Vault: Is he gonna date a Bert Show listener?

Summary

The Bert Show Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: Is he gonna date a Bert Show listener?
Date: August 3, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Melissa, Brandon (Intern)
Guest/Listener: Andrea

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Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the ongoing saga of intern Brandon's love life, specifically exploring whether he'll go on a date with a Bert Show listener, Andrea. The cast dives into topics of young dating dynamics, making plans, and the differences in how men and women approach relationships. With Brandon at the center, the segment blends humor, honest advice, and authentic conversation about modern dating struggles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandon’s Summer Camp Crush – The Update

• The show follows up on Brandon’s story about reaching out to a girl he knew from summer camp when they were kids.
• The woman has since become engaged.
• Memorable moment:

  Brandon (Intern): "Congratulations to her. She's engaged. But you know, I'm glad for her." (01:29)
  Co-host 2: "He's like, it's a bummer she's engaged to the wrong guy. But I'm cool." (01:40)

2. A Listener Steps Up: Andrea Writes In

• A Bert Show listener, Andrea, emails after hearing Brandon's story, expressing interest in him.
• Andrea shares that she's drawn to Brandon’s personality and can relate to aspects of his life, particularly about being a person of color in mostly white social circles.
• Notable quote from Andrea’s email (read on air):

  "I find myself attracted to him just by your voice. His playful personality and his ability to take a joke about his Persona made me giggle… I can also relate to him." (02:36)

3. Making Contact – The Lead-Up to a Date

• Brandon confirms that he and Andrea have talked on the phone and via text but have struggled to make their schedules align.
• Both are busy with school and coaching commitments.
• Brandon (Intern): "Have had some prolonged text message conversations, but not like phone conversations. Our schedules really don't allow." (03:58)
• Neither wants to rush into anything; tentative plans are made for the following week.

4. First Date Ideas: The Panel Weighs In

• The group discusses what makes a good first date, with Brandon leaning towards activities like go karting for something creative and fun rather than dinner or the movies.
• Brandon (Intern): "Go karting. It's fun. It allows people to let loose and, you know, you just get to have fun." (05:08)
• Co-hosts debate the pros and cons of venues like Six Flags, Braves games, and unique restaurants. Most agree creativity and the chance for conversation are key.
• Melissa: "I would give credit for creativity. Even if it's something I wasn't particularly into, at least I'd be like, okay, well, that's, you know, that's cool." (05:25)

5. Young Men and Modern Dating Habits

• The co-hosts critique Brandon’s somewhat indecisive approach to scheduling the date, pointing out a pattern in younger men’s dating behaviors—vagueness, reliance on texting rather than calling, and reluctance to take the initiative.
• Co-host 1: "Man up." (09:04)
• Melissa: "Let me say…if you put the effort forth, obviously you don't have a lot of competition when it comes to having a plan, because it sounds like you don't have a plan." (08:49)
• Brandon pushes back, expressing that both he and Andrea have hectic lives and it's genuinely a scheduling issue, not lack of interest.

6. The Challenge: Stepping Up and Making the Ask

• The co-hosts encourage Brandon to be more decisive, suggesting he directly ask Andrea out for a specific event or time, rather than keeping plans vague.
• Co-host 1: "Have you asked her for a specific night and a specific time?" (09:22)
• Brandon (Intern): "She says during the week is a little bit too hectic." (09:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You know, during the day when she's not happy, she’ll know why she missed a chance."
  — Brandon (Intern), displaying playful confidence after learning his camp crush is engaged (01:42)
• "He said the sentence that he would rather watch a baseball game, any baseball game, than have sex with a girl."
  — Co-host 2, referencing Brandon's sports obsession (01:49)
• "I have major swag through text messaging. That's not my problem."
  — Brandon (Intern), addressing the texting vs. calling debate (08:41)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [00:30–01:42]: Brandon’s summer camp crush update—awkwardness, disappointment, and jokes
• [02:24–03:32]: Introduction of Andrea’s email and her interest in Brandon
• [03:46–04:29]: Details on phone/text interactions and difficulties aligning schedules
• [04:36–05:36]: Brainstorming first date ideas, focusing on fun and creativity
• [06:00–07:41]: Is there an age limit for certain first date activities? The panel’s nostalgia factor
• [08:11–09:41]: Pressure on Brandon to make a plan; debates on modern dating etiquette
• [09:53–10:45]: Discussion on young men lacking formal dating training; proposal for a challenge involving date planning
• [10:45–11:24]: Brandon’s confidence in relationships, but struggle with initiating plans

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Tone and Style

The conversation throughout is playful, teasing, and blended with practical advice from a group that genuinely cares for Brandon. There’s frequent humor, gentle ribbing, and a balance between old-school and contemporary approaches to dating.

