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Radio Host
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Jeff
The Bird Show.
Radio Host
This is the week that UGA students are taking their finals here, guys, remember.
Becky
Oh, God.
Radio Host
Let's go back quite a ways here to our colleges. You know that last couple of weeks of the semester and how completely stressed out you are. Papers and finals and sometimes two and three finals on the same day.
Becky
And you know how it's always like, let's say the month before finals comes. You tell yourself, okay, this is gonna be different. You know, I'm really gonna do well.
Melody
I'm really gonna go out.
Becky
Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna set up a system in which I'm going to do this right. And then by the time finals comes, your brain is so fried that you say, screw it, I'll. Whatever. Whatever's on the paper is all I can do. That's all I can give you. And just see, you know, and then you Know it's the odds on what your grade's gonna be.
Radio Host
Did you do this where you tried to space out like you're cramming because you knew like you had a test on Tuesday, but you had like three on Thursday so you'd only study for the test for. And then on Wednesday you use that time to study for all three of the other tests?
Becky
Or how about the theory that your brain will absorb more information if you get up at 2 o' clock in the morning before the exam? Right. Did you ever hear this theory that you get some sleep but then you get up about two or three o' clock in the morning and then you study right before the exam? Apparently you're supposed to retain more knowledge or some crap like that. I tried that too.
Melody
You're stressing out so much while you're cramming that you read the same page 10 times and you're like, God, I gotta remember this. God, I gotta remember this. I gotta memorize it. I gotta. And then you're like, okay, I've read 10 times and all I'm doing is stressing about having to memorize it. I'm not actually memorizing anything.
Jeff
I would love to give people finals like 72 hours after they actually take the finals.
Radio Host
Nothing.
Jeff
Because you wouldn't have anything left at all. I mean, the minute it leaves your brain and gets down on the paper like, oh yeah, I remember they had the overthrow of Russia.
Caller
Okay, got that.
Jeff
Gone. Like you write it down.
Caller
Gone out of the head, man, it's.
Jeff
Going from brain to arm to hand to pen to God, forever empty.
Radio Host
All right, we're going to need your help on this. If you successfully pulled all nighters and took your finals the next day, what we'd like you to do here is create an idiot's guide to pulling an all nighter for any of the students that over the next couple of days have to pull these all nighters and cram for their finals. And I know some of you are going to call up and say you're encouraging students to wait till the last minute.
Jeff
Well, it's the last week of finals, you dumbass. Shut the hell up.
Radio Host
And they're going to do it anyway. Since there was the first college. You know what, right? All nighters happen. We all wait to the very last minute. So Shaky phone club.
Jeff
I will. I'll start it off with a hint that I learned the hard way. Because going to college I, or even I've never been a fan of coffee, never had, never drank coffee, never. I mean the most caffeine I would have would be, you know, like a soda every now and again. And I don't even, even to this day. Like, if Bert sees me getting a soda out of the vending machine, he know, he's like, ooh, late night last night. Because I don't, I just don't drink caffeine. So. Yeah. And I was never a big soda fan, so, like, it was always juice and water. So I decided to take one of them caffeine pills after, after cramming once.
Radio Host
They look so small. Like, how could this possibly get me? Keep me up all night.
Jeff
Well, not only did it keep me up, but I practically crapped my pants of my history pre1812 final. So you have to remember that not only will it give you a nice buzz, but I have heard the rumors of what coffee does to your, you.
Radio Host
Know, it jacks you up your metabolism for sure.
Melody
Right?
Jeff
So I took the pill, went into the class and got, you know, I was, you know, halfway through an essay on the, you know, us revolution or something, and all of a sudden, hello.
Radio Host
So your, your addition to the Idiot's guide to pulling an all nighter would.
Jeff
Be don't poop yourself.
Radio Host
Well, if you have something a little bit better than that. 404-741-1005. So you would say if you don't normally take caffeine, that's not the night to start. Or at least keep it to a couple of cups.
Jeff
I will even expand on it. Don't drastically alter your either. Eating, drinking, whatever habits. Like if you normally, like if you've heard some rumor that eat a big meal before, you know, like, don't just try to stay as normal as you can. If you have to stay up all night, do it. Try to maintain everything as status quo as possible. Like, you know, runners aren't supposed to buy new shoes right before a big race, that type of thing.
