The Bert Show – Episode SUMMARY

Title: Vault: Hygiene Tips From Women To Men
Date: November 7, 2025
Host(s): Jen Hobby, Jeff, Phil (plus Bert Show cast)
Theme: Women reveal the overlooked hygiene details men must fix if they want to impress (and hook up) – a candid, funny, and practical guide.

Episode Overview

In this light-hearted and honest segment, the Bert Show crew discusses the seven body parts men often neglect but women definitely notice. Aimed at helping men "hook up" with confidence, the cast provides both personal anecdotes and no-nonsense advice on the essential (and sometimes surprising) hygiene details that can make or break a first impression. The discussion is funny, real, and peppered with genuine moments, as well as practical tips any guy can start following today.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Eyebrows

• [01:46] Jen: "You should never, never, never have a unibrow... If they're completely overgrown, you can go in and get them trimmed up a little bit. You could even probably trim them yourself."
• [02:18] Jeff admits to getting his eyebrows done: "It's in the plaza where the Whole Foods is in Sandy Springs."
• Commentary on how common it is for men to groom brows and the initial embarrassment, but it's worth it and normal.

2. Nails (Fingernails especially)

• [03:25] Jen: "She's gonna notice if you've got long, long fingernails, if you got dirt underneath them, if they're yellow, if they're hideous. Long, dirty nails just are a sign to a woman that you normally aren't touching a woman."
• Both men and women should mind nail hygiene; it's a fast giveaway of self-care.

3. Dry Skin

• [04:39] Jen: "It's okay for you to have moisturizer, don't you think?"
• [04:59] Jeff, feeling self-conscious: "Maybe I'm ashy."
• SPF moisturizer is extra recommended to protect skin.

4. Jacked Up Feet

• [05:06] Jen: "If you got jacked up toes and you got jacked up toenails and they're dirty and they're crusty, we notice them. And that can be a definite turnoff."
• The case for pedicures, told with humor about persuading resistant partners.
• [06:06] Jeff's advice for getting men comfortable: "Maybe the first time you need to do it is you do it like at a real nice salon... For 30 minutes to an hour, there is going to be a woman focused on giving him physical attention. And every guy likes that."

5. Ear and Nose Hair

• [07:32] Jen: "It's the equivalent if we look and you've got nose hair popping out and ear hair popping out. Same thing as women having a mustache."
• [07:56] Phil’s solution: "Groom yourself."

6. Yellow Teeth

• [07:57] Jen: "Yellow teeth are a huge turnoff for women. So, you know, get some of those Crest White strips or some whitening toothpaste or something like that... Take care of it."

7. Back Hair

• [08:24] Jen: "Even if you got a shirt on, if you got a tuft of hair sticking out of the back of your collar, she's gonna notice it and it's gonna definitely diminish your chances of hooking up."
• Entertaining recount of seeing "a fur turtleneck coming out" on a diner.
• [08:50] Jen: "If you got that, you know, creeping out the top of your shirt, she's totally going to notice it and think about what it looks like with your shirt off."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Men Hesitant About Grooming:
  "It's not embarrassing as a guy to go in and get your eyebrows done." — Jen [02:54]
  "I'll admit it, the first time or two, it was like a little traumatic. But then...you'll pass another guy or something. So, like, I agree with this list." — Jeff [02:56]

• Making Hygiene ‘Sexy’:
  "Because if you, as a guy, if you go in to get some of this stuff done, you will eventually notice other guys in there. And then you're like, okay, well, this is cool." — Jeff [03:09]

• On Nail Care Judgment:
  "Long, dirty nails just are a sign to a woman that you normally aren't touching a woman." — Jen [03:25]

• Motivating Hesitant Men:
  "For 30 minutes to an hour, there is going to be a woman focused on giving him physical attention...and every guy likes that." — Jeff [06:41]

• On Realizations:
  "There are a lot of guys who went 0 for 7 who are really going to have a hard time going out this weekend." — Jeff [08:59]
  "You don't have a hard time going out. This. We can just fix it." — Jen [09:09]

• Final Recap:
  "Eyebrows, nails, dry skin, jacked up feet, ear and nose hair, yellow teeth and back hair. Seven things you guys gotta take care of. Cause we notice, we pay attention." — Jen [09:20]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Description | |-----------|---------|-------------| | 01:46 | Eyebrows | Why men should mind brow grooming | | 03:25 | Nails | Why nail care matters for attraction | | 04:39 | Dry Skin | Normalize moisturizer for men | | 05:06 | Feet | Pedicures, crusty toes = no go | | 07:32 | Ear/Nose Hair | The mustache equivalent | | 07:57 | Yellow Teeth | Whitening tips, quick fixes | | 08:24 | Back Hair | “Fur turtlenecks” and how women notice them |

Tone & Style

The episode is classic Bert Show: playful, unfiltered, and practical. The hosts banter openly, tease each other, but ultimately deliver real advice with an inviting, non-judgmental tone, making it easy for men to listen, laugh, and (hopefully) learn.

Bottom Line:
Women notice the details. Men—take care of your eyebrows, nails, skin (including feet!), ear/nose hair, teeth, and back hair. It’ll help your confidence—and your chances—this weekend and beyond!