The Bert Show – "Vault: Is It a Red Flag If a Woman Says This?"

Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Melissa, Jen, Drew Ski, Santa, Kerri, Zoey, Laura)
Date: December 22, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores a divisive question in contemporary friendships: Is it a red flag if a woman says she only has male friends and avoids friendships with other women? The Bert Show cast—along with callers—debates the underlying dynamics, personal reasons, gender differences, social perceptions, and the potential loss of meaningful relationships that arise from this stance. The tone is candid, humorous, and sometimes self-reflective, with lively debate and real-life perspectives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening the Conversation (01:18)

• Catalyst: The topic stems from a previous show where a caller asserted she doesn’t have female friends and chooses not to work with women.

  • Bert: “It’s something that you would never ever hear a guy say...” (02:01)

• Initial Reactions:

  • Most women who called previously agreed media (like "Apprentice") portrayed female workplace dynamic accurately.
  • Some hosts/viewers see a woman shunning female companionship as a “red flag.”

2. Why Some Women Avoid Female Friendships (02:27 – 04:29)

• Kerri (Caller):

  • Doesn’t dislike women but finds "weak women" frustrating.
  • Chooses associates over true friends, citing past betrayals (e.g., friends who "mess with married guys").
  • “I have a lot of associates. I deal with women, but it’s … from a distance…” (03:05)

• Melissa:

  • Wonders if distancing is about avoiding competition with other women, or not wanting to confront personal competitiveness.
  • “They have to eliminate women altogether because then that means they don’t bring out their own competitiveness.” (03:40)

3. The "Red Flag" Debate (04:29 – 05:31)

• Melissa & Jen:

  • Argue that refusing friendships with women over a few bad experiences generalizes and dismisses opportunities for positive relationships.
  • Melissa: “I would never be able to be happy in my life without girlfriends.” (04:30)
  • Jen: “I think it’s also kind of arrogant… she’s presenting herself as she's above all other women.” (05:04)
  • Bert: “Isn’t that a catty move in itself?” (05:19)
  • Jen: “Saying you won’t hang out with other women because they’re too catty is kind of a catty thing to do.” (05:20)

• Meta-Reflection:

  • Criticizes the contradiction of labeling other women as catty—while also engaging in “catty” behavior by excluding them.

4. Personality, Honesty, and Social Circles (05:52 – 07:20)

• Kerri (Another Caller):

  • Attributes her male-dominated friend group to a "strong personality" and shared interests (e.g., tech).
  • Finds women "don’t survive" directness, or aren't interested in the group's topics.

• Jen:

  • Points out these are two separate issues—personality clashes and interest gaps.
  • “You just said two different things…” (07:00)

• Melissa (jokingly):

  • “How many of their boyfriends you slept with? No, I’m just kidding.” (07:20)
  • (Self-awareness/joke highlights the topic’s sensitive nature.)

5. The Case for Female Friendship (07:56 – 09:11)

• Laura (Caller):

  • Counters prior arguments, sharing a positive view of female camaraderie.
  • Her circle of women has supported each other for years during big life events and illnesses.
  • “I think women are wonderful… we come over… cook casseroles… clean their house.” (08:05)

• Bert:

  • Observes competitiveness even in long-standing female groups.
  • Suggests female competition is more about lifestyle (e.g., houses), while male competition is about possessions (e.g., cars).
  • “If a friend comes over… with a brand new car, I really don’t have the need to go out and get a nicer car than he does…” (08:53)

• Jen:

  • Highlights generalizing is problematic—competitiveness isn’t uniquely female or male.
  • “You just brought up you as a personal example, then you’re clumping women all together…” (09:20)

6. Individual vs. Group Dynamics (09:38 – 10:18)

• Melissa:
  • Suggests group compatibility isn’t about gender but personality.
  • Some people thrive in groups; others only in one-on-one connections.
  • “Certain individuals, whether they’re male or female, can only handle friendships one on one.” (09:43)
  • Others adapt fluidly to group settings.

Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |---|---------|-------| | 02:01 | Bert | “It’s something that you would never ever hear a guy say, right?” | | 03:05 | Drew Ski/Kerri | “I have a lot of associates. I deal with women, but it’s… from a distance… I can't flock with you like that.” | | 04:30 | Melissa | “I would never be able to be happy in my life without girlfriends.” | | 05:04 | Jen | “It’s also kind of arrogant… she’s presenting herself as she's above all other women.” | | 05:20 | Bert | “Isn’t that a catty move in itself?” | | 07:00 | Jen | “You just said two different things… where one, you feel like you’re too honest and the women don’t survive and now you’re saying… it’s because they’re bored by your conversation.” | | 08:05 | Laura | “I just want to say, women are wonderful. I have, you know, a group of girlfriends… we come over… cook casseroles… clean their house.” | | 09:20 | Jen | “You just brought up you as a personal example, and then you’re clumping women all together… I certainly don’t represent all women.” | | 09:43 | Melissa | “Certain individuals... can only handle friendships one on one... when you put them in a group—they don’t function well.” |

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Workplace Dynamics & Media Portrayals: 01:18 – 02:27
• Callers Explain Avoiding Female Friendships: 02:27 – 04:29
• Red Flag Debate & Generalizations: 04:29 – 05:31
• Personality, Interests, and Honesty in Friendships: 05:52 – 07:20
• Positive Experiences of Female Friendship: 07:56 – 09:20
• Personality vs. Group Dynamics: 09:38 – 10:18

Summary & Takeaways

• The cast and callers passionately debate whether shunning women as friends is a genuine reflection of personality, interests, or a problematic generalization rooted in bad experiences.
• The show underscores that while some women cite negative encounters or interests as reasons to avoid female friendships, others see this as a red flag or a loss of deep, supportive camaraderie.
• Throughout, hosts challenge each other's beliefs and highlight the diversity of personality and compatibility—regardless of gender.
• The consensus: meaningful friendships are about individual compatibility, not stereotypes, and long-term bonds—regardless of gender—can be both challenging and rewarding.