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Burt
Bert Show Good morning.
Brian McCann
Q100.
Burt
Yes. Hey, I got a question for you. What type of wiffle ball is it that you have? Because if you have the wiffle ball with the holes in it or if it's a solid wiffle ball, that's going to change the pitch completely. Yeah, that's part of the story here that I will detail for Brian McCann right now. So that has a lot to do with the story I'm about to tell.
Smoltzi
It appears that Burt doesn't have any balls with him today.
Burt
Oh, you don't even know Brian. How are you?
Brian McCann
I'm doing good. How are you doing?
Jeff
That sounds like an awkward phrase. Awkward.
Burt
Thank you. Thank you for coming in this morning.
Brian McCann
Thanks for having me.
Burt
We're gonna talk about the rally foundation. We're gonna talk about the softball game on Friday night and all that. But has Jeff prepared you?
Brian McCann
I've heard a little bit about this
Burt
pitch from what was supposed to happen today.
Brian McCann
Not. Not at all.
Smoltzi
Just so you know, up until a half hour ago, Bert had ice on his shoulders.
Burt
I will tell you that this did get pretty pathetic a couple of days ago. But let me go back back to my San Diego State days when I was a year.
Jeff
Brian, how old were you? 20 years ago?
Brian McCann
Five.
Jeff
Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Burt
While you were tooling around on your big wheel.
Brian McCann
Yeah.
Burt
I'm in college at that point and I have four roommates and you know, we're all 18, 19, 20 year old dudes or whatever.
Smoltzi
You've probably heard the same story from Smoltzi. So if you want stop it, you can.
Burt
So you know you just make up these superficial games just to compete with each other. You probably do the same thing with all your boys right now, right?
Brian McCann
Oh, yeah.
Burt
So Wiffle ball was our game of choice in our apartment. Four guys competing all summer long, each and every day, taking it very, very seriously. Well, I realized in week one of our round robin tournament that I had an unhittable pitch. Brian McCann.
Brian McCann
What did it do?
Burt
The real question is, what didn't it do?
Brian McCann
If you hold the wiffle ball a certain way, it does. Did it hook real bad on you? It or did it rise?
Burt
Let me try and explain it to you, because even as a major leaguer, you might have a tough time, probably.
Smoltzi
It was like. It was like one of those cartoon birds when you get hit on the head. It just went all over the place.
Burt
It really did. Like, it started way up here, and it started really high in the strike zone. Really high. Like, Jeff suggested we do this today here in the building. And let's do it. We could. I can't because it breaks higher than 10. It starts higher than 10ft. And how do you throw this? I'm telling you, man, it's got to
Brian McCann
be a certain Wiffle ball then.
Burt
Well, I'll get to all of that.
Brian McCann
Okay, so.
Jeff
Oh, don't rush the legend. You didn't realize this because you're inside of the movie Big Fish, right?
Burt
That is so not true. All of These details are 100 true.
Jeff
Oh, sit tight for the story, my friend.
Burt
I would throw it into the sky. It would hit the bottom of a plane and it would come down and. And it would also break inside so hard. And it would start on the. It was high and upper left hand part of the strike zone. And it would break so low and to the right at your knees. It wasn't possible to hit it.
Brian McCann
And you could throw it for a strike every time.
Burt
Every time. And, you know, I had my other pitches, but that was my out pitch.
Brian McCann
Okay. I played a lot of wiffle ball growing up, but I don't. I've never heard of a pitch like this.
Burt
You have never seen anything like this.
Brian McCann
There's a guy on YouTube that throws a wiffle ball. Pretty. You gotta. You gotta check it out. It's amazing.
Burt
What's it.
Brian McCann
What you can do with it?
Burt
What do you think his does?
Brian McCann
He shows it and it rises. He throws as hard as he can, and it rises and hits a strike zone every time.
Burt
So it'll start like at the floor and then rise its way up. I had a pretty nasty riser also. Because you know, if you're gonna go undefeated a whole summer, you have to have more than just one pitch.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt
So there was a curve, there was a knuckle, there was a scrooge, but there was the unhittable, unhittable pitch.
