Vault: Is 7-years old Too Young for "The Birds and the Bees" talk?

Summary

---

The Bert Show: "Vault: Is 7-years-old Too Young for the 'Birds and the Bees' Talk?"

Original Air Date: May 11, 2026
Hosts: Bert & The Bert Show Cast
Featured Guest: Allison (Makeup Artist & Sex Therapist)

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the challenging and often awkward territory of when and how to discuss sex and sexuality—"the birds and the bees"—with children, especially at a young age. The conversation is led by Allison, a makeup artist-turned-sex therapist, who has maintained a frank and ongoing dialogue about sex and bodies with her children. Allison shares candid conversations with her now-14-year-old daughter, highlights key advice from sexual health experts, and reflects on the impact of open parental communication in an age when most kids learn about sex through peers, pop culture, and the internet.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Rationale for Early, Ongoing Conversations

• Dialogue Should Begin Early:

  • Allison emphasizes starting conversations about sex and bodies early, responding to children’s questions as they arise to foster trust and openness.
  • Quote: "The whole point is to start an open dialogue when they're young." (Allison, 01:21)

• Answering Questions as They Come:

  • Allison shares her mother’s advice (an elementary school teacher): "You always answer their questions." (Allison, 02:43)
  • The approach isn’t to overwhelm kids with information, but to keep channels open so kids feel comfortable asking.

• Developmentally Appropriate Honesty:

  • The nature and complexity of 'the talk' should evolve as the child matures.
  • When her children asked only basic questions about anatomy or reproduction, Allison provided simple, truthful answers and waited for their curiosity to grow before expanding the conversation. (02:00)

Navigating Gender Differences

• Different Dynamics for Sons and Daughters:

  • Allison notes she tends to leave conversations with her son to her husband, acknowledging it can be uncomfortable to discuss sensitive topics directly with children of the opposite gender. (03:30)

• Normalizing Vocabulary:

  • She describes the importance of using anatomically correct terms, citing her work as a makeup artist on The Vagina Monologues.
  • Memorable: "Could I actually, like, leave the place going. Vagina, vagina, vagina. Okay, I can say it." (Allison, 04:48)

Misconceptions, Orgasms, and Female Pleasure

• Sexual Misinformation is Rampant:

  • Many women, Allison included, did not learn about female orgasm or pleasure until much later in life.
  • Notable Statistic: "43% of American women are either non-orgasmic or will be non-orgasmic for a significant period of their lives." (Allison, 05:48)

• Highlighting the Orgasm Gap:

  • Only about 17 out of 100 women can orgasm through intercourse alone. (Allison, 06:20)
  • Quote: "The part that gives you pleasure is not attached to your vagina, people." (Allison, 06:27)

• Candid With Kids About Pleasure:

  • Allison is transparent with her daughter about the realities of sex, pleasure, and body parts.
  • Her daughter's reaction: "Well, you said some... Like, you didn't explain to me well what a girl orgasm is. Is it just for, like, pleasure?" (Allison's Daughter, 08:58)

• Innocence & Embarrassment:

  • The daughter’s innocent-yet-curious reactions—like proclaiming, “That's not fair to the guy”—illuminate how children try to make sense of these adult topics. (09:10)

Where Kids Get Their Information

• Peers & Pop Culture Trump Parents:

  • Only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are most influenced by their mothers. (Allison, 14:26)
  • The rest learn from friends, TV, movies, and the internet.
  • Quote: "So the message there is loud and clear that parents aren't talking to the kids. ...They're educating each other." (Show Host, 14:02)

• Examples From Media:

  • References to pop culture (e.g., jokes from movies like "Click," discussions about threesomes due to "Gossip Girl") drive home how much media shapes teen understanding and questions about sex. (10:44, 14:51)

• Risks of Unmediated Exposure:

  • Accidental visits to inappropriate websites (like confusing "dollz" with "dollhouse") lead to tricky parenting moments. (03:40)

Sexting, Joking & Social Media

• Kids Use Terminology Casually (Even if They Don’t Understand):

  • Allison’s daughter recounts schoolmates joking about "orgasm" or texting about it, not always grasping the terms.
  • "They're texting... Are you orgasming? Are you orgasming?" (Allison, 11:34)

