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Knox
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Bert Weiss
Purchase the Bert Show. All right. Voice disguiser on, sir. All right, we are gonna call Burt show listener John. Good morning, John.
John (Caller)
Hey, good morning, Bircho.
Bert Weiss
How are you today, sir?
John (Caller)
I'm doing very well for the most part.
Bert Weiss
I do not have your email here in front of me. I have conveniently lost that. But Tracy said that you kind of have this almost, it's almost a tragedy going on in your life with your girlfriend. At this point, yeah.
John (Caller)
That's a good way of putting it.
Clay (Caller)
Yeah.
Bert Weiss
How long y' all been going out?
John (Caller)
About two years now.
Bert Weiss
Two years. All right, give us, like, the definition. Like you really are in love with this girl, or is this just. It's not as deep as I'm making it out to be.
John (Caller)
I mean, I. I mean, she's. She's the woman of my dreams. She really is. Everything about her I love. I mean, there's nothing. There's nothing that she can say or do, you know, and mind you, she's just perfect. She's just perfect.
Bert Weiss
So this is really the woman that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with?
John (Caller)
I mean, I bought a ring. I mean, to that point, I've just been holding off on things because I have some concerns about the relationship.
Bert Weiss
All right, let's talk about those.
John (Caller)
Well, I guess what I consider the four key components of relationship, like the spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual. We share the best of mostly all of them, except for the physical side of things. I mean, please don't take me wrong. She's beautiful. She's a beautiful girl. The problem is that I don't think she's really that good in bed.
Knox
Okay?
John (Caller)
And, you know, I've tried. You know, we've been dating for two years, and of course we've had relations. You know, that's why I can say that she's not good in bed. But I try to give some instructions, you know, and say, hey, you know, this works. This doesn't work. And I've asked for the same thing. Hey, you know, what is it that I can do to improve? Or something along those lines? And, you know, it's come to the point where at times I try to avoid may lead us getting into bed, because it's like a. It's almost like a disappointment for me.
Bert Weiss
Is it just like routine, routine, routine? Or is it when she's trying to do things, she's just really, really bad?
John (Caller)
Well, that's one thing. It's not really. She's not trying to do things, but it is routine. It's the same thing over and over again. And I like, you know, I like spontaneity. I like to try different things or whatever. And for her, it's more or less the, you know, the old thing.
Co-host/Commentator
I guess it's a wet thing, just.
John (Caller)
You know, the same style over and over again. You know, it's one way, basically, now.
Relationship Expert
So, you know, some people just have a problem, like, are not as comfortable with sex as other People are. And in your discussions with her, has she brought up the fact that she just doesn't feel comfortable, you know, being intimate?
John (Caller)
No, not at all.
Relationship Expert
Because usually, routine. If a woman does the same thing over and over again, I. To me, it seems like she just has a problem with. And. And is she the type of woman just wants to get over with?
John (Caller)
No. I mean, as far as when the act is going on, for lack of better way of putting out what's. What's okay to say on radio, but for when everything is going on, I mean, it. It just, you know, she'll. She'll initiate things, but when things are going on, it's like all of a sudden it just dies real fast.
Bert Weiss
So I'm just trying to establish here how much you've tried to make this a good part of your relationship. Have you seen somebody about it? Have you guys had a lot of conversations about it?
John (Caller)
I mean, we talk about it, you know. You know, again, I am the type of person, I like to take care of the person I'm with, you know, more than me being taken care of. So I try to get, you know, say, well, what is it that you like? Tell me, you know, what can I do? How can I change things around? And, you know, kind of by changing things around, by getting her opinion, kind of makes it better for me too, you know, because it's like, okay, it's something different, but it's not that way. It's not that way with her.
Bert Weiss
I think, like, your first thought is like, wow, she's great in every other way. I mean, guys, sounds kind of superficial, but that. I don't think you can understate how important that part of your relationship is, especially when you're staring at forever, you know?