Becky
I think I'm going to keep this right on the caffeine though, because I think for exams, like going on what Jeff said, it can come out the other end. I had a friend who never drank caffeine and made a pot of coffee and drank the whole pot before the exam and puked her way to the exam. Yeah. Because it upset her stomach so badly. So I'm going to just stick with if you don't drink caffeine, don't start now.
Radio Host
Stay away from it. Becky. Hi, guys. Hi. We're gonna take you off the voice disguiser. What are you gonna add to the Idiot's Guide to Pulling an All Nighter for finals.
Caller
I would read my notes out and tape them. Read them out loud and tape record them and then just play them over and over again all night. I would put my boombox on repeat and just keep going all night.
Radio Host
So as you were sleeping, you thought subliminally you were getting those messages in your head so you'd keep them up all night.
Caller
Yeah. It works. It has worked for every class I've ever taken. That's all I've ever done. And you graduated from University of Florida.
Radio Host
Good morning, Micah.
Caller
Hi. How are you doing?
Radio Host
Good. And yourself?
Caller
I'm doing great. I'm a big fan. Listen to you every chance I get.
Radio Host
Thank you very much.
Caller
Well, I just want to tell you I'm an architecture student at Southern Polytech. Okay. Pull an all nighter two, three times a week on a good week.
Becky
Okay.
Caller
Yeah. So I've learned from experience, if you're pulling an all nighter and let's say you got a class at 8 o' clock in the morning and you think you want to pull.
Melody
Oh, I don't know.
Caller
I'll go home and get an hour's sleep. Don't do it.
Becky
So if you're up, just stay up all night is what you're saying.
Caller
If you're up, stay up all night. You will fall asleep in your. During your final. You have a better chance of staying awake and passing your final if you don't go to sleep.
Radio Host
I agree with that.
Becky
Also, I agree with that. I did that before I forgot what it was like some science class or something. And I did the let me just take a little nap. And I ended up running because he was. The professor was really strict about you can't be late or whatever. So I ran across campus in my night shirt. Like I threw a pair of jeans on and put my hair up in a ponytail. Look wretched. But I got to class on time and he laughed at me when he had me in the exam because obviously I had slept right up to the time.
Radio Host
And don't start playing those mind games with yourself. Like at 3:30 or 4 in the morning where you go, you know what? I'll just lie on the couch for 15 minutes. 15 minutes is three hours and you're gonna miss your final. Good morning, Autumn. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.
Jeff
Hey.
Caller
I actually had my final yesterday in.
Radio Host
What and at what school?
Caller
Georgia State.
Radio Host
Okay.
Caller
And yeah, I totally crammed the night before, but then I had to go to work Monday, so I got to school early yesterday and me and one of my friends, we had this huge essay question that we had to memorize. And she's one of those teachers that wants you to memorize every detail or she marks the whole thing wrong. So we sat there and we kept calling back the essay question to each other, like reciting it out loud and like rewriting it over and over and over again.
Radio Host
So you memorize your essay questions?
Caller
Yeah, and I memorized it all for the whole, for the test. But today I couldn't tell you any of it. But it got me through the test.
Radio Host
That's the crappy thing about cramming is you're not going to read like Jeff said. I mean as soon as the test is over, it's gone, it's out of the pencil, out of the pen, gone.
Melody
You know what always worked for me was flashcards. I know it sounds so elementary school, but when you had a lot of vocabulary to remember or, or like just a lot of like little facts to remember. In different classes I always did flashcards cause I'm a visual learner. So if I could see like the big word on one side and the meaning on the other, I could somehow recall that when I was at the test. So that definitely helped with all nighters cause it was like a way to like actually write it out and that way you're kind of learning and then be able to visually remember it and flip it.
Jeff
There's Jen Hobby somehow evolving crafts into what she's doing.
Melody
Yes, and markers and colors. Yes, very fun.
Radio Host
404-741-1005 it's the idiot's to cramming for a test or you know, pulling your.
Jeff
All nighter and all the words that she had on the vocabulary cards had that special sorority with the dots at the end of every, like on the end it had the little big, the big dots at the end of every.
Radio Host
Angle so that smiley faces over the eyes, right.
Jeff
And they're all very cheerful and there's.
Becky
Somehow glitter involved and there's little daisies all around it too.
Jeff
The important word. She wrote the word with glue and then sprinkled glitter on it.
Radio Host
Good morning.
Melody
Really important ones, right?
Radio Host
All the hits. Q100.
Caller
Good Morning Berkshire.
Becky
How are y'?
Caller
All?
Radio Host
Good, how are you?