Smoltzi
You also smoked a tremendous amount of weed in college, too, didn't you?
Burt
This I was crystal clear about.
Brian McCann
Okay.
Burt
Even between hits, this was crystal clear.
Love's Rewards Announcer
All right.
Burt
So I've always had in the back of my mind, man, I wonder if a major leaguer could hit this thing. Just somewhere stored in the back of my head 20 years ago. So Jeff says, you're coming in today. And I'm like, this is it, man. This is the opportunity I've always waited for. Let's go ahead and do this. I mean, you potentially could be in the hall of Fame someday. Who knows? I mean, you're hitting.300. This is going to be perfect. Because this is not like me pitching against some guy that is sometimes up at triple A. Other times, you're the man. So Jeff said, it's on Brian.
Jeff
The best. Only the best in the major leagues are. Is worthy to try to receiving the. I love how he talked about, it's not like somebody that goes down and triple and goes back up now, because it's that easy.
Brian McCann
It's that easy to play. I gotcha.
Burt
Okay. To be the best, you got to beat the best.
Brian McCann
We need to set it up in the park.
Burt
Well, let me tell you why it's
Jeff
not happening, because I'm here. Because you said, Bert, earlier, before Brian came in, that it wasn't happening, and you'd explain. And I'm thinking, oh, well, it had something to do with the fact that Brian couldn't do it. But Brian's sitting here going, no, no,
Burt
no, I never said that. So I took it very, very seriously. And if you're a competitor, you know, it doesn't matter what you're competing in, you want to win.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt
So I took this very, very seriously. I wanted to bring back this pitch. So last week, and now I know this is going to get pathetic. I go to Dick's Sports, and I go, I don't have a wiffle ball in the house. So I go to Dick's to go get a couple of balls, just to throw it around a little bit, make sure it's, you know, it's been 20 years since I threw the pitch.
Smoltzi
That's a funny sentence.
Jeff
I know.
Burt
So I go to Dick's to get a wiffle ball. And the old school wiffle balls are gone.
Brian McCann
Really?
Burt
They're not there. So they've got something called a junk ball now which just has some holes in the middle and you have to sort of relearn it. But I'm like, you know what? I can relearn this. So I get about six of them and I go to the YMCA up here at Hammond in the middle of the day and I start throwing against that tennis backboard. Yeah, over and over and over. I couldn't find the pitch, man.
Smoltzi
I couldn't find it because they jacked with your equipment.
Jeff
Do they still manufacture the ball?
Burt
Well, it's not done yet.
Jeff
Oh, I'm sorry.
Burt
So I spent half an hour out there throwing.
Brian McCann
Okay.
Burt
I'm a 42 year old guy that hasn't thrown anything in years. So my arm is falling off of my body at this point. But I am determined. So I start going from sporting goods store to sporting goods store looking for the right wiffle ball. Dude.
Brian McCann
Oh no.
Jeff
Is that what I'm talking? Sad?
Burt
No, it's pathetic.
Jeff
It's a hero's journey.
Burt
I am aware of how pathetic the story is. So finally I end up at the Sports Authority over by Petsmart in. In Buckhead. And I go in the back section and the angels started to sing, man. It was almost like there was one beam of sunshine on the wiffle ball section and there it was, the correct wiffle ball.
Smoltzi
Not only are you do you have this unhittable pitch, but you also have the world's longest excuse.
Burt
Well, no, no, that's really not an excuse. So I go and I get like.
Jeff
I appreciate the passion. I appreciate the passion of going from store to store.
Burt
Dude, I bought 15 wiffle balls.
Brian McCann
That's impressive.
Burt
15 of them.
Brian McCann
Do you have it here with you?
Burt
No.
Jeff
Why?
Burt
Because I went out and I used the same bag, 15 of them. And I threw for 45 minutes, man. And I can't find the pitch.
Brian McCann
Really?
