Vault: Introducing Hoss

Summary

The Bert Show — "Vault: Introducing Hoss"

Episode Date: November 18, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
**Summary by The Bert Show Cast: Bert, Jamie Massey, Melissa, Jen, Hoss (new member), and callers

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Episode Overview

This high-spirited episode heralds the arrival of Hoss, the Bert Show’s newest cast member. The team introduces Hoss to listeners in their signature fun, irreverent style—probing his background, poking fun at his Southern roots, and crafting a set of challenges designed to welcome him (and throw him in the deep end) of Atlanta’s social scene. The episode is equal parts playful hazing, genuine curiosity, and camaraderie as the cast and callers help Hoss make his mark.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming the New Guy — Hoss’s Introduction (01:33–03:36)

• The show reflects on the rarity of adding new members, noting that Hoss brings fresh energy.

• Hoss shares his recent chaotic move from North Carolina to Atlanta, compounded by attending a wedding and adapting to a city much bigger than he's used to.

  Quote:
  Hoss: “It’s been crazy. Crazy. I had to go to a wedding this weekend and a wedding on top of moving, on top of driving three hours down here, it’s just…it’s just insane. Absolutely insane.” (02:52)

2. Background Check — Getting to Know Hoss (03:33–04:48)

• The hosts quiz Hoss on his roots: Hoss grew up in Charlotte, went to Appalachian State, and worked with the well-known Ace & TJ radio show.

• His recent stint in Raleigh was brief, leading up to his Atlanta arrival.

  Quote:
  Hoss: “I went to college. A little small school called Appalachian State.” (03:41)
  Bert: “You started working in radio for a morning show in Charlotte that people that listen to this show know about…Then he took off and went to Raleigh for about, what, three weeks, I think.” (03:50)

3. Atlanta Growing Pains — Adjusting to a Big City (04:48–06:46)

• Hoss confesses he’s become a “hermit,” barely venturing out of his hotel and getting lost whenever he does.

• The team's banter underscores Atlanta’s confusing layout for newcomers—listeners and hosts empathize with tales of directional disasters.

  Quote:
  Hoss: “Charlotte and Raleigh combined aren’t as large as this city. I mean, it’s just absolutely insane.” (06:16)
  Jamie Massey: “I remember when I moved to Atlanta, it took me about nine months before I felt like I knew where I was going.” (06:36)

4. Hoss’s Personality & Quirks: Fan Feedback and Celebrity Comparisons (06:54–09:20)

• Multiple callers and the cast point out that Hoss’s voice resembles Bill Clinton’s (cue impersonation).

• The team teases Hoss about being a bit of a “mama’s boy,” his mother creating color-coded, laminated checklists for him even at 24.

  Quote:
  Melissa (prompted by callers): “Say that you didn’t have sexual relations with that woman.”
  Hoss (in Bill Clinton voice): “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” (07:06)

  Hoss: “Mom’s a kind of bit of a nerd. She likes to make spreadsheets and likes to laminate everything that you can think of.” (08:58)

5. Relationship Status and the Atlanta Social Scene (07:21–12:11)

• Hoss is single, having just broken up with his girlfriend.

• The crew jokes about his club attire—showing up in “polo and shorts” for a dressy night out.

• Differences between Southern small cities and Atlanta’s nightlife are highlighted; Hoss admits he’s unfamiliar with the city’s hotspots.

  Quote:
  Bert: “So he shows up to my house, and he has, like, shorts on. Like…was it a T-shirt or polo shirt?”
  Hoss: “It was a polo.” (11:38)

  Hoss: “And in Raleigh, they have like, maybe three, four clubs combined between the two cities. And you can wear anything you want in there. I mean, there’s no dress code, there’s no dressing.” (11:56)

6. Fun Facts & Rapid Fire Q&A (09:32–12:53)

• Hoss answers questions about his family (he has a younger brother, now a college freshman), and demonstrates his ability to answer random trivia—e.g., “Why is poop brown?” (“Bile,” he answers matter-of-factly).
• The team tries to match him to a celebrity lookalike (Brendan Fraser is mentioned, causing mock offense).
• Hoss describes his typical night out: dinner with friends, followed by bar hopping.

