Vault: How did the LIVE show séance go?

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: How did the LIVE show séance go?

Air date: May 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a replay and deep-dive into "Friday's haunted broadcast": a live, in-studio séance meant to be the centerpiece of the Bert Show’s Halloween programming. Instead of producing ghostly chills or spiritual revelations, the event turned into an unintentionally hilarious—and, by the cast’s own admission, cringe-worthy—moment of live radio. The team reflects on the séance, the medium’s performance, and reactions, both their own and from listeners, blending skepticism, embarrassment, and their signature humor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Cast’s Reactions to the Séance

• The séance was expected to be a highlight but quickly devolved into what the hosts dubbed "some of the funniest radio we accidentally ever did" (01:08).
• Multiple members express regret or embarrassment about not stopping the segment sooner.
  • “I was kicking him under the table.” (02:04)
  • “You were buying into it.” / “No, I wasn't. I was just trying to be respectful.” (01:25)
  • The group jokes about not wanting to call out the medium mid-session for professionalism’s sake.
• The medium required the group to turn off all lights, using only a candle, which increased the awkwardness and suppressed the hosts' ability to gauge each other's reactions.

Listener Reactions

• Callers were quick to criticize, often with biting humor.
  • “I am so disappointed in that seance. Well, I was expecting something less, you know, less hacky.” (02:59)
  • “You gotta tell them that. A load of rubbish.” (03:18)
  • Listeners noted that the medium didn’t actually change her voice, contrary to what they’d expect from a believable trance or possession.
• One caller speculates the medium was copying another known “spiritual enlightenment” speaker (03:15).

Play-by-Play of the Séance

• The séance features the medium introducing herself as “Little Flower” and channeling a supposed Native American named Yellowtail, whose monologue is filled with vague platitudes and random time-related advice.
  • “I hope that when you go home with your equipment, you will have some ectoplasmic shadowings and some knocks and sounds…” (Spirit Guide, 05:48)
• Cast members humorously dissect moments in real time, questioning linguistic anachronisms (mention of bumper stickers) and the authenticity of the guidance.
  • “I'm a little curious how Yellowtail knows about ectoplasmic activity.” (08:02)
  • “What’s working out at 4?” / “I think it was very symbolic, yes.” (07:41)
• The medium’s other characters, such as Dr. Michelson, deliver rambling motivational lectures rather than eerie or spiritual content, to the hosts’ increasing confusion.
  • “She’s a little like Kevin Costner when he tries to do an accent in a movie where he can’t pull it off the entire movie.” (Co-host 1, 10:20)

Most Memorable/Cringeworthy Moments

• The “Yellowtail” segment is widely panned both by the team and callers for its clichés and mumbo-jumbo.
• Cast and callers alike express disbelief at the séance’s randomness and lack of supernatural substance.
• Humorous speculation and jeering persist throughout:
  • “Where in the world did y' all find this floozy Tracy?” (Caller, 14:30)
  • “I tried to talk Tracy out of this girl, and Tracy’s like, ‘she’s gonna be good.’” (Co-host 3, 14:42)
• References to odd spiritual claims:
  • Spirit detected stroking a co-host’s hair: “She likes your hair. She thinks you have pretty hair.” (Medium/Little Flower, 13:02)
  • “There was a person that died in this room… It's been cleansed.” (Medium, 13:36)
• At the end, the cast jokes about whether the medium’s segment was “bad enough to be entertaining” (16:18).

