Vault: How Did You Snap On Your Ex?

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: How Did You Snap On Your Ex?"

Release Date: January 27, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others)
Theme: Honest, real, and outrageously funny stories of listeners (and hosts) revealing the most out-of-character, emotionally-charged things they did in the aftermath of a breakup.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the wild, sometimes hilarious, often jaw-dropping ways people have "snapped" in response to breakups—moments where ordinary, even-keeled people act entirely out of character when faced with romantic betrayal. Listeners and hosts swap both infamous pop culture examples and personal stories of relationship rage, featuring everything from vengefully cut-up credit cards to viral-worthy acts of petty revenge.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Setting the Scene: Relationship Rage Is Universal (00:00–01:17)

• Hosts introduce the topic: Breakups can make calm people do wild things, referencing the movie “Waiting to Exhale” where Angela Bassett burns her ex's possessions, setting the tone for authentic tales of romantic revenge.
  • Bert (A): “You just turned into a person that you’re normally not.” (00:47)
• Sharing socially “classic” stories: keying cars, destroying clothing, and more as templates for the discussion.

2. Extreme Examples & Listener Participation Call-Out (01:17–03:41)

• True story from Bert: A woman burns all her cheating boyfriend’s vital documents to ensure he thinks of her every time he needs them.
  • Bert (A): “She wanted him to think of her every time he was standing in a line… Because you know how much of a hassle it is to get any of that stuff back.” (01:28)
• News story: A DeKalb County police officer uses law enforcement resources for personal revenge, mailing "homewrecker" flyers to her ex’s new girlfriend's inner circle, complete with Bible verses on adultery.
  • Bert (A): “Her mom got one, her neighbors got one, her former boss got one.” (03:27)
  • Cassie (C): “Jeez. That was methodical rage.” (03:38)

3. Listener Story #1: The Co-Habitation Standoff (03:47–05:56)

• Caller Jen describes her measured, then bold response to her ex moving his girlfriend in while they were still sharing an apartment:
  • She retaliates by moving her own boyfriend in, turning the awkward situation into a standoff.
  • Jen (D): “Just to be spiteful and mean, I wasn't gonna do it.” (05:14)
  • Jen (D): “His girlfriend walked in on us... while the door was wide open and we were screaming at the as loud as we could.” (05:45)
• Laughter as the hosts and Jen acknowledge her role in ‘winning’ (and the situation veering into “Jerry Springer” territory).

4. Listener Story #2: The Vintage T-Shirt Massacre (06:00–07:55)

• A second listener details epic revenge on a lying boyfriend who faked a terminal illness:
  • She’s tipped off by a rival that he’s cheating, not hospitalized.
  • Destroys his valued collection of 300 rare T-shirts and disables his life (deleting phone contacts, spray-painting his car with pink and crude images).
  • Caller: “I went through all of his cars. I cut them up with scissors. I deleted all the entries in his cell phone... and my brothers... helped me spray paint it pink and then spray paint male genitalia on top of it.” (07:13–07:49)
  • Cassie (C): “Dive into vandalism with your family members.” (08:01)

5. Listener Story #3: Credit Score Sabotage (08:04–08:34)

• Another caller shares how she opened several credit cards in her cheating ex’s name to tank his score.
  • Caller: “Within two months, he had like three credit cards open in his name... What can you do?” (08:26–08:30)
  • Hosts laugh off her “passive aggressive” approach.
  • Bert (A): “You can hear the remorse.” (08:32)

6. Listener Story #4: STD Rumor Warfare (08:38–09:48)

• Caller Angel admits to calling her ex’s mom after catching him cheating, then sparking a rumor he had syphilis—enlisting his own sister to ensure it stuck.
  • Caller Angel (D): “His sister continues to tell everyone that he has syphilis.” (09:47)
  • Bert (A): “Even a rumor of an STD is going to keep you out of the dating pool pretty well.” (09:48)
  • Hosts reminisce on the reputation-ruining power of high-school rumors.

