Vault: Is she being selfish with her holiday wedding?

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: Is she being selfish with her holiday wedding?
Date: July 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the debate: Is it selfish to plan a wedding over a major holiday weekend—specifically Memorial Day? The conversation features lively banter among the cast and call-ins from listeners, each offering perspectives on holiday weddings. The cast explores the bride-to-be's motivations, guest inconvenience, holiday "ranking," and the unique family dynamics that play into such decisions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Dilemma of Wedding Dates

• The bride-to-be (Bride-to-be) shares her and her fiancé’s thought process in selecting Memorial Day for their wedding.
  • Their families are spread across different states and countries (Atlanta, South Florida, South America), and many of their friends are scattered due to military connections.
  • Intent: Chose Memorial Day to give guests a long weekend for travel and to avoid requiring time off work.
  • [02:00] Bride-to-be: “We wanted to make it over a long weekend so that everyone could come to the wedding… So we settled on our wedding to be Memorial Day of next year.”

2. Pushback & Guest Perspectives

• After sharing her plans with a customer, the bride-to-be receives criticism about holiday weddings.
• This sparks introspection and the central question: is it selfish to expect guests to dedicate their holiday weekend to a wedding?
  • [03:10] Bride-to-be: “Am I wrong or selfish or whatever it is for having my wedding over… a holiday?”

3. Cast Opinions: Is it Selfish?

• Jeff: Leans towards yes, highlighting guest sacrifice.
  • [03:38] Jeff: “Well. Well, you’re assuming that’s how everybody wants to spend their holiday.”
• Joanna: Understands the intent but points out the imposition, especially for those with different family sizes or travel needs.
  • [04:07] Joanna: “It’s really selfish because… for immediate family, it’s good… but for people who might have smaller families… it’s taking a weekend away.”
• Shan: Empathizes with guests who have limited vacation time; admits it’s less about the wedding and more about lost personal time.
  • [04:59] Shan: “Most people don’t have a lot of vacation time, so I don’t think that they like to be dictated what they have to do…”

4. Location Matters

• Consensus is that having the wedding in a desirable destination (e.g., a beach in Florida) helps “justify” it somewhat.
  • [05:16] Shan: “That can justify it a little bit,”
  • [05:17] Jeff: “Makes it a little bit better. But… if you’re sending me to, like, Albuquerque on Memorial Day weekend…”
• Guests planning ahead: Recognizes that some guests may already have longstanding plans for holiday weekends.

5. Real Talk: Guest Attendance Expectations

• Destination and holiday weddings see lower attendance; manage expectations.
  • [06:00] Bride-to-be: “If you’re gonna invite 200, only expect… 40%, maybe less, to actually show up…”

6. Holiday "Ranking" — Are Some Holidays Worse?

• Not all holidays are created equal; Memorial Day is perceived as a "less disruptive" holiday versus Christmas or Thanksgiving.
  • [06:27] Joanna: “But honoring the veterans, like on Memorial Day… that is way… that’s like Arbor Day.”
• Marriage to a veteran is considered; Memorial Day gains some appropriateness.

7. Listener Call-Ins: Strong Feelings

• Caller Justin: [06:52] “Having your wedding on a holiday weekend is completely wrong. It jacks up everything for all your guests. People make so many plans…”
  • Especially critical of weddings scheduled on football weekends in the South.
  • Humorous agreement among cast: [07:12] Shan: “Friendship’s over.”
• Caller Terry: Provides a positive counterpoint—had her own successful Memorial Day wedding 30 years ago, complete with a picnic and potluck.
  • [07:43] Caller 3: “I was married 30 years ago, Memorial Day. The next day, we had a picnic. All your helpers, sisters, cousins, bring a potluck. It was the best time we’ve ever had.”