7. Listener Interactions – Old Fans and Deep Fears (13:02–13:59)

• A caller from Charlotte recognizes Hoss and shares tidbits for Atlanta listeners.

• Revealed: Hoss has a crippling fear of snakes, once even crying on air during a snake-related “bit.”

  Quote:
  Bert: “You got a fear of snakes, dude?”
  Hoss: “Come on.”
  Bert: “Yeah. Bad fear of snakes.”
  Hoss: “Bad.” (13:39)

8. The MySpace Challenge & Atlanta Integration Assignment (14:22–18:50)

• The show concocts a humorous but heartfelt “integration” assignment: Hoss must create a MySpace page, amass Atlanta-based friends, and begin to document his local adventures (with meetup challenges and photo slideshows).

• They list area hotspots (Peachtree Tavern, Moondogs, Claremont Lounge, Bulldogs) and set the expectation that, very soon, Hoss will be Atlanta’s “most well-known and popular person.”

• The crew promises to promote Hoss’s MySpace page and ensure listeners send suggestions and invitations.

  Quotes:
  Jen: “What we would like to have you do is embrace this city using MySpace…” (16:07)
  Bert: “You should be prepared to go out on a date tomorrow night with somebody that has become your friends on MySpace.” (17:23)

• Bert personally promises Hoss a rite of passage: an inaugural trip to the iconic Claremont Lounge strip club.

  Quote:
  Bert: “I am taking you…to your first strip club. I am going to take you to a place called the Claremont Lounge. Okay?” (18:09)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Why He’s Not Explored Atlanta Yet:
  “Every time I get in my truck, I get lost every time I've got in my truck.” – Hoss (04:32)

• On His Mom’s Packing Skills:
  “She likes to make spreadsheets and likes to laminate everything that you can think of.” – Hoss (08:58)

• On A Night Out in Raleigh:
  “My boys. Definitely. Definitely friends.” – Hoss (11:06)

• On Hoss’s Celebrity Doppelgänger:
  “Brendan Fraser says Massey, maybe.” – Bert (08:13)
  “Oh, I don't like you right now.” – Hoss (08:18)

• The “Snake Bit” Confession:
  “At my last...my last day with...Ace and TJ, they made me do a...a snake bit, and I end up crying.” – Hoss (13:47)

• On Upcoming Assignments:
  “You have 24 hours to do that. We'll meet back around the same time tomorrow morning. We'll talk about your page, and then we'll get you out on the town starting tomorrow night.” – Bert (17:46)

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Important Timestamps

• Introduction to Hoss – 01:33
• Recap of Hoss’s Move & Atlanta Woes – 02:35–06:30
• Rapid-Fire Background & Q&A – 08:32–12:10
• Call-In: Hoss’s Radio Past & Snake Fear Confession – 13:02–13:59
• Laying Out the MySpace & Atlanta Integration Challenge – 14:22–18:50
• Show Wrap, Assignments, and Farewell – 18:50–19:09

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential Bert Show blend of humor and heart. By the end, listeners not only meet Hoss (in all his awkward, earnest, and endearing glory) but are invited to engage directly—both online and in person—to help make Atlanta feel like home for the newcomer. From “snake bit” stories to tales of laminated checklists, it’s a playful and communal introduction, setting the stage for future adventures.

“Great to have you part of the team, D. Really excited to have you part of the whole thing.” – Bert (18:50)

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For those just tuning in: This episode introduces the new Bert Show member Hoss, offers behind-the-scenes high jinks, and launches an ongoing public challenge to immerse Hoss in Atlanta, with plenty of laughs and local flavor.

Transcript

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[Bert]

The Burt show it has been a long time since we introduced a new Burt show member.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, Jamie Massey is the latest.

[Melissa]

Correct.

[Bert]

But it feels a little different, I think because Massey was part of the radio station. Oh no, no. I guess at that point she wasn't. She came over here from Star.