Self-Deprecation and End Reflection

• The hosts reflect on their embarrassment, but also recognize the comedic and entertainment value in the segment’s “trainwreck” quality.
  • “I'm embarrassed this happened on something I'm a part of.” (14:07)
  • “At least it was bad enough to be entertaining, bad enough to be good.” (Medium, 16:18)
• Tracy, the staff member who brought in the medium, briefly defends her choice but admits regret.
  • “Let me say I'm humiliated… I have no defense.” (Medium/Tracy, 16:04)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the séance’s awkwardness:
  • “I was literally kicking you under the table.” (Co-host 1, 02:04)
• On the medium’s performance:
  • “She made us turn off all the lights and she was lit up by one candle and I couldn't make eye contact with anyone.” (Co-host 3, 01:46)
• Listener verdict:
  • “A load of rubbish.” (Caller, 03:18)
• On spiritual accuracy:
  • “I want to know how the Indian Yellowtail or whatever knew what ectoplasm was.” (Caller, 03:04)
• On production value:
  • “And we still overpaid.” (Co-host 1, 08:24)
• Comic exaggeration:
  • “She’s a little like Kevin Costner when he tries to do an accent in a movie…” (Co-host 1, 10:20)
• On spiritual crossover advice:
  • “If things not work out by this afternoon at 4:00. Clock. Don't think it can't work out by 6.” (Spirit Guide as Yellowtail, 07:29)
• On the payoff:
  • “At least it was bad enough to be entertaining. Bad enough to be good.” (Medium/Little Flower, 16:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:08] – Cast begins reflecting on the live show and their disappointment
• [02:59] – Callers deliver real-time reactions and skepticism
• [04:49] – First re-air of the medium’s “Little Flower” and “Yellowtail” voices
• [07:38] – Crew questions and explains Yellowtail’s advice
• [08:28] – Hilarity as payment for the séance is revealed: “Zero... and we still overpaid.”
• [10:20] – Co-host likens the medium’s accent skills to Kevin Costner’s
• [13:02] – Medium claims a spirit likes the host’s hair
• [13:19] – Medium says the house feels “peaceful”
• [14:30] – Callers mock the choice of séance guest (“floozy Tracy”)
• [15:09] – Medium cites Oregon Trail-style ghost grimly
• [16:04] – Tracy/Medium offers a sheepish apology and acknowledges misfire

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Conclusion

This episode is a classic Bert Show blend of playful self-deprecation and group therapy, dissecting a live event gone spectacularly off-script. Instead of spooks, the team serves up laughter and camaraderie as they turn a haunted-house flop into memorable—and memeable—radio. The cast and their callers keep the tone light, wry, and real, making this a must-listen (or must-read) for fans of comedy born from chaos.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Caller]

Get it?

[Co-host 1]

The bird show. We're gonna replay some of Friday's haunted broadcasts. Mostly for you, but some for us. Because the seance was supposed to be the highlight of that haunted broadcast for us on Friday and it turned out to be some of the funniest radio we accidentally ever did. It's horrible.

[Co-host 2]

It was such a joke.

[Co-host 1]

It was awful.

[Co-host 2]

I was so disappointed.

[Co-host 3]

And you were buying into it.

[Co-host 2]

No, I wasn't. I was just trying to be respectful.

[Co-host 3]

Of what?

[Co-host 2]

In the moment.

[Co-host 3]

Of who? The woman. The woman who was ruining our broadcast.

[Co-host 1]

Well, that's. I felt the same way. Like, you don't want to call her out in the middle of it. I understand.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, like, I wish I did. I so regret not three minutes into it. Raise it. Because after she walked out. And what time are we playing it?

[Co-host 1]

6:15.

[Co-host 3]

Well, we'll get into it more then. But after she walked out and everybody. Because the thing is, she made us turn off all the lights and she was lit up by one candle and I couldn't make up my guy contact with anyone. And I will not do something like that unless I got a partner. I'm not gonna be the only person to go, dude, this is bs.

[Co-host 1]

I was kicking him under the table. I was literally kicking you under the table.

[Co-host 3]

Oh really? Because I thought that was the Indian

[Co-host 4]

fellow that she called Yellow Tail.

[Co-host 3]

Yellow tail Sushi roll. And then you look over at Jen Hobby and she has her eyes closed

[Co-host 2]

I had my eyes closed so I wouldn't laugh in her face because she could see I was sitting right across from her. And I thought, I'm gonna crack up laughing. And I could hear Wendy kind of shifting in her chair a little bit. And I thought, okay, if Wendy loses it, I'm gonna totally lose it, and then we're gonna lose it together, and we're not gonna be able to stop. So I was like, okay, close your eyes so you just don't laugh and, like, block out everything else.

[Co-host 3]

It's probably gonna pick up the sound of me writing burnt notes going, this is ruining our whole show.

[Co-host 1]

It actually might have made the whole show.

[Co-host 2]

It's a joke.

[Co-host 1]

This was. Josh was in studio here, and listeners were calling right after the seance. I haven't heard these yet, but this was their reaction.