• Introduction of 'Sexting':

  • Both Allison and the hosts discuss the modern challenge of "sexting" among kids and how it can be misunderstood or used in jest. (11:56)

Parental Attitude Makes a Difference

• Don’t Overreact:

  • Allison cites Dr. Laura Berman’s guidance: If you react with shock or discomfort, your child is less likely to approach you again. (15:58)
  • Quote: "You have to be as least reactive as possible. That if you hesitate for a moment, they're not gonna come to you again." (Allison, 15:58)

• Giving Information Isn’t Giving Permission:

  • Many parents worry that talking openly will encourage experimentation.
  • Allison’s mantra: "Information is not permission. Information is not permission." (Allison, 19:24)

• Empowerment Reduces Risk:

  • Her daughter, empowered by knowledge, feels confident saying no, and is not "afraid." (20:20)
  • Quote: "She is so empowered... She's totally into it... She's willing to come and talk about it." (Allison, 20:19)

The Problems with Abstinence-Only Education

• Evidence Against Abstinence-Only Messaging:
  • Allison references new research:
    • Abstinence-only education does not delay sexual activity and may deter contraceptive use, thus increasing unintended pregnancy and STD risks.
    • Stat: Six in ten teens have sex before graduating high school; 730,000 teen girls will become pregnant annually. (20:23)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "The whole point is to start an open dialogue when they're young."
  — Allison (01:21)

• "You always answer their questions."
  — Allison referencing her mother, an elementary school teacher (02:43)

• "You want to be the source of information for your kid, period."
  — Allison (08:38)

• "Only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are mostly influenced by their mothers."
  — Allison, citing research (14:26)

• "Information is not permission. Information is not permission."
  — Allison (19:24)

• "If you react with shock or discomfort, your child is less likely to approach you again."
  — Allison on Dr. Berman's advice (15:58)

• "The part that gives you pleasure is not attached to your vagina, people."
  — Allison (06:27)

• "She is so empowered... She's totally into it... She's willing to come and talk about it."
  — Allison about her daughter (20:19)

• "Abstinence-only strategies may deter contraceptive use among sexually active teens, increasing their risk of unintended pregnancy and STDs."
  — Allison, referencing new research (20:23)

---

Highlighted Segments (with Timestamps)

• [01:01–02:43]: Allison’s open approach to early conversations, using her own family as an example.
• [05:25–06:27]: Candid statistics and realities about orgasm and pleasure—why so many women are uninformed, and the ripple effect on the next generation.
• [08:58–10:54]: Excerpts from Allison’s real talks with her daughter, revealing innocence, curiosity, and how the two navigate tricky questions together.
• [12:05–14:26]: Discussion of where kids actually get their information about sex (and where they're not getting it—from parents).
• [15:58–18:21]: Strategies for parents: staying calm in the face of tough questions, why matter-of-factness works, and the importance of not giving "permission" just by informing.
• [20:23–21:23]: Research-based critique of abstinence-only education and its consequences.

---

Takeaways

• Open, honest, continuous conversations about sex are essential and should adapt to the child’s age and questions.
• Most youth learn about sex from peers and pop culture—not parents—unless communication channels are intentionally established.
• Providing information is not the same as granting permission; youth can be empowered and cautious at the same time.
• Parents' discomfort or overreaction shuts down communication, while matter-of-fact responses encourage openness and safety.
• Sex education should emphasize facts and empowerment rather than restrictiveness, given that research shows abstinence-only strategies are not effective.

