Vault: How Far Did You Drive In The Wrong Direction?

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – "How Far Did You Drive In The Wrong Direction?"

Date: March 10, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show is all about epic navigation mishaps. The hosts and listeners share hilarious, sometimes painful stories about the longest they’ve ever gone in the wrong direction before realizing their mistake. The segment is a lighthearted, relatable collection of "travel facepalm" moments, highlighting that almost everyone has been there—misreading signs, trusting the wrong navigator, or just zoning out while driving.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Record: The Wrong-Way Road Trip Challenge

• [00:45] The Bert Show Host introduces the episode’s interactive theme:
  “I want to find the person that has driven the longest in the wrong direction before you realize that you had taken a wrong turn somewhere.”
• The challenge is inspired by a friend, Katie, who accidentally spent 60 miles going north instead of south, only realizing an hour later ([01:09]).

2. Host and Caller Confessions: Epic Detours

• Katie’s Story ([00:45–01:31]): A simple wrong turn leads to an hour’s drive in the wrong direction, triggering the main theme:
  “I just went an hour out of my way.”
• Thanksgiving Traffic Nightmare ([01:38]):
  Caller 3 jokes about the pain of realizing you've doubled your detour time—especially during busy holidays!
• The Vegas Diamond Dash Bus Fiasco ([01:50–02:27]):
  Caller 4 recalls a promotional bus trip where the driver went the wrong way out of Memphis and didn't notice until North Carolina, which “threw us off by a whole day.”
  • “Their next stop was supposed to be... skip their next stop or something.” ([02:27])

3. Listeners Share Their Wrong-Way Horror Stories

• Host’s Own Adventure ([02:34–02:57]):
  The host shares driving two and a half extra hours through South Carolina by choosing the wrong highway.

  • “I saw the whole state, which is a beautiful state.”

• Lauren’s Interstate Odyssey ([03:11–03:37]):
  Lauren explains her four-hour detour from Dayton, Ohio, to Paducah, Kentucky, ending up in Nashville, Tennessee, in a snowstorm.

  • “I just know I didn’t get home until 3AM.” (03:29)

• Gainesville to Tallahassee Misfire ([03:42]):
  Another caller spent an extra hour going towards Jacksonville instead of Tallahassee.

  • “That feeling that you have, wait a second, are we going the right way?” (03:55)

• Rebecca’s Atlanta Loop Nightmare ([04:08–04:49]):
  As a college newbie, Rebecca spins around I-285 for four hours, unable to find her way out, finally offering a stranger money at Waffle House for directions.

  • “Went to a Waffle House, finally in tears and asked a guy I said, I will pay you money to take me to Columbus.” (04:43)

• Jennifer’s Accidental Alabama Excursion ([05:15–06:07]):
  Jennifer was supposed to drive to Hilton Head after picking up a friend at the airport. Instead, she ends up in Alabama, adding roughly 300 extra miles.

  • “My oldest one’s 13... she kept saying, mom, we’re headed to Montgomery. I’m like, oh, that’s all right, Sarah. We’re fine. Mom, we’re in Alabama.” (05:47)

• Jessica’s Graceland Misadventure ([06:16–06:46]):
  At 16, Jessica and her friends trusted a friend's (incorrect) navigation to Graceland, only to be pulled over by a trooper in Mississippi, going the wrong way.

  • “We didn’t realize until I got pulled over by a state trooper in Mississippi that we were going west instead of northwest.” (06:38)
  • The officer’s deadpan:
    “Where are you headed? We’re headed to Graceland, Memphis. He’s like, by way of where?” (06:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “That realization that you’re going the wrong way and you’re pitting your stomach like, what a waste of my life right here.”
  — The Bert Show Host ([01:43])

• “It threw us off by a whole day because their next stop was supposed to be... skip their next stop or something.”
  — Caller 4 ([02:25–02:27])

• “I spun around 285 for four hours... Could not do it. Went to a Waffle House, finally in tears.”
  — Rebecca ([04:12–04:43])

• “My oldest one’s 13... Mom, we’re in Alabama. And she’s like, you should have listened to me.”
  — Jennifer ([05:47])