[Caller]

I am so disappointed in that seance. Well, I was expecting something less, you know, less hacky. I want to know how the Indian Yellowtail or whatever knew what ectoplasm was. I was just gonna say, it's amazing

[Co-host 1]

how educated the Yellowtail was.

[Caller]

I wanted to let everybody know that I have been in a seance before, and when the spirits do come upon you, your voice changes completely. It doesn't sound like you at all. Hers didn't change at all. Hers stayed the same. She just altered her voice a little bit, but you could still tell it was her. I just want to say that was a load of rubbish. You gotta tell them that. A load of rubbish. Yes. I just wanted to let you guys know I came in on the middle of the seance thing, and I heard the lady who was speaking who's supposed to be doing the seance, and she was copying a woman that does, like, spiritual enlightenment CDs and does, like, seminars. She was. She was actually copying that woman. I mean, she doesn't do seances, but the tone of her voice and her breathing and the words she was using, she was copying someone. I just want to know why that woman doing the seance thing. I guess whoever the doctor was supposed to be when he died, how come they had bumpers? They didn't have no bumper stickers back in during that time.

[Co-host 3]

So random man, if you didn't hear

[Co-host 4]

it, I still haven't heard it. Oh, so.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, you were out of the room.

[Co-host 2]

We got to keep her mic up

[Co-host 4]

while we replay it so we can get voice's reaction. I have not heard this yet.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, this is beautiful. This is how the seance went down on Friday.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

Hi, everybody. This is Little Flower and I'm her joy guide and it's really nice to be here in this way. And I'm usually the gatekeeper for her. And I just want to say this is really nice being in here, but I'm going to step back and let some of the masculine voices come in and change the energy. Okay, just a minute.

[Spirit Guide]

Okay.

[Co-host 1]

Okay. So that's our initial. That's the first voice that we all hear.

[Co-host 4]

Now, I've never taken part in a single house before, so I assume, you know, I mean, because like a real seance. How would the voice change? I mean, I don't know, how would

[Co-host 2]

the voice come in? Like without even, like without even calling on them? Like, there was no prayer, there was no call to them, there was nothing. All of a sudden she just kicks into Mickey Mouse.

[Co-host 1]

So I'm looking at Jeff now. Jeff and I are close enough to each other where we could see each other. And I'm looking at him like, is this real? And then a little panic starts coming over me also. Like, do we stop this immediately? Because it seems like it's such a sham right off the bat.

[Co-host 3]

Right?

[Spirit Guide]

Hello, this is Yellowtail. I live here in this house. I come in to meet all of you tonight. I hope that when you go home with your equipment, you will have some ectoplasmic shadowings and some knocks and sounds. I work very hard to make this happen for you tonight. You know, this place is very sacred. Many, many places around here have wonderful healing waters. Many come here for many years for this healing water. We all need healing. We come to you from the spirit world to bring this healing energy into this home now. And to all those who would listen to raise a vibration, a sacred holy time this Halloween and All Saints day, time to give thanks for the time of the great harvest is here. A time of plenty and blessings for all. We want you to know we bring blessings into this house. There's no need to fear. Calm, peaceful, gentle energy. That is what we wish to impart. But come and see the springs. You come drink them. You refresh yourself, educate. We are here to educate peoples. To know that we see you as our brethren. Nothing in spittle it or separate in spirit world. We bring joy, we bring laughter. We want you to be happy you brought laughter. And to know if things not work out by this afternoon at 4:00'. Clock. Don't think it can't work out by 6. You be.

[Co-host 1]

What does that mean?

[Co-host 4]

I don't even get what she's talking about.

[Caller]

Nothing makes sense.

[Co-host 1]

What's working out at 4.

[Co-host 4]

I'm starting to feel like I don't know. Well, I mean, I think what Yellowtail was trying to embark upon us all is that if you. If the goal is not. If your goals are not set by a certain time, don't worry that they will eventually come to come to you.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, so it was more of a symbolic.

[Co-host 4]

I think it was very symbolic, yes.

[Co-host 1]

And I am a little curious how Yellowtail knows about ectoplasmic activity.

[Co-host 4]

And 4:00pm And 6:00pm sure.

