The Bert Show Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: Is It Normal To Do This While Watching TV?
Release Date: January 29, 2026
Main Theme:
The hosts of The Bert Show explore quirks and odd habits people have in their private lives and ask, “Am I Normal?” through hilarious, relatable, and sometimes bizarre listener calls and team confessions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Am I Normal?” Concept

• The show centers around people calling in to share secret habits or thoughts they’re unsure are normal, offering comfort in shared weirdness.
• Host A sets the tone:

  “There’s a lot of comfort in numbers, especially if you think you might do something that’s a little on the freaky side and you’re not sure anybody else does the same thing.” (00:00)

2. Fantasies of Fame and Fortune

• Listeners and hosts reveal they’ve imagined accepting major awards or winning the lottery:
  • Practicing Oscar acceptance speeches in the mirror – a surprisingly common daydream.
  • Host C:

    “A lot of times... if I go up a big staircase, I just imagine that I’m walking up to accept an award.” (00:49)

  • Pretending to win the Powerball or Mega Millions and planning a reaction.

3. Daily Life as Cinematic Experience

• Hosts admit to making ordinary activities more exciting by imagining themselves as movie characters or in dramatic situations.
  • Imaginary announcer voices at traffic lights, pretending to drag race the car beside.
  • Host A:

    “When I’m first in line at the intersection... I always have an announcer’s voice in my head, like I’m in some kind of drag race.” (02:26)

  • Visualizing workout montages, channeling the “before-and-after” transformation scenes prevalent in films.
  • Fantasizing about being in a chase with the police.

4. Method Acting and TV Drama Reenactments

• Listener E calls in, sharing that she acts out emotional scenes from TV dramas in the mirror, even making herself cry.

  • E:

    “I always act it out... I’ll go into the mirror and I’ll just start, you know, tearing up and just... act out the part with as much emotion as I possibly can.” (02:54)

• Hosts discuss attempts to cry on command after being impressed by child actors’ abilities.

  • Host B:

    “I sat there... trying to do it. I ended up just, you know, wiping soap in my eye.” (03:47)

5. Crime, Mystery, and Morbid Planning

• Listener Tony details in-depth hypothetical conversations with his wife about how to dispose of a body after watching too many crime dramas.
  • Tony:

    “We have two things we discuss on a regular basis. One is how to dispose of a body... great detail of how we do it and never get caught.” (04:06)

• The topic snowballs with hosts and listeners confessing to pondering body-hiding logistics when encountering isolated areas, referencing mafia movies, and seeing large car trunks.

6. Childhood Quirks & Secret Practices

• Teresa admits to making hideous faces and the most obnoxious noises in the mirror when home alone.
  • Teresa:

    “I look in the mirror and I make the ugliest face possible...the loudest, most annoying noises that I can possibly make.” (05:34)

• Discussion prompts the group to reminisce about first “kissing practice,” ranging from the mirror to Coke bottles to hands for practice.

7. Pop Culture Fantasies

• Mo reveals she and her sister still wait each September for their Hogwarts letters, long past "expiration age."
  • Mo:

    “My sister and I...we still wait for our Hogwarts letter. Even though we are way past our expiration date.” (07:44)

8. Elaborate Hypotheticals: Robbing Banks

• Listener calls in on a voice disguise to describe planning a “perfect” bank robbery after mocking criminals on TV.
  • G:

    “We’ve planned out precisely how to rob a bank...if you really want to rob a bank, this is the way to do it.” (08:23)

9. Everyday Escapism

• Many listeners confess to pretending to audition for American Idol or singing in the car as if on stage.
  • Sharon:

    “Whenever I’m in my car and singing, I pretend like I’m auditioning for American Idol and the judges want me to sing the whole song because I’m that good.” (09:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host C, Oscar Stairs Moment:

  “The last one or two is like, yeah, here I am.” (01:12)

• On acting out TV dramas:

  “I’ll go into the mirror and I’ll just start... tearing up and just... act out the part with as much emotion as I possibly can.” – Listener E (02:54)

• On contemplating crimes:

  “This is dead serious. We discuss how we could get away with killing that person and disposing of the body, grinding the teeth down, disposing of the murder weapon...get rid of the blood traces.” – Tony (04:06)

• Quirks in solitude:

  “I make the ugliest face possible, and I try to make...the loudest, most annoying noises that I can possibly make. But I’m always there by myself when I do it.” – Teresa (05:34)

• On waiting for Hogwarts:

  “We still wait for our Hogwarts letter. Even though we are way past our expiration date.” – Mo (07:44)

Highlight Timestamps

• [00:00–02:00] — Introduction to “Am I Normal?” + first confessions about Oscar speeches
• [02:26] — Hosts share everyday activities turned into dramatic moments
• [02:54] — Listener E acts out TV scenes in her mirror
• [04:06] — Tony and wife’s detailed conversations about disposal of a theoretical body
• [05:34] — Teresa’s solo ugly faces and noises routine
• [06:12] — First “kissing practice” confessions
• [07:44] — Mo waiting for her Hogwarts letter
• [08:23] — Planning a “perfect bank robbery” (with voice changer)
• [09:22] — Sharon auditioning for American Idol, alone in the car

Overall Tone

The episode is irreverent, playful, and comforting in its honesty about everyday oddities. The hosts create a safe space for confessions—sometimes outrageous, often hilarious, and always relatable—reminding listeners that everyone has a bit of “freak” in them.

Perfect For:
Anyone looking for a laugh, a sense of camaraderie in their quirks, or validation that even the oddest daydreams are completely normal to someone out there.