Vault: Is it weird to ask someone to prom via text?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode Title: Vault: Is it weird to ask someone to prom via text?
Release Date: August 3, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show Cast
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Episode Overview

In this lively roundtable discussion, the Bert Show cast delves into the increasingly common trend of asking someone to prom via text message. Drawing on recent statistics and generational perspectives, the hosts debate whether texting a prom invitation is practical, acceptable, or just another sign of eroding romance and effort among teenagers. Listeners and callers weigh in, highlighting both the ease and the lost opportunity for teaching vital life skills, with the team navigating hilarity, authenticity, and candid opinions on modern romance rituals.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Rise of Texting Prom Invites

• Segment: [00:00–03:16]

  • Recent stats: 40% of teens would consider asking a date to prom via text; 64% would accept a text invitation.
  • Major tip lists even circulate on “how to ask someone to prom via text,” suggesting things like personalizing the message and getting a friend to help with wording.

• Quote (Bert):

  “Remember, this is the prom we're talking about here. This is like one of the biggest nights of your life up until this point!” (01:19)

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Is Texting “Good Enough”? Generational Divide

• Segment: [03:16–05:13]

  • Older hosts express disbelief about texting’s dominance.
  • The younger panelist explains that for teens, texting is the default and carries no shame or lesser value.

• Quote (Jen):

  “This texting mode of communication doesn't have a diminished value like we put a diminished value on it, even though I still believe that it's not the right way to go…” (03:16)

• Counterpoint (Kristin):

  “But here's where I disagree: you're starting to set the bar so low for dudes that when they get older you won’t be able to reverse this.” (04:05)

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The Slippery Slope: Will Proposals Happen by Text Next?

• Segment: [04:13–05:13]

  • Concern that expectations set as teens will carry into adulthood, potentially leading to proposals or other important life moments handled impersonally.

• Quote (Cassie):

  “You cannot complain as an adult woman about how guys aren't romantic enough ... Your wedding proposal is going to end up being an untext message.” (04:18)

• Playful Moment:

  • “Melissa Carter, will you marry Eftdala?” (lighthearted example of a text proposal) (04:36)

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Is Texting Just the “Easier” Way Out? (Social Skills & Facing Rejection)

• Segment: [05:13–09:32]

  • Arguments that texting shields teens from necessary real-life skills like confidence and coping with rejection.
  • A caller (“Eastaco”) defends texting as an inclusive option for shy or “nerdy” kids who might otherwise never have the courage to ask.
  • The hosts counter that sooner or later, everyone needs to face uncomfortable situations and learn resilience.

• Quote (Eastaco - caller):

  “It gives kids… a chance ... lets them get a chance at some of the bigger goals... by the end of their high school career.” (06:14)

• Quote (Bert):

  “...at some point those ... nerds ... are gonna have to learn to take rejection face to face.” (06:50)

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Girls’ Perspective: Accepting Texts or Raising the Bar?

• Segment: [07:47–09:32]

  • Julie (high school caller) shares that most girls in her school expect prom invites via text—otherwise, they may not get invited at all.
  • She admits to declining text invites, holding out for a more romantic gesture—even if it means missing prom.

• Quote (Julie - caller):

  “If you don't accept a text message... you're not going to go to prom.” (07:52)
  “I'm sadly one of those romantic girls that would like to have a pizza written with prom and a question mark delivered to my door in pepperonis rather than a text message.” (09:09)

• Hosts react:

  “That's not sad.” (Cassie, 09:10)

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Responsibility and Gender Roles: Who Should Raise the Bar?

• Segment: [09:32–10:14]

  • Discussion turns to whether the burden to improve romance falls unfairly on girls to “demand” more from boys.
  • Cassie pushes for directly encouraging guys to step up.

