Vault: Is There A Proper Way To Blackmail?!

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Is There A Proper Way To Blackmail?!

Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Date: January 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

The Bert Show cast dives into the ethics and realities of blackmail, spurred by personal experience with sharing party photos and requests to remove them. The hosts open up the phone lines for real-life blackmail stories from listeners, leading to a mix of humorous takes and sobering reflections on how blackmail plays out in everyday life. The conversation is peppered with the show’s signature blend of humor, candor, and empathy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Photo Scandal — Personal Stories Kick Off the Topic

• Jeff shares how he innocently uploaded party photos from a recent night out, only to receive multiple calls demanding their removal due to embarrassing or incriminating content.
• Melissa volunteers that she was one of the people who asked for photos to be taken down because she was embarrassed by an unflattering picture of a lump on her head.
• Discussion about how even harmless photos can spiral into potentially blackmail-worthy situations.

Quote:

“So I just, you know, I took him down. I'm not out to get anyone or anything, but I started to think this is how blackmail begins.”
— Jeff (05:25)

2. Is There a Right Way to Blackmail?

• The cast wonders aloud about real-life blackmail: Is it just a movie trope, or does it actually happen to regular people?
• Rodney Ho jokes about blackmailing friends for the website link but quickly turns the situation into a broader discussion about morality.

Quote:

“So anyways, so there's, you know, like, that's how blackmail begins. So if this ever occurs again... I fully intend on having the camera. Because pictures are cool.”
— Jeff (06:02)

• Melissa encourages listeners to call in if they’ve experienced blackmail, promising anonymity via a voice disguiser.

“If you've ever been in any kind of blackmail, you were the one doing the blackmailing. You got blackmailed. You knew of somebody. Want to know if this happens in real life? Real People, time...”
— Melissa (07:59)

3. Listener Blackmail Stories

Story 1: Blackmailed for Sexual Favors

(08:16–12:28)

• A female caller shares that after drunkenly keying a man’s car, she was caught on surveillance. Instead of pressing charges, the man blackmailed her into repeated sexual acts to keep quiet.
• She moves cities, changes her number, and is still pestered by the blackmailer.
• The cast is shocked and sympathetic, urging her to wait out the statute of limitations and asserting she “wouldn’t even get a ticket” for the original crime.

Quote:

“I was shown doing an act of vandalism, but I never heard back. But then he started calling... and would demand sexual favors to keep it quiet. Oh, no.”
— Caller (08:21)

Quote:

“At this point, it's very much worth it for me just to pay.”
— Caller (11:03)

Story 2: Roommate Revenge and Coerced Hookup

(13:06–15:28)

• Another caller recounts a college roommate blackmailing her after a spring break hook-up while she was engaged. The roommate forces her to go on a trip and have sex with her cousin, threatening to reveal her secret if she refuses. Decades later, the threat still hangs over her.

Quote:

“She wanted me to hook up with her cousin... she had this over me and she kept saying, I'm going to take you on this trip to Louisiana, and if you don't go, I'm going to tell.”
— Caller (13:49)

Story 3: Ex-Boyfriend Threatens with Tape

(15:39–17:17)

• A caller describes how her parents threatened to cut her off over her boyfriend. When her boyfriend found out, he threatened to send a sex tape to her parents if she broke up with him.
• She ultimately breaks into his apartment with help from a friend and steals the tape, hoping it was the only copy.

Quote:

“He said if I did not, If I stopped seeing him, if we broke it off, that he was going to send my parents the tape.”
— Caller (16:40)

4. Reflection on Blackmail in Everyday Life

• The hosts are surprised at the prevalence and seriousness of real blackmail stories from listeners.
• Jokingly, Jeff claims he doesn’t need trench coats and manila envelopes to blackmail but maybe needs a cousin in Louisiana (17:33).
• The group underscores the emotional and ethical toll of blackmail, despite their usual light-hearted banter.

Quote:

“You know what? Remember that when you have stress in your life, at least there's not a chance that someone's gonna send a tape of you having sex with someone to your mom and dad.”
— Jeff (17:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It's almost like what happens at Vision stays at Vision. And you were putting it on the Internet.” — Bert (04:38)
• “So if anybody calls with a blackmail story, we can put them on the Voice.” — Jessica (07:55)
• “There's nothing worse than having your parents think, well, first of all, they hated him anyway. And then for them to know that you're having sex and then to actually see it. There's nothing worse I can think of.” — Caller (17:17)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:32 – Jeff opens the blackmail theme with the party photos anecdote.
• 04:38 – Bert raises the ‘what happens at Vision stays at Vision’ rule.
• 06:02 – Jeff considers the temptation and ethics of blackmail.
• 07:59 – Invitation to listeners for blackmail stories—lines open.
• 08:16–12:28 – First caller: blackmailed for sexual favors after vandalism.
• 13:06–15:28 – Second caller: coerced into a hookup by a blackmailing roommate.
• 15:39–17:17 – Third caller: ex-boyfriend threatens with a sex tape.
• 17:00 – Jeff closes with a reflection on life and blackmail stress.