[Co-host 1]

Hey, Susan. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

How are you guys?

[Co-host 2]

Embarrassed.

[Caller]

I love this show. I love you guys so much. And I'm listening to this, and I'm. I know y' all can't probably tell me exactly, but I'm just sitting here wondering, how much did y' all pay for this?

[Co-host 1]

Oh, we can tell you exactly how much we paid.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Co-host 1]

Zero.

[Caller]

There you go. Okay.

[Co-host 1]

And we still overpaid.

[Spirit Guide]

Ever mindful of our presence, for we love you. When we come to bring this blessing into this home, I bid you a whole. Good evening. This is Dr. Michelson, and I'm her doctor teacher. For those of you that are sitting here this evening and working on your abilities and trance and seance in the spirit world, there are many different things that transpire in a seance. What we wish to impart is education and knowledge that through meditation and prayer, that wherever you travel or go, that your home is a very sacred place. When spirit enters into or you feel the presence in a house like this, which is old, you can have the ability to invoke only the very best and highest. There's nothing to be fearful of. As she spoke earlier in her presentation, there are some places where the people, we consider them to be ignorant or negative, as you would say, draw upon them lower astral entities, and they are drawn to people in the drunken state. That is why in a seance, we will not allow anyone to come that has been drinking or heavily medicated because we want the best and highest for the energy of the group. There are certain immutable laws that we will not accept any other way. So in your own consciousness, you have the ability to change people. You know, all we want from you is to be happy and to help. You know that she's a little like

[Co-host 1]

Kevin Costner when he tries to do an accent in a movie where he. He can't pull it off the entire movie.

[Co-host 3]

You know, I don't even remember the stuff that she's saying right now.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, she lost me.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, I must have been Also in a trance.

[Co-host 1]

Good morning, Stephen. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning, guys. How are y'? All?

[Co-host 1]

Just great.

[Caller]

I am cracking up.

[Co-host 1]

Y' all need to make this chick

[Caller]

like a regular on your show, man.

[Host]

Seriously.

[Co-host 3]

Hell, no. She won't call us back ever. No, no, no.

[Spirit Guide]

Everything starts from within you. You have this knowledge. You have this love and this joy and this energy within you to share with other people. You know, if you really want to be clairvoyant and psychic and attuned to the spirit world, then all you have to do is be at peace with yourself. For if you are, you change the vibrations of all those you come in contact with for the better. You know that saying, that bumper sticker that used to say, contribute globally? Well, start locally. It all starts with you. Tonight is a very profound night as we move forward into Friday, the day of love and joy, and the full moon on Monday. It's a very wonderful time for all of you in this room. You'll find as you leave here from this night and go into this weekend, unusual and unexpected good things will happen to you in your dreams.

[Co-host 1]

Where's the Mickey Mouse book again? Didn't she come back at the end?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Spirit Guide]

Close it out and you'll have a knowing that you did not have before, that something good is about to happen. Share this with others. You have great gifts. Develop them. Read and educate yourself as to the laws of spiritualism, for we are one with you always in thought, word and deed. Nothing is split or separate.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, she pretty much lost us all at this point, like, four minutes ago.

[Co-host 4]

Is she a professor here or something?

[Spirit Guide]

It just sounded like a lecture, trying

[Co-host 4]

to say nice things.

[Spirit Guide]

We come in this night to bring in this knowledge for you and the general public to know that you're not alone and that we do hear your prayers. Keep praying. Pray for this country. Pray for the state. Pray for your fellow man. For nothing is split or separate.

[Co-host 2]

To me, she kind of sounds like, at this point, like a.

[Co-host 1]

Wait, she's breathing.

[Co-host 2]

Unsuccessful.

[Co-host 3]

Hold on, here she comes. Here she comes back.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

This is Little Flower.

[Co-host 1]

She's my favorite.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

So I came back up and kind of lightened the vibration a little bit. Does anybody have any questions they want to ask?

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, how did you get on this broadcast?

[Co-host 2]

Any members of the Dixon family in this room?

[Co-host 3]

Oh, come on.

[Co-host 1]

See, there you go, Jen. You were into it, man. You were into it

[Medium (Little Flower)]

wandering around. And she's all dressed up, and she's sitting over there right behind you. And sometimes this night, you've been feeling someone Touch your hair. It's her. She likes your hair. She thinks you have pretty hair.

