Vault: Is the 9:45am mystery man onto The Bert Show?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault — Is the 9:45am Mystery Man Onto The Bert Show?

June 30, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the ongoing mystery of a man who consistently visits Whitney's gated townhouse complex every morning, stays for five minutes, and leaves. Having detailed the routine on a previous show, the crew tries to determine if the mystery man knows he’s being watched or is a Bert Show listener. Whitney calls in with live updates, and the cast tries to decipher any new clues, all while keeping things light and interactive with listeners and guests.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Mystery Deepens

• Routine Recounted:
  • Host reminds listeners of Whitney’s situation: "This dude shows up to her townhouse community… parks and then walks behind this row of townhomes and then goes into one townhouse for five minutes and then comes back out." (01:01)
• Whitney’s Update:
  • Whitney and her friend Frankie are together as they watch the usual spot to see if the man appears.
  • This morning is different: the man arrives but instead of parking, he makes a U-turn and leaves.
    • Whitney: "He showed up, kind of like made a U turn and left. So we're kind of wondering what he's doing." (01:53)

Speculation & Theories

• Is He a Listener?
  • The crew wonders if the man heard about himself on the radio and altered his routine to avoid detection.
    • Jeff: "So do you think...he's listening or heard about it?" (02:42)
    • Co-host: "Or he figured out it was him." (02:49)
• Listener Involvement:
  • The show jokes about the voice disguiser and how people could call in pretending to be the mystery man.
    • Jeff: "We’re going to get 500 calls right now from people going, hello, I'm in the voice disguiser…" (03:09)

Frankie’s Investigation

• Frankie Does Recon:
  • Frankie walks the neighborhood after the mystery man leaves but finds nothing out of the ordinary.
  • Frankie peers into the suspected townhouse: “You can see like chairs, maybe kitchen table...it looks like the house is lived in…on the deck, there’s chairs and a table.” (04:42)
  • Melanie of the ambiguity: Frankie couldn’t determine clearly if it was a model home or occupied. (04:54–04:59)

Escalating Curiosity & Ongoing Surveillance

• Multiple Unanswered Questions:
  • The hosts express increased curiosity due to the man’s unusual behavior today.
    • Host: “Well, damn. I'm more curious now than I was yesterday.” (05:26)
• Frankie Returns Tomorrow:
  • Despite hesitation, Frankie agrees to come back to Whitney’s to keep watching for the mystery man.
    • Host (teasing): “Frankie, what are you doing tomorrow morning?”
    • Frankie: “I guess I'm coming here.” (06:40–06:44)
    • Jeff: “Will you answer with a little bit more enthusiasm?”
      Frankie: “I'm coming back because we're going to catch this guy!” (06:46–06:50)

Listener Engagement & Humor

• Listener Jennifer Calls In:
  • Interested more in Frankie than the mystery; asks if there are pictures of him online and about his relationship status. (05:43–06:15)
    • Whitney: “Is he single? Does he like long walks on the beach? You know, the whole vibe.” (05:54)
  • Jeff jokes about Frankie having a discreet Craigslist ad (06:03), keeping the tone playful.
• Breakfast and “Beer Tub Girl”:
  • Hosts joke about setting Frankie up with Jennifer and that Whitney now owes Frankie breakfast for his “stakeout” efforts. (07:55–07:59)

Assessing the Practical Approach

• Model Home Theory Raised:
  • Listener Kim suggests just calling the management company and viewing the suspected home. (08:12)
  • Jeff and Host note there’s no for-sale sign and remain baffled.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Host (setting the tone):
  “Let’s get Whitney on here…she just wants to know who this dude is.” (01:01)
• Whitney (on the U-turn):
  “He showed up, kind of like made a U turn and left.” (01:53)
• Jeff (on possible listener involvement):
  “If he was 100% sure, he just wouldn’t show up. But if he wanted to confirm it, he would just have to do something weird.” (02:50)
• Frankie (after recon):
  “It looks like the house is lived in…on the deck, there’s chairs and a table.” (04:42)
• Host (on ambiguous answers):
  “Made a lot of choices, people we could have selected, but we wanted to go with the most ambiguous person we could find.” (05:19)
• Whitney (about Frankie):
  “You can find me on Craigslist. Oh, my gosh, I'd love to work your beer tub. How about that?" (06:15)
• Frankie (with more enthusiasm):
  “I'm coming back because we're going to catch this guy!” (06:50)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:01 – Whitney details the mystery man’s odd routine.
• 01:53 – The pivotal “U-turn” moment: first time the man acts out of the ordinary.
• 02:42–03:09 – The crew wonders if the man is a listener; joking about voice disguisers.
• 04:39–04:54 – Frankie checks out the interior of the targeted townhouse.
• 05:26 – Hosts’re now more curious than ever.
• 06:40–06:50 – Frankie is “volunteered” for another surveillance mission.
• 08:12 – Listener Kim suggests directly calling management about the home.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential Bert Show blend of mystery, humor, and audience engagement. The unsolved routine of the "9:45am man" continues, with real-time updates, fun speculation, light-hearted ribbing, and suggestions from listeners. The intrigue remains as the team pledges to keep watch, promising future follow-ups—and perhaps finally an answer to the morning mystery.

