The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Is It Normal To Date Without Being Intimate?

Date: February 6, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more

Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show team takes on a relatable dating topic: Is it normal (or healthy) to date someone for a while without becoming intimate? Sparked by a listener's experience of cuddling but not advancing to greater intimacy, the crew and callers humorously and honestly unravel the pressure, expectations, confusion, and occasional surprises that come with slow-burn romance or courtship without physical progression.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Spark: Wendy’s Story

[00:01–00:53]

• Wendy shares her recent dating experience: she met a guy, they hung out, went back to his place, watched movies, and cuddled in bed — but nothing else happened.
• The cast marvels at the idea of a man genuinely wanting just to cuddle, especially after Wendy arrived tipsy and he helped sober her up.
  • Quote: “So not only this, he got you sober in order to take advantage of your cuddle with you. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna get drunk Wendy back to my house, I'm gonna sober her up, and then we are gonna hug.” (A, 00:37)
  • Laughter follows about the "innocence" of a cuddle-focused night.

2. Friend Zone or Something More?

[00:58–01:08]

• The hosts contemplate: with so much nonsexual contact, does a relationship risk sliding into the friend zone?
• Jessica, another caller, faces a similar scenario.

3. Jessica’s Painting (& Revealing) Story

[01:08–02:25]

• Jessica describes dating a guy who is physically attractive, flirty, and yet—after days of painting together, cuddling, and a few weeks of hanging out—makes no serious romantic or sexual advances.
• Eventually, she learns he’s gay. The conversation turns comedic as the hosts list “signs” (interest in shopping, doing her hair, good dancer, former flight attendant).
  • Quote: “A guy invites you over to his house to do some interior decorating. Then you guys get in bed together and nothing happens for three weeks.” (A, 02:06)
  • Quote (sarcastically): “You're shocked to find out that he's gay.” (A, 02:19)

4. Long-Term Non-Intimacy in Dating

[02:38–03:54]

• Katherine calls in to share a different, genuine experience: she dated someone officially for three months — including overnight visits — with no sexual intimacy, not even kissing.
  • Quote: “I actually dated a guy a couple years ago ... we went three months without doing anything. Yeah, it was not even kissing.” (E, 02:42)
• Distance and living situations partly played a role, but ultimately she found such restraint refreshing and says it led to a more passionate relationship once intimacy began.
  • Quote: “It's almost ... really refreshing and it's comforting... I just had so much respect for him for not trying to get in my pants, like, the first night we were together.” (E, 03:38)
  • The cast expresses disbelief: “I think three months, though.” (B, 03:54)

5. Studio Reaction: Is Waiting Too Long Unusual?

[04:07–04:39]

• The female hosts respond with incredulity at Katherine's story, expressing that waiting three months is “too long.”
  • Quote: “I just think that's too long. I think it's way too long.” (D, 04:10)
• They acknowledge, however, that taking things slowly, especially on the first night, can be effective and reduce nervousness for women—potentially deepening interest and desire.
  • Quote: “I do think, though, that guys don't understand how effective the first night not trying anything can be... making her want more, making her that wants to initiate, I think it takes her nervousness out of it.” (D, 04:15)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Platonic Cuddling:
  • “I'm gonna get drunk Wendy back to my house, I'm gonna sober her up, and then we are gonna hug … This is gonna be the best hug that you have ever had.” (A & C, 00:37–00:56)
• On Realizing the Obvious:
  • “A guy invites you over to his house to do some interior decorating. Then you guys get in bed together and nothing happens for three weeks.” (A, 02:06)
  • “You're shocked to find out that he's gay.” (A, 02:19)
• On Respect and Desire:
  • “I just had so much respect for him for not trying to get in my pants, like, the first night we were together.” (E, 03:38)
  • “I do think ... guys don't understand how effective the first night not trying anything can be.” (D, 04:15)

Highlighted Timestamps

• 00:01–00:53 — Wendy’s initial cuddle story
• 01:08–02:25 — Jessica’s calls with the ‘painting and cuddling’ experience
• 02:38–03:54 — Katherine details her three-month platonic dating phase
• 04:07–04:39 — In-studio opinions and candid reactions to waiting

Tone & Takeaways

The episode mixes genuine curiosity, playful ribbing, a bit of skepticism, and a few “aha!” moments. While the cast jokes about platonic cuddles and navigates stereotypes, they also explore comfort, respect, and differing expectations around dating intimacy. For listeners, it’s a humorous yet thoughtful look at whether “slow” means “friend-zoned,” signals something deeper, or, sometimes—something unexpected.

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For anyone questioning the ‘right’ pace in dating, this episode offers laughs, anecdotes, and food for thought about what’s “normal,” what’s healthy, and what makes romance worth the wait.