• Quote (Cassie):

  “I want to hear you talk to the guys and say, guys, what are you doing?” (09:36)

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Final Thoughts: Facing Rejection, Standing Out, and Fears for the Future

• Segment: [10:14–12:57]

  • Hosts highlight that actually putting in effort will make a guy stand out since texting has become the low-effort norm.
  • Another caller, Theresa, voices firm opposition to text invites—laments lost romance.
  • Example shared: a boy who asked in-person, but his date canceled via text.
  • The crew ends with tongue-in-cheek banter about the “romanticism” of prom night.

• Quote (Theresa - caller):

  “I think it's ridiculous that they don't have the guts to come up to your face... That's one of the best times in your life. Why would you want to be asked out over a text message?” (10:45)

• Quote (Cassie):

  “Texting is a form of wimpiness, Wendy.” (12:40)

• Memorable Moment:

  “I love the fact that we're talking about the romanticism of a night where people more often than not end up with their pants off in the back of a rented limo.” (Jeff, 11:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “Remember, this is the prom we're talking about here. This is like one of the biggest nights of your life up until this point!” — Bert (01:19)
• “This texting mode of communication doesn't have a diminished value…” — Jen (03:16)
• “You cannot complain as an adult woman about how guys aren't romantic enough... Your wedding proposal is going to end up being an untext message.” — Cassie (04:18)
• “It gives kids… a chance ... lets them get a chance at some of the bigger goals...” — Eastaco, caller (06:14)
• “If you don't accept a text message... you're not going to go to prom.” — Julie, caller (07:52)
• “I'm one of those romantic girls that would like to have a pizza written with prom and a question mark delivered to my door in pepperonis rather than a text message.” — Julie, caller (09:09)
• “Texting is a form of wimpiness, Wendy.” — Cassie (12:40)
• “I love the fact that we're talking about the romanticism of a night where people more often than not end up with their pants off in the back of a rented limo.” — Jeff (11:43)

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Episode Flow & Takeaways

• The team keeps the tone playful, authentic, and at times, irreverent about “prom traditions.”
• The generational rift is front and center: younger participants and listeners accept texting as pragmatic, while others lament the lost opportunity for meaningful rites of passage.
• The consensus: Texting might be the new normal, but real-world confidence, effort, and genuine connection are lessons better learned sooner than later.

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Key Timestamps for Reference

• 00:00–03:16: Stats, initial reactions, “8 tips for asking by text”
• 03:16–05:13: Generational divide, what texting means for teens vs adults
• 05:13–06:50: Social skills, facing rejection, caller “Eastaco’s” defense
• 07:47–09:32: Julie’s story: pressure to accept, longing for more romance
• 09:32–10:14: Are girls responsible for raising the bar? Cassie challenges
• 10:14–12:57: Importance of learning to handle face-to-face situations, Theresa’s objections, prom “romance” realities

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In Short

This episode is a fast-paced, entertaining deep-dive into what it means for romance as teens adopt technology for life’s big moments. With humor and heartfelt advice, the Bert Show cast pushes listeners—teen and adult alike—to think about what’s gained and lost when we trade real courage for digital convenience.

Transcript

[A]

The bird show. All right, let's talk proms here for a second. I think there is a deeper problem than just the proms because new stats are showing now that if you're in high school and you want to get in on this. 404-741-Q100 stats are showing that if you're in high school, like your age is 13 to 17 or whatever, that if you get a invitation to go to prom via text, you probably say yes. Wouldn't bother you at all. And they're even giving you suggestions. Eight tips for asking a date to prom over text. Come on now.

[B]

I can't disagree.

[A]

All right, let's go through these one at a time real quick and then we'll talk about the bigger problem here because I think Wendy, as somebody that's younger than us, may have a totally different take on it. Be sure to personalize your text when you ask. Wow, you don't want to see that.

[C]

Big advice. It's common sense. Won't tell you to do that. Okay.

[D]

But you don't want it to look like it's a mass text that could have been sent to three or four people.

[A]

Which if I was in high school would seem like a brilliant idea. However, I'm not, so it's not. Right. Like if you ask four.

[D]

Well, what if three of them say yes?