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Transcript

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[Jeff]

The bird show.

[Host]

All right, let's get Whitney on here because Whitney called us yesterday and told us this story that we've told so many times now that this dude shows up to her townhouse community. It's a gated townhouse community every day. Parks and then walks behind this row of townhomes and then goes into one townhouse for five minutes and then comes back out. And she just wants to know who this dude is.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host]

Hey, Whitney.

[Whitney]

Hi. Hi.

[Host]

How are you?

[Whitney]

Good. How are you?

[Host]

Good. Okay, now this is normally the time the dude shows up, right?

[Whitney]

Yes.

[Host]

Okay. Have you had contact with Frankie?

[Whitney]

Yes, he's right here.

[Host]

Okay.

[Whitney]

He's in my house with me.

[Jeff]

Are you guys still dressed? Jeff?

[Whitney]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Making sure Frankie is a lover.

[Host]

Did dude show up? Not Frankie. Did the strange guy show up?

[Whitney]

He showed up, kind of like made a U turn and left. So we're kind of wondering what he's doing.

[Jeff]

Have you sent Frankie out to locate the fella?

[Whitney]

Frankie's right here next to me. We're kind of like, kind of confused with what's happening.

[Co-host]

Did he turn around because of any. Like, was Frankie outside or did he turn around on his own before Frankie had a ch.

[Whitney]

No, we were inside and I saw him pull up and I was like, that's him. But he never went in the parking spot that he normally parks in.

[Host]

So on all the day. All the day for the last couple of months that you've been watching this guy, he's never pulled a U turn before?

[Whitney]

Never, Never Ever.

[Jeff]

So do you think he did? Do you think he's listening or heard about it and he's like, you know what, I'm gonna do something a little bit different today and see if they talk about it.

[Co-host]

Or he figured out it was him

[Jeff]

so I can confirm it's me. Yeah, because if he knew, if he was 100% sure, he just wouldn't show up. But if he wanted to confirm it, he would just have to do something weird.

[Co-host]

And all he has to do is call us voice disguiser and just tell us what he's doing.

[Host]

Well, unless it really was like a drug related thing or something. Even if it's under the table, Voice

[Co-host]

disguiser just let us know and then

[Jeff]

the girls are gonna show up at the sound. That's not gonna work unless we're get 500 calls right now from people going, hello, I'm in the voice disguiser. I was the person up there. I made the U turn because I was just feeding my pit.

[Co-host]

Click,

[Jeff]

play trombone.

[Host]

So, I mean, what are the chance of the dude actually being a listener at that time? And you said the dude was like in his late 40s, early 50s or something like that?

[Whitney]

I would say like late 30s.

[Host]

Late 30s maybe.

[Guest]

Did Frankie park in his parking spot?

[Whitney]

No.

[Guest]

That got a chuckle.

[Host]

You really need to watch Frankie very, very carefully in your house. Will you put Frank Frankie on real quick?

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Frankie]

Hello?

[Host]

Dude, how did you totally mess this up?

[Jeff]

Frankie's on the ocean.

[Frankie]

My cover's blown. I knew I shouldn't have taken the Q100 vehicle.

[Jeff]

No, you didn't.

[Radio Announcer]

Wow.

[Host]

So the dude just pulls in and then pulls a ue, huh? Hold on a second.

[Frankie]

Pulled up, she's like, I know that's his car. And he all. He just. He didn't even stay in the parking spot for a second and then turned around and went back the other way. So I walked out and just walked around the neighborhood and I didn't see any car. And then as soon as I came up the house, she said she saw him pull out.

[Host]

Well, now I'm even more curious.

[Co-host]

So he pulled into the spot but didn't stay?

[Frankie]

Yeah, he didn't stay at all. Like, he didn't even. It was weird.

[Host]

Can we. Can you walk down to the townhouse that he normally goes to and just peek in the window in the back?

[Frankie]

I did. I did already.

[Guest]

What was in there?