8. Final Thoughts & Acceptance

• The bride-to-be is solidified in her date choice; acknowledges that some people will not come and that's okay.
  • [09:09] Bride-to-be: “She’s like, yeah, you’re just not invited. But you can send gifts in the form of check.”
• Recognition that every wedding can’t accommodate everyone, and some pushback is inevitable.
  • [09:34] Shan: “When are you gonna learn Joanna, that your wedding day is so not about you.”
  • [09:38] Bride-to-be: “I know. It’s about everybody else and making everyone else happy.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Am I wrong or selfish or whatever it is for having my wedding over… a holiday?”
  — Bride-to-be [03:10]
• “You’re assuming that’s how everybody wants to spend their holiday.”
  — Jeff [03:38]
• “Most people don’t have a lot of vacation time, so I don’t think that they like to be dictated what they have to do…”
  — Shan [04:59]
• “Memorial Day is ranking time.”
  — Joanna [08:31]
• “She’s like, yeah, you’re just not invited. But you can send gifts in the form of check.”
  — Bride-to-be [09:09]
• “When are you gonna learn Joanna, that your wedding day is so not about you.”
  — Shan [09:34]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:00]: Bride-to-be explains wedding date reasoning
• [03:10]: The core question: is it selfish?
• [04:59]: Shan on vacation time and guest expectations
• [06:27]: Joanna and Jeff discuss the holiday “ranking”
• [06:52]: Listener Justin weighs in against holiday weddings
• [07:43]: Caller Terry’s positive Memorial Day wedding story
• [09:09]: Acceptance that not everyone will attend

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Tone & Atmosphere

True to The Bert Show’s signature style, the discussion is lively, humorous, and candid, with plenty of sarcasm, eye-rolls, and playful jabs. The cast is real about the challenges of wedding planning and the impossibility of pleasing everyone, mixing seriousness with comedic relief.

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Takeaway

The episode offers a well-rounded debate on the pros and cons of holiday weddings. While the cast and callers agree it can be seen as selfish to claim a holiday for a personal event, they also recognize the practical reasons couples choose these dates. The consensus: do what makes sense for the couple, but prepare for pushback—and don’t expect every invitee to sacrifice their precious holiday time.

If you’re planning a holiday wedding (or invited to one), this episode will give you food for thought—and perhaps a laugh at the realities of modern celebrations.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Joanna]

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[Announcer]

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[Bride-to-be]

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[Lady Luck]

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[Joanna]

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[Announcer]

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[Shan]

The third show just having to make a ton of decisions when it comes to our wedding. Of course, everybody goes through the same thing.

[Bride-to-be]

Everyone's putting in their input. I've noticed lately into a lot of.

[Jeff]

I like the way you say that.

[Bride-to-be]

Input, input. I didn't ask for it exactly. Well, when Jason and I were first engaged just a few months ago, feels like forever ago.

[Joanna]

Just wait till your wedding in three years.

[Bride-to-be]

Exactly. So when we were engaged, the first thing we talked about was the date. Well, it's really important because he has family in South Florida and I have family here in Atlanta and in South America. He's also got friends all over the United States because being in the military you make friends and everywhere you're based on. And so we wanted to make it over a long weekend so that everyone could come to the wedding. Right. So you're thinking, okay, when is a long weekend? Well, obviously you have your holidays like your 4th of July or Labor Day, Memorial Day. So we settled on our wedding to be Memorial Day of next year because this year would be too soon. I just, you know, I have too many family members I need to fly in. It's really expensive. So let's do it for next year. So I was talking to a customer at work and he's engaged as well. So we've both been sharing our stories. And when I told him that I was getting married Memorial Day of next year, he's like, oh, I didn't realize it was over a holiday. And I was like. So he's like, I have an issue with people who have weddings over holidays. And I was like, really? Well, I have an issue with people who butt in when I don't ask them for their opinion.

[Shan]

I have an issue with people who have issues with people that are getting married.

[Bride-to-be]

So it got me thinking and it really bothered me. Am. Am I wrong or selfish or whatever it is for having my wedding over. Over a holiday?

[Shan]

Shan, what do you think? Come on.

[Jeff]

It's a little bit of a selfish, selfish decision.

