Vault: Idiot's Guide To Turning 21

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault: Idiot's Guide To Turning 21

Date: January 19, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting Featuring Bert, Jen, and the Bert Show Cast

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Overview

This episode is a lively, listener-driven conversation where The Bert Show team, along with callers, crowdsources an “Idiot’s Guide to Turning 21.” Mixing humor with genuine advice, the group offers tips, cautionary tales, and wisdom—ranging from drink strategies to wardrobe choices—for anyone approaching the all-important 21st birthday milestone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

What Is an "Idiot’s Guide" Segment?

• Bert and the team explain these are “the basic things that you need to know, whatever category there is...when you’re turning 21, these are the musts” (00:35).
• Previous guides included topics like tailgating in the South and first dates.

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Essential Rules for Turning 21

1. Eat Before You Drink

• Jen: “Eat dinner. Like, you need to make sure you…” (01:28)
• Bert: “Make sure there’s a base of food before you go out.” (01:33)
• Pro tip: Carb-heavy meals like pasta are preferred.

2. Stick to Simple Drinks

• Bert: “Stay away from sugary drinks… The more sugar you drink, the more hungover you’re going to be the next day.” (02:05)

3. First Legal Liquor Store Experience

• Make a point to buy alcohol and insist they check your ID, just for the novelty. (02:23)

4. Don’t Mix “Colors” (Types of Alcohol)

• Caller Karen: “Don’t mix colors. And she broke that rule and was hugging the toilet all night.” (03:17)

5. Responsible Transportation

• Caller Brian: “You gotta have a designated driver. 21 cannot end their life that early.” (04:10)
• Bert: Notes stats show even “designated drinkers” may not be fully sober. Use professional services if possible. (04:23)
• “It’s worth the effort to go get the car the next day. Don’t let that talk you out of it.” (05:10)

6. Hydrate

• Caller Tracy: “A glass of water for every drink or shot that you have, you’ll be good to go the next day.” (06:03)
• The hosts debate whether 21-year-olds really follow this—even if it’s good advice. (06:24–06:44)

7. Don’t Start Too Early

• Jen: “Don’t start too early.” (06:57)
• Parties that begin in the afternoon generally end before the real fun starts. (07:00)

8. Take the Next Day Off

• Caller: “If you can schedule to have the next day off work, do that.” (07:14)

9. Shots: Make It Social

• If someone buys you a shot, make sure they take one too—“Take down the whole ship with you.” (07:36–07:52)
• Appoint a “watchdog” friend to keep an eye on your intake. (07:52)

10. Iconic Bar Rites of Passage

• Go to a club or bar that really cards; “there was typically this bar that was just 21 and up… it was called Bullwinkle’s.” (08:07)
• Atlanta favorites: Moondogs (08:41)

11. Hooking Up: To Try or Not

• Caller: “Don’t try to hook up with anyone on your 21st…” (08:51)
• Bert: “I disagree. I think you gotta try… That is a night where you just make stories.” (08:59–09:09)

12. Fun Signature Test

• “Carry a piece of paper with you, and after every drink or shot, you sign your name…see how your signature gets worse and worse.” (09:24)

13. Dress for the Occasion

• Jen: “For the girls: turning 21, don’t wear a skirt… you don’t want to be flashing the world when you fall over.” (09:43)

14. Expect the Unexpected

• Caller Richard: “Go in tonight expecting it to be the worst night of your life, not the best.” (10:11)
• Bert: “Go into life with a really low bar, and you’ll never be disappointed.” (10:27)

15. Hangover Myths and Remedies

• “Vodka… the higher quality the vodka, the less hangover you have. But if you’re 21, you can’t afford the higher quality.” (14:29, 14:57)
• Pedialyte and bread are widely recommended hangover cures, but debated as to whether anyone young actually uses them. (12:53–13:09)

16. Classic Drinking Rhymes and Myths

• “Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.” (13:20)
• Only the vodka/hangover correlation is “proven”—the rest are myths. (14:25–14:43)