[Jen]

Everything's a long time in your world. So we'll go. Yeah, it's been a while.

[Jamie Massey]

Your memory.

[Bert]

I mean, I've got things backed up because she was working with Dylan and still is. But then she started coming in and doing the show here. But before that.

[Melissa]

And then Phil Was here, and then Phil left, and then Phil came back, and then before that, I guess, was Jen Hobby.

[Bert]

So five years.

[Jamie Massey]

Four years. I'm. I'm. My age on the Bert show is as old as Melissa's kidney.

[Melissa]

My kidney.

[Bert]

Is that how you.

[Jamie Massey]

That's how I remember it.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jamie Massey]

So four years I've been here.

[Bert]

So today we introduce Hoss.

[Hoss]

I like that.

[Bert]

To the Birch. It's going on.

[Hoss]

What's going on, man?

[Bert]

How are you?

[Hoss]

I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

[Bert]

Hoss is actually beat. He technically moved last night from Raleigh. Right.

[Hoss]

From Charlotte. Raleigh, yeah. Everywhere.

[Bert]

So what Was the last 24 hours like for you? He's been here for two weeks, but hasn't seen Atlanta because he hasn't left his hotel room.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Hoss]

A little bit of a hermit. It's been crazy. Crazy. I had to go to a wedding this weekend and a wedding on top of moving, on top of driving three hours down here, it's just. It's just insane. Absolutely insane.

[Melissa]

Moving sucks.

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Now, did you move yourself? Did you have anybody to help you out?

[Hoss]

My mom, but, you know, she can't really move anything. So.

[Melissa]

She just told you. She pointed.

[Hoss]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Jen]

She come down here with you and help you unpack?

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Mama Hoss. I guess you wouldn't like that name.

[Bert]

Hoss is a bit of a mama's boy. Like he had. Tell them about the list, the checklist that she put together for you. And again, you're how old?

[Hoss]

24.

[Bert]

24 years old. Thanks.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, let's get more of the basics down. Where'd you grow up?

[Hoss]

Charlotte, North Carolina.

[Jamie Massey]

Okay. And so did you go to college after high school?

[Hoss]

I went to college. A little small school called Appalachian State.

[Jamie Massey]

Okay, and then you started working in radio?

[Hoss]

Started working in radio for a morning.

[Bert]

Show in Charlotte that people that listen to this show know about. Cause we've been on with Ace and TJ for, I mean, a lot of different times, and there could be people.

[Melissa]

Who moved here from Charlotte that already know Hoss.

[Bert]

Then he took off and went to Raleigh.

[Hoss]

Took off and went to Raleigh for about, what, three weeks, I think. Three weeks.

[Jen]

And then Raleigh's where it's at, isn't it?

[Hoss]

Yes, it is. Absolutely. Good Lord.

[Bert]

But, yeah.

[Hoss]

Went there for three weeks and then moved down here. Like, what? This would be my third week, I think. Yeah.

[Bert]

And you've been here for two, two, three weeks. And how much of Atlanta have you seen, Hoss?

[Hoss]

Absolutely not.

[Bert]

Couldn't get the dude to leave his hotel room.

[Melissa]

Well, it's intimidating. If you've never, like, spent time here, you wouldn't even know where to start.

[Hoss]

Yeah, I've gotten lost every time I've got in my truck.

[Jen]

I gotta tell you. On Friday, Tracy was following Hoss back to his apartment to drop off his car. Cause she was giving him a ride to the airport. And so I happened to be in the Costco. You know, it's down near the Home Depot. And Tracy and we. If you don't know, the radio station is located right near Northside Hospital in Sandy Springs. Sandy Springs. Mm. And Hoss is living in an apartment complex on Roswell Road. It's kind of between Sandy Springs and Dunwoody.

[Jamie Massey]

Are you gonna give out his address?

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Hello? No. Which is why I said he lives on an apartment complex in Roswell Road. So the easiest way to get from our radio station to his apartment complex is to simply get on Roswell Road and turn right. Mm.