Relationship Expert
Yeah. I'm the type of person that. That's a very important part of the relationship. And, you know, I can totally understand the frustration, but I would hate to see this go away just because of that. Like, there's got to be a way. Like Bert was, you know, prodding with about therapy and that kind of thing. There's gotta be a way to fix it, because everything else is so great.
Bert Weiss
John, let me take a couple of calls for you. I'm put you on the voice disguiser. I mean, I'm going to put you on hold because I can't put other calls on with you without everybody being on the voice disguiser. Okay.
John (Caller)
Okay, great.
Bert Weiss
All right, hold on. And then we'll come back to you. All right, so in essence here, John's got. He he's been going out with this girl for two years. She thinks she's great in every way. I mean, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually. They're, like, together, man.
Relationship Expert
He's bought the ring.
Bert Weiss
He's bought the ring. He's ready to do this. But their sex life is pretty bad. And while they haven't seen anybody about it, he thinks they've had conversations. And he's almost to a point where he thinks, you know, what she is. What she is. I guess the first question is a. Can they do anything about it? And what would your advice be if, like, let's just say this is an area she's just never gonna be good in? I, Burt Weiss, am never gonna be good at organizing things. Never. I just don't have it as much, and as many classes as I take, I could sit down with an organizing therapist for the next five weeks. I just don't think that way. So let's.
Co-host/Commentator
Some of the American Idol people, they come back year after year, but they just can't sing.
Bert Weiss
They still suck.
Co-host/Commentator
What if, no matter how many times she goes to the. She just can't get her done?
Bert Weiss
So if. If that's the case with her, is it a big enough deal to where he should let her go and try to find somebody else? Hey, Sarah, you're on the Burt show on all the hits. Q100. What kind of advice do you have for John?
Female Callers
Hi.
Knox
Good morning.
Female Callers
I'd like to say to John, move on. I mean, I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's just setting himself up for some trouble in the future. And he knows that now. It's only been two years, and there's so many people out there. I just. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one.
Bert Weiss
I think I would handle it like any other problem in a relationship. Like, I would go 110% to correct it. I would do everything I could.
Female Callers
But he's only dated her for two years. It's not like they're married already. And then, you know, they've come into problems. This is the start of it.
Relationship Expert
But he called. Well, he called her the woman of his dreams. He's bought the ring. He really wants this to be the one for him.
Female Callers
You know, I don't think he knows which one's the one for him yet.
Co-host/Commentator
What's that?
Female Callers
I don't think he knows that that's the one for him.
Relationship Expert
Okay.
Female Callers
I think personally, and I've experienced this myself, he's going to end up out there having affairs.
Bert Weiss
You think so?
Female Callers
I Do.
John (Caller)
That's your fear, unfortunately.
Female Callers
I mean, it's the way of life that a lot of people out there are doing it.
Bert Weiss
It's a big deal. I mean, I would put it right up there with the rest of them. Spirituality, emotional.
Relationship Expert
Yeah, I totally agree with Bert. I mean, passionate intimacy has to be a part of my life where I can't do it. And especially can't do it for the rest of my life.
Bert Weiss
Gwendolyn, good morning.
Female Callers
Good morning. I wanted to say about the caller, John, that if he's been in a relationship for two years and he's tried to talk to her and it's just not getting any better, then getting married is not going to help it. I mean, that's one of the main reasons that men cheat on their wives is because the sex isn't there.
Bert Weiss
I got to agree with you on that. It's like, you know, I keep telling people that are about to get married, too, because, you know, within a guy's world, we like to kid each other, but we're really kind of insecure that we're going to be with one woman for the rest of our life. And that scares us to death. Right.
Female Callers
Setting himself up for failure.
Bert Weiss
The truth of the matter is that I think in most healthy marriages, the guys that I've talked to say that the sex has gotten better and better and better the longer you have sex with one person. So if they're two years into this and it hasn't improved in two years, I think that's kind of a big old red flag right there. Also.
Co-host/Commentator
Now, what about if, like, Crash, the sex is getting better, but it's not.
Bert Weiss
With his wife, you'd have to ask.