17. Women-only Tips

• “Wear a panty liner…there’s always going to be a lineup at the bathroom.” (15:10)
• “Put a trash bag in your purse or somewhere in the car, maybe for the ride home.” (18:01)

18. Avoid Prank Shots

• “Do not take a shot called the cement mixer… it curdles.” (15:51–16:14)

19. “Flaming” Shots: Only on Your 21st

• “Doing a shot that you set on fire… the only time that I think that’s okay is on your 21st birthday.” (16:32)
• Bert: “I don’t trust myself even to do that on my 21st birthday.” (16:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Eat dinner. Like, you need to make sure you—”
— Jen (01:28)

“Stay away from those fruity freaking girly umbrella drinks, ‘cause those things are gonna hurt.”
— Bert (02:09)

“Don’t start the party…too early so that by 7:00 pm you’re sound asleep.”
— Co-host (06:44)

“Go into life with a really low bar, and you’ll never be disappointed.”
— Bert (10:27)

“Wear pants or jeans or something where if you fall over or you’re throwing up on the ground, you’re not in a miniskirt.”
— Jen (09:43)

“Carry a piece of paper with you, and after every drink or shot, you sign your name… see how your signature gets worse.”
— Caller (09:24)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:33–01:10: Explaining the “Idiot’s Guide” format
• 01:28–02:09: Eating beforehand and avoiding sugary drinks
• 03:17–03:33: The dangers of mixing alcohol types (“colors”)
• 04:10–04:23: Designated driver and transportation tips
• 06:03–06:44: Hydration strategies
• 07:14–07:30: Taking the next day off work
• 09:24–09:43: The “signature test” and outfit advice for women
• 10:11–10:27: Manage expectations for the night
• 12:53–13:09: Debating hangover cures (Pedialyte, bread, etc.)
• 14:25–14:43: Hangover myths debunked
• 15:10–15:31: Panty liner and bathroom line advice

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The Idiot’s Guide List – Consolidated

1. Eat dinner before going out (carb up).
2. Stay away from sugary drinks.
3. Go to the liquor store and demand an ID check.
4. Don’t mix “colors” (types of alcohol).
5. Arrange safe transportation and a designated driver.
6. Hydrate: a glass of water per drink/shot (if you can).
7. Don’t start partying too early in the day.
8. Take the next day off work if possible.
9. Make others take shots with you.
10. Have a “watchdog” to look out for you.
11. Visit a strict “21 and up” bar if possible.
12. Don't stress about “hooking up” (do what you want).
13. Sign your name after every drink as a fun record.
14. Girls: Don’t wear a skirt, bring a trash bag/panty liner.
15. Expect the night to be the worst, not the best.
16. Know hangover/urban legends, but realize most are myths.
17. Avoid prank shots like the “cement mixer.”
18. Flaming shots: only on your 21st.
19. Stock your home with “reinforcements” (aspirin, water).

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Tone and Style

The conversation is irreverent, honest, and often self-deprecating, with an undercurrent of caution and concern for young listeners’ safety. The hosts welcome humorous stories but repeatedly return to the importance of taking care of yourself and your friends: “Someone’s got to go, okay, enough is enough. We got to pour this guy out of here.” (18:42)

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For a full list and more advice from both the cast and listeners, visit the show’s website as mentioned on air.

Transcript

[Jen]

The Burt show, we always get all kinds of random questions and emails from listeners. And this one I thought would be appropriate to help out. It says, Jen, the Burt show often does the Idiot's Guide to different Things. What about An Idiot's guide to turning 21? This guy says, I'll be turning 21 in September, and I would love to hear the advice from people on how to do it right. He says, I'm currently in graduate school instead of undergrad, so he thinks he's not surrounded by the right environment to see what others do, what bars they go to. You know, what should he do? You know, what should he do to be prepared to turn 21?

[Burt]

And you guys know what these idiots guides are, right?

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah, I mean, it's basically, you know, just the. The basic things that you need to know. Whatever category there is. I mean, we have all the rest of them posted. We've done to tailgating in the South. We've done trying to think, going on a first date. Going on a first date. So it's just the basics, you know, bullet point basics that you need to know. And when you're turning 21, these are the must. Must. No, that's not even a word.

