Vault: Is she obsessed with being proposed to?

Summary

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The Bert Show - Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: Is She Obsessed with Being Proposed To?
Date: June 12, 2026

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Overview

This episode centers on Joanna Rodriguez, a Bert Show regular, and her anxieties about waiting for her boyfriend, Jason, to propose. The cast explores the tension between personal timelines for engagement, pressures (both internal and external), and the dynamics of modern relationships. Featuring candid confessions, relatable listener stories, and lively debate, the conversation delves into why proposals matter, whether women should set "expiration dates" in relationships, and how men approach commitment.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Joanna’s “Proposal Obsession” & Relationship Backdrop

• [01:31] Joanna’s known for loving her boyfriend Jason and wanting to be married, but also for her enthusiasm to plan a big wedding.
• She jokes about being a committed snooper, having checked Jason’s texts and mail for engagement clues.
  • Quote:
    “I love going over and over again how much I snoop through his things, but I do.” – Joanna [02:11]

2. Pressure & Proposals – Does Talking About It Hurt?

• The team discusses whether Joanna should let Jason propose on his own time, noting that repeated hints or pressure may backfire.

  • Quote:
    “Every time you say to him, should I bring an outfit? He’s like, oh, my God, let it go. And it’s making him mad... in his mind, he’s going, let it go.” – Bert [10:00]

• Bert shares that, in his own relationship, any mention of engagement stalled his proposal plans.

  • Quote:
    “If it came up on a Sunday, like, it wouldn’t happen that week. Like I was not. It had to completely…” – Bert [03:16]

3. Jason’s Perspective – Practicality & Timing

• On a recent trip, Jason reveals concern about balancing his upcoming master’s program and the expense of a wedding, suggesting maybe they should wait.
  • Quote:
    “...maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea for us to be planning a wedding as he’s getting his master’s, because we’re going to be spending money.” – Joanna [04:36]
• Discussion ensues on whether this means “waiting” another two years or more.

4. Should There Be a Deadline? – The “Expiration Date” Debate

• Joanna Rodriguez (host, not guest) advocates for women to set their own “mental expiration date”—not shared with partners—at which point they’d move on if not engaged.
  • Quote:
    “If Jason doesn’t reach that date, then let it go… you could be out there dating seriously… so my theory is, don’t ever tell him what that date is. Never say it.” – Joanna Rodriguez [06:18]
• Joanna (guest) feels it’s still “early” (two years together) and is willing to wait even longer.
  • Quote:
    “He is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so I would wait those five, six years if that’s how long he wanted to wait.” – Joanna [07:33]

5. Listener Stories & Gender Perspectives

• Caller Monica shares that she gave her fiancé a private “expiration date”; he proposed within her limit.

  • Quote:
    “I told him, you have an expiration date. I’m not going to tell you when it is, but you do. …I knew he did too. …But I wasn’t going to be the girl on the sidelines waiting for years for him to get his life right…” – Monica [11:17]

• Repeat tales of women waiting many years, only to be left for someone else or never proposed to, spark concern among the hosts.

• The hosts discuss male psychology, the idea that men wait to propose until everything feels “perfect” and how that rarely arrives.

  • Quote:
    “I just wanted it all lined up perfectly… And then I realized later that that time really doesn’t come.” – Joanna Rodriguez [09:23]

6. Love vs. Marriage – What If the Proposal Never Comes?

• Joanna stands firm: she loves Jason enough to be together, married or not.

  • Quote:
    “Forever? Even if forever means we’re living together and it’s a common law marriage? …I love him.” – Joanna [14:49]

• The hosts playfully warn her never to say on-air that she’d wait “forever”—but recognize her sincerity.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On snooping and anticipation:
  “I have to pass this, like, big billboard on my way home every day where it’s like engagement rings. And one day we pass it together and he goes, aw, honey, do you have to look at that every day on your way home? Oh, no.” – Joanna [04:16]

• On setting your own boundaries:
  “A guy knows in six months if he wants to be with you, period.” – Monica (Caller) [11:10]

• On the proposal paradox:
  “There really is never a perfect time.” – Joanna Rodriguez [09:38]

• Joanna’s final take:
  “Well, this is who I am, and I’m not changing, so he needs to figure that out.” – Joanna [12:33]

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Key Timestamps

• [01:31] Introduction to Joanna’s situation and relationship background
• [02:11] Joanna admits frequent snooping for proposal clues
• [04:36] Jason's rationale for delaying the proposal
• [06:18] The hosts debate setting silent deadlines
• [08:59] Exploring male psychology around proposals and life timing
• [11:09] Monica’s “expiration date” story
• [13:23] Host shares a story about relocating for love—or not, without a ring
• [14:49] Joanna commits to waiting “forever” if needed

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Conclusion

This lively episode provides a humorous yet earnest look at engagement anxieties—from proposal-obsessed partners to commitment-phobic counterparts, and the complications in between. Advice ranges from “let it go” to “set a secret deadline and move on if unmet,” peppered with memorable anecdotes and a clear message: communication is vital, but so is knowing (and respecting) your own boundaries.