[A]

Well, then you got another. Well, then it's not really a problem because you never have to see them face to face. You can always text them back, say,

[E]

sorry you responded too slow. It becomes like a radio contest. No, I'm sorry. We already gave away the thousand dollars. But Try again at 815. Try again in my senior year.

[A]

Remember, this is the prom we're talking about here. This is like one of the biggest nights of your life up until this point here. Skip the text shortcuts. Type out full spell checks. Spell checked words for this one is the advice.

[C]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

Totally serious.

[D]

So instead of it would be gr. The number eight. If you went to prom with me, you should really spell it out.

[A]

Spell it out because this is a very important event. Okay. If you are texting to be asked to the prom, ask a witty friend to help you wordsmith it. So not only are they saying that texting is a proper way to go, that that's not easy enough. They say, get a friend now to help you with the wording on it so you don't mess it up.

[B]

It's like a letter. You want it to be just right.

[E]

Says get 160 characters right.

[B]

Absolutely.

[E]

Can you scroll over? Does it say anything, Bert, about scrolling over texting? Because I feel the same way about that as tweeting. If you can't fit it in one text message and it has to say, hey, Wendy, I was wondering if you would like to go to senior prom with me. I have a well with limo and I have already rented my tuxedo and I'm also going with Superman and Jen, do you want to go with me? That right there is a no.

[B]

Well, if you have an iPhone, you can send as long of a text message as you want. Like, there's no stopping and starting.

[E]

Not if you're sending it to somebody who doesn't have an iPhone.

[B]

Well, that's what I'm saying. So give me that something where else

[A]

you don't want iPhones? It says get creative with your cell phone camera. I know a lot of you high students have done that and it's gotten you in trouble. And also, if you're asked out over text, be sure to respond within a few hours. Okay, so that is the standard now to which if you're going to accept or you're going to ask for prom over text, that's your standard. Check out these stats. So 40% of teens between 13 and 17 say they'd consider asking their date to prom via text, and 64% say they'd accept the invitation by text because

[D]

it's just so normal. It's just regular language now. It's sort of just the mode of communication. And I don't think that it carries the same weight that we put on it, the same meaning that we put on it that it does for teenagers because they've always had it. They've always come up with it. I mean, think about it. I didn't have a cell phone until I was in college. And I mean, they've had cell phones since they were 10 or 9 or even younger than that like their parents are giving them cell phones. So this texting mode of communication doesn't have a diminished value like we put a diminished value on it, even though I still believe that it's not the right way to go and it's not proper and it's not, you know, it's not being a gentleman to ask your date to prom via text message doesn't have that same meaning if you're younger as it does to us. So, I mean, yes, I get it, why they're doing it, but I still disagree with it.

[A]

Okay, I agree. I agree with what you're saying about the age thing. And how I agree with that, but here's where I disagree, is that you're starting to set the bar so low for dudes that when they get older you won't be able to reverse this.

[C]

Exactly. That's where I come from, is that you cannot complain as an adult woman about how guys aren't romantic enough. They're not being a gentleman because Jen used the word gentleman. They're not being a gentleman. They don't do this. They do. Because you know what? Your wedding proposal is going to end up being an untext message. I mean, seriously, you can't all of

[E]

a sudden think, melissa Carter, will you marry Eftdala?

[C]

Save that.

[D]

But you can't expect me out on Twitter.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you ever even consider it?

[D]

I mean, we talked back and forth. We never did go out.

[E]

But it was direct via direct message.

[D]

Yeah, but if you're cool with that, that's fine.

[C]

But I think a lot of times, I mean like when you said that, you just, you don't disagree with this. I just know that there's a lot of times you're like, you know, guys are jerks and guys are this and guys don't step up and they're not like old fashioned gentlemen kind of guys. And it's like old fashioned gentlemen kind of guys aren't going to ask you to prom in a text message.

[B]

I don't think they would ever do it to ask you to marry them though. Even if they asked you to.