[Jen]

And she's out.

[Co-host or contributor]

9, 30.

[Burt]

She's already exhausted from the walk.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I'm going to start walking. See you later.

[Co-host or contributor]

These are the things you must know. Yeah, to know.

[Burt]

You know, we're putting together a list of rules for somebody that, you know that is turning 21 this weekend. What are the absolutes? Okay, I think there are a different set of rules for, like, guys than there are women. Like, and the set of rules for guys is that there are no rules.

[Jen]

Like, I would say one of them is eat dinner. Like, you need to make sure you.

[Burt]

Have make sure there's a base of food before you go out.

[Co-host or contributor]

How could you not come up with that one? Because Burt's an expert in the bases. He's like, all right, some pasta night, people. Let's go get some pasta in us. Plenty of bread, pasta, skip the salad, skip the meat.

[Burt]

But that knowledge came at 30, not a 21. Man. My base was vodka, and I started drinking tequila, but I had the base of vodka in there, so it was going to be okay.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Now I'm assuming, of course, it is the Idiot's guide to turning 21. But, you know, drink. Like, I mean, the thing is, we haven't even said that. But I mean, turning 21, the thing that turns 20, you get to drink legally.

[Burt]

I've got one. All right. I Got one. I got one. I got one. Stay away from sugary drinks.

[Jen]

Okay?

[Burt]

Okay. That's like, it doesn't matter if you're 21, 24, 28. The more sugar you drink, the more hungover you're gonna be the next day. So stay away from those fruity freaking girly umbrella drinks. Cause those things are gonna hurt. They're hurting.

[Co-host or contributor]

I think you have to do some of the traditional things that might get forgotten. Like, I think on your 21st birthday, you have to go to a liquor store and insist that they see your ID and buy something. Because the first time I could legally buy a drink, I went. I don't know if it was a six pack or a bottle or whatever it was. And I went in there and I didn't get carded. I'm like, you wanna see my id? He's like, no, you're good.

[Burt]

Remember we did that with intern Emily? It was her 21st birthday.

[Co-host or contributor]

Or the drinking.

[Burt]

No, it was drinking. She went in to get a drink and her ID said her birthday was that day. That's why we sent her out. And he's like, what time did you. What time were you born? Or something like that. And she's like, I don't know what time I'm born. Look at the day on the thing. And he wouldn't, like, give her. He wouldn't give her any alcohol. All right, so the idiot's guide to turning 21 are the. What are the absolute rules? Okay, if your best friend was turning 21, what kind of advice. What kind of rules do you absolutely have to follow on that night? Hey, Karen, you're on the Bert Show. What's up?

[Caller]

Hey. One of my best friends turned 21 August 3rd. And my number one rule for her was, don't mix colors.

[Burt]

Don't mix colors.

[Caller]

Yes. And she broke that rule and was hugging the toilet all night.

[Jen]

Well, you almost have to hug the toilet all night on your 21st birthday.

[Burt]

We actually had a rule. I mean, it was a dangerous, dangerous rule. That there was a group of five or six of us that still know each other really, really well, but they're still living in San Diego. That on your 21st birthday, the night's not over until the. The guy that's 21 yaks. And some held out longer than others. That's for sure. But, yeah, it was just kind of a. It's a rite of passage.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah. When the. Yeah, when the tile on the bathroom floor feels so good against your face because there's. Yeah, because you have that the heat. Yeah. Oh, I know.

[Burt]

Good morning, Brian. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

Hi, good morning.

How you guys doing?

[Burt]

Good, sir. Idiot's guide to turning 21.

[Caller]

You gotta have a designated driver. 21 cannot end their life that early.

[Jen]

Very good. Be responsible transportation. Get a limo, make sure you got cab money, whatever you got to do.