[Co-host 3]

I just want to smell your hair. I just want to smell your hair.

[Co-host 1]

Is it safe in this house?

[Medium (Little Flower)]

It is. It's very peaceful.

[Co-host 2]

How are you gonna give me crap?

[Co-host 1]

I'm just following your lead, participating.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

It's a nice energy. All the pretty big trees outside. I really like it. I like sitting on the front porch.

[Co-host 1]

What happened in this room?

[Co-host 3]

Well, you guys got snowed by a medium.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

There's a couple people in here, and at one time, there was a person that died in this room. But it's okay now. It's not a negative, lingering presence anymore. It's been cleansed.

[Co-host 1]

It's been cleansed.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

There is. There's a little boy named William. He's about 5 years old, and he's really cute. He kind of looks like. Well, not like a little Laura Fauntleroy, but close enough. He likes to laugh. He likes to laugh.

[Co-host 3]

Why don't we still listen to.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

He's a very laughing.

[Co-host 3]

I'm embarrassed.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

I'm embarrassed that this happened on something I'm a part of.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

In the attic. There was someone buried up there.

[Co-host 2]

He's torturing you now.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

At one time.

[Co-host 1]

Good morning. Q&A 100.

[Co-host 3]

Yellow. Rob, the spirits got you. Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Jennifer, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Co-host 3]

Hi, Yellowtail.

[Caller]

Hey, man, I just want to know, where in the world did y' all find this floozy Tracy?

[Co-host 3]

Floozy Tracy?

[Co-host 2]

Why are you blaming Tracy? Is it your fault?

[Co-host 3]

No.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, it's Tracy's.

[Co-host 3]

I tried to talk Tracy. I tried to talk her out of this girl, and Tracy's like, she's gonna be good.

[Co-host 1]

She's gonna. You know, she's gonna run in here and defend herself in about six.

[Co-host 3]

No, she's not. She knows she can't. Yeah, she knows.

[Co-host 1]

Good morning, Damon. You're on Q100.

[Co-host 3]

Hi.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning, fellas. How y' all doing? Oh, great, man. Where did y' all find her? She's the biggest croc. And don't play this segment ever again.

[Co-host 1]

I can almost promise you that.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

But it's like he had a sickness, like. Oh, I don't know if it's, like, typhoid fever or pneumonia, but he had on the Oregon trail, and he died in that room.

[Co-host 1]

Now, the only time she did, like, at the very end, somebody asked a question of a spirit, and she did sort of describe the owner's sister, right?

[Co-host 2]

Mm.

[Co-host 3]

She said that the owner's sister had

[Co-host 2]

long, brown, pretty hair.

[Co-host 3]

Like, yeah, brown hair.

[Co-host 1]

But she also says something to the effect of like sometimes you can feel her kiss your cheek or something like that.

[Co-host 4]

That's mean.

[Co-host 1]

I mean, and the owner of the house said, yeah, sometimes she can feel that.

[Co-host 4]

Well, of course, she just had a close person pass away that she was comforted by that. To me, like, that's the rude part is her commenting on the.

[Co-host 3]

Here comes Tracy to defend herself.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

Tracy, before I defend myself, let me say I'm humiliated.

[Spirit Guide]

I have no defense other than.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

I mean, her website says she's been

[Spirit Guide]

on 250 different radio stations, so I

[Medium (Little Flower)]

figured she's gotta be good.

[Co-host 1]

But any repeat radio stations?

[Co-host 4]

251.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

I'm sorry.

[Spirit Guide]

I'm so sorry.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

But at least it was bad enough

[Co-host 3]

to be entertaining, bad enough to be good.

[Spirit Guide]

This is true.

[Medium (Little Flower)]

Hi everybody. This is little Flower and I'm a joy guide. Now, does anybody have any questions they want to ask?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, wtf?

[Co-host 1]

Do you know who the bone belonged to?

[Medium (Little Flower)]

The bone belonged to a man. They're not saying a whole lot from this side, but it belonged to man. That's what they've told me.

[Co-host 3]

Horny man.

[Host]

Okay, this is the bird show.