Vault: "I don't want my daughter to be fat"

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: I Don't Want My Daughter to Be Fat"

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delves into the deeply personal topic of body image, weight, and generational cycles—sparked by the reading of a poignant article titled "I Don't Want My Daughter to Be Fat." The hosts and listeners share candid, unfiltered perspectives about the challenges of raising children in a weight-conscious society, the role parents play as role models, and the cultural and psychological impact of early body image awareness.

The episode mixes real-life anecdotes, lively panel discussion, and emotional listener calls to explore how parents' attitudes and behaviors shape children's feelings about food, exercise, and self-esteem.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction: The Article Reading

[01:07 - 03:38]

• Host introduces the central topic by reading an article written by a mother concerned about her daughter inheriting generational weight issues.
• The author recounts her family’s history of being overweight, her own struggles with body image, and the behaviors and insecurities those struggles bred.
• Now a mother herself, the author expresses anxiety about her daughter potentially following in her footsteps—worrying that her child might be ashamed, suffer health issues, or act out to be liked.

Notable Quote (Host, reading from the article):
“I worry that when she gets older, she’ll be ashamed of my weight, just like I was ashamed of my mom’s. I worry she’ll have a similar weight problem and actually and act slutty just to be liked. I worry she’ll have health issues. Hell, I worry she’ll just be unhappy.” [02:49]

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Panel Response: Parental Influence on Body Image

[03:38 - 04:40]

• Female Panelist 1 responds with empathy, pointing out that body image insecurity isn’t exclusive to any weight category, citing both "insecure skinny girls" and "overly muscular" women.
• She emphasizes the importance of parental modeling: “She’s the role model for her daughter. ... Her question is, is my daughter going to be insecure about her weight? Well, yes, if you are constantly criticizing your own. Yes, she will because she’s learning from you how to be a woman.” [04:20]

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Caller Experiences: Parental Choices & Early Intervention

[04:44 - 07:53]

• Caller 1 (voice disguised): Shares how concerns about her 5-year-old daughter’s eating habits led her to make dietary and exercise changes, emphasizing small, consistent steps.
• The panel discusses the inescapable influence of parental habits on children: if parents aren’t leading by example in nutrition and activity, children are unlikely to develop healthy habits.
• The host highlights the lack of broadly available nutrition education:
  “Most people don’t know how to eat properly. ... So teaching your kids is almost impossible. So I’m not in school now, but I hope they're doing a better job of it now than they were when I was a kid.” [06:47]

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Teaching Healthy Eating Positively

[07:22 - 07:53]

• Female Panelist 1 suggests that the approach to introducing healthy foods matters:
  “Instead of it, you know, if you eat this, you won’t get fat, as opposed to, hey, doesn’t this taste good?” [07:41]
• Lighthearted banter acknowledges the occasional place of treats like Little Debbie snack cakes.

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The Problem of Public Commentary and Body Awareness in Young Children

[07:55 - 09:16]

• Caller 2 recounts heart-breaking stories of strangers calling her four-year-old daughter “fat,” with the child subsequently expressing discomfort about her body.
• The panel is shocked by how young children, especially girls, are already affected by negative body talk and societal standards.
• Panel members and the host mention how shows like "Bratz" can reinforce harmful body standards even at pre-school ages:
  “These are for four year olds. Three and four year olds can start watching the Bratz, so they get their body image just from the shows they’re watching.” [08:56]

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Cultural & Family Perspectives on Weight

[09:16 - 10:40]

• Tatiana, a caller, describes generational weight challenges in her African American family, pointing out how cultural norms can downplay health concerns and glorify being "big and sexy."
• She expresses a desire for her child to accept herself, but not be complacent about health risks associated with obesity:
  “Our family doesn’t seem like that. They just say, you know, big and sexy. ... But no, I’m just big.” [10:32]

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Parental Self-Talk and Its Influence

[10:40 - 12:15]

• Stacy (the host’s wife) shares that their seven-year-old son has asked, “Does this make me look fat?”—evidence that body image awareness starts early and affects all genders.
• Stacy takes responsibility, admitting her own self-critical comments have likely influenced her son:
  “I am constantly worried about my weight. ... I can’t do that anymore. I’m making them. It is our fault. It is our responsibility.” [11:41]
• The panel underscores how children “are listening to everything and watching you all the time and processing and judging.” [12:15]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• On generational body image cycles:
  “I was always embarrassed by my mom’s girth and yet I was chubby too. I was teased about it constantly and I developed a pretty warped body image.”
  (Host, reading article) [01:58]