[Burt]

You know, statistics are showing now also I just read this that the chances are pretty good that the designated driver in most cases isn't sober. Either he or she is more sober than the rest in the group. But by no means unless you're not drinking are you sober. So there's some stats to look out for there also. And I've been guilty of that too. You know, like I'm going to be the one that's not going to drink tonight while I'm drinking, just not as much as anybody else. And I'm still probably legally drunk.

[Co-host or contributor]

You know, spend a few bucks too and call it toxic transportation or whatever and get, you know, get one of their big limos or their Hummers or their buses or, you know, pay the money for a cab. Because when you think about it, wherever you are In Atlanta, a $50 cab ride is going to get you home and that's a lot cheaper than.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah, and it's worth the effort to go get the car the next day. Don't let that talk you out of it.

[Burt]

Again. My short term memory is so bad. What's the name of that company that will provide a ride for you? Safe Ride. Where do you find more information out about that online?

[Caller]

Just Google it. Safe Ride plus Atlanta.

[Burt]

And what do they do?

[Caller]

They will come and pick you up and usually in two spots. I know they do this in Smyrna where I'm from. I know they do this in Smyrna. They will come and bring two people and one person will take you home and the other person will take your car home as well. Or if you need to, they'll just take you home and it's practically free. They just do it out of a good service, but they want tips, which is totally understandable.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I think it's a fantastic service because unfortunately it's a stupid argument for people to say, well, the reason I drove drunk was because I didn't want to leave my car the next morning.

[Burt]

Right.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Such crap.

[Burt]

Good morning, Tracy. You're on the virtual and all the hits. Q and A hunter. We're putting together the Idiot's guide to turning 21.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Caller]

In addition to all that you have said, because I agree with all of them, especially the designated driver. A glass of water for every drink or every shot that you have, you'll be good to go the next day.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Now is that as somebody who's 28 or 32? No, we're talking about 21.

[Caller]

21. Deal. Quite a while ago, but that is definitely important and I promise it works.

[Burt]

Now we could pass on that wisdom to you if you're 21, but that generally is the way a 28 year old thinks.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Do we add to the idiot's guide?

[Burt]

I mean, it's a good suggestion.

[Caller]

It's probably not when to do it, but it'll work for you.

[Burt]

What do you think?

[Jen]

I don't think it goes on.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I don't think it goes on. I appreciate, I mean it is a great philosophy, but not for a 21 year old.

[Co-host or contributor]

I have one. Don't, don't start too early. Like don't, don't have it, you know, don't start the party like too early so that by 7:00pm you're sound asleep.

[Burt]

Right. You're starting at 2 in the, 2 in the afternoon.

[Jen]

That's a good one.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Don't start too early.

[Jen]

Yeah, I think you should start about 9 or 10.

[Co-host or contributor]

Yeah, don't start too early. Like don't let your friends talk you into. Hey, you're 21. And I don't really know if I believe in the birthday celebrations that start right at midnight because that just kills you for the next day when your real, real day of party is.

[Caller]

Phil Torana, if you can, if you can schedule to have the next day off of work, do that because I made the mistake. After my 21st birthday, my brothers took me out.

[Burt]

Right?

[Caller]

Yeah. We didn't get in until about three in the morning and I had, I had to go to work the day after my 21st birthday. Worst shift I've ever had in my entire life.

[Burt]

That's great. That's a good one. That's got to go on there. Good morning, Jeremiah. You're on all the hits. Q100 and the Burt Show.

[Caller]

I totally agree with Phil. But two other things. If someone buys you a shot, make sure they do a shot with you. Because too many people just come up and buy you a shot and just say do it.

[Burt]

That's true. That is true. So I mean, if you're going to go down, you take down the whole ship with you. Exactly.

[Caller]

And then have a friend. When I turned 21, my Kearney brothers, I had one Kearney brother. I was like, you're my watchdog and every so often he'd be like, yeah, I got him a gin and tonic. And it was just seven UP and alive. And that was a big help.

[Burt]

Okay, that's good.