---

This episode is both revelatory and relatable, packed with practical advice, real family experiences, and a humorous, relaxed tone—a true representation of The Bert Show’s authentic approach to real-life topics.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

With the new Myloes Pro Rewards. American Express Card earn 3 points per dollar spent on Lowe's qualifying purchases for the first six months after Card Account opening, plus save 5% every day on eligible purchases at Lowe's and earn points on eligible purchases everywhere else. AMEX is accepted. Card members get more at Lowe's, subject to credit approval. 5% can't be combined with any other offer. Exclusions and restrictions apply. Points subject to loyalty terms@lowe's.com terms and credit reward [e-mail] MLPRA terms visit lowe's.com

[Grocery Store Promoter]

businesscredit save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons this week at Safeway and Albertsons fresh cut cantaloupe, watermelon, pineapple or melon medley bowls 24 ounces are $5 each and wild caught lobster tails are $4.99 each. Limit eight member price, plus selected sizes and varieties of Doritos, Lays, Cheetos, sun chips and Kettle cooked chips are $1.99 each. Limit four member price. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

[Show Host]

Listen, it's the vert show, so we're gonna get into some real this is pretty brave stuff here. This is really, really bold stuff. Alison and her daughter, very open dialogue, just about everything, as your husband was explaining to me Saturday night. You guys really just talk about it

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

all, all of it.

[Show Host]

So when sex came up, this was. You are not scared about it?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Well, you know, we've been talking, you know, as open as, I mean, as young as Hayden's age. You know, I heard you make that comment. Yeah. I mean, they come home with questions, you know, and they start very innocently. And, you know, I've a lot of I read went and read the expert advice about how to talk to your kid like I have my own. And then I read Dr. Laura Berman and her advice is exactly my advice, which I was like, astounded. I was thrilled. I was like, oh my God. And the whole point is to start an open dialogue when they're young is

[Show Host]

the can I take from this that, you know, it's time to have the conversation with your child when they come to you about it first?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah. Well, you know, part of it, like my daughter never put the pieces together. Like, she started off, you know, when she was like, you know, I gave the, well, you have a vagina and your brother has a penis and mommy this and but there was no how does the baby get made like it was, okay, there's sperm, okay, there's eggs, there's a baby, the mommy carries it. But it wasn't. How does the sperm get in the mm? So at one point when she was about 10, you know, like going into fifth grade, I knew she was going to middle school. I had to sit her down and go, so have you given much thought as to how that happens?

[Show Host]

So she never brought it up. You initiated the first conversation.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Not the very first one. I mean, they start talking and they start hearing about it. You know the question, my mother's an elementary school teacher and what she said to me was, you always answer their questions. And that's one of the things you'll hear on the tape is me saying, what are your questions? Not I'm just going and telling you how it is. Because she's not. My daughter is innocent. She's so which when you hear these questions, you're not going to believe it. But there's this point on the tape where it shows how innocent she really is. But they're hearing all of this stuff. You know, one of the Internet sites, just to let you know, there's a kid's website that's called the Dollhouse. And then there's. And it's spelled D O L L Z because D O L L H O S E is a porn site. So you got seven and eight year olds going to the doll's house and hello. And that's young. Like that was when they were 8. And I had to explain, yeah, there's naked people on the Internet and if you see that, don't go there. Yeah, yeah, that's another conversation with my son. You know that I have a 16 year old son as well. So that's a whole other different set of conversations than you have with your. And you know, why is that? Because, you know, mothers and daughters have a different relate. Girls are much different about talking about sex. And you know, I leave a lot of the conversation with my son up to my husband and you know, my husband and then the father of my kids. So I have a step, I have a step parent situation in my home. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, the men are empowering my son because it is uncomfortable to talk to your opposite. But then again, you know, you're gonna hear on the tape, my son is able to say the word vagina at the dinner table. You know, so, you know, I mean, if y' all didn't know this, you know, I mean, Melissa and Jen know because that's where we met. But you know, I'm Eve Ensler of the Vaginalogues. Vagina Monologues makeup artist. So, you know, to be able to say the word vagina, I mean, I probably wasn't until I was way. I mean, probably till I saw the Vagina Monologues. Could I actually, like, leave the. Leave the place going. Vagina, vagina, vagina. Okay, I can say it.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

You know, that's one of the points of the Vagina Monologues is for women to not be so, I don't know, protective or afraid to say it.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Afraid. Like it's like this taboo thing. And, you know, and part of it is, is that our genitals are on our inside. We're not empowered to understand our bodies. I started doing some statistics about orgasm, which is the first thing that she talks about on the tape. So when you play it, it's like, it's because I didn't even know girls could have orgasms until I was in college and my like told me about the nuts and bolts. But you forgot one important thing. Shoot.