• Critique of parental influence:
  “She’s learning from you how to be a woman.”
  (Female Panelist 1) [04:20]

• Cultural perspective on weight:
  “In the African American community, you know, weight is not ... A heavier weight is not as looked upon as Sally. ... Our family ... just say, you know, big and sexy. And I’m just big.”
  (Tatiana, Caller 2) [09:22, 10:32]

• Responsibility of parents’:
  “If you’re not gonna be the lead example, eventually they’re gonna follow in your footsteps.”
  (Female Panelist 1) [06:26]

• Early onset of body image issues:
  “She’s told me that she didn’t want to wear certain things because it makes her look ... her belly look big.”
  (Caller 2) [08:23]

• Influence of parent self-talk:
  “I can’t do that anymore. I’m making them. It is our fault. It is our responsibility.”
  (Stacy) [11:41]

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Key Takeaways

• Parental Modeling Matters: Consistent self-criticism about weight and appearance by parents is quickly noticed—and internalized—by children as young as four.
• Teaching Nutrition Is Generational: Many adults struggle to pass on good habits because they themselves lacked education in nutrition and healthy living.
• Culture and Media Play Roles: Societal narratives and even children’s programming influence young children’s body image, sometimes harmfully.
• Language Is Powerful: Even well-intended comments or jokes about body size can have lasting, negative effects on children’s self-esteem.
• Change Starts At Home: Several callers and panelists agree sustained, positive change comes from parents practicing what they preach—modeling balanced eating and self-acceptance.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:07] Article Reading: Setting the Theme
• [03:38] Panel Reaction: Parental Influence on Body Image
• [04:44] Caller Experiences: Changing Eating Habits for Kids
• [07:22] Introducing Healthy Eating—Framing Matters
• [07:55] Caller Story: Impact of Public Commentary on Young Girls
• [09:16] Cultural Perspectives: Weight in Family & Community
• [10:40] Realization: Children Imitate Parental Self-Image
• [11:41] Taking Responsibility: Parent’s Impact Admitted

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In this raw and revealing episode, The Bert Show creates a space for honest dialogue about the sensitive and pervasive issue of weight and body image within families, highlighting the far-reaching influence of parents’ attitudes and actions on their children’s emotional and physical well-being.

Transcript

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[Host (possibly Bert)]

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[Venmo Advertiser 2]

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[Host (possibly Bert)]

And to me, it didn't strike to my heart because I'm not a woman technically, but I thought in reading it that it may be more impactful. You guys, women would have more of an opinion on this than guys. Okay? So if you want to get in on this 404-741-Q100 the article is called I Don't Want My Daughter to be Fat. Okay, all right, and I'll post it online at q100atlanta.com when my mother and I enrolled my 2 year old daughter in gymnastics, I told the teacher that we hoped the class would help break the cycle of fat ass in our family. The instructor laughed and I didn't mean to be funny. As far back as I can trace, the women on my mother's side of the family have been overweight. My mom was heavy, over 200 pounds for much of her life. Her mom was heavy and I heard my great grandmother was heavy too. As a kid, I was always embarrassed by my mom's girth and yet I was chubby too. I was teased about it constantly and I developed a pretty warped body image. When puberty hit, I started to suffer from what I like to call Monica Lewinsky syndrome. I made up for my full figure by being funny, sexy and giving really good. You know what I'm talking about? It's not like I was unattractive. I had had a lot of boyfriends, but I do think that part of what they were attracted to was the fact that I was easy. And I was easy because I felt like I couldn't stand not to be. As I grew up, I started to get a handle on my Eden and my self image. Although my weight went up and down throughout my teens and twenties, I learned to love my body at any weight and consequently was a lot pickier about who I shared my body with once I had a baby and got married. Yes, in that order. I I got pretty complacent about my figure. I'm now heavier than I've ever been, and I'd be okay with that if it weren't for my daughter. I worry that when she gets older, she'll be ashamed of my weight, just like I was ashamed of my mom's. I worry she'll have a similar weight problem and actually and act slutty just to be liked. I worry she'll have health issues. Hell, I worry she'll just be unhappy. So far, my daughter is the spitting image of her father. And he's skinny. He's the kind of person who forgets to eat lunch. Feel free to curse at him if you want. She says she does this every day. He can also chow down on his fried foods for a week and not gain a pound. I'm hoping she continues to take after him, but in the interim, I'm doing the best I can to feed her healthy foods and encourage exercise. Two things my own folks didn't do for me and two things that I still don't do for myself. And yet, I wonder, if she still turns out heavy, will she hate me? Or worse, will she hate herself?