Co-host/Commentator
Crash, what does that mean for the marriage?
Relationship Expert
Yeah, that's a great point. Because when you first. Usually your first time with somebody's gonna be awkward. Cause you don't know each other too well. But yeah, after two. And I wonder. And when we get John back on, I do want to ask if he thinks that she thinks he's good and bad.
Bert Weiss
Of course he does. All guys are good and bad.
Relationship Expert
Of course. But I just wonder if she's as sad, I mean, if she's as disgruntled about that same part of their life. I wonder if their communication is that open.
Bert Weiss
Hey, Gina. Yes, good morning. You're on the Burt show on all the hits. Q100.
Female Callers
Thank you. Love the show.
Bert Weiss
Thank you.
Female Callers
You guys did great this weekend.
Bert Weiss
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Co-host/Commentator
Now, let's talk about sex.
Female Callers
Well, I think that. I mean, if he if everything's there, he has the ring. He feels in his heart that he wants this woman to spend the rest of his life with him. I think he needs to open the lines of communication with her about this, and they both get help. I mean, it's 2005.
Bert Weiss
Yeah.
Female Callers
Go have a discussion with somebody. If she loves him, then she, you know, she may be hurt, at least you know, to hear that he feels this way. But if she loves him and he loves her, you know, everything's there, but that you can so work through that.
Bert Weiss
I agree with that. Like, I don't feel like we're talking to a guy that's done absolutely everything he can before he throws this away.
Relationship Expert
Right.
Bert Weiss
Good morning, Tiffany. You're on all the hits. Q100.
Female Callers
Hi. I was just gonna tell you, maybe he should dig a little deeper. Sometimes women that were sexually abused as children have a hard time later in life opening up in relationships.
Relationship Expert
Maybe. I don't even know if it has to be that extreme of a case. I just do think some women, you know, because we're taught to be suppressed about that part of our lives, some women never grow out of that. And I. And I. That's why I asked her earlier if she has a weird thing about sex.
Bert Weiss
You know, take one more call here from Clay, then we'll get John back on. Hey, Clay.
Clay (Caller)
Hey, man.
Bert Weiss
You got a little bit of a different take on this.
Co-host/Commentator
Yeah.
Clay (Caller)
I've been married for 14 years, and my wife had some issues early on, too. And I've never called a radio show ever, but I listen to you guys every day.
Bert Weiss
Well, thank you.
Clay (Caller)
No problem. And I just thought when, you know, he was describing, you know, how she's just perfect for him, but the sex life really isn't there. I agree with the previous caller that a lot of times, previous sexual issues, you know, could play a part in maybe her reluctance in bed. You know, whether it's abuse or a lack of self esteem or whatever, but it's definitely something that can be worked through. But both people, I think, really need to be vulnerable about what really is the issue.
Bert Weiss
Clay, let me ask you this. Did you find yourself in this situation? And if you did, what did you do to make everything better?
Clay (Caller)
You know.
John (Caller)
It'S a little bit more.
Clay (Caller)
Complicated than a one or two line answer bird. For me, it was basically just investing 100% of my efforts into making sure that she felt comfortable and that she could trust who I was, not just outside, but also in bed, you know, And I think over time, you know, her Inhibitions, you know, fell away to the point to where I think after 14 years, we've got the best sex life of anybody I know.
Bert Weiss
Awesome, man. Thank you for calling Clay.
Co-host/Commentator
Thanks, man.
Relationship Expert
I definitely think it can be improved. And I think Clay hit on the perfect word for this. You have to make. Both of you have to make yourselves vulnerable, you know, to make improvements. Because that's what usually true intimacy is all about. Vulnerability. And you have to trust your partner. And the best sex comes from when you can be at that vulnerable level. And I just, you know, wonder. That's why I asked if John's girlfriend feels as disgruntled about that part of their lives, because John can't go in there too confident, thinking he's all great, too. If he's gonna make this work, we'll.
Bert Weiss
Ask him in a second. This is really the last call. I'm not kidding. This is the really. I'm not kidding about it. Last call.