[Jen]

So have a Watchdog. I like that. Now, I wanna know if there's a bar in Atlanta that's, like, typically really, really strict to get into. Cause when I turned 21 in Tallahassee, when I was at Florida State, there was typically this bar that was just 21 and up. And it was hard on IDs. There was no way you were getting in there with a fake id. It was called Bullwinkle. So it was like, on your 21st, you had to go to Bullwinkles because you had to be really 21 with your real ID to get in there. I wonder if there's a bar like that in Atlanta.

[Burt]

All right, we'll try to find that also. And, like, are there typically better bars around town that are better if you're turning 21 than others?

[Jen]

Moondogs.

[Burt]

Moondogs would be one. Absolutely. 404-741-1005 Chris the Idiot's Guide to Turning 21.

[Caller]

I say you got to make sure that you don't try to hook up with anybody on your 21st birthday because you're going to be way too drunk and just going to embarrass yourself for the most part.

[Burt]

I disagree.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I can't put that on the idiot.

[Burt]

I disagree. I think you gotta try.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

You're 21.

[Burt]

That is a night where you just make stories. And if you make an ass out of yourself, then so be it.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

You think by not hooking up with someone is going to not make you an idiot that night?

[Burt]

I can't put that one. In fact, I say go ahead and hook up with as many people as you can that night. Good morning, Karen at the Idiot's guide to turning 21.

[Caller]

Yeah, if you're. You gotta carry a piece of paper with you, and after every drink or shot, you sign your name. Why I did this on my 21st birthday. Just. You can see how your signature gets worse and worse and worse for my 21st birthday. That was five years.

[Burt]

That is great. Okay, that goes on there. Good suggestion.

[Jen]

I would have one for the girls. Turning 21 is not to wear a skirt, because at some point, you're gonna be on your hands and knees that night throwing up. And you don't wanna be in a skirt or a mini skirt that's riding up your hips, or you just don't wanna be flashing the world when you Fall over or whatever. Just, like, wear pants or jeans or something where if you fall over or you're throwing up on the ground, you're not in a miniskirt.

[Burt]

Very good, Richard. You are on the Burt show on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

All right. Going tonight. Expecting it to be the worst night of your life, not the best.

[Burt]

That's a great suggestion right there, man.

[Co-host or contributor]

Expecting it to be the.

[Burt]

Because, like, turning 21 is almost like an adult prom, you know? Like, you're building up and building up and building up, and in a lot of cases, the night can't meet that expectation.

[Jen]

Right.

[Burt]

So. And this is a good life lesson, too. Go into life with a really low bar, and you'll never be disappointed.

[Caller]

I mean, yeah, you know, you drink.

So much that you just forget what you're doing. You forget where you're at. You forget your name at some points in the night. So, I mean, you're gonna wake up the next day and not even remember what you did. So, you know, and you're gonna throw up so many times that you really, really will have no idea. And you'll just be in so much pain that you'll wake up and say, what did I do to myself? That was the worst night of my life.

[Burt]

Although, I don't know. I can't remember. Like, I don't remember being hungover too many times at 21, because you could just drink so freaking much and then do it again the next day.

[Co-host or contributor]

The hangovers were different. Like, you would wake up with, like, a headache, then you go back to bed, and it's gone. Like, remember the hangovers that lasted?

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

They didn't last long.

[Co-host or contributor]

That lasted just the morning. Yeah.

[Jen]

Like, by the time you had lunch, you were fine.

[Co-host or contributor]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Let's do it again.

[Co-host or contributor]

By two, you were ready to go.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah. Yeah, that. That doesn't last for sure.

[Burt]

And time. Like, at 21, man. Boot and rally, man, you throw up, you could go back and start drinking again. Boot, rally, baby.

[Jen]

I've never been.

[Burt]

One of those days are over.

[Co-host or contributor]

Remember when. Remember the days where you could look at puke on your shirt and go, it's dark in here. Nobody. How about this? What about line up your reinforcements before you leave? So, like, very accessible. As soon as you walk in the door of your apartment, there's the aspirin. There's like, a full glass of water bucket. Whatever your. Yeah, whatever your, you know, hangover. Old wives tale.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

What about the piece of bread? Did you ever do the piece of bread?