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Transcript

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[Joanna Rodriguez]

The Bird Show Joanna Rodriguez. Well documented on the show that she has this great relationship with her boyfriend Jason. And also well documented on the show that Joanna wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him.

[Jay]

Oh, and in parentheses, plan a really awesome wedding. Right?

[Bert]

Right.

[Jessica]

Oh, of course.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Secondary, of course. Fine, she got a good man and all that, but she also wants to plan a really cool wedding. So, you know, we've taken a lot of calls from listeners before that have said, you know what, just let it go, man. Let it go. Be you. Him do this at his own pace. Let him do it at his own time. And Joanna, at least on the surface, has told us, you know what, she's just letting it go now, Right.

[Joanna]

Because she's snooped before, right? Yeah, I've snooped. I've seen text message. I found a piece of mail. I love going over over again how much I snoop through his things, but I do. I have.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Does it make it sound crazier the more you talk about it? Like, I can't believe this is you you're talking about.

[Joanna]

I mean, I don't think I'm crazy, but I'm sure maybe the general public might think I'm crazy.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

So now we're all kind of invested now we all want this engagement to happen. We like Jason, we like you. And Jeff came in today and said that he took another step backwards, maybe in this whole thing.

[Joanna]

I. Yeah, unfortunately, I. Okay, Like I said, I let it go. But that doesn't stop me from thinking that every vacation there might be a proposal around the corner. So this past weekend, we went on the snowboarding trip, and I thought there were plenty opportunities for him to do, you know, to propose and everything. And he.

[Bert]

Did you bring like, a special outfit or anything in case he did?

[Joanna]

No, but I did ask him. I said, should I bring anything nice? And he said, no.

[Jay]

Why? So you guys stopped bringing it out. He was planning on it then. That was the comment that made him not do it.

[Joanna]

Ale asked if I should bring something.

[Jay]

I don't really asking him.

[Bert]

I am telling you from experience, and you can ask Jessica. The pressure was on for a while for me to ask Jessica because we ended up having to move. We moved from Arizona to Philadelphia. And then get to the point.

[Jessica]

We gave him crap on air about it.

[Bert]

Yeah. And that didn't last long. So, like, I would make a conscious decision. I was very aware of when she brought it up. And if it came up on a Sunday, like, it wouldn't happen that week. I just wouldn't. Like I was not. It had to completely.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

We have to figure out a way how to reset. We have to reset your attitude about this whole thing because you keep falling into the same thing where you say, look, I'm over it, and then you give him another sign that you're really not. You have to do something so drastic the other way. Like break up with him. No, she has for him to get back on the track of him really taking you seriously about not being eager

[Bert]

to be back, just not talk about it.

[Jessica]

Well, I don't want to go too far with that because you teased saying that you took a big step backwards and we're not sure why it went backwards.

[Joanna]

That's another sign but just a side note, he doesn't help out either because I have to pass this, like, big billboard on my way to home every day where it's like engagement rings. And one day we pass it together and he goes, aw, honey, do you have to look at that every day on your way home? Oh, no.

[Jay]

Yeah. So he's kind of rubbing it in. He's rubbing it in.

[Joanna]

Anyway, so we were in Utah and we were killing a Friday. We were there because the couple we were spending the weekend with had to work that day. So we were, like, just exploring Salt Lake City and everything. And we went to a bookstore and I bought a book, and we were just sitting there talking and. And he started telling me that since he's going to school in the fall, he's going to get his master's degree, then maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea for us to be planning a wedding as he's getting his master's, because we're going to be spending money,

[Jay]

which is a one or two year program.

[Joanna]

I believe it's a two year program. So I don't know. Now it's like, hey, we're going to be.

[Jay]

That means it would be a year and a half or two years before he would propose.

[Joanna]

I don't know. Because then he asked.

[Jay]

Well, or two and a half years.

