Vault: Is she a hoarder?

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Is She a Hoarder? (August 3, 2026)

Main Theme

This lively episode revolves around a confessional and humorous discussion of hoarding tendencies among the hosts. As they share stories about the irrational keepsakes and clutter they just can’t part with, the group playfully debates whether it’s hoarding, collecting, or simply holding on to memories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Who’s a Hoarder?

• Opening Conversation (00:00–01:15):
  • The host jokes about someone in the studio becoming a “hoarder” (“with a D”), prompting everyone to admit they might have hoarding tendencies.
  • “Everybody is a hoarder of something.” (A, 00:11)

2. Listener Confession: “Am I a Hoarder?”

• Wendy's Story (00:23–02:16):
  • Shares her struggle during a recent attempt to declutter for a yard sale.
  • Keeps things like empty perfume bottles, sewing buttons (despite not sewing), and trinkets.
  • “There’s just random... little trinkets here and there I just can’t get rid of. Like they’re just gonna remain in the box.” (C, 01:51)

3. The Psychology of Hoarding

• Attachment Without Meaning (02:14–02:30):
  • Wendy and hosts discuss the mindset of hoarding unrelated to emotional attachment—mostly based on the idea “maybe I’ll use them one day.”
  • “They have no meaning to me, but maybe I’ll use them one day.” (C, 02:16)

4. Comparing Degrees of Hoarding

• Anecdotes of Extreme Hoarding (02:37–03:23):

  • D recounts a neighbor living surrounded by stacked magazines and clutter.
  • “Her front door always open... maybe a path to the kitchen, but it was piled up.” (D, 02:50)

• Magazines and T-Shirts (03:28–04:05):

  • Hosts pile on, admitting to hoarding magazines already read, mugs they never use, and clothes kept for hypothetical scenarios (like mowing a lawn they don’t have).
  • “I can wear that to bed, or I can wear that if I’m doing yard work. And I never do yard work.” (C, 03:42)

5. Tech Boxes and Digital Hoarding

• Saving Packaging (04:05–05:02):

  • The host admits to keeping all the original boxes for expensive electronics, justifying it with hypothetical moving needs.
  • “If I ever move, I want to have the original packaging to pack up the computer monitor.” (A, 04:47)

• Digital Hoarding (06:34–08:12):

  • Host confesses to never deleting digital photos, explaining a (humorous) theory that an accidental photo might one day solve a crime:
    • “My thinking is that someday I may have a photograph, and in the background... will be a criminal, and my picture will crack the case, so I don't delete any pictures.” (A, 07:01)

6. Sentimental Items

• Mementos and Ticket Stubs (05:02–06:14):
  • Another host says they mostly hoard sentimental things—church bulletins, ticket stubs, and programs, collected since high school.
  • “The only thing I think I hoard is memento stuff...like the bulletin from Easter Sunday... I want to remember that was a really cool day.” (B, 05:04)
  • “I have every ticket, concert, sports, ticket stub. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with all those—from high school.” (D, 05:35)

7. The Struggle to Let Go

• Letting Someone Else Purge (06:14–06:34):
  • Wendy admits she wouldn’t care if someone else secretly decluttered her apartment, but struggles if she has to do it herself.
  • “If someone did it for me, then I wouldn’t know about it. Out of sight, out of mind. But if I had to do it, then I would probably get a little nervous.” (C, 06:27)

8. Pop Culture References & Humor

• Referring to “Hoarders” TV Show:
  • They joke about the dramatics of the reality show and the emotional outbursts people have over their things.
• Playful Banter on Irrational Justifications:
  • The host’s imagined scenario of accidentally capturing a criminal in a discarded photo is met with disbelief and laughter.
    • “I’m stunned right now. Really?” (D, 07:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Keeping Things Without Use:
  “I don’t know why I don’t sew.” (C, 01:43)

• On Clothing Hoarding:
  “I could wear that to the gym. I... I’m never going to the gym.” (D, 03:59)

• On Memento Hoarding:
  “What am I going to do with it? ...Mount it in a photo album? No! Why am I holding onto that?” (B, 05:10)

• On Extreme Justifications:
  “My thinking is that someday I may have a photograph, and in the background... will be a criminal, and my picture will crack the case...” (A, 07:01)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:00–01:15: Opening and framing of the “hoarder” discussion; group confessions.
• 01:15–02:30: Wendy’s struggle with decluttering and the psychology of her keepsakes.
• 02:30–03:51: Anecdotes about hoarding—neighbors, random household items, sentimental behavior.
• 04:05–05:02: Box hoarding—keeping tech packaging and rationalizations.
• 05:02–06:14: Memento hoarding—bulletins, ticket stubs, and nostalgic items.
• 06:14–06:34: Reactions to others suggesting a “purge” and feelings about loss of control.
• 06:34–08:12: Digital hoarding: photos, paranoia, and an “accidental detective” scenario.