[Melissa]

Very close to the station.

[Jen]

Tracy calls me and says, hey. She's whispering, even though she's in a different car. Hey, Hoss is over near the Home Depot. Are we lost? You could not have gone a farther.

[Melissa]

Away, the wrong direction.

[Jen]

I think you went up. Like, I don't even know how you got there. Like that would have been. If somebody said, hey, will you get me to your apartment complex via the Home Depot? I'd have to think about it.

[Melissa]

But that's easy to say when you've lived in this area for a while. Because we've been here in this building at the station, what, at least four years now or so. And so this area, because even, you know, spending this weekend, I was talking about how I was over at Northside Hospital and just people who were there to visit, people from. Not from here. This is a very confusing area to get around. So, I mean, so I can see why has not gone out and visited Atlanta yet. Because he needs. He needs help in doing it.

[Hoss]

Yeah. Charlotte and Raleigh combined aren't as large as the city. I mean, it's just absolutely insane.

[Bert]

Are you intimidated when you're driving around like there's too big? Yeah.

[Hoss]

I got lost this morning.

[Bert]

And you've been here before? Yeah, many times. Yeah.

[Jen]

I was coming to the station.

[Hoss]

To the station this morning. Yep. I went about 15 minutes out of my way.

[Jamie Massey]

That is so frustrating, too. I remember when I moved to Atlanta, it took me about nine months before I felt like I knew where I was going. I was always questioning. For about nine months. It'll take that long. I'm sorry.

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Bert]

The phone lines are lit up, and everybody is saying the exact same thing.

[Jamie Massey]

What?

[Bert]

Hey, Ashley. Good morning.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hi.

[Jen]

I just think he's. I think Haas. You sound like Bill Clinton.

[Hoss]

I've heard that my entire life.

[Bert]

Everybody, all the four lines lit up saying the exact same thing.

[Melissa]

Say that you didn't have sexual relations with that woman.

[Hoss]

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

[Bert]

I mean, that's crazy.

[Hoss]

Now that everybody's pointed it out. I've always had. Yeah, I've always got that. If it doesn't make it any better that I'm hoarse right now from a wedding and just moving and all that type stuff.

[Bert]

So did you get your drink on pretty good this weekend?

[Hoss]

A little bit. Just a tad bit.

[Jamie Massey]

So, h. I'm sure all the ladies want to know, are you single?

[Hoss]

I am currently single. I am. Been. Just broke up with a. With a girl a couple months ago.

[Bert]

This the same girl that was shacking up with you at the hotel a couple of weeks ago?

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Jen]

What do you mean she came down?

[Melissa]

It's a relationship that kind of tapered off.

[Bert]

Little big city sex.

[Jen]

Hey, let me show you. They put me up in a motor lodge. You want to come down? Bring your quarters, because this bed can go crazy.

[Bert]

To give a visual. Does Hoss look like any close to any celebrity?

[Jamie Massey]

Oh, gosh. I should have had some more time to prepare.

[Jen]

I think he looks like Spike Lee.

[Hoss]

Exactly.

[Jamie Massey]

I'm going to have to think about the celebrity.

[Bert]

Who? Brendan Fraser says Massey, maybe.

[Hoss]

Oh, I don't like you right now.

[Melissa]

You don't like him?

[Hoss]

I'm just playing. No, I like. I mean, he just. He kind of looks like a. Like an ogre.

[Bert]

Like a what?

[Hoss]

An ogre.

[Bert]

An ogre.

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Hoss is not an ogre.

[Hoss]

Yeah, thanks.

[Bert]

I can't.

[Jen]

Really helps.

[Bert]

I'm not. I'm not picking up on any celebrity vibe at all. Let's go around the room and ask one question each of Haas to get to know him better.

[Jamie Massey]

Okay, you start.

[Bert]

It's a stupid question. Mine is more of an observation. We still didn't get to you defining how much of a mama's boy you are, because I saw a bible of information that your mom left you for this move at 24 years old.