Co-host/Commentator
Unless another good one comes in, you're not gonna take any more other than this one.
Bert Weiss
Hey, Lisa. Hey, good morning.
Female Callers
How are you?
Bert Weiss
Awesome. Thank you.
Female Callers
Good. I think that. That John, you know, I think people put way too much emphasis and pressure on about sex. You know, I know when I was growing up, I'm 32 years old, it wasn't discussed in my house, you know, it wasn't something discussed by my parents, you know, and it's something. I'm still, you know, I'm shaking right now. I can't believe I'm calling in and talking about this, because, you know. But my husband and I, we've been together for nine years, and, you know, we have a fabulous relationship. And, you know, I just. I think the guy just, you know, he found somebody. It's so hard to find somebody that you connect with on so many levels this day and age, you know, just take your time, discuss it. You will grow into comfort, you know, with yourselves, you know, with each other. But it takes time. You know, two years. That's not a lot of time for, you know, that kind of deep intimacy and that, you know, it could be that she had some issues when she was younger, you know, or whatever. But don't. Don't walk out of that. That's just crazy. As a couple out on somebody on that.
Bert Weiss
As a couple that's been married nine years, I'm gonna ask you a very intimate question, because you said that sex really isn't that big a deal. How often are you having sex?
Female Callers
Oh, God, I can't answer that.
Bert Weiss
Okay, that's fine.
Female Callers
I'm freaking out.
Bert Weiss
That's okay.
Co-host/Commentator
Just estimate.
Bert Weiss
You don't have to do that.
Female Callers
Yeah, I can't answer that.
Bert Weiss
That's fine.
Co-host/Commentator
Did you have sex this past weekend?
Bert Weiss
Thank you for calling.
Relationship Expert
And I think she is a symbol. I think guys need to realize she symbolizes a lot of women that sex wasn't talked to in the, you know, talked about in the house. Especially for women, you don't have sex. You know, you stay a virgin till you're married. I mean, these are the first lessons we're taught about sex as young girls. So that's why I say I wonder if John is doing everything he can because a guy's a lot more liberal in thinking about sex. She is a perfect example of how a lot of men, women feel. She's shaking even talking about it, you know.
Bert Weiss
Hey, John.
John (Caller)
Yes.
Bert Weiss
I guess Melissa's question is, has your girlfriend told you that she's pretty satisfied in that area?
John (Caller)
No, actually, that has not come up.
Bert Weiss
Okay.
Relationship Expert
Because I think that to improve upon this you have to realize that you may be just as bad for her as she is for you.
John (Caller)
I agree. And that's kind of like why I'm cold. Because, you know, somebody mentioned earlier it may never work out to be though I think Vernon mentioned it. It may never have to be that we are compatible in that part of our relationship. And because I kind of put a heavy emphasis on that part of the relationship, that's why I'm stuck in this position now.
Bert Weiss
I think this is really valid, man. I mean, you were saying that this is a priority for you. And if it's not, if this isn't going to be good, then you're not going to be a happily married man. But what I also would say to you is if you were my best friend, Colin, I would say I just don't think you've tried everything yet to make sure this is an area that you don't think that you can be successful in. Once you do that and 110% commit to it and really know this sucks, but it's just not gonna happen, then I think you can make a pretty educated decision. But if you were my best friend, I would say keep that ring in your pocket right now.
John (Caller)
Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now.
Relationship Expert
Go to therapy. I mean, you haven't tried therapy yet. I mean, seriously, I mean, you know, sex for me is not just about sex in general. It's about, you know, being with the person that I'm attracted to. Being with the person I Love and enhancing that relationship. And so, I mean, she's the, you know, woman of your dreams. And so it can even get better if you can work this out. But I agree with Bert. I don't think you've done enough.
Bert Weiss
And if she's great, and if you guys are totally compatible in every other area, then she, I think, would be open to you saying, you know what, we should probably see somebody about this.