[Show Host]

There's some married listening. Married women listening right now to find out about.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

It's insane. Like 35% of women can't have an orgasm.

[Show Host]

35%.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Look at the actual. I mean, my husband's like, don't look at all the statistics, blah, blah, blah.

[Show Host]

But the statistics, yeah, your husband was prepared, man. I mean, he sent us like a bio this morning. He said, you're with a book. He is ready.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

He's awesome. 43% of American women are either non orgasmic or will be non orgasmic for a significant period of their lives. Wow.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

43%.

Because I don't think. I think a lot of women don't know how to achieve that for themselves and they don't know how to do that.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

And that's the point. And that was the point of Dr. Lorpa. That's the point of. What I'm saying is that if there's so much mystery around this, if that's how many women don't have an orgasm themselves, how are you going to talk to your kid about it? I mean, you need to know your own body.

[Commercial Announcer]

Well, I think you look at the other side of it. I mean, that's 57% of women are having a great time.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

No, they're not. No, they're not. The 57%. Only 30% of them can even. Can only. What is it? It's. Out of 100, only 17 can orgasm during intercourse. And they think there's something wrong with that, that they can't like, there's not enough information about. Hey, the part that gives you pleasure is not attached to your vagina, people. And that's not even like. That's. If you don't. I didn't know what that was, what a clitoris was like, what was that? Oh, that'. I mean, that was exactly what my daughter said to me when I was like. And when we talked about your vagina and this is your clutter. And what's that for? Oh, it's only attached to every nerve ending on your body.

[Show Host]

You use all those words. Everything with her.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Everything. Listen to the. No, I think it's time for the tape because you're gonna. It's. It's really. And, you know, and I just want to say, you're gonna teach a lot

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

of adult women a lot of things, too.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yes.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

It comes down how I've gone from makeup artist to sex therapist. Here is, you know, it's called Destiny. Yeah. You know. You know, just as a background, everybody, you know. Yes, I am a make, but also I have a sociology degree, and I was fascinated once I took my first women's studies class that I had had sex as much as I had had up to that. Not knowing that, you know, about having an orgasm, that I went on to take every sex class I could possibly take in college. So that I've always been fascinated by the study of sex. Like, I've just always been fascinated by it. So here we go.

[Show Host]

Jeff is going to play the part of the FCC today, so if there's anything that he deems would get us in trouble, he's hitting delay.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay, very good.

[Show Host]

And there are some parts of the audio that we had to beep out. My fear was that if we beeped out too much, it sort of takes away from what I want to learn today. You know, seriously, like, this is my blueprint at this point.

[Commercial Announcer]

So is this different than what the last that I heard?

[Show Host]

No, I think Josh beeped out everything that Rob asked him to beep out.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

And we have the names bleeped out, too, of a couple of the girls.

[Show Host]

Okay.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay.

[Show Host]

All right, so. And once again, if you're listening to this with kids in the car, I would suggest, you know, if you haven't had the talk, the birds and the bees talk, then this is probably not the time.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Maybe.

[Show Host]

Or maybe it is. I don't know.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Allison and her daughter and her daughter came to her with some questions, but just realized that the history with them. They've been talking about this for seven years already.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah, Yeah. A long time. I mean, this is not an. This is not a conversation that happened one time. This is in involvement over with her comfortableness of being able to come to me, which is the whole point is that you want to be the source of information for your kid, period.

[Show Host]

And we're going to run these in clips rather than listen to the whole thing. We'll run it in clips and you can just go ahead and comment as the conversation went on.

[Allison's Daughter]

Okay, well, you said some. Like, you didn't explain to me well what a girl orgasm is. Is it just for, like, pleasure?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yes.

[Allison's Daughter]

That's not fair to the guy.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

No, it's not. Because they only can have one orgasm and we can have like, lots and

[Allison's Daughter]

lots and lots and then keep going and stuff.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Like, they don't wait until they're done usually. Why?

[Allison's Daughter]

Because they're too weak.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Because they're worn out. Because they just like, they just had millions of potential babies. One of most potential babies.

