The Bert Show: Vault Interview – Simon Cowell & Paula Abdul

Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Date: October 30, 2025
Episode Theme:
A lively and candid interview from the earliest days of American Idol, featuring judges Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. The segment revisits their on-air dynamic, shares behind-the-scenes stories from the first auditions, delves into the art of giving feedback, and includes playful banter that made their relationship iconic TV. The episode captures the raw excitement and doubts surrounding a new, soon-to-be cultural phenomenon.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dynamic Between Simon and Paula

• The hosts open by acknowledging Paula Abdul as the “conscience” of the judging panel versus Simon Cowell’s notorious honesty.
• Paula Abdul (02:33):
  “That’s the cool part of the show, is that there’s three separate and distinct ways of doing constructive criticism.”
• The show teases at rumored “sexual tension” between the two judges, with Paula joking about tabloid fantasies and Simon’s imagination.
• Paula Abdul (02:53):
  “What I’ve read is Simon thinks that there’s sexual tension between us that really just, just touch me. I don’t know what dream he is having. I seriously don’t know.”

2. The Grueling Audition Process

• Paula reveals the enormity of the audition process:
  • Paula Abdul (03:14):
    “The past month, we’ve been traveling all around the country, I think, believe eight or nine cities and listened to hundreds, if not thousands.”
• Most contestants were “good but not above average.” The spectacle often lay in the shocking auditions.

3. On-Screen vs. Off-Screen Interactions

• The hosts press Paula about whether she ever confronted Simon more bluntly off-camera.
• Paula Abdul (04:00):
  “If his arm has a permanent bruise or if his left or right leg—given on any city, if you’re sitting to the right or left—me, has a permanent dent.”
• Simon and Paula’s playful adversarial dynamic is on full display:
  • Simon Cowell (04:53):
    “This girl is haunting me across America. This is the girl who used to claw outside my bedroom door begging to be let in at night.”
  • Paula Abdul (05:05):
    “Oh, you wish, Simon.”

4. Feedback Philosophy and Candor

• The tension between honesty and kindness is explored:
  • Simon admits he always told Paula not to be “so nice,” while Paula defends her constructive approach.
  • Simon Cowell (05:52):
    “Oh, permanently.” (on thinking Paula was too gentle)
  • Simon Cowell (06:56):
    “Anyone who comes to one of our auditions… If you don’t like criticism, then I would suggest you leave this audition now because we will tell you the truth.”

5. Live “American Idol” Audition with Producer Tammy (07:32–08:32)

• The Bert Show brings in their producer Tammy to sing “Happy Birthday” live for Simon.
  • Simon Cowell (08:24):
    “Good. Well, keep—keep your day job.”
  • Tammy (08:27):
    “I was getting better! I was getting better!”
• The segment is a microcosm of the show’s blend of entertainment, candor, and humor.

6. Rankings and Praise for Atlanta Auditions

• Simon singles out Atlanta as a top audition city:
  • Simon Cowell (08:52):
    “I thought Atlanta was probably second or third.”
  • He notes Atlanta’s contestants had “naturally good voices” and enthusiasm lacking in “a bit flat” LA.
  • Simon Cowell (08:56):
    “…There was a girl who came from Atlanta who I think I described as not having the X factor, but the Z factor. I thought she was sensational.”

7. Wrapping up: Promise of More

• Simon graciously offers to return for more check-ins throughout the season.
  • Simon Cowell (09:36):
    “Whenever you want. I'm going to be there for the three months on and off. So, you know, whenever you want to do something, you know, I'd be delighted to.”
  • He ends with a signature wink:
    “As long as I'm not in hiding.” (09:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Paula Abdul (02:33):
  “That's the cool part of the show, is that there's three separate and distinct ways of doing constructive criticism.”
• Simon Cowell (04:53):
  “This girl is haunting me across America. This is the girl who used to claw outside my bedroom door begging to be let in at night.”
• Simon Cowell (08:24):
  “Good. Well, keep—keep your day job.” (to Tammy after her singing audition)
• Simon Cowell (08:56):
  “There was a girl who came from Atlanta who I think I described as not having the X factor, but the Z factor. I thought she was sensational.”
• Simon Cowell (09:36):
  “Whenever you want... I'd be delighted to.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:44] Introduction, Paula joins the show
• [02:33] Paula on panel dynamics and constructive criticism
• [03:14] Paula describes the audition tour
• [04:53] Simon joins; chemistry and banter with Paula
• [06:56] Simon on honesty in auditions
• [07:32] Live “American Idol” with producer Tammy
• [08:52] Simon ranks Atlanta audition talent
• [09:36] Simon offers to return and stays witty to the end

Overall Tone

• The interview is authentic, playful, and filled with good-natured ribbing between Simon and Paula.
• The hosts foster a relaxed atmosphere that encourages candid insights and fun exchanges.
• The episode spotlights why the early American Idol chemistry resonated—each judge’s personality shines in a mix of empathy, toughness, and memorable showbiz moments.