[Shan]

Think.

[Joanna]

So by a little bit, do you

[Shan]

mean a lot what you're thinking behind it being selfish?

[Jeff]

Well. Well, you're assuming that that's how everybody wants to spend their holiday.

[Bride-to-be]

Okay. Well, no, I think that we assume that we were doing everyone a favor by making it a long weekend and you wouldn't have to rush back or take off work. Or take off work, because don't you think that would be selfish to make you have to take off work?

[Caller 1]

Depending.

[Jeff]

I feel bad. I'll let Jeff say it.

[Joanna]

Yeah, it's really selfish because. What? Yeah, I mean, it's. I understand the motivation behind it. So for immediate family, it's good, but. And you have a huge family, I'm assuming. Cause you're Mexican, so there's some Uruguay, right? In Mexico.

[Bride-to-be]

Yes.

[Joanna]

Joanna's laugh JOANNA STOPS fire so I think for you it might be good, but for people who might have smaller families and a ton of friends coming and a ton of, you know, people coming, then it's, it's taking a weekend away from.

[Bride-to-be]

Are you the selfish one for saying, wow, you're taking my weekend away to come to your wedding? There are going to be a ton more weekends for you to go on vacation. I'm only going to have, well, ideally this one wedding.

[Shan]

Well, I think many people have a.

[Joanna]

You're assuming you're important, which you do. So it's okay. I understand that from you.

[Shan]

Most people don't have a lot of vacation time, so I don't think that they like to be dictated what they have to do on the short amount of vacation time that they have. So that feel sort of like, oh, man. I mean, I probably would have gone somewhere else on my vacation, you are

[Jeff]

doing it in Florida near the beach. Right?

[Caller 2]

It is.

[Bride-to-be]

It is in Florida.

[Jeff]

So that's helpful.

[Shan]

That can justify it a little bit,

[Jeff]

makes it a little bit better. But, you know, if you're sending me to, like, Albuquerque on Memorial Day weekend when I could be in descent on

[Shan]

the beach, you're going to find out how. How. That's a definition of our friendship.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Shan]

Like, if I'm going to go to Albuquerque, I better be a really good friend, you know, Florida, okay.

[Jeff]

I mean, Florida near the beach. Okay. I'm giving you. I'm giving you a little bit more.

[Caller 1]

And I think you have to expect some people not to be able to come because I think other people plan their vacations a long time in advance because they have to save up money, especially with big families. So I think expectations for you can't be that everyone can make it on that week.

[Shan]

I wonder if the attendance, if you look at the attendance list and the confirmation list, if it's higher for weddings that are done over holiday weekends or not done on holiday weekends.

[Bride-to-be]

Well, I do know destination weddings are lower. I was told that if you're gonna invite 200, only expect, you know, 40%, maybe less, to actually show up, that's fine too. You know, I don't need a bunch of people. I do just want whoever we're closest to to come. But don't you think also holidays have a ranking? Like, let's say if I had my wedding over Christmas, I could understand everyone being like one of my best friends.

[Joanna]

Yeah. But honoring the veterans, like on Memorial Day, you know, people who've died for this country, that is way. That's like Arbor Day.

[Jeff]

Especially if she's marrying a military's a veteran.

[Bride-to-be]

And we're gonna have it in a, you know. Anyways, go ahead.

[Shan]

Here's Justin. Good morning.

[Caller 2]

You're on Q100 out and your wedding's a year away.

[Joanna]

She doesn't care.

[Caller 2]

It's not even more like you're gonna

[Jeff]

be so sick of your wedding by the time your wedding gets here.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Shan]

Hey, Justin. Good morning.

[Caller 3]

Good morning. Basically, I was just gonna say having your wedding on a holiday weekend is completely wrong. It jacks up everything for all your guests. People make so many plans. And what's even worse than a holiday weekend is last year I had somebody who planned their wedding on the Saturday of the GE Florida game.

[Joanna]

They don't do that.

[Caller 1]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

What the.