Burt
I did everything I could. It's gone. It's gone.
Brian McCann
Is there any tape of this pitch
Burt
I was practicing over and over and over again?
Smoltzi
No, Brian, they didn't have motion pictures back then.
Burt
I wanted to go back out over the weekend, but my arm was so damn sore from throwing the first day that I can't find the pitch. And I've tried and tried and tried and. And it's got no break on it at all. And I figured if I come in here and I throw this thing to you, you're gonna hammer me. So I would rather forfeit and say I don't have the pitch anymore. Oh, man, it was a sad day. My youth is officially gone.
Smoltzi
No, that was gone a long time ago.
Burt
The reality of it now, it's gone.
Brian McCann
I wish I could face that pitch.
Burt
I will work on it.
Brian McCann
All right.
Burt
I won't have it together on Friday. I'll try. I'll try to find it again today, but I don't know what else I can do that I haven't tried already, because believe you me, there's nothing more I wanted. I might have quit the industry after that. Had I struck you out, I might have gone to an island somewhere and that would have been it. So it won't happen today, but I hope someday it does.
Brian McCann
Oh, I'll be waiting.
Jeff
And thanks for being a good sport, for saying that you would play along with Burt's little game.
Burt
If I find it, do I have a shot to throw it against you?
Brian McCann
Absolutely. Okay, we'll set it up.
Burt
Because as Jeff said, I think that if I can get it by you, then Chipper's gonna want piece of it
Brian McCann
and I can take him down probably.
Burt
All right. And I could go right through the lineup.
Smoltzi
Well, like that dude, they made the movie from the. For the Pittsburgh Steeler guy who ended up getting a walk on position at age 40.
Burt
Yeah. What was that dude's name? The guy that he was on the special teams.
Brian McCann
Yeah, whatever that was. The Eagles.
Burt
The Eagles, yeah. Well, thanks for coming in today, man. We won't see the pitch on Friday, but this is going to be a good time on Friday night.
Brian McCann
It's going to be a blast.
Burt
Yeah.
Brian McCann
Excited to get it. Softball game going. Chipper's gonna be there. Andrew Jones is gonna be there. We'll have a home run derby. And, you know, it's gonna be. It's gonna be a fun time for sure.
Burt
So this is for the Rally Foundation?
Brian McCann
Yep.
Burt
Which is what?
Brian McCann
It's research for childhood cancer.
Burt
Okay.
Brian McCann
So it's, it's, it's. It's just a great cause, and you get to meet these kids and they melt your heart.
Burt
And when did you guys. When did you get involved? This is not your organization. Right. This is a net nationwide organization.
Brian McCann
Yes. We got involved two years ago. Tom Glavin had it, and he was on the end of his career and moving on with something else. And I was in a perfect position to take over. And my wife and I have been nothing but helpful to this thing.
Burt
Awesome, man. So. And the game has all these Atlanta Braves in it, but there's a whole bunch of personalities from TV and radio that are Going to be playing in it also, right?
Brian McCann
Absolutely. David Pollock is playing in it. A lot of other guys are playing in it. I can't think of right now, but it's going to be a blast.
Burt
Jeff was telling me, like, the lineups for both teams, there's like 40 deep on both teams.
Brian McCann
It's going to be a long day.
Burt
This game is going to start at 8 and be over at 3 in the morning.
Brian McCann
Man.
Smoltzi
It's going to be like Little League game where it's going to get about to the fifth inning and some people are just going to say, let's go get ice cream.
Burt
Absolutely.
Smoltzi
Everybody bails.
Jeff
And can everybody come out and watch it? Like anybody can come out and watch this game?
Brian McCann
Absolutely. You show up and. And it's going to be fun.
Burt
Is it a. It's down at Georgia Tech, Right?
Smoltzi
What's the name of the stadium?
Jeff
Russ Chandler. Baseball.
Smoltzi
Baseball field.
Burt
Oh, that's like the official Georgia Tech.
Smoltzi
The big one. Yeah.