[Female Panelist 1]

Wow. I think that has to do with her. Like, I think the first thoughts that came to mind as you read that because, I mean, we've talked over and over again about, yes, women have image body image issues because we are judged first and foremost on our looks before anything else. But I think that I've learned not to associate insecurity with weight, you know, because I think that so many of us do. But I think I've known far more insecure skinny girls than heavier girls. Because I think that there's the. Because there's a part of me as I've grown older because I'm attracted to women. The women I'm attracted to are not the skinniest ones, because when I see someone who is overly muscular or really skinny, I think they have a Complex. They are obsessed with their weight and I don't think that's attractive because I think that that's a sign of insecurity. So I think that she's the role model for her daughter. Just like my mother was a role model for me not to worry about aging. She, you know, her question is if my daughter gonna be insecure about her weight. Well, yes, if you are constantly criticizing your own. Yes, she will because she's learning from you how to be a woman.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

404-741-Q100. Hey Ashley, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 1]

Hey. Hey.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

What's going on?

[Caller 1]

I was just calling to tell you that my daughter, she is five and I started to notice that she started to pick up on the weight gain. Like she's really tall for her age, but she started to pick up on the weight gain as well. So we modified her eating habits. Like she doesn't get as much of the cakes and snacks and stuff, like the little baby snacks and stuff. And we put her into a stalker to help run off all the weight. Well, the exercise, like she's not overweight at all. But like I noticed that it started to get that way and I was never taught to eat properly whenever I was growing up. So it's something that concerns me a lot.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Are you healthy or are you overweight?

[Caller 1]

I am.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

You are overweight?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Because Jessica has one of her friends who lives out in Arizona is a bigger woman and had her five year old daughter at one point doing a modified version of Atkins.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Oh, come on.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Not kidding.

[Caller 1]

We just incorporate more fruits and vegetables versus like the snack cakes and candy and stuff like that. And she, we modified the TV time. Like it's nothing drastic. It's actually the steps that, you know, we need to take for our children. And at first we wasn't on that path. I was just, I was feeding her the same things that, you know, I ate as a kid. You know, we didn't really keep a lot of healthy snacks in the house when I was a child and so I just stopped buying all the unhealthy snacks.

[Venmo Advertiser 2]

Well, I definitely agree. Putting your child on a nutrition plan young, having them eating healthy foods, especially at a young age, giving, getting them involved in exercise. But if you're not gonna be the lead example, eventually they're gonna follow in your footsteps. So I, I think as a parent, if you're gonna have your child do all the nutrition stuff, eat fresh foods, eat good meals, you need to do the same thing for yourself because they're just Gonna learn from you.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You know what the problem with this really is is that I think people, anybody in here our age, I think wasn't very well educated when it comes to nutrition. You know, now that I do the healthy trim commercials, I'm getting all sorts of emails from people that have zero idea how to eat properly. Look, if you know how to eat properly, you don't need healthy trim. The problem is most people don't know how to eat properly. You don't know a good carb from a bad carb. You didn't take the nutrition classes in college and in high school and you weren't interested in it. So teaching your kids is almost impossible. So I'm not in school now, but I hope they're doing a better job of it now than they were when I was a kid.

[Female Panelist 1]

And going on further with that, I think if you teach your ch, I think it's how you introduce your children to these healthy foods too. Like, I mean, fruits, vegetables, you know, those are, those are pretty healthy foods that you should be feeding your child more of than the like she said, like the little Debbie snack cakes and stuff. Nothing against the Little Debbie snack cakes.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Oh, no, they got their place.

[Female Panelist 1]

I mean, come on now. But I think instead of it, you know, it's how you introduce it. If you're introducing it is, you know, if you eat this, you won't get fat. As opposed to, hey, doesn't this taste good? I mean, that's a part of it too.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Hey, Lynn, good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller 2]

Good morning. I love your show.

[Female Panelist 1]

Thank you.

[Caller 2]

My daughter is four now, but this has been going on her whole life. We've had complete strangers come up and call her fat to her face.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Oh, at four years old?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

This happened within probably the last six months.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Are they doing it in a cute little way like, oh, look at the chubby little girl?

[Caller 2]

Or is it like, no, oh, you're so fat.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Well, to a four year old there's no such thing as a cute little. Well, look at the cute little chubby little girl.