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Summary

This light, engaging episode gives listeners a window into the real-life dating challenges of a 20-something intern, offering relatable content and plenty of laughs. Brandon’s sports devotion, texting bravado, and the cast’s calls for him to "man up" create a genuine, entertaining discussion about young love, modern courtship rituals, and the sometimes-awkward journey toward a first date.

Transcript

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Co-host 1]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50gb. Me slow when network is busy. See Terms.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Hey, the bird show.

[Co-host 2]

So our intern Brandon has been on the air with us over the past couple days. Past couple weeks, talking about his love life, either voluntarily or because.

[Co-host 1]

Because we forced him to.

[Co-host 2]

Because we forced him to. And the last time we had him on, he was talking about a girl that he knew when he was. The girl was 11. So I'm guessing you were 11 or 12. Same age and Brennan's mic. And so we were trying to track that girl down because he knew her at summer camp here in Atlanta. We found her pretty quickly and unfortunately she is engaged to be married.

[Co-host 1]

And she thought it was weird that he was looking for her on the radar.

[Co-host 2]

Thought it was a little bit creeper. But you know what? She doesn't believe in love just cause she's engaged.

[Melissa]

See, that should be flattering, I think, you know, if somebody remembers you from 11. Wow.

[Co-host 2]

Been called worse.

[Melissa]

So it's okay by some of us in the room.

[Co-host 1]

No, I'm just kidding. Were you disappointed by that or were you like, ah, now I at least know the answer.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Congratulations to her. She's engaged. But you know, I'm glad for her.

[Melissa]

Brandon's on air, trying to be cool. Yeah, you know, I'm glad for her.

[Co-host 1]

I mean, did she cry? Did you go home and cry?

[Brandon (Intern)]

A little bit. You know, I got a little choked up.

[Co-host 2]

He's like, it's a bummer she's engaged to the wrong guy. But I'm cool.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, you know, you know, during the day when she's not happy, he. She'll know why she missed a chance.

[Co-host 2]

So we talked about that with Brandon and we got an email from a bird show listener who had heard Brandon on the air and heard some of the stuff we were talking about teasing him about his love life. And we make fun of Brandon because he's got a love of sports so significant that it Even overtakes borders on obsession. Yeah. And he said the sentence that he would rather watch a baseball game, any baseball game, than have sex with a girl.

[Co-host 3]

Not like the World Series, not the super bowl or anything like that.

[Melissa]

He might miss a great play in the baseball game where he's not gonna miss a great play with a girl.

[Co-host 2]

And so we talked about that on the air. We talked about the love lost and found that didn't work out. And one Bird show listener heard that and said, this is my man. That is the man for me.

[Co-host 1]

This is my man.

[Co-host 2]

Her name was Andrea. And she wrote, my name is Andrea. I'm a sophomore at Georgia Highlands College. I was listening to the show and. And I heard intern Brandon. I had never heard his voice before, but I can say that I find myself attracted to him just by your voice. His playful personality and his ability to take a joke about his Persona made me giggle. Not that I'm asking for anything jiggle like Bert said. I'm not asking for any sort of date or anything. Cause I've got work or school or whatever. But I just wanted to know if there's a way I can have a simple conversation with him. I can also relate to him. And we're gonna talk about this later on the show because she is black and most of her friends are white. So is Brandon. So we're gonna talk about that later on in the show. But she feels like there's some connections with Brandon and with her. And so she pretty much said, brandon, my heart is yours.

[Co-host 1]

She pretty much asked you out?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, basically.

[Melissa]

I guess that house gonna have to work. Sorry.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Well, thanks, Melissa.

[Co-host 2]

So when are you going out this weekend?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Oh, we're not.

[Co-host 3]

Why?

[Melissa]

Why?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Both of our schedules couldn't line up.

[Co-host 1]

Did you call her?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, I called her. What night? Wednesday night. Had a conversation.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Co-host 1]

Wednesday morning when we talked to her.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah. So good. Talked to that day.

[Co-host 2]

All right, that's good.