[Allison's Daughter]

He's slick, Mom. Well, he has an orgasm, too.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

This just shows how innocent she is. Now you got it. He's like, oh, naive, you know, like. And she's finally. I mean, I think we can all remember those times when, you know, we're watching a movie and finally the joke that you heard as a kid transforms into the joke as an adult. Like in Click. You know, she's watched that movie a hundred times and never got the part where he comes in 30 seconds and he's supposed to, you know, the rest of the whole movie.

[Commercial Announcer]

Can't use that word.

[Show Host]

Okay, you can say orgasm, but you

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

guys just see that I can say orgasm. Okay, okay.

[Show Host]

We're walking a really, really, really tight line here.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Giving me the rules, you know, to what I can say and not say. That will help. Okay, good.

[Show Host]

So we can't say that.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

But I want to say in that first clip, I mean, just the conversation you had there was educational for so many because that discovery about the number of women's ability and men's. I didn't figure that out until much older.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

There's no way I knew that as a teenager.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

I think it is fascinating. And she's like, wait, mom, that's the, that's the joke in that movie. Like, that's where she's learning this from.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

It's the movies.

[Show Host]

So she won't ask you it immediately during the movie. It'll be like a recall situation a couple of months or, or not even.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

I mean, it'll happen inside of a conversation later like she did there. We're talking about the difference between men and women and men and women's orgasms, which are totally different.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sure. Wait till Hayden goes and watches up as a grownup.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Don't mess with Disney.

[Allison's Daughter]

Stop.

[Show Host]

There's gotta be another movie you can play with. All right, that's a sweet. Here's more with Allison and her 14 year old daughter.

[Allison's Daughter]

It was funny. Like, there's this girl at her school that just kept screaming all the time, orgasm.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

And then she texted saying, I'm orgasming, I'm orgasming. And then the kid says, where?

[Allison's Daughter]

You don't get what she's talking about, do you? He's like, no, no.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Because most boys don't even know that girl.

[Show Host]

Explain that up to that point.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay. So he, she. They're texting, you know, are you orgasming to each other? Yes.

[Show Host]

Just as a joke.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah, as a joke. Are you orgasming? Are you orgasming? Are you orgasming? And then the kid's like, where? And it was like, like, you know, so if you're saying I'm blanking, I'm blanking. Well, where are you blanking?

[Show Host]

Like, are they talking about in a classroom?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah. And they're texting back and forth. And in fact the kids are texting

[Show Host]

that it's just a big old joke.

[Allison's Daughter]

Sexting.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

That's what the doctor calls it. Is the Dr. Berman from who's the Expert on the Oprah show says it's called sexting. I didn't even know that word until before I was like, oh my go. God. It's like sexting.

[Caller or Listener]

Like, wow, wow.

[Show Host]

So here's where I'm confused. Are they having sex talk with each other or they're just joking about it comes.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

That comes on where? Later where they're talking back and forth about. I'm like, well, where do you learn this from? She goes, oh, they learn from each other. We learn from each other. And I'm like, are there any parents? Because, oh, no, none of the kids talk to her kids. I said, are you the expert? And she's like, yeah, well, kind. Everybody's coming to me. I'm like, oh, wow. Oh, like. And I know all these girls. I didn't learn that girls could mean.

[Allison's Daughter]

I'm like, nothing.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

I didn't learn that girls could have orgasms until I was in college.

[Allison's Daughter]

But seriously, like In Friday the 13th, some people like asked, what does she mean? Because when two of them were having sex and stuff and they both were like, I'm like, I'm close to him

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

and stuff like that.

[Allison's Daughter]

She didn't know what that meant.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Right. And I'm like, yeah, well, I didn't know what it meant either.

[Show Host]

So they'll ask each other. They'll see the movie, then they'll come to school and they'll ask each other.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

That was at a sleepover.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Well, that's like. That's like 13. That was in fifth or sixth grade, and we were reading Judy Blume Forever. I don't know.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Absolutely.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

That, you know. And that topic was in the book. And I remember what it was. I don't know what we're talking about.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

My first lover. Did you blank? I looked at him. I was like, I guess so. Actually, I think I say that to her. I was like, I had no idea. I think it's on there. Coming up.