[Hoss]

Yeah, Mom's a kind of bit of a nerd. She likes to make spreadsheets and likes to laminate everything that you can think of.

[Jen]

She met Tracy Pelosi.

[Hoss]

Oh, Tracy saw this. And Tracy, before she saw this, was thinking she's the biggest, you know, organizer. And that Type stuff. She has nothing on my mom, and she's admitted that she has nothing on my mom. Oh, Tracy.

[Melissa]

Something to aspire to.

[Bert]

I mean, it was like color coding, and it was like different fonts, different checklists and fonts, but you're 24 years old. Like, you should be able to figure this stuff out kind of yourself.

[Hoss]

It's not like I. She just goes ahead and does this so. I mean, I can do this stuff on my own, but yeah, she just goes ahead and helps me out. She's gonna help me out. I'm not gonna tell her no. You know, it makes my life easier.

[Bert]

Did you live at home when you were in Charlotte?

[Hoss]

No, I lived with a guy from the show. From the Ace and TJ Show.

[Melissa]

I have a question. Do you have any siblings? And if you do, who, like what?

[Jamie Massey]

Damn, was that mine?

[Hoss]

She stole my question notes. I have one younger brother. He is. He's 18 and just started freshman year at N. Okay, that's it.

[Melissa]

And you're the oldest.

[Hoss]

I'm the oldest.

[Jen]

I have a question.

[Jamie Massey]

Damn.

[Hoss]

Carry on.

[Bert]

He hasn't even asked it yet.

[Jen]

Why? Can you tell us why?

[Jamie Massey]

Oh.

[Jen]

Can you tell us why poop is brown?

[Melissa]

He can now, thanks to Oakland.

[Bert]

Why is it brown? What makes the poop brown is the bile. That's your answer for now. Hobby.

[Jamie Massey]

First of all, I think he looks like a combination of Britney's Manny and Nick Lachey.

[Hoss]

Brittany's who?

[Bert]

Manny, Brittany's nanny. None of the nanny.

[Hoss]

Oh, the nanny.

[Jamie Massey]

Manny and Nick Lachey. But you're like a guy's guy. Yeah.

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Jamie Massey]

Okay. So has what would be a typical night out for you in Raleigh? Like, typical Saturday? What are you doing?

[Hoss]

Probably gonna go get dinner at some. Some type of restaurant, then hitting some. Some pubs, some bars. That type stuff?

[Bert]

Definitely.

[Jen]

I mean, a club scene in Raleigh's off the chain.

[Hoss]

It's absolutely nuts.

[Jamie Massey]

Like, who would you be going out to dinner with and that sort of thing?

[Hoss]

My boys. Definitely. Definitely friends.

[Bert]

Just to give you a little bit of, like, the mentality. About a week ago, I invited him to go out with some of my friends, and we were all gonna go to Lotus. You know, it's. You gotta kind of dress up to go to Lotus. You know, it's kind of place to be seen. Velvet rope type of place. So I'm like, dude, why don't you just come on out with us? We'll all go out, we'll hang out, we'll drink it up a little bit. I'll show you a little bit of Atlanta. So I said, but you got to dress up a little bit. Place kind of dressy, you know? So he shows up to my house, and he has, like, shorts on. Like, was it a T shirt or polo shirt?

[Hoss]

It was polo. It was a polo.

[Jen]

You said dressy, Burt.

[Bert]

Beach sandals. And I had to say, dude, you can't go out with this. There's just no way that we can get you in a Lotus. But I don't know if that's your definition of dressing up or you just didn't have clothes.

[Melissa]

Horse. Okay, yeah, and he's from North Carolina.

[Bert]

Come on.

[Jen]

He drives a truck in Charlotte.

[Hoss]

And in Raleigh, they have like, maybe three, four clubs combined between the two cities. And you can wear anything you want in there. I mean, there's no dress there. There's no dressing.

[Jen]

Get in a few frames of bowling and go roller skating. Exactly. Exactly.

[Hoss]

All in the same building.

[Bert]

There are plenty of places you can go, and you don't have to dress up.