[Co-host or contributor]

Our handful of crackers, a piece of bread or a piece of toast. Airborne people say, you know those airborne cold medicine tablets, vitamins, whatever you believe is what cures a hangover. Have that sitting in one spot on your counter so when you walk home you can have your.

[Jen]

That still to me sounds like an older person's remedy.

[Co-host or contributor]

No, it's not a remedy. It's a. See, it's. Yeah, I don't think you're.

[Burt]

I think you can give the. Yeah, but at 21, you would never do it.

[Jen]

You don't care.

[Burt]

Think about it. Good morning, George. You're on all the hits. Q100 high.

[Caller]

Hey, how you doing?

[Jen]

Good.

[Caller]

Well, I have two. One for guys, they have to have a body shot that night. I mean, you're not 21 if you haven't gotten body shot. And there are plenty of places in Atlanta where there's Coyote Ugly and all these places that can pay for it. So you won't have any problem finding that.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Keep talking.

[Burt]

See? Muy bien.

[Caller]

And then the second one is for the hangover. Pedialyte. You have to buy before because you buy it at the supermarket.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Pedialyte, that's great for us, but no 21 year old's going to.

[Co-host or contributor]

No, I think. But I think this is important. Like, I think we could put this down for him.

[Burt]

Well, I don't know. I don't know because at 21, I would have. I would have looked at those and I would have laughed at it. I barely have enough money for a shower.

[Co-host or contributor]

We're creating the Idiot's guide for the 21 year old. We are putting stuff in the Idiot's guide that they should know whether or not they take the advice. Irrelevant.

[Burt]

I don't know. Hey, T.K.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Burt]

Hey.

[Caller]

I learned something very valuable right before I went out for my 21st birthday. And that was beer before liquor. And you've never been sicker. Liquor before beer and you're in the clear.

[Burt]

Have they proven that to be true?

[Co-host or contributor]

No way.

[Caller]

I felt the after effects of doing it the wrong way once. So I'll tell you from my experience, that would be true. And another place, if you're going out on your 21st birthday and you've got underage friends, we always enjoy going to Tacomac and starting a passport. So get them all kinds of different beers.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Starting passport to different beers from different places.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Caller]

If you drink 100, I think it is 100 different types of beer, you get your name on a plaque and 16 ounces of beer instead of 12 whenever you go there.

Wow.

[Burt]

This is what I'm talking about right here. This is 21 right here. Thank you.

[Co-host or contributor]

You know that liquor before beer and all that stuff. I read recently in a magazine about all those old wives tales about liquor before beer. Don't mix colors, all that. There's only one of them. That's true. There's only one hangover and alcohol related legend. That's true. Any guesses?

[Burt]

Sugar or water? Keep drinking water to keep yourself hydrated.

[Co-host or contributor]

What it is, the higher quality vodka gives you. Vodka does give you a less hangover. And the higher quality the vodka, the less hangover you have.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Oh yeah, well that's with any.

[Burt]

It's distilled more, I think.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I think that's with any type. Like if you get a better quality wine.

[Co-host or contributor]

Nope, just vodka. That's the only one that they prove true. The higher quality. The only, the only place where you can control your hangover is if you're a vodka drinker. Vodka drinkers have less of a hangover and the higher quality vodka gives you.

[Jen]

Well, if you're 21, you can't afford the higher quality.

[Burt]

Go to the well. Go to the well, people. Hey, Kathy, you're on all the HQ100.

[Caller]

Hey there, guys.

[Burt]

Hey. Hello.

[Caller]

Hello. Can you hear me?

[Co-host or contributor]

Yep.

[Caller]

Okay. My tip is kind of nasty. It's really only for girls and it's to wear a panty liner that night or some sort of panty protection because there's always going to be a lineup at the bathroom.

[Co-host or contributor]

So you want to be scared to wet yourself.

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly. Sometimes you're just not going to make.

[Jen]

It a little bit.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Have you peed on yourself?

