The Bert Show – "Vault: How Did You Snap On Your Ex?"

Release Date: January 27, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others)
Theme: Honest, real, and outrageously funny stories of listeners (and hosts) revealing the most out-of-character, emotionally-charged things they did in the aftermath of a breakup.

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the wild, sometimes hilarious, often jaw-dropping ways people have "snapped" in response to breakups—moments where ordinary, even-keeled people act entirely out of character when faced with romantic betrayal. Listeners and hosts swap both infamous pop culture examples and personal stories of relationship rage, featuring everything from vengefully cut-up credit cards to viral-worthy acts of petty revenge.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Setting the Scene: Relationship Rage Is Universal (00:00–01:17)

• Hosts introduce the topic: Breakups can make calm people do wild things, referencing the movie “Waiting to Exhale” where Angela Bassett burns her ex's possessions, setting the tone for authentic tales of romantic revenge.
  • Bert (A): “You just turned into a person that you’re normally not.” (00:47)
• Sharing socially “classic” stories: keying cars, destroying clothing, and more as templates for the discussion.

2. Extreme Examples & Listener Participation Call-Out (01:17–03:41)

• True story from Bert: A woman burns all her cheating boyfriend’s vital documents to ensure he thinks of her every time he needs them.
  • Bert (A): “She wanted him to think of her every time he was standing in a line… Because you know how much of a hassle it is to get any of that stuff back.” (01:28)
• News story: A DeKalb County police officer uses law enforcement resources for personal revenge, mailing "homewrecker" flyers to her ex’s new girlfriend's inner circle, complete with Bible verses on adultery.
  • Bert (A): “Her mom got one, her neighbors got one, her former boss got one.” (03:27)
  • Cassie (C): “Jeez. That was methodical rage.” (03:38)

3. Listener Story #1: The Co-Habitation Standoff (03:47–05:56)

• Caller Jen describes her measured, then bold response to her ex moving his girlfriend in while they were still sharing an apartment:
  • She retaliates by moving her own boyfriend in, turning the awkward situation into a standoff.
  • Jen (D): “Just to be spiteful and mean, I wasn't gonna do it.” (05:14)
  • Jen (D): “His girlfriend walked in on us... while the door was wide open and we were screaming at the as loud as we could.” (05:45)
• Laughter as the hosts and Jen acknowledge her role in ‘winning’ (and the situation veering into “Jerry Springer” territory).

4. Listener Story #2: The Vintage T-Shirt Massacre (06:00–07:55)

• A second listener details epic revenge on a lying boyfriend who faked a terminal illness:
  • She’s tipped off by a rival that he’s cheating, not hospitalized.
  • Destroys his valued collection of 300 rare T-shirts and disables his life (deleting phone contacts, spray-painting his car with pink and crude images).
  • Caller: “I went through all of his cars. I cut them up with scissors. I deleted all the entries in his cell phone... and my brothers... helped me spray paint it pink and then spray paint male genitalia on top of it.” (07:13–07:49)
  • Cassie (C): “Dive into vandalism with your family members.” (08:01)

5. Listener Story #3: Credit Score Sabotage (08:04–08:34)

• Another caller shares how she opened several credit cards in her cheating ex’s name to tank his score.
  • Caller: “Within two months, he had like three credit cards open in his name... What can you do?” (08:26–08:30)
  • Hosts laugh off her “passive aggressive” approach.
  • Bert (A): “You can hear the remorse.” (08:32)

6. Listener Story #4: STD Rumor Warfare (08:38–09:48)

• Caller Angel admits to calling her ex’s mom after catching him cheating, then sparking a rumor he had syphilis—enlisting his own sister to ensure it stuck.
  • Caller Angel (D): “His sister continues to tell everyone that he has syphilis.” (09:47)
  • Bert (A): “Even a rumor of an STD is going to keep you out of the dating pool pretty well.” (09:48)
  • Hosts reminisce on the reputation-ruining power of high-school rumors.

7. Listener Story #5: Three-Times-Over Revenge (10:02–10:36)

• Caller Valerie tells how, in the heat of confronting her cheating husband, she accidentally(?) runs over his foot with her car—three times—while trying to leave the driveway, also damaging her house’s patio.
  • Bert (A): “It was all an accident?” (10:28)
  • Cassie (C): “Reverse, drive. Reverse, drive. I couldn’t figure out which way I wanted to go.” (10:32)

8. Listener Story #6: The Engagement Ring Switcheroo (10:38–11:30)

• Caller Amanda: After her ex-fiancé cheats with a friend and demands the ring back, she has the diamond replaced with cubic zirconia.
  • Amanda (D): “Before I gave it back to him, I had the diamond switched out for a cubic zirconian and gave it back to him. And he is now engaged to somebody else. And she is wearing that ring.” (11:10)
  • Cassie (C): “That’s beautiful.” (11:13)
  • Bert (A): “That needs to be applauded. Well played. Checkmate.” (11:15)
  • Hosts praise the brilliance and non-violent creativity of this move.

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “You could just do stupid stuff like that.” – Bert (A), 02:09
• “That was methodical rage.” – Cassie (C), 03:38
• “Just to be spiteful and mean, I wasn't gonna do it.” – Jen (D), 05:14
• “I went…cut them up with scissors…deleted all the entries in his cell phone…my brothers…helped me spray paint it pink…” – Caller, 07:13–07:49
• “Who remembers phone numbers, right?” – Caller, 07:23
• “Within two months, he had like three credit cards open in his name... What can you do?” – Caller, 08:26–08:30
• “His sister continues to tell everyone that he has syphilis.” – Angel (D), 09:47
• “Even a rumor of an STD is going to keep you out of the dating pool pretty well.” – Bert (A), 09:48
• “Reverse drive. Reverse drive. I couldn't figure out which way I wanted to go.” – Cassie (C), 10:32
• “Before I gave it back to him, I had the diamond switched out for a cubic zirconian and gave it back to him. And he is now engaged to somebody else.” – Amanda (D), 11:10

Tone & Style

The episode stays true to The Bert Show's trademark—fun, candid, and a bit mischievous. The hosts are playful but empathetic, often shocked but always supportive of callers’ resourcefulness. They approach these dramatic (sometimes destructive) stories with an eye-roll, a laugh, and admiration for creative (and mostly nonviolent) payback.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:17: Intro & Movie Reference
• 01:17–03:41: Extreme Examples, Police Officer Story
• 03:47–05:56: Caller Jen – Apartment Standoff
• 06:00–07:55: Vintage T-Shirt/Cheating Ex Story
• 08:04–08:34: Credit Score Sabotage
• 08:38–09:48: STD Rumor Warfare
• 10:02–10:36: Three-Times-Over Car Revenge
• 10:38–11:30: The Diamond Heist/Engagement Ring Switch

Conclusion

“Vault: How Did You Snap On Your Ex?" is a whirlwind blend of cathartic confession, comedic revenge, and the solidarity of knowing everyone, even the calmest among us, can break character when proven love goes awry. The stories range from petty to extreme, but every caller reminds listeners: When relationships end badly, you’re never alone in your crazy—and sometimes, a little creativity goes a long way.