[Joanna]

He was saying, wouldn't we just postpone the wedding until after I'm done with school? And I said, nobody gets engaged for two years. And what's the point of being engaged? He might as well just wait. Because at that point, it's a promise ring. And he goes, oh, I can just get you a promise ring. And I'm like, no, the promise ring

[Joanna Rodriguez]

is really the shut up ring.

[Bert]

Here's what he's doing. He is right now attempting to throw you off. He is attempting to stop Jeff. No, I'm telling her.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

She thinks the same thing.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Oh, you.

[Bert]

Yeah. Don't bring it up anymore. I know you are incapable of doing it because you're pretty convinced the world revolves around you, but just send it.

[Jessica]

It's coming from someone who feels the same way, Right?

[Joanna]

It isn't.

[Bert]

But just for this, give him 30 days. Don't make a hint. Don't make a ring joke. Don't make a wedding joke. Don't make a comment. Don't make it.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

This will launch us into a totally different conversation, but this is the same advice that I gave Tracy and I got so much heat for this. This theory is that I think in a woman's Mind, I will say it again. Go ahead and send me the hate emails. Now that. I really do believe that in your own mind, you have now have to create a date that is acceptable for you in your own mind to be engaged by. And if Jason doesn't reach that date, then let it go. And my theory. Let him go, because this is. My theory here, is that I have known way too many women that have been in serious, serious relationships, and they waited for that engagement ring. And they waited, and they waited, and they waited. 24 came by, 27 came by, 30 came by, and at 31, he left her for somebody else or decided that that wasn't his future. So now you've got six years where you could be out there dating seriously looking for your soulmate or finding the guy that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with that he's robbed you of. So my theory is, don't ever tell him what that date is. Never say it. It's in your own head. And if he reaches your timeline, great. If not, it is time to move on.

[Joanna]

Yeah. I just think we're still really early in our relationship. We've only been together two years.

[Jay]

Two years?

[Joanna]

Yeah. I mean, we were talking five, six years. I would. With you, but he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so I would wait those five, six years if that's how long he wanted to wait.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Really?

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Jay]

Just no deadline for you.

[Bert]

You don't have to. I'm telling you.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Hold on, hold on. Let's back up. So let's chew on this for a second here. Jay, what did you want to say there? No deadline or. Yes, deadline?

[Jay]

I would say yes, deadline. Yeah.

[Joanna]

Do you think if we were living together, there would need to be a deadline because we don't live together?

[Jay]

So I think it's good that you don't live together. I think that's a really smart move, and I think Bert's right. I think some sort of internal line for you in the sand, because I think if you wait a really long time, and it is maybe five, six years or whatever it is down the road, it's going to. There's going to be so many disappointments along the way that it kind of ruins when it actually happens. I just. I don't know. And I mean, I just. You would be really sad if all of your friends got married before you, and you and Jason been dating longer than them.

[Joanna]

And I'll.

[Jessica]

And I agree. I mean, I've known people like, I know A couple that they were together for eight years. And of course you get comfortable and you think, well, this is the guy I'm going to be with the rest of. And he broke up with her. And then he had gotten engaged to his ex girlfriend within six months. Eight years out of your life. Eight years out of your life.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

30 years is a huge piece of real estate.

[Jessica]

And guys, you're gonna have to talk more about your psychology because it seems to me that a guy only proposes when he. I don't know, when he feels when he needs to, or, like, what does it take for a guy to propose? Because I do think that, you know, the whole. You know what your grandparent would say, well, you've already given him everything, so what's the point in him asking you to marry him anyway? You know, like, what is it about a guy? What is the change? Are you afraid you're gonna lose her and that's why you ask? Or, you know, what is it?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I think my thought was that I had to have everything lined up just perfectly before I got engaged. I wanted to have a good job. I wanted to have a really sweet career. I wanted to have money in the bank. I maybe wanted to have an apartment,

[Jay]

provide, like, to be able to go to her father and be like, I will take care of her for you.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I just wanted it all lined up perfectly, you know, for it. And then. And then I realized later that that time really doesn't come. It never really. It's not all lined up perfectly. And I had the same thing when we were talking about having kids is I need more money in the bank. I need more this, I need more that. There really is never a perfect time.

[Bert]

But then I think there is a certain population of guys who appreciate the fact that this is 1,000% uniquely theirs. Yeah, like the whole package is theirs. And I think that if you have one of those guys and he wants it to be completely his, you set yourself back every time it comes up. Every time you say to him, should I bring an outfit? He's like, oh, my God, let it go. And it's making him mad. And he won't say it. But I'm telling you, in his mind, he's going, let it go.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Here's Monica. Hey, Monica. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Monica]

Hey, guys. I love you so much. Thank you for having me on.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Thank you.