[Frankie]

It looks like there, you know, there's chairs in through the window. You can see like chairs, maybe kitchen table or something like that. It looks like the house Is lived in on the deck. There's chairs and a table.

[Co-host]

And it doesn't look like it's staged, for sale, like it's lived in. Or does it? You know, what I mean is, like,

[Frankie]

if it's a model home, you know, it could be. I wasn't. I can't really see in the house that much. So it could be a model home, but, you know, it. Then again, it couldn't be.

[Jeff]

Thank you. Thank you for clearing that up.

[Host]

That's why we have. That's why we sent you down there.

[Jeff]

Made a lot of choices, people we could have selected, but we wanted to go with the most ambiguous person we could find.

[Host]

Well, damn. I'm more curious now than I was yesterday.

[Co-host]

Now, what made him turn around today?

[Jeff]

Frankie, would you be opposed to moving in with Whitney?

[Frankie]

No. Yeah, sure, I could do that.

[Host]

She's very accommodating. Look, there's even a bigger issue on the table here. Good morning, Jennifer. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Whitney]

Oh, hi. I was just wanting to know if there's a picture of Frankie online so we can all see what this big, bad buff guy looks like.

[Host]

You're kind of interested, Frankie, aren't you? He's too much.

[Whitney]

And how old is he? And is he single? Does he like long walks on the beach? You know, the whole vibe.

[Co-host]

All right, he runs.

[Whitney]

Jennifer, you need to know everything.

[Jeff]

You're embarrassing yourself with your desperation right now, Jennifer. That's number one. And number two, he has a running ad on Craigslist under Discreet Encounters.

[Whitney]

Oh, that's hot. Me, too.

[Frankie]

Awesome. I'm like the other singles in Atlanta.

[Whitney]

You can find me on Craigslist. Oh, my gosh, I'd love to work your beer tub. How about that?

[Host]

Actually, I'm gonna put you on hold. Don't go anywhere. As Frankie's relationship agent, I'm gonna put you on hold. We may be interested. Hold on.

[Frankie]

Awesome.

[Host]

Yeah, definitely.

[Guest]

That's hilarious.

[Host]

Okay, so what do we do now? I mean, do we just wait for tomorrow to see if he shows back up?

[Guest]

We've got to go again tomorrow.

[Host]

Or Frankie at least does.

[Jeff]

Frankie, what are you doing tomorrow morning?

[Frankie]

I guess I'm coming here.

[Host]

Indeed.

[Jeff]

Hey, I'm going to ask you that again, and will you answer with a little bit more enthusiasm?

[Frankie]

I'm coming back because we're going to catch this guy.

[Jeff]

Yeah, Frankie.

[Guest]

Got to see if he makes any more U turns. If he keeps doing it.

[Host]

Yeah. Thanks for the time. Will you put her back on real quick?

[Frankie]

Yeah, you got it.

[Host]

I'M really kind of confused now.

[Co-host]

I know the only day he's ever done it.

[Whitney]

Hello?

[Host]

So you're gonna have to give us a call if he shows back up, like in 20 minutes or something.

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Host]

You gotta give us a call back.

[Co-host]

And let me ask a question in the time. Because just to kind of throw this off the table, the fact that it's raining today. You've seen him walk back there in bad weather before, right?

[Whitney]

Like, I haven't really noticed in the rain as well, because, I mean, I have two young kids, so I just watch them throughout the day.

[Host]

But I think we'll put this on hold for a couple of days. Frankie doesn't need to show up there tomorrow.

[Co-host]

Because I'm just wondering, because the only difference between today and the recent days is because the weather's bad, but the fact that he still came and parked and then pulled out and then left.

[Host]

You know, why don't we try this again on Friday or Monday?

[Guest]

Perfect.

[Host]

Okay. All right, Whitney, thanks a lot.

[Whitney]

Okay, no problem.

[Host]

All right, we'll talk to you later.

[Guest]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Bye. You have to make Frankie breakfast, by the way. I promised him.

[Whitney]

How?

[Host]

He set him up with a beer tub girl, and now he's getting breakfast.

[Jeff]

Yep.

[Co-host]

You know what? Guess. Cause he's Frankie. That's what Frankie's all about.

[Host]

Hey, Kim. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Whitney]

Hi.

[Radio Announcer]

Hey.

[Whitney]

Why not just if it's a model home, why not call the management company for the townhomes and just say, hey, we want to go look at the model home?

[Jeff]

We don't know if it is.

[Host]

There doesn't seem to be like a for sale sign in the driveway or anything, so.

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Host]

I'm more confused today than we were yesterday.

[Jeff]

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