Brian McCann
Oh, wow.
Burt
So we get to play on a real field.
Brian McCann
Yeah.
Burt
All right, Cool.
Brian McCann
All I want to do is beat Chipper in a home run derby. That's basically all I want to do.
Burt
Who's competing in that? The Home Run Derby?
Brian McCann
Me, Chipper. Andrew Jones. There's going to be a guy that hits home runs, softball home runs for. That's what he does. So it's going to be impressive to see him hit the ball. And there's a couple other guys.
Smoltzi
So are you guys. The Home Run Derby, is it going to be softball home runs or they.
Brian McCann
It's going to be softball home run. So it's something that we've never done before.
Jeff
And it's slow pitch softball. Right.
Brian McCann
It better be.
Burt
I was saying the same thing.
Brian McCann
I don't think I could hit anything that's coming fast right now.
Burt
And how far are the fences in softball?
Brian McCann
I'm not sure how far it's going to be, but it's usually like 250ft, I think.
Jeff
Okay, and what is it normally on the baseball field?
Brian McCann
400 to dead center. 330 down the lines.
Jeff
Gotcha.
Burt
But as I said before, there's something about competing. Like, if you have that in your blood, like you want to win, you want to beat these guys. Right.
Brian McCann
This is bragging rights. Absolutely, I want to win. This is bragging rights for 162 games.
Burt
Because if you lose, he's got to ear Chipper in his ear the entire season.
Brian McCann
Something I don't want to hear. Right.
Smoltzi
So were you pr. Like, were you like, warm up for this. Like practice for this or you're just
Brian McCann
going to go straight? I hope I swing and miss. No I'm not. I'm not going to swing at all. I'm just going to go and see what I got. Okay.
Burt
So it's Friday night, the gates open. I think I read at 6 o', clock, right?
Brian McCann
Yep.
Burt
And then there's the home run derby
Brian McCann
at 6:30 and then the game starts at 7. Okay.
Burt
And you can get all the information up online right now@q100atlanta.com 10 bucks a person.
Smoltzi
10 bucks a person.
Burt
Again, 10 bucks a person. Am I missing anything here?
Brian McCann
That's it. That's, that's good.
Burt
Cool. We'll see you on Friday night, man.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt
And I will work on that pitch. Someday it will be you and I, friend. Awesome. It will be right here. All right. Thank you.
Brian McCann
The Birch show.
Date: May 13, 2026
Guests: Brian McCann (former MLB catcher), Bert Show hosts (Bert, Jeff, Smoltzi, etc.)
This episode is a comedic and nostalgic deep dive into Bert’s legendary “untouchable” wiffle ball pitch, with special guest MLB star Brian McCann. The conversation blends sports banter, friendly ribbing, and reflections on youthful competition, all while promoting an upcoming charity celebrity softball game for the Rally Foundation. The tone is lively, self-deprecating, and full of camaraderie characteristic of The Bert Show.
“It started really high in the strike zone. Really high. ... And it would also break inside so hard. ... It wasn’t possible to hit it.” (03:12, 03:50)
“I played a lot of wiffle ball growing up, but I don’t... I’ve never heard of a pitch like this.” (04:14)
“It’s a hero’s journey.” (07:24)
“I am aware of how pathetic the story is.” (07:28)
“I can’t find the pitch, man. ... It’s gone. It’s gone.” (06:58, 08:14)
“...if I come in here and I throw this thing to you, you’re gonna hammer me. So I would rather forfeit and say I don’t have the pitch anymore.” (08:27)
“It’s just a great cause, and you get to meet these kids and they melt your heart.” (10:19)
“All I want to do is beat Chipper in a home run derby. That’s basically all I want to do.” (11:45)
This episode perfectly encapsulates The Bert Show’s charm—mixing nostalgia, humor, playful sports obsession, and sincere community spirit. While the untouchable pitch remains missing, the mutual respect and ribbing between Bert, Brian McCann, and the team make for a delightful listen, with a meaningful charity event at its heart.