[Co-host 1]

That's good.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Have had some prolonged text message conversations, but not like phone conversations our schedules really don't allow. Between her and school and me and

[Co-host 3]

coaching to talk on the phone.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Basically the past couple of days have been really busy for mainly me and her.

[Co-host 3]

So make a five minute conversation, phone call.

[Brandon (Intern)]

I mean, she basically told me she prefers texting too.

[Co-host 1]

So she is shy too.

[Co-host 2]

Oh my God, you guys are soulmates.

[Brandon (Intern)]

So we've had conversations.

[Melissa]

So when are you going?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Thursday. We made plans for next week sometime.

[Melissa]

Next week.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Okay, we'll figure it out with both our schedules.

[Melissa]

Very cool.

[Co-host 1]

Are you going to take her To a Braves game.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Oh, plans are up in the air. We'll figure it out. She's open to going to a Braves game.

[Co-host 1]

So what's your idea of a great first date plan?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Great first date. It would not be anything like a movie or concert because you're too focused on something else. I'd have to be something fun where people can let go, like, I don't know, like, just someplace where you can go hang out. Like, for me, I guess if I had to plan the date, it would probably.

[Co-host 1]

You are the boy.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

And you should plan the first date.

[Co-host 2]

If.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, if both parties were down for it, I'd probably say something like, go karting. It's fun. It allows people to let loose and, you know, you just get to have fun. It's a cool thing to do.

[Co-host 2]

Is that a cool first day for girls?

[Co-host 3]

If you follow it up with dinner? Or it could be.

[Melissa]

I would give credit for creativity. I mean, even if it's an event. I mean, even if it's something that I wasn't particularly into, at least I'd be like, okay, well, that's, you know, that's cool. It's creative, it's unique.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. It's cute, and it's like wholesome fun. So I think it's a good idea. You know what I mean? Like, he's not trying to, like, give you tequila shots. What?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Mom.

[Co-host 1]

But you know what I mean, that means his intention is really to get to know the girl and hang out with her and have some fun or whatever. They're not just like, you know, he's not going to say, you know, get drunk.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Co-host 3]

But you don't have to talk too much. So you're. Because you're in Go Kart.

[Co-host 1]

So what?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. Aren't there age limits, though, to certain dates or.

[Melissa]

No, not. You talking about, like, go karting and stuff like that.

[Co-host 2]

And putt, putt golfing and, like, is there a nostalgia factor?

[Brandon (Intern)]

You're never too old to go putt putting first off, that's.

[Co-host 2]

Well, it's a sport.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

That's perfect for Brandon.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Anything that results in a competition.

[Co-host 1]

I'm kind of with Melissa. I think you would get points on creativity of doing something different, not just being like. Like the standard dinner, you know, because

[Melissa]

I was bored with dinner. The dinner. I'm not. I do. I was not the girl that was particularly impressed if you took me to the fancy restaurant or whatever. That just wasn't my thing.

[Co-host 1]

I like a restaurant date if it's a unique, interesting restaurant. I've Never heard of before. You know, like, I don't know if it's just something like a hole in the wall type, kind of like a, you know, something only the guy knows about and there's some sort of story to it.

[Co-host 2]

See, this is. This would be an example of a date, I think, that would have an expiration date. Hey, Tiffany.

[Tiffany]

Hi. I was gonna say, okay, if you're go karting, you really can't talk to each other, but he sounds like he really wants to have fun, so what about Six Flags? You have to talk to each other while you're waiting in line.

[Co-host 1]

Would that work for you?

[Co-host 2]

Or you could text. I mean, whatever your call is, you can text.

[Brandon (Intern)]

You know, that works, too.

[Tiffany]

Yeah. She could be waiting at Goliath, and he could be at Scream Machine. You can text back and forth. I mean.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, that works too.

[Tiffany]

Yeah.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Anything that allows people to let loose and have fun. That's what I'm really big on, is just really letting yourself go in the moment. So something like dinner, you can't really. You get caught up in Six Flags to me.

[Co-host 1]

Sounds like a second or third date, though.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

That is not a first. Six Flags. It's weird.

[Co-host 1]

That's a coding.

[Melissa]

I would do a first day. Six Flags, I wouldn't do for a first day.

[Co-host 2]

What difference does it make?

[Co-host 1]

It's a time commitment. You're there for a while, you're paying the entrance fee.

[Melissa]

That's the entire day.