[Show Host]

I'm not sure which one, because I'm sort of moving all around here.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

We'll find it. Or not.

[Show Host]

This is more the conversation about that kids have at school about sex.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Will you talk about it yet? No, I don't think nobody can talk

[Allison's Daughter]

about it usually, like. Only I don't ask them if they talk about that crap with their parents.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Well, does anybody just talk about it? I mean, do you make jokes about it now?

[Allison's Daughter]

Yeah, of course we do.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Does anybody know what they're talking about?

[Allison's Daughter]

Some of them.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

I mean, they make jokes about all of it, but do they know what it means?

[Allison's Daughter]

They don't text me. Yeah, they do. Yeah, of course they do. They probably. They don't learn it from their parents. They learn it from their friends.

[Show Host]

So the message there is loud and clear that parents aren't talking to the kids. They're learning. The kids don't have any idea what they're talking about yet. They're educating each other.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Some of these statistics, you know, are saying that only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are mostly influenced by their mothers.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

4%.

[Show Host]

Read that one more time.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are mostly influenced by their mothers. Wow.

[Show Host]

Then where are they getting the biggest influence from?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

From their friends.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

From their friends?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

4%.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

In the bird show and where are the. Yeah, in the bird show and where. But the question is, is then where are they getting this information? Everybody. The Internet.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

And it sounds like to me from the conversation with your daughter, pop culture.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yep. Movies. Movies.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

TV shows. Like the cw. Who's gonna have the threesome on Gossip Girl? So do they even know what a threesome is?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Oh, yeah, they do.

Oh, yeah.

She knows what that means.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The first time I had sex. First time I had sex, the guy asked me if I was gonna. If I was gonna. I had no idea what he meant.

[Allison's Daughter]

Did he have to tell you?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

No, I just kind of pretended like I knew what he was talking about. Seriously? Never told me. I didn't know until I was in college and then I was in my class and I went, oh, well, you kind of left out the important part that girls don't necessarily have orgasms while they're having intercourse.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Oh,

[Caller or Listener]

wow.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

And if you don't, you had to take a class on that. Yeah, I took a great class.

[Show Host]

If you're just checking us out this

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

morning, class on that. She's like fascinating.

[Show Host]

Allison here recorded one of the conversations that she had with her 14 year old daughter about sex and this is the result of it here. Has she ever come to you with something that is so graphic that you couldn't answer?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Not that I couldn't answer. You know, one of the things that Dr. Berman says is that when they come to you, you have to be as least reactive as possible. That if you hesitate for a moment, they're not gonna come to you again.

[Show Host]

What was the subject matter?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, it was about, I don't know, how do I say, how do I say?

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Just write it down.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

Every time you open your mo, I'm having a panic attack.

[Show Host]

And while she's writing, the SEC's not nearly as liberal as I am while

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

she's writing that I'm doing my best

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

because I remember in that Judy Bloom forever that I was talking about that Millie Pete, who's much older than me, my friend, and I did not know what some of these passages meant in that book. And I remember us reading mom the passages in the book. And I remember being relieved when she didn't react, when she just flat out as matter of factly. Now I would love to go back to her now and talk about the panic she had. But we were in fifth and sixth grade talking about these adult teenagers in this book having sex and everything about it. And I remember these matter of factness that my mother had in explaining or talking or saying it's okay that you read that and feel free to come and ask me any more questions. The sense of relief I will always remember. And I never felt a block in asking my family questions, her or my older sister from then on, which I think was a lot safer for me than it would have been if I had gone to ask myself. 12 year old, you know, I'm only 10. So let me ask a 12 or 13 year old about what this means, and they may have tried to show me what that meant, you know?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So one of the main things that she said is it's. Yeah, you can't say that, you know? Yeah, I can't say that. So oral sex, where the male is the recipient.

[Show Host]

Gotcha.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay.

[Show Host]

And how old was she when she asked you?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Just a couple months ago.

[Show Host]

So that's 14 years old.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And that was. But she was so concerned about what that was like. Okay, what is that? What is that?

[Show Host]

Did she use the initials for it when she came home?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, no, it was a. It was the actual slang word for it. Slang word for it.