Caller
I'm good. Okay. I know that this last week I've been taking finals and the big thing that I was doing, I was stocking up on energy drinks.
Becky
Uh huh.
Caller
Like all through the night and somehow or another I was still hyper in the morning. So I'm like skipping the class and trying to get my, you know, test done, but it seems to work. I don't know, maybe I'm add and it just reacts that way.
Becky
So energy drinks is your suggestion?
Caller
Yeah, energy drinks through the night and you'll be set for the morning.
Jeff
I'd love to.
Radio Host
Was your energy drink of choice.
Caller
Right now it would probably be full throttle.
Radio Host
Okay. And what school are you talking about?
Caller
Georgia State University.
Radio Host
Congratulations on getting.
Becky
Thank you.
Jeff
I'd love to look at Red Bull sales, like the two weeks around finals on like a college campus, you know, and just see what percentage. You know, they probably do 30% of their business the last two weeks of the year.
Radio Host
You know what I mean? You could probably make a fortune on college campuses also, like, do it like.
Jeff
An ice cream truck.
Radio Host
Yeah, man.
Jeff
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Radio Host
Come through with the Red Bull.
Jeff
Hey, the Red Bull truck is here. All these zombies are out at your window.
Radio Host
It's like Night of the Living Dead.
Melody
It's like the beer tub girls. You know, normally they have like the Bud Light chicks selling the beer in every corner. Do the Red Bulls.
Radio Host
Good morning, Olivia. You're on all the hits Q100.
Caller
Hey, I'm @ nursing school at Georgia State and last semester when we pulled an all nighter before one of our exams, we went to.
Radio Host
IHOP. Why.
Caller
IHOP? IHOP is open 24 hours a day. And when you are starving and you feel like you can't learn anything else, you just have to go to IHOP and they'll be happy and cheerful and serve you really good food and you can study while.
Becky
Eating.
Radio Host
Okay. IHOP it.
Melody
Is. I think that's a good point too, is that you should eat, especially if you're gonna do these energy drinks or you're gonna do a whole bunch of coffee or whatever. You can't do those things with no food in your.
Jeff
System. You're taking the test like this? Yeah, I'm good. No, I'm. Seriously, I'm fine. If you can just hold my hand steady, I'll write the words. I just crap.
Radio Host
Myself. Hey, Melody. You're on all the hits.
Becky
Q100. Good.
Radio Host
Morning.
Caller
Hi. I know a lot of people have said they've got food and drinks and all that stuff, but the most important thing is make sure that you pick out the important things that you're supposed to learn. So many people try to learn like, you know, 10 weeks or a 16 week semester in one night. And you can't do that. It's just impossible. So you really should Focus and pick out the highlights of what went on in class and not try and read, you know, six chapters in one night or.
Radio Host
Whatever. Okay, so just the important stuff. Because if you try doing important.
Caller
Stuff, pick out your buzzwords, you know, pick out the topics that were discussed in class, study your notes, but don't try and read, like, every chapter that you went.
Radio Host
Through. Got.
Jeff
It? I know. So I know somebody that I went to college with who totally screwed up during one of our finals. And the way that, you know, this is one of those teachers that 50% of the grade is the midterm, and 50% was the final. And it was all based on, like, one book. And he studied the entire. Wrong book, didn't pay attention to the class, went in, read the whole entire book, studied the whole. He's like, got it all wrapped up. I know everything about presidential history before 1800. And we're like, dude, the finals. 1800.
Becky
1899. Oh, that's like class rage. Not road rage, but class.
Radio Host
Rage. You're pulling fire alarms to get everybody out of school at that point. Hey, Kate, you're on all the hits.
Caller
Q100. Okay, I have one word for you.
Radio Host
Adderall. Adderall. What is.
Caller
Adderall? It's for. It's a drug for add. Okay, so. So it helps you study, it helps you learn everything, and it. And it keeps you up all.
Melody
Night. It's true. I did take somebody's riddle in one.
Caller
Time. I mean, you can't go.
Radio Host
Wrong. Save.
Melody
That. Just stay up and.
Radio Host
Study. How do you get your hands on Adderall? I mean, I'm guessing it's prescription drug.
Caller
Right? It's a prescription drug, but, you know, friends will give it.
Radio Host
Up. All right, so you gotta go to all your friends and ask them if they're on.
Melody
Adderall. Find your ADD friends early in the semester and then rely on them when it comes to.
Jeff
Final. Yeah, they like.