[Jamie Massey]

I mean, I picture Haas very at home at Moondogs.

[Melissa]

Yeah, for sure.

[Hoss]

What is that?

[Bert]

Type of Peachtree Tavern?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah, just like, kind of like, laid back. Like, dude bar.

[Jen]

Let me ask you, Hoss. Here's my question.

[Hoss]

Okay?

[Jen]

Pretend you're writing a personal ad for Friends.

[Hoss]

Okay?

[Jen]

Let's hear it.

[Hoss]

24, brown hair, hazel eyes, single guys, guy, love sports, love to drink.

[Melissa]

That's wrong because there's no initials in there. You have to have. You know.

[Bert]

Somebody else can give us a little insight into Haas. Hey, Jermaine. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Jen]

Hey, what's going on, guys? Hey, what's going on, Hoff?

[Hoss]

What's going on, man? How you doing?

[Jen]

Good, man, good. Didn't really expect to hear you down here in Atlanta. Why?

[Hoss]

Where have you heard me before?

[Bert]

Ace and tj. Oh, you're from Charlotte.

[Jen]

Yeah, I'm from Charlotte, but I've been listening. Actually, I listen to both you guys shows, so I kind of know a lot about Hoss.

[Melissa]

What's your favorite thing about him?

[Jen]

He may not like this, but he's a fear of snakes.

[Bert]

You got a fear of snakes, dude?

[Hoss]

Come on.

[Bert]

Yeah. Bad fear of snakes.

[Hoss]

Bad.

[Jen]

Why did they do, like, a snake sign?

[Hoss]

At my last. My last day with. Yeah, with Ace and tj, they made me do a. A snake bit, and I end up crying.

[Jamie Massey]

Oh, you did?

[Bert]

Literally crying.

[Hoss]

Oh, yeah. I'm scared to death of snakes.

[Bert]

Well, we know what we're doing tomorrow. Pencil that information.

[Jen]

Hey, Jermaine, whose show is better, Ours or ACE and TJ's.

[Melissa]

That means I like both of you guys.

[Jen]

Okay, well, hold on a minute. Who do you like better? Just overall, me or Ace? Yeah, Me. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bert]

Can I answer that? Because I'm going with Ace. We have thought of an assignment for you over the next 24 hours, okay? And we know you're tired. You just moved to Atlanta. But in watching your interaction the last two weeks, we're all a little bit concerned that you just haven't left that hotel room at all. No interaction with anybody in Atlanta whatsoever.

[Jen]

Well, now that his mom's here, he'll probably be going out on dates and stuff.

[Bert]

Yeah. Exactly how long is she staying for?

[Hoss]

She's leaving today.

[Bert]

She's leaving today. All right, so once she leaves the nest, then you're all on your own.

[Jen]

You have the bed all to yourself again. When she leaves you today, no more spooning for us.

[Jamie Massey]

She's leaving her baby in the big city.

[Melissa]

I know.

[Jen]

Hey, now remember, just because it's okay in Charlotte and Raleigh, you cannot tongue kiss her out in public.

[Hoss]

Gotta remember that.

[Jen]

Down. Hands on top of the shirt there, Jeff.

[Melissa]

Stop.

[Bert]

It's his mom you're talking about, too.

[Melissa]

It's mama.

[Bert]

Ha. She's probably listening right now.

[Jen]

I'm just saying, she's going to say.

[Melissa]

She'S going to say a prayer for you today, honey.

[Jen]

This is a. This is a little more of a cosmopolitan city. That's all I'm saying.

[Hoss]

I got to write that down.

[Bert]

So we want to get you out a little bit. The names of these places. Peachtree Tavern, Moondogs, I think you said. Also, these are just names to you. We want to get you out a little bit and interacting with the Atlanta community.

[Hoss]

Sweet.

[Bert]

And we already know that you're into MySpace. You have your own page. All right, we're going to give you an assignment over the next 24 hours.