[Caller 2]

I'm going to say yes.

[Shan]

And friendship. Friendship's over.

[Caller 2]

Football season is not a time to get married, especially in The South. I'm sorry. If you have a bunch of Southern friends, then that's selfish.

[Joanna]

Was I the only one looking at Joanna when he said that? Because that was an eye roll like I have not seen since the Ricky Lake Show. Joanna was like, whatever. The Georgia Florida game. This is my.

[Caller 2]

I'd skip your wedding and go to tv. I'd skip the zoom for that one.

[Announcer]

Hey, Terry.

[Shan]

Good morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 3]

Good morning. I was married 30 years ago, memorial Day. The next day, we had a picnic. All your helpers, sisters, cousins, bring a potluck. It was the best time we've ever had.

[Joanna]

Yeah, but when you got married 30 years ago, you were only honoring, what, one war?

[Caller 3]

Huge.

[Shan]

Joanna, you'll have a pot luck. The word potluck in Joanna's wedding, I don't think is probably going to be so.

[Caller 2]

And she's the bride, of course. She had a great time. It was her wedding.

[Shan]

Yeah. What we need to do is talk to people that had to attend these because most are calling up that had their wedding on holiday weekends and said it was the greatest thing ever. What we want to hear from is the people that had to attend to give you some real talk.

[Bride-to-be]

But like I said, I think that there is a ranking of holidays. It's not like a Fourth of July.

[Caller 2]

This is holiday in the warm weather.

[Joanna]

Memorial Day is ranking time.

[Bride-to-be]

People get out on the cause.

[Caller 2]

It introduces Senna.

[Bride-to-be]

It's at the beach.

[Jeff]

Like Wendy said, families plan around Memorial Day. So families already have, like, their vacation houses at the beach and stuff.

[Bride-to-be]

Like planet for St. Augustine, Florida.

[Joanna]

And you know what? The fact that it's in Florida and it's Memorial Day weekend guarantees really convenient, inexpensive flights and housing. Oh, yeah. Nope, never mind. That does not help. That's not in your favor. I shouldn't have said that out loud.

[Shan]

Are you set on that date right now? Are you set across. So it's done.

[Jeff]

Did she pay money yet?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Joanna]

She's not gonna move her wedding because we're giving her grief.

[Bride-to-be]

She's like, yeah, you're just not invited. But you can send gifts. You can send gifts in the form of check.

[Jeff]

At least not Thanksgiving weekend, which one of my best friends did to me on Thanksgiving weekend because it made it easy for her family. All of her family was coming to the same town so everybody else would just bail on their families right after

[Bride-to-be]

Thursday for New Year's. It's not like I'm having it on New Year's Eve. Right.

[Shan]

When are you gonna learn Joanna, that your wedding day is so not about you.

[Bride-to-be]

I know. It's about everybody else and making everyone else happy.

[Shan]

Yeah, that's my only day. And I'm the angel.

[Caller 2]

It is April 6th, right? Yeah. And you're getting married in May of 2011. Good God, what is she gonna be? We need to take before and after pictures because by next May.

[Shan]

I don't know, beat down.

[Joanna]

Get it?

[Host]

The Bird show this episode sponsored by Mood. Okay, this is actually genius. Are you ever overwhelmed with choices at the dispensary? What if I told you that you could shop cannabis by the exact mood you want tonight? With Mood, you don't shop by strain names or confusion. You shop by how you want to feel. Want to relax after work, sleep better, feel more creative or be more social? Mood makes it simple. Pick the Feeling and Mood recommends products to match. Mood has gummies, flour, pre rolls and edibles designed around your Mood. I tried Mood's sleepy gummies and within an hour I felt calm, settled and ready for bed. No dispensary run, no second guessing, Just a smooth, relaxing experience delivered to my door. It's federally legal, third party tested and backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Go to mood mood.com that's m o o d dot com. However you want to feel tonight. Mood helps you get there.

[Bride-to-be]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

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[Announcer]

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