The Bert Show – Detailed Episode Summary
Episode Title: Vault: How Does He Tell His Girlfriend She's Awful In Bed?
Date: December 12, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show by Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Overview
In this candid and relatable episode, the Bert Show team—led by Bert Weiss—dives deep into a sensitive relationship dilemma: a listener named John seeks advice on how to address his disappointment with his girlfriend's skills and enthusiasm in bed, despite their deep love and compatibility in every other aspect. The hosts, a relationship expert, and multiple callers contribute their perspectives, offering real talk, humor, and heartfelt guidance for John and listeners facing similar challenges.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. John's Dilemma: Love vs. Intimacy Issues
- Introduction of John’s Situation (01:36)
- John’s been in a relationship for two years and feels his girlfriend is "the woman of my dreams" (02:13), even having bought a ring.
- However, he’s hesitant to propose due to dissatisfaction with their sex life—describing it as routine, lacking spontaneity, and something he sometimes tries to avoid (03:07–03:41).
- He’s tried to communicate and ask for feedback, but the issue persists (05:14).
Quote:
“I bought a ring. I mean, to that point, I’ve just been holding off on things because I have some concerns about the relationship.”
— John (02:29)
2. The Bert Show Panel’s Initial Reactions
- The hosts acknowledge how crucial sexual compatibility can be in a lifelong relationship, without dismissing John’s feelings as superficial (05:42).
- There’s an early consensus: while John’s concerns are valid, therapy and deeper communication haven’t been fully tried yet.
Quote:
“Guys, sounds kind of superficial, but I don't think you can understate how important that part of your relationship is, especially when you're staring at forever, you know?”
— Bert Weiss (05:42)
3. Listener and Panel Advice: Move On or Work It Out?
- Caller Sarah: Advises John to move on, worried that unresolved sexual incompatibility will eventually lead to infidelity (07:34–08:18).
- “He’s just setting himself up for some trouble in the future… I think personally, and I've experienced this myself, he's going to end up out there having affairs.” — Sarah (07:36, 08:12)
- Panel Reflection: Bert and a relationship expert urge not to give up without exhausting all solutions, especially since John sees his girlfriend as “the one” (08:23–08:27).
- Consensus Building: Sex is ranked alongside spiritual, emotional, and intellectual compatibility—unaddressed misfits can undermine a lifelong bond.
4. Is the Issue Fixable? Causes, Communication, and Gender Norms
- Callers (Gwendolyn, Gina, Tiffany, Clay, Lisa):
- Some share personal experiences of overcoming similar intimacy roadblocks through patience, vulnerability, and understanding possible backgrounds of trauma or sexual suppression (09:36–12:43; 13:28–14:37).
- Suggestions include therapy, honest mutual communication, and not rushing to give up.
- Panel Reflection: Women’s early socialization may inhibit sexual openness (15:07–15:35), and long-term couples note growth in this aspect often takes time and trust.
Quote:
“Sex for me is not just about sex in general. It's about, you know, being with the person that I'm attracted to. Being with the person I love and enhancing that relationship.”
— Relationship Expert (16:54)
5. Are Both Parties Satisfied? The Need for Mutual Feedback
- The team challenges John to consider that his girlfriend might also be unsatisfied and that he may not be as "good" in bed for her as he assumes.
- True improvement requires vulnerability and humility from both partners (15:48–17:12).
Quote:
“You may be just as bad for her as she is for you.”
— Relationship Expert (15:48)
6. Final Guidance: Don’t Propose Yet, Try Therapy
- Hosts urge John to postpone the proposal and try therapy or more honest dialogue before making a final decision (16:18–17:12).
- Therapy is strongly recommended as an avenue left unexplored.
- The hosts remind John and the audience that their advice is friendly—not professional—and encourage making fully informed choices (16:51; 18:56).
Quote:
“Keep that ring in your pocket right now.”
— Bert Weiss (16:51)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps
- “She’s the woman of my dreams... She’s just perfect.”
— John (02:13) - “I’ve tried ... saying, ‘Hey, you know, this works. This doesn't work.’ ... I try to avoid [sex], because it's almost like a disappointment for me.”
— John (03:07–03:41) - “Some people just have a problem, like, are not as comfortable with sex as other people are... Is she the type of woman [who] just wants to get it over with?”
— Relationship Expert (04:18) - “If he’s been in [the relationship] for two years and he’s tried to talk to her and it’s just not getting any better, getting married is not going to help it.”
— Gwendolyn (08:39) - “You may be just as bad for her as she is for you.”
— Relationship Expert (15:48) - “Go to therapy. I mean, you haven’t tried therapy yet. I mean, seriously.”
— Relationship Expert (16:54)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 01:36 – 05:14: John explains his situation and concerns.
- 05:42 – 06:23: Host and panel frame the core relationship issue.
- 07:34 – 08:18: Caller Sarah: advocate for moving on.
- 09:36 – 12:43: Callers share personal stories about intimacy and overcoming sexual barriers.
- 15:07 – 15:35: Socialization and women’s experiences with talking about sex.
- 16:18 – 17:12: Final panel guidance: try therapy and don’t propose yet.
Summary Takeaways
- Sexual compatibility is a major factor in long-term relationships, and issues should be addressed as seriously as emotional or intellectual mismatches.
- John’s efforts at communication and seeking input are positive, but both hosts and listeners recommend deeper, more vulnerable conversations—ideally with a therapist.
- The panel highlights that both partners need to be open to feedback, as dissatisfaction may be mutual.
- Don’t rush into marriage if a major need goes unaddressed; try every avenue, including therapy, before making lasting decisions.
- Cultural and individual backgrounds, including upbringing and trauma, can shape someone’s comfort and expression in intimacy.
“If you were my best friend, I would say keep that ring in your pocket right now.”
— Bert Weiss (16:51)
Episode reinforced with humor, authenticity, and real talk, this conversation offers comfort and practical advice for anyone grappling with similar relationship crossroads.