John (Caller)
I would agree. I'm all for that. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, you know, it takes. I guess this is kind of my problem. And say, how do you address with someone that, hey, I'm not satisfied in bed because, you know, I put on the show.
Co-host/Commentator
No more about that. I'm sorry I said, you don't have to give us any more details about that.
John (Caller)
You know, I try to. You know, I'm like, I'm really into it. And the sad part is I'm not. And how do you say it's because of. How do you talk somebody that. I don't think that you're that good. I need this part of our relationship to change.
Bert Weiss
Dude, if you were that. Well, if you're that good, if you guys are that compatible, any. What you say to her is going to be the right thing.
Co-host/Commentator
Brian, maybe have you considered, like, you know, you go ahead and marry her or whatever, but then you use, you know, one of the adult dating services or Craigslist or something and just find yourself a mistress.
Relationship Expert
Jeff, stop. Well, and when you say you put on a show. Women. Yeah, when you say you put on a show, that makes me even wonder more like, if she's seen through some of that. Like, she. She's not as dumb as you think. You're not as good as you think you are.
Bert Weiss
I just don't. I don't know.
John (Caller)
I agree with her. It's definitely not that way.
Co-host/Commentator
You're not wearing costumes, are you?
John (Caller)
I asked for feedback.
Bert Weiss
Yeah, I just don't think you've done it. I don't know if we're probably gonna. We could beat a dead horse here over the next half an hour. John, I just. I think that you just haven't seen it all the way through.
John (Caller)
I appreciate your help. Thank you.
Bert Weiss
All right, man.
Relationship Expert
Thanks for coming. Good luck, John.
Bert Weiss
Okay, bye. Bye. I think now's an important time to do the Dr. Phil disclaimer that we're not. No one in here is Dr. Phil. No one has a PhD in anything.
Relationship Expert
We're not therapists.
Bert Weiss
We'll only talk to you like you guys were our friends and our listeners will do the same thing. So take our advice or don't. But it's certainly not professional, correct? That's for sure. The Virt Show New products to launch, new people to develop new goals to crush Workday Go is designed for small and mid sized businesses. By bringing HR and finance together on one AI platform, you'll have everything you need to think big, go big and grow big. And activation is fast. It takes just 30 to 60 business days to get you up and running. Simplify your SMB on an AI platform, you'll never outgrow. Workday Go Mic Check 12 Are we recording?
Female Callers
Hi, I'm Michelle Bernstein, an award winning.
Bert Weiss
Chef, restaurateur and mom.
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Bert Weiss
That's why I was prescribed Cosentyx. It helps me move better.
Knox
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Bert Weiss
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Episode Title: Vault: How Does He Tell His Girlfriend She's Awful In Bed?
Date: December 12, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show by Pionaire Podcasting
In this candid and relatable episode, the Bert Show team—led by Bert Weiss—dives deep into a sensitive relationship dilemma: a listener named John seeks advice on how to address his disappointment with his girlfriend's skills and enthusiasm in bed, despite their deep love and compatibility in every other aspect. The hosts, a relationship expert, and multiple callers contribute their perspectives, offering real talk, humor, and heartfelt guidance for John and listeners facing similar challenges.
Quote:
“I bought a ring. I mean, to that point, I’ve just been holding off on things because I have some concerns about the relationship.”
— John (02:29)
Quote:
“Guys, sounds kind of superficial, but I don't think you can understate how important that part of your relationship is, especially when you're staring at forever, you know?”
— Bert Weiss (05:42)
Quote:
“Sex for me is not just about sex in general. It's about, you know, being with the person that I'm attracted to. Being with the person I love and enhancing that relationship.”
— Relationship Expert (16:54)
Quote:
“You may be just as bad for her as she is for you.”
— Relationship Expert (15:48)
Quote:
“Keep that ring in your pocket right now.”
— Bert Weiss (16:51)
“If you were my best friend, I would say keep that ring in your pocket right now.”
— Bert Weiss (16:51)
Episode reinforced with humor, authenticity, and real talk, this conversation offers comfort and practical advice for anyone grappling with similar relationship crossroads.