Becky
To. Hey, dude, I just need a little hit. Just a little hit, okay? Just a little hit right.
Jeff
Now. I like to hang out at school yards on recess and look at the kids spazzing out on the swing set and then try to make a.
Becky
Deal with them before they head back in through the.
Jeff
Fence. I go out with Crash after and shake down eight year olds. Hey, dude, you got eight. What do you got?
Becky
Adderall.
Jeff
Ritalin. What do you.
Advertiser
Got? What do you.
Becky
Got? I got a final coming up, dude. Come on, help me out. Help me.
Jeff
Out. I got to tickle me Elmo in the.
Radio Host
Car. If we had a Dollar for everybody that was calling up talking about Adderall, we'd all be rich and out of the.
Becky
Show. Are you.
Radio Host
Kidding? Good morning, Laura. You're on all the hits.
Caller
Q100. Hi. I am graduating from UGA this semester. I'm actually all done, so I just have to walk. But I have the ultimate way to stay up all night. Okay, what you do first of all is usually they give you a study guide. Write down all the answers to the words or whatever on the study guide and consolidate that onto a couple sheets of paper. Then you take some Adderall, and then you go to the Waffle House. And the ladies up there are really nice, especially the one at Five Points. They're great, and they'll keep you in coffee. And anytime you get hungry, just have your waffle, your egg sandwich, and you're good to.
Radio Host
Go. So the winning combination is Adderall, Waffle House, and.
Caller
Coffee. It's perfect. Just don't overdo it, because you'll get the.
Radio Host
Shakes. All.
Melody
Right. Did you guys ever have a final given in a room that wasn't your normal.
Radio Host
Classroom?
Melody
No. That screwed me up one time because, you know, you're cramming, you're staying up all night, you have no sleep, you've got all this information rattling around in your brain, and you show up in the classroom where you normally were in the class, and the final's not.
Radio Host
There, and it takes you out of your routine a little.
Melody
Bit. Totally takes you. Totally throws you off. So you gotta go to some other random auditorium. And I remember just, like, running across campus and to make sure I could find it. So I would say also make sure you know where the classroom is, where it's being.
Becky
Given. I have one more that I forgot about that. Actually, a professor suggested that really did help. If you are playing with anything, like if you have one of the stress balls or if you have, you know, a can of Coke or whatever you have in your hand at the time you're studying, take it to the classroom with you. Because somehow your brain will associate whatever you're playing with with whatever you were learning at the time, and it can help you retain that information. So I forgot what I use. Like, even Silly Putty at Putty one time. I think Ava knew Silly Putty and went into the exam with.
Radio Host
It. Okay, all of these are gonna be posted on allthehitsq100.com Again, it's the idiot's guide to pulling an all nighter for your finals. Becky, you'll be the last caller.
Caller
Here. Hey, good.
Becky
Morning. Good.
Caller
Morning. Okay, the only thing that's missing from the winning combination of Waffle House and Adderall is a study group with the smart person who's actually been going to all the classes the whole.
Radio Host
Semester. That's.
Jeff
Clutch. That's the winner right.
Radio Host
There. You gotta pick out that person right off the bat and get cozy.
Caller
Real. The only way you'll make sure you have all the right answers is study guide and you're cramming for the right.
Melody
Stuff. Smart Find the producer Tracy of your.
Radio Host
Group. Exactly. All right. Go to all the hits q100.com for.
Jeff
That. The Bird.
Becky
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Air Date: January 9, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jeff, Becky, Melody)
Main Theme:
A real, humorous, and practical guide to surviving finals week – particularly for those college students who leave studying to the last minute and find themselves pulling all-nighters. The cast and listeners share their own cramming methods, cautionary tales, and quirky tips, building an "Idiot's Guide" to pulling off those sleepless, stressful study sessions.
As the University of Georgia and other colleges face finals week, The Bert Show cast reminisces about their own “cramming” horror stories and crowd-sources the best (and worst) practical advice for students pulling all-nighters. Listeners call in with tips, do's and don’ts, and hilarious misadventures. The tone is light, a bit irreverent, and deeply relatable for anyone who's faced the panic and madness of last-minute studying.
Do's:
Don'ts:
This episode is a high-energy, laugh-out-loud collection of do’s, don’ts, and war stories, serving as a humorous therapy session and real guide for students staring down the barrel of finals week.
For more cramming stories and the full list of “Idiot’s Guide” tips, listeners are directed to allthehitsq100.com.