• “We didn’t realize until I got pulled over by a state trooper in Mississippi that we were going west instead of northwest.”
  — Jessica ([06:38])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|--------------------| | 00:45 | Introduction to the "wrong way" stories and Katie’s 60-mile mistake | | 01:50 | Epic bus detour during the Diamond Dash event | | 02:34 | Host recounts personal 2.5-hour wrong-way driving experience | | 03:11 | Lauren’s 4-hour Nashville detour in a snowstorm | | 04:08 | Rebecca’s lost loop around Atlanta’s 285 interstate | | 05:15 | Jennifer’s family winds up in Alabama instead of Hilton Head | | 06:16 | Jessica’s Graceland trip detour and state trooper encounter |

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Episode Highlights & Overall Tone

• The episode is filled with camaraderie, self-deprecation, and plenty of laughs.
• Each story is met with empathy, surprise, and good-natured ribbing from the cast and fellow callers.
• The overarching lesson: everyone gets lost sometimes, and those misadventures—though frustrating—make for the best stories later.

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For Anyone Who’s Ever Missed Their Exit:
Whether you’re a new driver or a seasoned road-tripper, these stories prove you’re far from alone in managing to get way, way off course. The Bert Show offers a collective sigh, a laugh, and a bit of nostalgia for everyone who’s ever looked at a road sign and thought, “Wait, where am I?”

Transcript

[Caller 1]

Oh, no, My coffee.

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[Caller 3]

Wow.

[Caller 2]

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[Caller 4]

Some of the strongest.

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[Burt Show Host]

The Burt Show. I want to do sort of a Birch show. Guinness Book of World Records here. And I want to find the person that has driven the longest in the wrong direction before you realize that you had taken a wrong turn somewhere. And here's why I'm asking. We have a friend, Katie, who was in South Carolina, and on Sunday she was supposed to be driving back to Georgia.

[Caller 3]

Oh, no.

[Burt Show Host]

It just took one wrong turn on Route 17. She was supposed to be going south and she ended up going north for one hour. So let's call it 60 miles would be our starting point. Before she realized, wait a second. Some hair done. It doesn't look right. Like we're in Albany, New York, and we're supposed to be in Georgia.

[Caller 3]

Wait a second.

[Caller 2]

Where are we going?

[Burt Show Host]

Something doesn't make sense. So she puts GPS in and she realizes, good God, I just went an hour out of my way.

[Caller 3]

Wrong way.

[Caller 4]

Because that's.

[Caller 3]

Then that's two hours detour. Oh, especially with Thanksgiving traffic.

[Burt Show Host]

That is the worst it is when you. That realization that you're going the wrong way and you're pitting your stomach like, what a waste of my life right here.

[Caller 4]

When we did the contest where we took winners out to Las Vegas. The Diamond Dash. The Solomon Brothers Diamond Dash. That's what it was. The bus driver made a mistake leaving Memphis and didn't realize it until he hit North Carolina.

[Caller 3]

Oof.

[Strayer University Announcer]

What?

[Caller 4]

Yeah. You didn't know that?

[Caller 3]

I remember that happening.

[Caller 4]

Yeah. He was supposed to go west, obviously, because they had stops in all these different cities. So they had. They had Graceland, obviously. So they hung out and they saw Graceland and that was cool.

[Caller 2]

And.

[Caller 4]

And then the bus driver.

[Caller 1]

It takes eight or nine hours to get through Tennessee.

[Caller 4]

Oh, yeah, they know.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Caller 4]

It threw us off by a whole day because their next stop was supposed

[Caller 3]

to be like, skip their next stop or something.

[Caller 2]

So.

[Caller 4]

Hey, where are you guys? Well, we're in Memphis again. Alrighty then.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. I didn't know that. I've gotten out of my way before. Like I've been in the right direction, but I was trying to get to a beach location on the east coast and it was, you know, I forgot if it was in South Carolina or It must been South Carolina. But anyway, So I took 85 up to Greenville rather than 20 over. So I. It was probably an extra two and

[Burt Show Host]

a half hours for me to drive

[Caller 1]

then south through South Carolina. So I saw the whole state, which is a beautiful state.

[Burt Show Host]

I think it's more impressive to hear the mile difference. So in your two and a half hours, what are you talking? 120 miles?

[Caller 1]

I'm not good at that, but let's say.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, 120 miles.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. Good morning, Lauren, you're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 2]

Good morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Hi. How far out of your way?