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a lighthearted and self-deprecating tone, with the hosts poking fun at one another’s quirks. The conversation is upbeat and relatable, often veering into banter but circling back to the relatable struggles many face in letting go of “stuff.” The group’s authenticity shines through as they balance playful roasting with honest admissions—making it feel like a confessional among friends.

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For Listeners

This episode is for anyone who wonders if their clutter makes them a hoarder—or just a sentimental collector. With laugh-out-loud moments and honest introspection, The Bert Show crew remind us that everyone has their “thing”—whether it’s empty perfume bottles or a folder full of old ticket stubs.

Transcript

[A]

Get it? The bird show. So one of us in the room is becoming a hoarder.

[B]

Der hoarder with a D. Hoarder.

[A]

Hoarder. And I think as we talk about this, we're all gonna have to make some sort of confession. Cause I think everybody is a hoarder of something.

[C]

I don't know if it's exactly a hoarder or a disorganized collector.

[D]

I like that. That's awesome.

[C]

I mean, I don't know what to call it, but yeah, I think I. Becoming a hoarder. I don't know if it's like a disease that you just get or I don't know. But I was cleaning out because me and my mom wanted to do like a dual yard sale. Because I just have a lot of crap that I just don't need. I mean, there is no place in my one bedroom apartment for all this.

[A]

Now you say a yard sale, so that means you have an abundance of paperback books and doilies and little ceramic things. Right.

[C]

And lamps and random stuff that you really don't need.

[B]

A big wheel.

[C]

Yeah, One random and then one random yard tool. I mean, you always got to sell something like.

[D]

Exactly. So doesn't work a Christmas decoration that's kind of got a piece missing and

[C]

a vacuum that doesn't work all in the yard. But no, I was like going through my apartment and trying to clean out the boxes that I still have. And there's like empty perfume bottles. There's like. You know those little buttons you get on there's what? Empty perfume bottles.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I just.

[B]

I just haven't thrown them away. Is there like a little bit left in the bottom? And you're like, oh, I'll get to that someday.

[C]

A little bit left or it's like one that you get from like an antique store and just like a cool looking bottle, but it's empty. There's nothing in it. Or, you know those little buttons that you get on your clothes that can replace a button if it falls off?

[A]

I save those too.

[B]

Me too.

[C]

I don't know why I don't sew.

[D]

I don't know if a button falls off my shirt. I doubt I'm actually gonna notice that. Yeah, Take a three thread and needle. I'm gonna do that.

[C]

But yeah, there's just random like little trinkets here and there that I just can't get rid of. Like they're just gonna remain in the box. I had an opportunity to throw them in the trash bag to take over to the yard sale. But I didn't do it. And so it. Now it's just collecting space.

[A]

So the empty perfume bottles are still in your house and you didn't sell. You're not selling them at the. Yeah.

[C]

So the clothes that I tried to get rid of, and I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of anything.

[B]

Why is it that you don't want to let them go?

[C]

I don't know. They have no meaning to me, but maybe I'll use them one day.

[B]

Is that always the thought of a hoarder? Like, I'll get to that someday. I'll. You know, it's like. It's like kind of consistently putting together a project list.

[A]

Talking to Wendy about her hoarding problem. Wendy is collecting all sorts of things in her house and can't even sell them at a yard sale.

[D]

And it seems like you're just collector. Yeah. It just sounds like you're realizing it now that you could not take those items to your mother's yard sale. Like, that is what's funny to me is that there's no emotional connection to it, but for some reason, you feel like you're gonna. Cause I think that that may be the idea that you're gonna use it someday. There was a woman that I. In my. In one of my complexes years ago that I used to live in, and literally, she was a hoarder. And she let everybody know it because I don't think she could get her door closed. The glass storm door is the only door that was closed. Her front door always open. And every time I passed by, I mean, there was maybe a path that she could walk from the front door to the kitchen, but it was piled up with magazines and papers and items and.

[B]

You're not that bad, are you?

[C]

Does he have a problem getting rid of magazines? Like, I feel like.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. I have a whole box full of just magazines now.