[Monica]

I wanted to tell Joanna I gave my fiance an expiration date. We had been dating for about two years, and I was always told by all my guy friends and My father. A guy knows in six months if he wants to be with you, period. And I wasn't in the mood or young enough to be drug out for five or six years dating a guy, so I knew. I told him, you have an expiration date. I'm not going to tell you when it is, but you do. So he proposed nine months before that expiration date, and we're getting married this year.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Is that right?

[Jay]

You tell him what it was?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

She told him she had a gun that was loaded. She just didn't tell him when it was going off.

[Monica]

Exactly. I told him, I love you and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I knew he did, too. And part of his was making sure things were in order in his life. And I understood that. But I wasn't going to be the girl on the sidelines waiting for years for him to get his life right when I already knew what I wanted.

[Jay]

Good for you.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yeah. And I agree with you also that guys. Guys know if they want to be with you for the rest of their lives. I think before you think that we

[Jay]

know, do you know in a year?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yes.

[Jay]

I mean, in under a year for me?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yes.

[Jessica]

Well, in two. Like, Joanna's been with him for two years, so he knows.

[Joanna]

I don't think in my head that he doesn't think. He. I mean, he. We want to spend the rest of our lives together. I've saw the email saying that, you know, it was gonna happen in January, which I hate the day that I saw that email, because that's when all this started. I just think maybe, like, Bert, maybe he thinks, like, I want all this to be perfect. I want to get my education out of the way. I want us to be out of debt. I want us.

[Bert]

And he wouldn't have written that January date.

[Joanna]

Maybe. I don't know. And then, because I saw it, maybe that's why he's, like, changing it now. I don't have a doubt. I don't have a doubt in my mind that we're gonna get married. It's just driving me crazy now because I don't know when it's gonna happen.

[Bert]

Because you snoop and you bring it up and you wait for him, and he's not gonna do it on your terms.

[Joanna]

Well, this is who I am, and I'm not changing, so he needs to figure that out.

[Bert]

Then I hope you're happy being single.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Hey, Del. Good morning. Hey. We're talking about expiration dates. And should women have, like, a mental expiration date? In their mind and then bail on the dude if he doesn't meet it.

[Caller]

Well, sometimes I think you should have expiration date. It depends on how long you've been with the guy. I think you said you've been with him two years. And you both, you know, you have your own place, you live by yourself, and he lived by himself. But the same thing happened to my sister. She met a guy down here in Georgia and together for seven years. Hello. They've been getting for seven years, and she thought that's the guy that she, you know, wanted to spend the rest of her life with and everything. They wouldn't bought a home together and everything and thought they was gonna get married. And this guy left her.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yeah, yeah. I've heard too many stories like that. Or a woman goes across country for a dude, gives up her friends, gives up her family, gives up a great job, comes to Atlanta. Then three years later, dude decides he wants to go in a different direction. I will tell you this. Look, I know from personal experience that I was in D.C. and I got a job in Dallas, and Stacey's flat out said to me, look, this is the only hometown I know. If you want me to go to Dallas with you and you want us to be together, then you better put a ring on my finger before we go to Texas. And I sure enough did.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

She told me later that I really didn't have to, but that's only because she did. She's mean.

[Jessica]

Yeah, she didn't really mean that. But now, when producer Tracy was going through this with her husband, we gave, what did we say, two to four years? Is that kind of gray area? But was it three or four years that you have to really start questioning whether or not you're gonna get to, you know, get married?

[Jay]

And I think that's a sliding scale on age.

[Bert]

Yeah. And I think it's a bigger scale.

[Jay]

I think the younger you are, I think the longer you can be together beforehand. Like, when I got married, we had been together, what, like, five and a half years, but we met when I was 19. Five and a half years now. Oh, hell no.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Jay]

Like, now my sliding scale would be a lot shorter.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

When does that happen for you? Now. So, like, now he's talking about not proposing for another year or so. At what point in your head do you say, okay, this is a dude that can't commit. I got a bail, and I got to go. I got to check something else out.

[Joanna]

I'm still sticking with that. If I wait, I'll wait for him.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Forever.

[Joanna]

Forever? Even if forever means we're living together and it's a common law marriage? Like, why is that any different? I love him.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

There is nobody else for you. You love him so he can take as much time as he wants.

[Joanna]

I mean, I would love to have a wedding and I would love to have people there, but he means so much to me.

[Bert]

Well then

[Joanna Rodriguez]

never say that again on the radio.

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