[C]

Why would it change? Why would it change in 10 years?

[B]

No one's ever done that before.

[A]

You, you, years ago you said nobody would ever ask to go to prom via text.

[B]

But that's okay. I mean, those are teenagers. You're not getting asked to prom when you're an adult.

[A]

But that's when you're supposed to start to learn how to man up is when you're.

[B]

And I think too that like they

[D]

don't have the excuse, especially if they want to ask a girl who goes to their school to. Cause you know you're gonna see her, you're either gonna see her before school, after school, in the cafeteria, like at some point during the day you have a class with her or something. There's a chance to have that face to face meeting if you go to a separate school. And maybe there's not enough time to see her in person. Calling on the phone and actually having a real conversation I think would be second best, you know, but you don't really have the excuse about texting if you're gonna see her at school.

[C]

But you just said that when they get older, all of a sudden they're gonna.

[B]

Yeah. Cause it's just high school.

[C]

How is that gonna all of a sudden? Are they gonna learn? That's my question.

[B]

I think it just comes with age.

[A]

Here's Eastaco.

[E]

Good Morning.

[A]

You're on Q100.

[F]

Hi. I was. I wanted to say that sometimes it gives kids sort of a chance because not all these kids have. High school is supposed to be the best time for the most part of these kids lives when you have like a, let's say a nerd that doesn't really have any girlfriends, maybe not even that many friends. He used the opportunity of texting instead of going in in person. It sort of brings his kids out to shine, so to speak. And it lets them get a chance at some of the bigger goals. Let's say for them that they want to have by the end of their high school career, Easter go.

[A]

I think that's a great, great point. But here's my point to that, is that at some point those quote unquote nerds that you're talking about are gonna have to learn to take rejection face to face. They're gonna have to learn to be brave enough to go up to ask her out. And there's no better time than to learn that lesson than right now. So you're just putting off what you're gonna have to do in a couple of years.

[B]

I would have preferred to text back in high school if we had phones back in, like cell phones are popular back in high school. But now, I mean, I can go out and ask somebody out. Whereas in high school I would have been too shy or timid. So that would have been a perfect way for me to do it in high school. But now I'm not gonna sit here and text somebody to go out with me. I can go to like a bar and ask somebody.

[E]

Wendy, we all know that no matter how somebody asks you out, you're saying yes right now. The window washer could write in the dirt on the window.

[B]

It's true.

[E]

And get your name wrong.

[B]

Oh, very true.

[A]

Hey, Julie. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[G]

Hello.

[A]

Hello.

[E]

Hello.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

Hi, Julie.

[G]

I'm just saying that in today's society, like in my school, if you don't accept a text message, you know, prom offer, you're not going to go to promote.

[A]

But Julie, what if you get that, that, that offer and you text back, why don't you call me? Or why don't you see Me when we both get to school tomorrow.

[G]

Well, here's the thing. Boys are just going to move on to the next one. They're just going to be like, oh, okay, well, this one's just a little too hard to get. So I'm going on to the next one because there are girls that will say yes in a second and show all their friends, like my friends do. I think it's the most romantic thing in the world.

[A]

Melissa, do you want to address that? Because I think you go first. I think you raised a great point.

[C]

You go first.

[A]

See, and here's where it all starts right here.

[C]

Julie.

[A]

See, here's what I'm hearing you say is like you're already acting from a place of desperation. Like, if I don't take this one, then no one else is gonna come along. And dudes sense that. And I see girls turning into women with the same attitude when they're older.

[G]

Yeah, I agree. Like, this year I got a couple of actually text message offers, which is funny how you brought that up today. And I said no, because, you know, I'm sadly one of those romantic girls that would like to have a pizza written with prom and a question mark delivered to my door in pepperonis rather than a text message.

[D]

That's cute.

[C]

That's not sad.

[G]

I didn't go to prom this year, so.

[A]

So you're saying you raised the bar and you sat home?

[G]

Mm, I did.