[Co-host 1]

That's the whole day. Like, mm, mm, go karting. That could be another two, and then

[Co-host 2]

you're out the go karting. You could just turn the wheel hard, right? Run the tires and take off.

[Co-host 1]

You're out of there.

[Co-host 2]

You're driving down 400 down Roswell Road in the little Andretti Square.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Yeah, go kart.

[Co-host 1]

That would be fantastic.

[Co-host 2]

And what happened to the Braves game? Not they're not in town or, oh,

[Brandon (Intern)]

they're here at the beginning of next week. Then I think they go on a road trip.

[Co-host 1]

So why don't you take her to a Braves game?

[Brandon (Intern)]

I mean, if our schedules work out for the early next week while they're still in town, then I am mad

[Co-host 1]

at you for being so wishy washy on this date. And I don't know.

[Brandon (Intern)]

I'm not wishy washy on the day. It's just scheduling, you know, it's.

[Co-host 1]

Why don't you figure out the game and say, hey, I can get tickets to this day, this game, this time. Can you go?

[Melissa]

Doesn't this go into our conversation yesterday about you Know boys, just, just not the whole texting. And as the group dates and all.

[Brandon (Intern)]

I mean, I have major swag through text messaging. That's not my problem.

[Co-host 2]

I am so cocky. 160 characters at a time.

[Melissa]

But it's one thing again. And let me say, and I mean, I said it yesterday, I'll say it again. Guys, if you put the effort forth, obviously you don't have a lot of competition when it comes to having a plan, because it doesn't. It sounds like you don't have a plan.

[Co-host 1]

Man up.

[Brandon (Intern)]

I do have a plan. It's just.

[Melissa]

What's the plan?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Too many question marks at this point. Too far ahead, looking past the weekend.

[Co-host 1]

Excuses, excuses.

[Brandon (Intern)]

No, just because I don't know her schedule yet.

[Co-host 1]

Be a man or do you want to be a boy?

[Brandon (Intern)]

She's not sure of her schedule yet, so that's where.

[Co-host 1]

Have you asked her for a specific night and a specific time?

[Brandon (Intern)]

She says during the week is a little bit too hectic.

[Co-host 1]

So the answer to my question is no. You haven't said. What's her name again?

[Co-host 2]

Andrea.

[Co-host 1]

Andrea, would you like to go to the Braves with me?

[Co-host 2]

Hold on a minute.

[Brandon (Intern)]

She said wait until next weekend.

[Co-host 3]

That's.

[Co-host 1]

I'm the one on the show. Why don't you listen to me first?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Oh, boy.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Oh, damn.

[Co-host 2]

Okay, here we go.

[Co-host 1]

Let me finish. You haven't asked her on a date. It's this wishy washy. Maybe we'll do this, maybe we'll do that thing.

[Brandon (Intern)]

The phone conversation was.

[Co-host 1]

Finished my sentence. Then you can answer.

[Brandon (Intern)]

The phone conversation was, is, do you want to go out? She said yes. It's just that during the week she's very busy. I'm very busy during the week. I come here in the morning, I coach basketball, I work my job. So during the week it's busy for both of us. So she said if something clears up during the week for both of us, then she'd be sure to let me know and we can do something during the week. Then odds are we're probably looking at next weekend. And for that, that's eight days away from that even happening. So let's not, let's talk. Let's figure each other out to see if this is even a possibility.

[Melissa]

It's almost. You know what we need a challenge to where. Because the first thought I had is somebody on the show but Burton and Jeff can't do it. I'm trying to think of letting an older guy take a girl out and then Brandon or somebody take a younger guy. Take the girl out and see the comparison, you know what I'm saying? Like the direct comparison.

[Co-host 1]

I think young guys can still be gentlemen though. Like I think it just depends on whether the guy wants to like actually ask a girl out on a formal date and is willing to sort of put himself out there to be rejected or not. And I think that's. That was what it kind of comes back to is like. But we've talked about the past couple

[Melissa]

days that young guys don't seem to have the training to do that.

[Brandon (Intern)]

Maybe not my problem isn't like what to do once you get there, it's how to get there. I know I'm confident of what to do in a relationship. It's just getting to that point.

[Co-host 2]

So you're in again on Monday?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

So if we talk to you on Monday, will you have a date set?

[Brandon (Intern)]

Maybe.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know.

[Brandon (Intern)]

I don't know the length of the conversation. This weekend the Bird show.