[Caller 2]

Oh, let's see. I lived in Dayton, Ohio, drove to Paducah, Kentucky for work. Coming back, the next sign I see is welcome to Nashville, Tennessee.

[Caller 3]

Oh, whoops.

[Burt Show Host]

So how many miles are we talking about here?

[Caller 2]

I honestly have no idea. I just know I didn't get home until 3:00 in the morning.

[Burt Show Host]

How many hours?

[Caller 2]

It was a good four hours out of my way. In the middle of. In February in a snowstorm. Aw, that's horrible.

[Burt Show Host]

So you have to assume that you're going 60 miles an hour. So that's what, 240 miles out of your way?

[Caller 3]

Probably. I did it one time going from just from Gainesville to Tallahassee when I was a freshman in college. And we were turned around for probably about an hour going back towards Jacksonville instead of towards Tallahassee on I10.

[Caller 1]

And then it's that. That feeling that you have, wait a second, are we going the right way? And then you start looking for the sign, the interstate sign, to see if it says north or south or whatever.

[Caller 3]

For some reason it won't come for like forever.

[Caller 2]

Right, Right.

[Caller 4]

Because you need it.

[Caller 3]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Rebecca, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Hey. I went to the University of Tennessee. Woohoo. And when I was trying to go home, it was eight hours away from Knoxville. My parents dropped me off and they said, come home by yourself. Now, this was before math class and I had never been on the interstate. I spun around 285 for four hours to not figure out how to get off on 85 south to go to Columbus. Could not do it. Went to a Waffle House, finally in tears and asked a guy I said, I will pay you money to take me to Columbus I

[Caller 4]

could use.

[Caller 2]

It was awful. I was a little girl from a small town, never been in the big city, and my family still talks about that. And I'm in my 30s.285 goes east,

[Caller 1]

west, north, and south. And I know it sounds dumb, but when you first move here and if you just get confused, it confuses you,

[Burt Show Host]

things look awfully familiar here.

[Caller 2]

You're like, wait a second.

[Caller 3]

Look, kids.

[Caller 4]

Big Ben. Look, kids. Big Ben.

[Burt Show Host]

Good morning, Jennifer, here on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Hey, I'd like to say I love your show, but I picked up a friend of mine from the airport, and we were supposed to been going to Hilton Head, and we ended up in Alabama. Oh, we went down 85, and we ended up off of the exit, the first exit in Alabama, before we realized we went the wrong way.

[Caller 4]

Whoops.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Burt Show Host]

How many hours difference is that?

[Caller 2]

Oh, my gosh. Let's see. It takes about four hours to get to Hilton Head. We got there in about nine, 10 hours.

[Caller 4]

So what are y' all doing?

[Caller 1]

State different.

[Caller 4]

Just talking and hanging out and not paying attention.

[Caller 2]

It was funny because I had my girls, my two daughters in the backseat. My oldest one's 13. And she kept saying, mom, we're headed to Montgomery. I'm like, oh, that's all right, Sarah. We're fine. We're going the right way. Mom, we're in Alabama. And she's like, you should have listened to me. Like, yeah, I guess I should have. Because then we had to go all the way across Georgia to even get to South Carolina.

[Burt Show Host]

So we had about 300 mile difference there.

[Caller 2]

Oh, yeah, it was bad.

[Caller 1]

That is so funny because, I mean, Atlanta. Yeah, that's so funny. She's 13, and so she will always, you know.

[Burt Show Host]

Anyway, good morning, Jessica. You're part of the bird show. Hi.

[Caller 2]

Hi. When I was 16, right after I got my driver's license, a bunch of my friends decided we were going to go to Graceland. And let's just say I was mine to be driving. A friend of mine was navigating and he's like, go here, go here. And we didn't realize until I got pulled over by a state trooper and Mississippi, that we were going west instead of northwest.

[Caller 3]

And you're like, dude, I totally had

[Caller 2]

the map upside down.

[Caller 1]

Exactly.

[Caller 2]

It was horrible.

[Burt Show Host]

And you're driving 15 miles an hour.

[Caller 4]

So did the cops say to you by any chance? All right, kids, where are you from? We're from Atlanta. Where are you headed? We're headed to Graceland, Memphis. He's like, by way of where?

[Burt Show Host]

The bird show.

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