7. Listener Story #5: Three-Times-Over Revenge (10:02–10:36)

• Caller Valerie tells how, in the heat of confronting her cheating husband, she accidentally(?) runs over his foot with her car—three times—while trying to leave the driveway, also damaging her house’s patio.
  • Bert (A): “It was all an accident?” (10:28)
  • Cassie (C): “Reverse, drive. Reverse, drive. I couldn’t figure out which way I wanted to go.” (10:32)

8. Listener Story #6: The Engagement Ring Switcheroo (10:38–11:30)

• Caller Amanda: After her ex-fiancé cheats with a friend and demands the ring back, she has the diamond replaced with cubic zirconia.
  • Amanda (D): “Before I gave it back to him, I had the diamond switched out for a cubic zirconian and gave it back to him. And he is now engaged to somebody else. And she is wearing that ring.” (11:10)
  • Cassie (C): “That’s beautiful.” (11:13)
  • Bert (A): “That needs to be applauded. Well played. Checkmate.” (11:15)
  • Hosts praise the brilliance and non-violent creativity of this move.

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “You could just do stupid stuff like that.” – Bert (A), 02:09
• “That was methodical rage.” – Cassie (C), 03:38
• “Just to be spiteful and mean, I wasn't gonna do it.” – Jen (D), 05:14
• “I went…cut them up with scissors…deleted all the entries in his cell phone…my brothers…helped me spray paint it pink…” – Caller, 07:13–07:49
• “Who remembers phone numbers, right?” – Caller, 07:23
• “Within two months, he had like three credit cards open in his name... What can you do?” – Caller, 08:26–08:30
• “His sister continues to tell everyone that he has syphilis.” – Angel (D), 09:47
• “Even a rumor of an STD is going to keep you out of the dating pool pretty well.” – Bert (A), 09:48
• “Reverse drive. Reverse drive. I couldn't figure out which way I wanted to go.” – Cassie (C), 10:32
• “Before I gave it back to him, I had the diamond switched out for a cubic zirconian and gave it back to him. And he is now engaged to somebody else.” – Amanda (D), 11:10

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Tone & Style

The episode stays true to The Bert Show's trademark—fun, candid, and a bit mischievous. The hosts are playful but empathetic, often shocked but always supportive of callers’ resourcefulness. They approach these dramatic (sometimes destructive) stories with an eye-roll, a laugh, and admiration for creative (and mostly nonviolent) payback.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:17: Intro & Movie Reference
• 01:17–03:41: Extreme Examples, Police Officer Story
• 03:47–05:56: Caller Jen – Apartment Standoff
• 06:00–07:55: Vintage T-Shirt/Cheating Ex Story
• 08:04–08:34: Credit Score Sabotage
• 08:38–09:48: STD Rumor Warfare
• 10:02–10:36: Three-Times-Over Car Revenge
• 10:38–11:30: The Diamond Heist/Engagement Ring Switch

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Conclusion

“Vault: How Did You Snap On Your Ex?" is a whirlwind blend of cathartic confession, comedic revenge, and the solidarity of knowing everyone, even the calmest among us, can break character when proven love goes awry. The stories range from petty to extreme, but every caller reminds listeners: When relationships end badly, you’re never alone in your crazy—and sometimes, a little creativity goes a long way.

Transcript

[A]

The bird show. I want a little honesty this morning, and I want you guys to call up and kind of narc on yourself. And the situation I'm looking for is you're basically a pretty normal person, you know, pretty even keel. But either he or she did something so bad to you during a breakup, or you found out maybe he was screwing around, or she was screwing around and you just snapped and you did something that you normally would not do. And we've talked about this before, and I think that the great example is what's that movie where Waiting to Exhale.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Waiting to Exhale. When Angela Bassett goes into her soon to be ex husband's closet and then sees all his stuff and decides to chunk them all in his car that's parked out in front of the house. And then she torches it and just burns everything.

[A]

She just lost it. So it's a pretty even keel person. But I'll tell you what, during a breakup, when things can get so emotional, or when you find out that they're screwing around on you, things can get so emotional you could just turn into a person that you're normally not.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

And everybody's been there at one point.

[C]

Violent, throws things, throws things off balconies, you name it.

[A]

Could be like keying a car. I mean, you normally wouldn't do that. You're so upset. Before you know it. Shh. Right along his car. Right along her car. Doesn't make it any more. Right, but you did it.

[B]

Right. I've heard of the case of the close. Where. And this has been. This was like a friend of a friend, so it wasn't a close friend, but something about going into the closet and actually cutting up the clothes. So not burning them or anything, but going up and destroying them in the closet.

