Podcast Summary: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: How To Keep Your Sex Life From Going Stale
Date: December 18, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (Jessica, Jeff, et al.)
Duration of Main Segment: 01:03–12:14
Overview
In this episode, The Bert Show tackles the topic of how to keep your sex life exciting and fresh, especially for long-term couples who feel things are getting routine or "stale." Inspired by a listener’s concern about her husband’s renewed interest in sex after visits to a strip club, the team opens the phones and brainstorms creative ways couples can reignite the spark, blending humor, real talk, and a flurry of genuine suggestions from listeners.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Caller’s Dilemma: When "Routine" Turns Into "Stale"
- [01:03] Bert recounts a recent call from "Jackie," who noticed her husband became more sexually interested after visiting strip clubs, leading her to feel insecure.
- “What we figured out while we were talking to Jackie was it had very little to do with the strip clubs and just all about routine.” – Bert [01:43]
- Main Insight: The root issue is monotony, not attraction to others.
2. Spicing Things Up: Panel Banter & Humor
- The hosts riff playfully on the word “spicy,” joking about computer-generated voices and playful, sexy talk.
- Jessica riffs: “I thought I've already used spice. What else can I use?” [02:11]
- Jeff jokes: “Hey, do you want me to get spicy?” [02:34]
- They stress the importance of active effort from both partners.
3. Listener Solutions: Real Advice From Real Couples
A. Watch Adult Videos Together
- [02:47] Caller Shamika/Kimberly: “I think that they should watch some adult videos.”
- [02:52] Bert expresses concern: graphic scenes can be a turn-off.
- “Sometimes they just get so close up and so graphic that it can take you right out of the mood...” – Bert [02:52]
B. Experimenting With New Locations
- [03:25] Shamika/Kimberly: “We like weird places.” [04:07]
- Public or unconventional spaces—parks, cars, even strip clubs—can reignite excitement.
- “I actually went to a strip club with him and it was my idea and I think I was more turned on than he was!” – Shamika/Kimberly [04:22]
C. Collaborative “Bucket Lists”
- Listeners emphasize mutual conversation to create a list of shared fantasies or desires.
D. Borrowing From the Past
- Jessica: Recapturing that “sneaky” excitement of sneaking around when young, like intimate moments in the car, can trigger old excitement. [04:42–05:24]
E. Subtle Hints & Magazines
- [05:24] Bert: Leaves Cosmopolitan articles open to make suggestions without direct conversation—a light, accessible way to communicate desires.
F. Sensual Massages & Daytime Teasing
- [06:05] Caller Kimberly: “A sensual massage. You know, get some oil or some lotion, dim the lights and...do a little sensual massage. Always works.”
- She also advocates for “a little oral pleasure while driving” and mid-day “naughty sweet nothings.” [06:05–06:44]
4. The Role of Novelty and Risk
- Creativity is repeatedly cited as the antidote to monotony.
- “You have to be creative anywhere...” – Shamika/Kimberly [04:21]
- Public places, empty houses, “role play” and “private dancer” scenarios suggested as ways to introduce excitement and playfulness.
5. Male Listener’s Advice: Beyond the Bedroom
- [08:26] Nate: Suggests non-sexual intimacy as a pathway—shampooing his partner’s hair, giving baths, pedicures, shoe shopping, planning outings.
- “I found out how to give them pedicures...sexy clothing...picnics...experiencing new things together.” – Nate [08:27]
- The hosts are impressed:
- Jessica: “There is no way you’re single!” [09:13]
- Burt jokes: “You talk a good game, bro.” [09:43]
6. Role Playing & The Power of Imagination
- [10:13] Christina: Advocates for role-playing and playful “private dancer” scenarios at home.
- “Well, why doesn’t she be his private dancer?” – Christina [10:34]
7. Listener Chemistry & Running Gags
- Nate’s useful and charming suggestions spark a “date Nate” wave, with co-hosts pretending to orchestrate a singles page for him.
- “I mean, I’ve never heard of a guy say that he learned how to do pedicures and did pedicures on his woman.” – Jessica [11:50]
- Playful, flirtatious energy keeps the discussion upbeat and accessible for listeners.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
“Sometimes...you just have to sit down, come up with ideas that turn both of you on...It’s just like starting all over again.”
– Shamika/Kimberly [03:25] -
“If you know that about yourself, you shouldn’t [try dirty talk] because sometimes...can take you right out.”
– Jessica [06:46] -
“You play with a girl’s feet. You got her. Got her.”
– Nate [09:58] -
“There is no way you’re single!...all these guys need to take notes.”
– Jessica about Nate [09:13, 11:50] -
“Well, why doesn’t she be his private dancer?”
– Christina [10:34]
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Time | Topic/Quote | |----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:03 | Jackie’s call recap; problem is a stale routine, not strip clubs | | 02:47 | First major caller: watch adult videos together, novelty in intimacy | | 03:25–04:22 | Creative ideas: “weird places,” public locations, making a shared list | | 05:24 | Bert’s Cosmo magazine suggestion for subtle communication | | 06:05 | Sensual massages, playful mid-day gestures | | 07:28 | Risky tryst in an empty house; “role play” scenario emerges | | 08:26 | Nate’s tips: non-sexual intimacy, shopping, outings, wine tasting | | 10:13 | Christina on role play and playful “private dancer” scenarios | | 09:13, 11:50 | Co-hosts amazed at Nate’s single status; laughter & playful banter |
Tone and Style
- Upbeat, candid, and genuinely funny.
- Inclusive and practical, blending light-hearted teasing with actionable advice.
- Relatable, with hosts and callers sharing personal anecdotes.
Takeaways: How Listeners Can Keep Their Sex Lives Fresh
- Communicate desires openly, and make a shared, creative list of fantasies.
- Introduce novelty—try new locations, moments, and acts that feel “spicy.”
- Experiment with role play or create fun, playful scenarios.
- Focus on non-sexual intimacy as well—massage, hair washing, shopping, and pampering.
- Approach the subject with humor and teamwork—it's about enjoying each other, not just “fixing” something!
For more, tune in, join the conversation, or call The Bert Show!