[Jen]

What we want to do is let you get to know the city. So want to have you create a brand new MySpace page. If you need any help, Jim Fallon can help you because she's a MySpace expert.

[Hoss]

Okay?

[Jen]

And this is gonna have. When we see it tomorrow, it's gonna be very lonely because there will be no comments and there will just be Tom.

[Jamie Massey]

Just you and Tom.

[Jen]

Just you and Tom. And what we would like to have you do is embrace this city using MySpace. So we will, you know, give that. We'll link up the. The MySpace page to our website. We'll all make our. Our friends. Well, Jen and I will. Bert Meliss. Believe in computers or technology.

[Melissa]

Oh, just MySpace over the age of 30.

[Jen]

So I'm 29.

[Jamie Massey]

Thank you very much.

[Jen]

I'm 24 on MySpace.

[Commercial Announcer]

Ooh.

[Jamie Massey]

Then I'm gonna have to be 22.

[Jen]

So we'll link y' all up so people can find your page easily, and then we will talk about, you know, talk about it on the air and have people submit comments, send you messages, join your friend group, all with suggestions on what they could do.

[Hoss]

And.

[Jen]

And then, you know, occasionally you can go out with them on your own, but occasionally, if we see something that's particularly intriguing, then we could suggest you go out and experience that part of Atlanta, you know, based on the. The comment that somebody has left or the message that somebody sent you or us, we'll have you go out with a camera, take tons of pictures, and. Because, I mean, what is it up to? 115 million people on MySpace. Like, you should, I would say, inside of 30 days, be the most well known and popular person in Atlanta.

[Bert]

I would say this, that you should be prepared to go out on a date tomorrow night with somebody that has become your friends on MySpace.

[Hoss]

That's gonna be hard.

[Jen]

All right.

[Hoss]

Going out with a girl on a date.

[Jen]

All right.

[Bert]

I know you're not used to that.

[Hoss]

I think I can make it work. Ow. Ow. I think I can make it work.

[Bert]

And you should be prepared to do this on Thursday and Friday also.

[Commercial Announcer]

All right.

[Bert]

All right. So create the page. You have 24 hours to do that. We'll meet back around the same time tomorrow morning. We'll talk about your page, and then we'll get you out on the town starting tomorrow night.

[Commercial Announcer]

Cool.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jen]

And if you. And if you want to head out tonight, kind of get warmed up, remember the names. Peachtree Tavern, Hole in the Wall, Bulldogs.

[Melissa]

Jeff. Now, now, now.

[Bert]

And I am going to take you for.

[Melissa]

I never set him up like that.

[Bert]

I am taking you because it's an Atlanta tradition, to your first strip club. I am going to take you to a place called the Claremont Lounge. Okay?

[Melissa]

You have to go to the Claremont Lounge.

[Hoss]

Have to.

[Bert]

It is tradition.

[Jen]

What about girls?

[Melissa]

Jeff would just be at Bulldogs.

[Bert]

Yeah, Girls are fun.

[Jen]

What about Girls are Fun?

[Bert]

We just drop them off.

[Hoss]

Girls are fun.

[Jen]

Seriously, if you want to grab a couple beers today, just get in the cab and go. Bulldogs. Take it right there.

[Jamie Massey]

You got a blog about all of your experiences on MySpace, too. We got to get some slideshows happening with all these photos of these people that you're meeting, and we'll just kind of create this new, new Atlanta friend group around you to get you exposed to the city. All of it on MySpace so everybody can follow you as you go.

[Hoss]

Sweet.

[Bert]

All right, so come in Tomorrow morning, new MySpace page created and be prepared to go out tomorrow night. All right, Great to have you part of the team, D. Really excited to have you part of the whole thing.

[Hoss]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Bert]

Thanks, man.

[Jamie Massey]

All right, and everybody's going to want to know what he looks like too. So we'll get that photo up as soon as possible. Right?

[Bert]

Well, tomorrow morning I'll put it up on the MySpace. All right, now get out of here.

[Hoss]

Wait.

[Jen]

Bulldogs the Birch Show.

[Bert]

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[Jen]

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