[A]

Have you already read these?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, like old US weeklies. I mean, there's like, coffee mugs and mugs that I don't use. There's T shirts that have random things that I don't ever wear, but.

[B]

And you don't want to get rid of them.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

For some odd reason, I just can't let. Let them go. I'm like, I can wear that to bed or I can wear that if I'm doing yard work. And I never do yard work.

[A]

I don't wear that to mow the lawn. But I live in an apartment and don't have a lawn. I'M just saying that if I ever wanted to mow the apartment complex's lawn, I will wear that.

[D]

Just like me in T shirts, I'm gonna wear that. I could wear that to the gym. I. I'm never going to the gym.

[A]

In my gym I can use that to wipe up a spill. Right. The. I have a problem with boxes that things come in and I don't know what the dollar value is but like if something costs maybe over 100 bucks, like a digital camera for example. If I have a digital camera that's like over $100, I'll save the box and all the packaging and everything and I open it very carefully and I fold the little bag up and I put it in there and I keep it. And I have tons of empty technology boxes.

[B]

Yes, but some technology you're not using anymore.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Like it's probably from like three phones ago that you're not even using that BlackBerry anymore.

[A]

Yes, I have multiple boxes of random like old blackberries and stuff.

[D]

Same thing.

[A]

Computers come in and I'm like. And my justification of it is if I ever move I want to have the original packaging to pack up like the computer monitor.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Which doesn't. I don't know why, but I have a ton of boxes in my house

[B]

that I feel like I'm the polar opposite. I like clean out all the time, clean out, give away. I try to purge everything. The only thing I think I hoard is memento stuff. Like the bulletin from Easter Sunday when I went with my parents in New York. I'll hold onto that because I want to remember that was a really cool day. But I mean what am I going to do with it? Like mounted in a photo album? No, like why am I holding on to that? That's the kind of stuff I hoard, you know, ticket stubs from events I've gone to.

[D]

I have every ticket, concert, sports, ticket stub. I still don't know what I'm going to do with all those. But from high school really, do you

[B]

have them in an organized like box or like a file folder or are they just around?

[D]

No, they're collected. But it's like I don't know what project I'm going to do with them later on. And then, I mean it's all. And then I actually, actually made the comment to Katie the other day I forgot what we had gone to and I got the ticket from. But I said, oh, they just don't make tickets as pretty as they used to be. And then I Thought, oh, my God, how old am I? Because. Because there is a distinct difference in their tickets used to be all decorative, and I think that's why people used to collect them. But now there's just. It's nothing. They don't put any effort in them.

[B]

So would it make you nervous if you had to purge your stuff? Like, your lawn T shirt you're never gonna wear?

[D]

And your.

[B]

Like, if you. If somebody went through your apartment and started throwing out stuff, it would freak you out, even though you're probably never gonna use it.

[C]

I think if someone did it for me, then I wouldn't know about it. Out of sight, out of mind. But if I had to do it, then I would probably get a little nervous.

[A]

If you watch that show Hoarders. Anybody ever see that? Yeah, if you watch the show Hoarders, people freak out when people start touching their stuff. Is this a form of hoarding? What about when I. Because the digital cameras now.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

I have a really hard time deleting pictures. I have two.

[B]

Off the camera or off your computer?

[A]

Off the computer. I have two. My pictures are organized in two sets. One is the. Every picture felt like every picture I've ever taken.

[D]

I don't think that's bad.

[A]

Well, wait till you hear my justification for it.

[B]

What?

[A]

And this is true. My thinking is that someday I may have a photograph, and in the background of that photograph would be a criminal, and my picture will crack the case, so I don't delete any pictures. So, like, if we're all out at a club or something.

[D]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

Are you just yelling? Pictures are going to crack the case of some criminal activity.

[A]

So, like, if we're all out and we're having a good time and I take a picture like the dude.

[D]

I'm stunned right now. Really?

[C]

That's hilarious. Do you just take random pictures in clubs of people?

[A]

No, I'm. If it's like. Let's say I said to say we're all out. Like, Jen and I were at Park Tavern last night for an event. So let's say I'm taking a picture of Jen and her boyfriend, and I take, you know, two or three shots. Cause, you know, Jen's got really small eyes, and she probably blinked. So I take.

[D]

How can you tell? Just kidding.

[A]

I take two or three shots. I won't delete the two bad ones because I'm convinced. And one of them is the guy who just committed the murder in Piedmont park, and he's walking by, throwing the murder weapon in the garbage can. At the exact moment I snap the shot.

[B]

Seriously,

[A]

way too much law and order.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

You're on the bird show.