[Burt]

Yeah, and I say it with kind of a sense of pride actually.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah. Hasn't everybody?

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Co-host or contributor]

It is.

[Caller]

It's part of the rite of passage.

[Co-host or contributor]

Hey, thanks for calling. Don't hang out with me.

[Burt]

This do not go to vision on Saturday night.

[Co-host or contributor]

Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta go right now.

[Burt]

Erin, good morning.

[Caller]

Hey, y'.

[Co-host or contributor]

All.

[Caller]

My suggestion for people turning 21 is not to take a shot called the cement mixer.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Okay.

[Caller]

It is one of those two part shots. One of them. One part of it is like a Bailey, something really creamy and the other part is like a tequila with lime in it. And you put them in there and you swish it in your mouth and. And it curdles.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And yeah, it's one of those shots that if they don't take it with you, don't take it. It's not a good one.

[Co-host or contributor]

Yeah. I think that's a rule of life. Don't put anything in your Mouth that curdles. I don't think it's anything to do with the 21st birthday. And I'll give you another one. Even though here's something that you should own.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I should save that somehow.

[Co-host or contributor]

The only thing that you should do on your 21st birthday and it is appropriate at no other time, and I challenge anyone to find a time when this is acceptable. Doing a shot that you set on fire. Like, the only time that I think that's okay is on your 21st birthday.

[Burt]

I don't trust myself even to do that on my 21st birthday. Good morning, Tanya. Last call. What's up?

[Caller]

Hey, I was wondering where you get the list. My 21st birthday is next Saturday and I wanted to read through it.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Watch out. Yeah, you can just go to allthehitsq100.com, go to the Burch show page. And after the show today, we'll have it up there and you'll see the Idiot's Guide link to the list. And I'll give the. There's a lot of things on the list. I'll go through it really quickly right now. 1. Eat dinner. Be sure and eat dinner before you go out to get a good base. Stay away from sugary drinks because you'll be more hungover with them. Go to the liquor store and demand them to check your ID because now you're legal. Don't mix colors in your drinking because you'll be hugging the toilet later if you do. Please have a designated driver. Don't start too early because then the evening will end early. Schedule having the next day of work off because you're gonna feel bad if someone buys you a shot. Have them take one too so that not everybody in the bar's giving you a shot. Have a piece. This is funny. I've never done this. Have a piece of paper with you and then sign it after every drink so you see how worse your signature gets as the evening goes along.

[Burt]

You should do that with Geller on Saturday night.

[Co-host or contributor]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And we'll put the list up on the website.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I think that's awesome.

[Co-host or contributor]

Oh, I gotta remember that if you see me at Vision, remind me of that. I'll bring a little piece of paper or something. Jen had you just write your name.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Just signature.

[Co-host or contributor]

And then maybe the time.

[Burt]

Yeah, maybe.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Yeah. And then Jen had a good one about women. Please don't wear a skirt that night because you're. Yeah, it's just. You don't want to flash your bike is. You're going to end up on the floor sometime going into the 90s, if you will. As if it will be the worst night of your life. Not the best. Put a trash bag in your purse if you're a woman or somewhere in the car, maybe for the ride home because you might be filling it up leg now. Do I put the beer before liquor thing on the website?

[Burt]

I. I don't know that it's ever been proven. I mean, it's a. Everybody knows the same, but I'm not sure it's a. If you're 21, you don't care anyway, right?

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

Exactly. We're gonna X that out. And this last one, if you will elaborate. Cause I wasn't quite sure what he meant to have a watchdog.

[Jen]

That'S like your ally.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

What are they watching out for?

[Burt]

Well, just so you don't kill yourself.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

I just couldn't have a watchdog.

[Burt]

I mean, somebody has to be there and. Cause sometimes it's not. Can get pretty dangerous. Someone's got to go. Okay, Enough is enough.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

All right.

[Burt]

All right. We got to pour this guy out of here.

[Co-host (possibly a producer or sidekick)]

So again, all those will be on the website. All the hits, q100.com go to the birch show page and you'll see it.

[Burt]

After the Birch Show.