[Show Host]

Okay.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

So.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

So she had heard about it from her friends. She immediately comes home to ask her mom about it, which I don't think a lot of girls would do. I don't think I would have at that age.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

And she's so. And she gets so flustered, like, you'll hear. And I'm like, what is that? And then when I tell her, she's like, oh, my God, it's disgusting. I'm never doing that. Oh, my God, how do people do that? And I'm like, well, I guess you'll find out. Know. I mean, apparently it feels really good.

[Show Host]

Here's Jared. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Listener]

Good morning, Barto.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Good morning.

[Show Host]

How are you?

[Caller or Listener]

Wonderful. I had a comment, something I wanted to add. The male orgasm is one in its own. Because a lot of times men think that an orgasm and the act of ejaculating are the one and the same, and actually they're not. A male can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating.

[Show Host]

Isn't that the whole tantra thing, Tantric thing?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

You know, I'd say that as if I'm interested in hearing you're saving tantric sex till 15.

[Show Host]

That's the advanced course.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah, that is the advanced course.

[Commercial Announcer]

I think so. Hey, no tantric sex till you have your driver's permit, young lady.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

I think some of the fears from parents in talking to their kids about it and being open about it is that it gives them permission to go do it.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

So what would you say to a parent who said, well, I don't want to talk about that with my kids because if I tell them what that slang word means, then they're gonna go do it.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Okay. It's the main thing that I'm gonna say over and over is information is not permission. Information is not permission.

[Show Host]

Do you say that to her?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Absolutely. That is. And she knows that. And she. She is so empowered. I. We were actually up last night. I was so. I wish I had the recorder last night, you guys. I gotta have one now. Because, one. She's totally into it. And she's also agreed. She thinks it's so important. You know, we ended up talking till midnight last night about all this because I was very concerned about revealing my identity. I was very concerned about people knowing that what she knows in these conversations, because that could be. I mean, if I. I don't know if I would have been that comfortable going, hey, I know all about oral sex, and I know all about all this stuff in front of other boys. Like, what would they think of me that I knew all that stuff? And she's just like, oh, no, I'm. You know, I'm totally empowered. She's a great. She want her on. She's willing to come and talk about it.

[Show Host]

Is that right?

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Oh, yeah.

[Show Host]

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest Commentator]

And I wonder if more information keeps them from wanting to go find out.

[Allison (Makeup Artist and Sex Therapist)]

Yeah, well, she now isn't afraid. Like, she's not afraid. And, you know, I just want to say. I want to say this one thing, you know, that Eve, a quote that Eve has. And if you don't know this, Eve Ensler has a play, a new play coming out that's called I Am an Emotional. I am an emotional creature, the Secret Life of Girls. And it's actually gonna be a V Day movement for teens. And it talks about a lot of these unspoken things with girls. And I've gotten to read the whole thing. It's just so I cried. I had my own emotional reaction to that because I had a very emotional, you know, teenager. But one of the things that she says is, is that the whole, you know, teaching your kid abstinence, like, oh, don't do it. Oh, don't do it. You know, it says there's no evidence today that abstinence only education delays teen sexual activity. Recent research shows that abstinence only strategies may deter contraceptive use among sexually active teens, increasing their risk of unintended pregnancy and STDs. Six in 10 teens have sex before they leave high school, and 730,000 teenage girls will get pregnant this year.

[Show Host]

Wow. That's astonishing. All right, we'll take some of your calls. People obviously want to talk about how they found out about it. The myth that they thought when they were younger and once they got an education, realized, okay, everything I knew when I was younger was wrong. You're on the vert show vrbo.

[Advertisement Voice]

Makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals from homes with pools to poolside loungers. When you book a vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers. They're all yours. All you have to do is book early book with vrbo.

So you're running out of closet space. The good news? You don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the RealReal. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in, the RealReal handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Celine, Louis Vuitton and Louisville offer up to 90% off retail, you're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, this may only you can get an extra $200 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you go to therealreal.com to start selling and get your extra $200 to keep [e-mail] that's therealrail.com terms apply.

VRBO makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals from homes with pools to poolside loungers. When you book a vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers. They're all yours. All you have to do is book early book with vrbo.