him.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yes. And there was a knife and fork there unused. But I just thought of how L. A that is to have. Yes, it's L. A. So during the morning we just. He went over the process again and he just said, look, all I want to do is talk to you about your ideas. He says, this is the deal. He goes, I want to bring new shows to production there in Los Angeles. He goes, there's a lot of creative people because there's a lot of people that I currently work with. There's a lot of stuff happening in la. The problem is, for as big of a city as it is and for everybody who comes from everywhere else, it's a vacuum. And it's the same ideas that just spin around there, you know, a hundred Times. And he goes, I'm just looking to bring new people in, right? So I just want to talk to you and get a vibe for you. I like the stuff that you wrote. He goes, I want to know about you.
Jen
You want to hear one on one at this point?
Host (possibly Birch)
Uh huh. There's people in and out.
Co-host or Guest
That's so cool though.
Host (possibly Birch)
There is. I always thought for whatever reason on the West Wing, it was cool when the little assistant would bring the president of a piece of paper and then he would read it and either set it down or act on it. Like that was happening during this conversation. People were bringing stuff in to this guy. He's a development guy, that's what he does. He does have a bunch of shows under his belt. Some I recognize, some I didn't. Some reality type stuff that he's, he's worked with.
Jen
Did he like any one of your shows more than the others?
Host (possibly Birch)
We were not even talking about specific ideas. He just wants to know about me, about what I do, about how I came about it. So we have this thing, you know, this conversation, everything's cool. And then he says, all right, go have lunch. And then when you come back, I'm gonna put you in a room with some creative people. And so they had lunch for us at the Ivy.
Jen
Nice.
Host (possibly Birch)
I got to meet Jessica.
Co-host or Guest
Wait.
Host (possibly Birch)
Which he goes, this is totally cheesy and everybody from LA is gonna make fun of you for it. But you mentioned that you hadn't had lunch at the Ivy. I've got a table for you at the Ivy. That's awesome.
Jen
It's the place where all the paparazzi and all the celebrities go to be seen.
Host (possibly Birch)
And funny thing about that is I saw Nene from Real Housewives. I was the only celebrity there can't
Jen
get away from Atlanta.
Host (possibly Birch)
So that was the lunch. And then after lunch we went back and he just introduced me to people on his creative team. And that's when we specifically went through the shows and we just had conversations about all of the shows and we had conversations about the specifics and lots of conversations about as we would flesh out an idea. We spent more time on one of the shows than any other. So as we talked about the idea and expanded upon the story, he wanted to know who they wanted to know who certain people were based on. Like, is this based on a real person? Is this a blending of real people they talked about? Because I brought up the. I have a show that's kind of loosely based on our radio show or an idea based on that. And he said, you know, those are really great ideas. And he pointed a list of ideas that I had and it was like 20, 26 ideas, 25 ideas. And this was kind of shocking. He goes, you look at that list and you think you've got 25 shows. He goes, we would have to put three or four of those ideas in each show. You've just written a third of a season, really, so you're not. So I'm like, look at this, a whole season of shows, easy. And this is only from off the top of my head. He's like, and by the time we get done with it, we'll only keep 20% of what that is. He said, so there's a lot. He goes, there's a lot more that goes into it than that. So we had meetings all afternoon and just talked about the creative process in creating the shows and it ended with him. The guy that I've been meeting with, the development guy, the president of the company, comes back in at the end. I don't know where he was going, but he was completely dressed differently. Like, no, more casual guy. Full on.
Jen
Meeting a studio head or something.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yes, totally different dude, almost to the point where I didn't recognize him. And he came in and all the guys that I was meeting with and the girl, one girl, they in front of me were very complimentary about my ideas and about my input and how they were excited to work with me. A couple of them have followed up with emails to me, but the decision is ultimately this dude's.
Co-host or Guest
Oh, wow.
Jen
So what's the next step in the whole thing?
Host (possibly Birch)
He's gonna call you, I guess.
Co-host or Guest
I can't imagine all this effort and money spent and something not coming from it. You know what I mean?
Jen
Yeah. They must have been somewhat serious about they saw something in you to bring you on out to la.
Co-host or Guest
That's awesome.
Host (possibly Birch)
So is it cool? He may have just been trying to invigor, you know, I went through all the scenarios. What if he's just trying to invigorate the people he works with or threaten them and show them that there are other creative people out there, this, that or whatever. But the end of the meeting was like a handshake. And then I asked him about tomorrow and they were like, nah, I want to give. He goes, tomorrow is only if today didn't go well,
Commercial Voice
that's great.
Co-host or Guest
Well, I guess it's also a sign of patience because you talked about how it took a couple years to get to this point, so we'll see how long. But I surely something's gonna come from this.
Host (possibly Birch)
Yeah. So it was. I mean, it was stereotypical and intimidating. And the creative process in LA is so much different than what we do here, but also slower.
Jen
Is that right?
Host (possibly Birch)
But also, that's not possible. So many similarities.
Jen
That's just not possible.
Host (possibly Birch)
And it was just, it was a cool. It was a totally cool experience. And now I'm back into the hurry up and wait mode again.