[A]

I've told you guys, I know about the girl that caught her boyfriend cheating on her. So she went into his wallet and took all of his cards, his credit cards, his driver's license. She went in and also found his Social Security card, birth certificate, and torched it all. And her point was she wanted him to think of her every time he was standing in a line, every time he was making a phone call. Because you know how much of a hassle it is to get any of that stuff back. Every time he made a call, he wanted to think of her. So she told him, here's what I did yesterday.

[C]

I took it all. Ryan told me one time when he was breaking up with a girlfriend. You guys know how gentle he is. He and a Girlfriend were breaking up, and he actually punched the windshield of a car and cracked it.

[A]

Yeah, you could just do stupid stuff like that. 404-741. Q100. I'm bringing this up because Melissa had a story earlier this morning about this woman in DeKalb County, a police officer. She's been on the force 13 years. She separated from her husband, and I'm not sure how long ago, but he's a dekalb county police officer also. Well, her husband, or former husband or soon to be husband, started dating a woman named Samara Barkin. And Teresa, the police officer, she didn't like that too much. Kind of snapped on him a little bit. So she went and used a classified law enforcement computer to look up Samara's personal information. It was actually the Georgia Crime Information Center. And as a police officer, you actually sign a waiver saying, you won't use that for this kind of thing. It's against the law. So she goes in and she finds out all this information about the woman that her soon to be ex is dating. And she mails flyers to all of Samara's friends and her family. The word homewrecker was written on top of the page. Then there was Samara's face. And then right below that was the word ashamed. And then three Bible verses about adultery were printed on the flyer as well.

[C]

Dang. That's rage right there.

[A]

That's rage. Relationship rage. Her mom got one, her neighbors got one, her former boss got one, and a whole bunch of other relatives got one, too.

[C]

Jeez. That was methodical rage.

[A]

How are you going to beat that? Good morning, Jen. You're on Q100. Hi.

[D]

Hey. How are y' all doing?

[A]

All right. How are you?

[D]

I'm doing great.

[A]

Your relationship rage, it turned you into somebody that you normally wouldn't be.

[D]

I was. I was always very passive. Didn't want confrontation. And my ex husband came to me, said he wanted a divorce. I said, okay, that's fine. But he had moved me to Atlanta. He was military. I had no family here, so I was like, you know, my name is on the lease, too, so we're just going to have to get along. You go in the spare bedroom, whatever. And I went home for a weekend to visit my parents and. And came home and he moved his girlfriend in.

[C]

Oh, you're kidding. Into the apartment?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

With your stuff.

[D]

A two bedroom apartment. Mine's down.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And I was like, okay, that's fine, but I'm still paying half the rent. So I moved my boyfriend in oh, God.

[A]

Into the second room?

[D]

No, I kicked him out and moved them into the spare bedroom with a twin bed. And I had the master bedroom with the king size bed.

[A]

So wait a second, there was a point there where all of you were living in the same apartment at the same time?

[D]

Yeah, my mother told me if I ended up on Jerry Springer, she'd kill me.

[A]

Yeah, you did more damage to yourself than you did to him. Like you.

[D]

No, no, no. He could not believe that I did that because he was basically trying to get me to go out, but just to be spiteful and mean, I wasn't gonna do it.

[B]

So I'm curious, who ended up being the one to move out first?

[D]

He did.

[A]

Oh, yeah, he did. He didn't want anything to do with that.

[C]

Who was the one to do something loud enough so that the ex could hear it first?

[D]

Me. You did in fact. In fact, his girlfriend walked in on us.

[C]

Uh huh.

[A]

All right. And you made sure she walked in on us while the door was wide open and we were screaming at the as loud as we could.

[D]

Well, say I didn't put the padlock on.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure. Good morning. Q100.

[D]

Hi, guys.

[C]

Hi.

[D]

Wow, you do not piss off the Texan, let me tell you that much. Okay. I was dating this guy about six or seven years ago when I was still in college, and I. I kind of cared about him. I didn't think it was going to really go anywhere, so I wanted to break it off. And according to him, we were having such a quote unquote good time. He told me he had a terminal illness. So I was, I was young, I was a freshman. I was stupid. I fell for it. And you know how when you take pictures with a digital camera, it'll save the time and date in the lower right hand corner?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, apparently he enjoys taking pictures of himself having fun with other girls when he's supposed to be in the hospital. And one of the girls he was messing around with found out what was going on. Well, found out about my existence, first off. And she sent me these pictures so that I would notice the date and time. And I got so pissed off. So unbelievably pissed off. And I grew up with brothers and boy Scouts and soldiers, so I know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't do that.