[E]

That sucks. You didn't get your pizza.

[G]

I know, right?

[A]

Jeff's way more concerned about the pizza. Yeah, but I still think. I mean, I think internally this is all like adult stuff, but you set the bar high and all and talk to the guys. I like that.

[C]

Yeah. And I think that, you know, and I always talk about. Yeah, I don't.

[F]

I.

[C]

The thing that always makes me uncomfortable sometimes in conversations, that all the burden is on the women to make the men do a certain thing. And I understand that women are a huge motivation for men, but it's like, I want to hear you talk to the guys and say, guys, what are you doing?

[A]

You're going to have to. I think we all like to stay away from uncomfortable situations. It's way easier to flee than it is to fight. But at some point, and I know I sound like an old dude talking about this stuff, but at some point you have got to get the skillset, the tools to be able to walk up to somebody and tell them what you want and not be intimidated. And the longer you put that off, the harder it's gonna get.

[C]

And dudes, Listen, I mean, your competition, you have none. If all guys are texting and all guys aren't putting up the effort, if you're the guy that puts up the effort, you are guaranteed to get reaction. You know what I'm saying? Because no other guy's doing it.

[E]

Oh, my God. Can you believe Bert asked me out in person? Like, I had to reject him right to his face.

[A]

And Jeff will tell you this embarrassing. Jeff will tell you this. The more you get rejected. I mean, because he's been rejected time again and again.

[C]

Even when you get married, you get rejected.

[A]

It gets easier. Hey, Theresa. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hey.

[G]

Okay, so I completely agree with you guys. This is ridiculous. I got asked out over text messages and I completely turned them down. I think it's ridiculous that they don't have the guts to come up to your face. Like, nowadays, girls are accepting it and they're like, freaking out. Oh, my gosh. They asked me over prom to go to prom over text. I'm like, that's one of the best times in your life. Why would you want to be asked out over a text message? And like you said, how they're not going to have the guts to do it in the future. You have to grow up and be able to do it when you get older. Are you seriously gonna be freaked out every time to go ask a girl to prom? I think it's ridiculous.

[A]

Amen.

[D]

Good for you.

[G]

I don't think it's romantic at all.

[A]

Amen, girl.

[B]

Amen.

[C]

And I do think that. Yeah, I would love to talk to somebody who got proposed to via text because that's what's coming. It's not gonna change just because the guy. Because graduation does not all of a sudden make a man. You know what I'm saying? It just doesn't. He's not gonna step up all of a sudden. Cause he graduates.

[E]

I love the fact that we're talking about the romanticism of a night where people more often than not end up with their pants off in the back of a rented limo.

[C]

I'm sorry, Jeff.

[E]

End up with their rented pants off in the back of a rented limo?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[C]

It's before 8:30, dude.

[A]

Well, I'm saying, anybody listening right now is way ahead of that conversation.

[C]

I know, but the parents are also listening to.

[A]

Come on. I got this email yesterday after. Before we even started talking about this, and it says, this is from Julie. Heard the news story about boys asking a girl to prom via text and had to tell you about my son. He's 15 and he has never asked a girl out. He worked up his courage and he asked a girl to prom this year in person. She had said yes. And then two weeks later, she text him and told him her parents wouldn't let her go with him, even as a friend. So he got dumped via text.

[C]

See, that's stupid too.

[A]

Can't do that.

[C]

She's at fault for that. She's. That's not cool at all.

[D]

She's got to talk to him in person.

[A]

Those are personal, personal conversations, man. You gotta do it face to face. Don't be wimp, Wendy. Raise the bar, girl.

[C]

Texting is a form of wimpiness, Wendy.

[A]

Group dates either.

[B]

I would never do another one. Yeah, I would never do a group date.

[E]

Take what you can get, Wendy. Just get out there and date.

[B]

I know. Someone just send me a text and ask me out.

[C]

I'll take it. Somebody ask her to prom via text, please.

[A]

Hey, the bird show.