Co-host or Guest
Congratulations.
Host (possibly Birch)
Keep my fingers crossed and stay in touch with this guy and we'll see what happens.
Jen
Great. What a great trip.
Co-host or Guest
I knew Jeff Dollar before. He was a big Hollywood celeb.
Host (possibly Birch)
I almost came in this morning wearing sunglasses.
Commercial Voice
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Host (possibly Birch)
It's the virt show.
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Host (possibly Birch)
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In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into the details of Jeff’s recent trip to Los Angeles, which coincided with Grammy weekend. The main storyline centers on Jeff’s behind-the-scenes experience pitching TV show ideas to Hollywood executives. Along the way, Jeff shares entertaining anecdotes about celebrity sightings, the unique atmosphere of LA during awards season, and the nerve-wracking (yet exciting) culture of television development.
[01:34] Jeff describes the vibrant buzz in LA during Grammy weekend, saying:
“That city comes alive during Grammy weekend … like when I pulled up to the hotel bumping into Justin Bieber. And then like three hours later, riding the elevator with T Pain.”—Host ([01:34])
Both Jeff and Jen remark on Atlanta’s musical influence at the Grammys:
“I’m constantly reminded … how influential Atlanta is in the music industry because every other performer or presenter is from Atlanta.”—Jen ([02:12])
Jeff confesses he’s not cut out for paparazzi work, self-deprecatingly admitting:
“I definitely cannot be a paparazzi because celebrities could come and sit on my face and I would have no idea who that is right there.” ([03:38])
Jen highlights that Jessica, Jeff’s companion, is an ace at spotting stars.
The core reason for Jeff’s LA trip was to attend meetings about TV show ideas he’d submitted years earlier:
“A couple years ago, I submitted some ideas to a friend of a friend… they got circulated around… then before the holidays I got a call back to come out for meetings.”—Host ([03:42])
Jeff stresses the surreal nature of the moment:
“Even if nothing came of this … just this experience is really cool.” ([04:16])
Jeff describes the complex creative process, particularly around unions and writing credits:
“They have to be very careful … because there’s so many unions and so many people who protect people that they can’t really do anything official in terms of creating a show until all these T’s have been crossed and I’s have been dotted.” ([05:21])
He was cautioned that at times, conversations might need to pause due to these protocols.
Jeff narrates his entrance into the all-glass corporate building:
“You get off the elevator into the lobby and then there’s the far too attractive receptionist with the little bluetooth in… it was really like stereotypical. I’m like, somebody’s jacking with me.” ([06:38])
First impressions were intimidating—Jeff was underdressed compared to the parade of Armani and Prada suits:
“I’m the kid who’s there and everybody else seriously is doing the … Armani or Prada suit… and I’m like…” ([08:01])
He relaxes when he meets the main exec, who turns out to be younger, wearing jeans, a vintage t-shirt, and a backwards cap—with a fast food breakfast plated on real china:
“That’s fantastic… how LA is it to have a McDonald’s [egg sandwich] on a ceramic plate?” ([09:02])
“He just wants to know about me, about what I do, about how I came about it… all I want to do is talk to you about your ideas.” ([10:41])
“Which he goes, this is totally cheesy … you mentioned that you hadn’t had lunch at the Ivy. I’ve got a table for you… I saw Nene from Real Housewives, the only celebrity there.” ([11:04])
Afternoon meetings with the creative team focus on workshopping Jeff’s story ideas:
“They pointed at a list of ideas that I had—20, 26 ideas, 25 ideas … and this was kind of shocking. He goes, you look at that list and you think you’ve got 25 shows, we would have to put three or four of those ideas in each show… you’ve just written a third of a season, really.” ([12:37])
Realization: what feels like a lot of material may really just be the start.
The team offers encouragement, but ultimate decisions lie with the company president, who eventually joins the meeting:
Jeff contemplates possible motives:
“What if he’s just trying to invigorate the people he works with or threaten them and show them that there are other creative people out there…” ([13:54])
Next steps:
“The end of the meeting was like a handshake. And then I asked him about tomorrow and they were like, nah, I want to give. He goes, tomorrow is only if today didn’t go well.” ([14:13])
Jeff enters “hurry up and wait” mode, fingers crossed for the outcome.
Jeff’s Hollywood Culture Shock:
“It was stereotypical and intimidating. And the creative process in LA is so much different than what we do here, but also slower.” ([14:21])
Hopeful Takeaway:
“It was just, it was a cool. It was a totally cool experience. And now I’m back into the hurry up and wait mode again.” ([14:40])
Closing banter:
“I knew Jeff Dollar before he was a big Hollywood celeb.” ([14:50])
“I almost came in this morning wearing sunglasses.” ([14:53])
The episode balances genuine excitement, humor, and behind-the-curtain revelations about the challenges of breaking into Hollywood. Jeff provides a grounded, self-effacing account that demystifies the process of pitching television ideas and spotlights both the daunting and exhilarating aspects of the TV industry. For listeners, it’s an entertaining, relatable, and insightful peek into the world of showbiz hustle—served up with the Bert Show’s trademark playful camaraderie.