[Caller 2]

Really started to take an effect on her. She's told me that she didn't want to wear certain things because it makes her look her belly look big.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Four years old.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Well, if she's ready to be high school skinny, I got a phone number for her.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

My little healthy trip.

[Female Panelist 1]

Yeah. That's so ridiculous. My first night at 4 years old. That was not even on my radar at 4.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

I don't think that's so uncommon. Like, Hayden has come Home. He's seven now and I hear him talking about being skinny or him referring to his two year old brother as fat.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Really?

[Venmo Advertiser 2]

Because some of the TV shows for kids, especially girls, are making them that way. There's one Bratz show that has the girl getting a nose job. And these are for four year olds. Three and four year olds can start watching the Bratz, so they get their body image just from the shows they're watching. So of course they know what fat is and what's going to look good. And they're comparing their bodies already to other four year olds.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Here's Tatiana. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Good morning. Love you guys.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Thank you. Loving you right back, darling.

[Caller 2]

I could have wrote that article myself. It's exactly like my family cycle. I guess in the African American community, you know, weight is not A heavier weight is not as looked upon as Sally. And I'm overweight. I'm 100 pounds more heavier than my husband pre pregnancy because I'm pregnant right now. But I've been on a campaign for the last eight months. My child is due next month. You know, to really get myself back in shape once the child comes, I'm stocking up on healthy trim. So once the baby is here, I can get back high school skinny because I am afraid that she'll go through everything that I went through. I was £250 in the fifth grade and it wasn't a huge problem in my family. Nobody said, you know, hey, this is a problem. And they feed, you know, I keep telling them, you know, you're not going to feed my child mashed potatoes at six months. And, and that's just how our culture is. And my family in particular about weight. A little weight never hurt anybody. So we just have a heavy, heavy family. And I don't want her to come into that and see, you know, I want her to accept her weight but not say, you know, being £250 is a problem.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Right, right.

[Caller 2]

And our family doesn't seem like that. They just say, you know, big and sexy. And I'm just big and sexy. But no, I'm just big.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Here is my wife Stacy wants in on this. Hey, Stace.

[Stacy]

Hey. I didn't know if you remembered, like how Hayden lately, I don't know, last couple of months or whatever, he'll put something on and he'll go, does this make me look fat?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

No, I haven't heard him say that.

[Stacy]

Yeah, he'll get dressed and he'll come into me and he'll be like, this shirt makes me look fat or this. And I'm like, and, dude, okay, we won't even let him take his clothes off in front of people because he's so skinny.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

He's so thin. Like, I mean, in our house, it's the other way around. It's like, you gotta gain weight, man. Gain weight. Gain weight. Cause I'm really nervous that Defax is gonna knock on the door, and I can't do that again. I've got a folder already.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

You're in somebody's car right now, and they're just driving around.

[Female Panelist 1]

Two things about that. One is because he's seven, but another's because he's a boy.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

You know what I mean?

[Female Panelist 1]

So that's also disturbing. Cause, I mean, it's disturbing enough for a woman to do that, but now it's boys and girls that are saying that.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Yeah, this body conscious stuff, I mean, it's really happening really early. Stacy's talking about our 7 year old, but we took calls from women that were talking about their four year olds already, man.

[Female Panelist 1]

It's never too wow.

[Stacy]

Well, the thing that's bothersome about it to me was when he said it for the first time, I was like, this is my fault because I am constantly worried about my weight. I constantly say to Bert, does this make me look fat? Do I look fat in this? And I'm like, I can't do that anymore. I'm making them. It is our fault. It is our responsibility. I felt horrible about it. I just found that I'm not doing that anymore. I'm just trying to be comfortable in my own skin, and it is what it is, and you can't have that. I mean, this kid shouldn't think he looks fat ever.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

I know. And you think your kids aren't listening, man, they are listening to everything and watching you all the time and processing and judging.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

Maybe Dovette will give Stacy and Hayden, like, a deal, like, if they go in together. Come on, Hayden can, you know, encourage mommy, and Mommy can encourage Hayden. Come on, Hayden. Do it till you puke. You can do it.

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You can.

[Host or Co-host (possibly Jason Concepcion)]

You don't want to be fat, do you?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

I'll see you, darling. Bye.

[Caller 1]

Bye.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You're on the vert show.

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[Host (possibly Bert)]

Nae pro desk de los Try to lista de materiales escrita.

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