[B]

She's about to do something else. Go ahead.

[D]

Well, he. He collected vintage T shirts, and some of them were really expensive, and he had literally like 300 of them. And so I wanted to make sure he Wasn't going to be able to go anywhere. Like, as though he were in a hospital. I went through all of his cars. I cut them up with scissors. I deleted all the entries in his cell phone so he couldn't call anybody. He doesn't remember phone numbers. Who remembers phone numbers, right? And I. I went to his car with. With my brothers, and they helped me spray paint it pink and then spray paint male genitalia on top of it.

[C]

Whoa.

[D]

So. So his pretty little souped up Ford Mustang wasn't really pretty anymore.

[A]

See, when you start recruiting family members, right, that's a whole different. That's a whole different level of love.

[C]

Dive into vandalism with your family members.

[A]

Hey, Amanda, you're on Q100.

[D]

Hey, how are you guys?

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Well, when my ex broke off me, he had cheated on me and, you know, whatever, and we broke up. He left all his mail at my house. So I just started leaving credit card applications and places, you know, just kind of laying around. And within I think two months, he had like three credit cards open in his name.

[A]

I'll check up your credit score a little bit.

[D]

Yeah, well, what can you do?

[C]

What can you do?

[A]

You can hear the remorse.

[C]

She's passive aggressive about it.

[B]

Yeah, well, he cheated on me. So what? There it goes.

[A]

Angel.

[D]

Hello. How are y'?

[A]

All? Okay. Your relationship rage. What happened?

[D]

I just want to tell y', all, I was only 18 at this time, and I'm 21 now, so this was a long time ago.

[A]

Oh, you're a totally different woman now.

[B]

Wait, you say you're 21 now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, I'm 21.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I dated a guy and he was only 17 when. When I found out he was cheating on me. I was only 18, so it's not that bad. But he lived in a very protective home. His parents knew, like, everything about him and thought they did well. He was into a bunch of bad stuff. And when I found out he cheated on me first, I called his mom and told his mom everything, which is pretty bad for a 17 year old. But the girl that he cheated on me with, on the two girls, I told them both that he had syphilis.

[C]

Did they believe you?

[D]

Yeah, they did believe me, actually. I got my best friend, who he also cheated on me with, in on everything, and his sister, and we told two girls he had syphilis. And then when I found out he was dating another girl, like it was like a year later, we made sure that she knew that he had maybe had syphilis or had it or didn't get it treated or whatever. But he's not been able to find anybody to date because his sister continues to tell everyone that he has syphilis.

[A]

Yeah, that's even. That's the kind of thing that even a rumor of an STD is going to keep you out of the dating pool pretty well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's all that takes.

[C]

You guys remember the ones in high school who had the rumor attached to him.

[A]

Wouldn't go anywhere, anywhere near. Good morning, Valerie. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hey.

[D]

I was married to this guy. He was watching my kids while at work one day. And I came home and he. My kids had told me he had been messing around with some girl in my house. So we got into an argument. So I was trying to get out of the driveway. I was pissed. I backed over his foot with my tire and then went over it again and then went over again and knocked my whole patio off of my house.

[A]

It was an accident.

[B]

Three times.

[A]

It was all an accident?

[C]

Yeah. Reverse drive. Reverse drive. I couldn't figure out which way I wanted to go.

[B]

I couldn't get control of my car.

[A]

Amanda, you'll be the last call. What's up?

[D]

Hey. I was engaged for about a year. And the wedding was about three months away. And I found out he had been cheating on me. And so we broke it off because. What? He was cheating with one of my friends. And he told me that he wanted the ring back. Which I kind of figured he would because he's the guy that will use that ring again. Before I gave it back to him, I had the diamond switched out for a cubic zirconian and gave it back to him. And he is now engaged to somebody else. And she is wearing that ring.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Nice.

[C]

That's beautiful.

[A]

That needs to be applauded. Well played. Checkmate. Game over.

[B]

That's fantastic to see.

[C]

Nonviolent.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Passive aggressive. But you win.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Cuz eventually she's going to find out it's a CZ and it's going to be on. On him.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And he'll track it back to her. That's beautiful. The Birch Show.