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Final Thoughts

Despite starting with laughs about embarrassing party photos, the episode delves into the shocking reality of blackmail in listeners' lives. The discussion balances humor, empathy, and ethical pondering, making for a strikingly memorable show that underscores how secrets—and their leverage—can deeply affect everyday people.

Recommended for listeners who enjoy candid, real-talk explorations of moral dilemmas, peppered with humor and authentic storytelling.

Transcript

[Jeff]

Mom.

[Ashley]

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[Jeff]

The Bird Show I I'm going to take a page out of the Bert Weiss Radio Handbook where it only takes one phone call.

[Melissa]

We had one of those earlier.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it only takes one phone call. I mean it's good. There's. Well, here's the story. Jessica and I, you know, if you've ever seen us, we come back from vacation, love to take pictures, take a ton of pictures. We have pictures in the wall in our house. We have photo albums, whatever. But one of her complaints was that she you know, the cameras that we use, I always buy like nice cameras because I want to take nice pictures. But it's not Convenient to carry in a tiny little going out purse, which she wears. I'm not going to sling a camera over my shoulder to, you know, go to Vision or something. So in the store a few days ago and I find this digital camera that's like three inches long, half inch thick. It's a good quality camera. It's on sale, it's. And I bought it. So it has been living in Jessica's purse since then.

[Jessica]

And you're in like gadget heaven.

[Bert]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Jeff]

I mean, it's a cool basement.

[Melissa]

It's annoying. I'll tell you why in a second.

[Jeff]

Well, it's only annoying because you are one of the people that I'm about to talk about.

[Melissa]

Every time you go out with Jeff now he's got this camera and he's snapping pictures left and right. There's not a private moment. It's like having your own private paparazzi around or the guy from American Beauty.

[Jessica]

I love that. Let's go out more often.

[Jeff]

So we go to, we go to Vision on Saturday night, which, you know, as fun as it was, there were some ugly moments. See Bird, Sally and. But the camera was out and I was probably only holding it a third of the time. Like it was just getting passed around and people were taking pictures of their friends, whatever, yada, yada.

[Melissa]

You must have given it to Rodney Ho.

[Jeff]

Yeah, no, he brought his own. But, you know, so everybody was taking different pictures. And so when I got home, it was cool to download them all and look at them all and see all the stuff, like stuff that I didn't even see happening.

[Bert]

Right.

[Jeff]

But somebody was holding the camera and caught on, you know, got caught on film. And then I, you know, put them up on a site so I could share them with everybody who participated in that evening. Well, I got more than one phone call with requests to remove pictures. I'm not going to name who it was or what was going on in the pictures, but more than one phone call to take pictures down off the website for one reason or another.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'll volunteer and say I was the first.

[Jessica]

I was going to say, is one of them a married man staring at you right now?

[Melissa]

Yeah, but it didn't have anything to do with married. It just had to do with. I mean, he had these really close up pictures of that lump on my head as soon as it happened. And I was just so embarrassed by it that I didn't want somebody downloading it and then sending it around because I'm embarrassed by the whole situation.

[Jessica]

So I only was describing you as married because there's two men in the room staring at Jeff and you're the only married one.

[Jeff]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Ashley]

I was just.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I wasn't saying it like in reference to the picture.

[Bert]

She wasn't talking about me.

[Jeff]

Well, Bert wanted to take it down because he didn't want his head twin to be sent all around the broadcast.

[Melissa]

Industry embarrassing head to it.

[Jeff]

But there were other people who wanted him down because some people were doing things they shouldn't have been doing. Other people were touching people they shouldn't have been touching. Some people were showing things they shouldn't have been showing.

[Bert]

Like, and, but see, Jeff, don't you take some responsibility knowing that you are putting these. I mean, it's almost like what happens at Vision stays at Vision. And you were. You were putting it on the Internet.

[Jeff]

Never heard that rule.

[Bert]

But I mean, these are your friends that are getting drunk and doing things that they normally do.

[Jeff]

And they were all there and you.

[Bert]

Were taking pictures of them.

[Melissa]

And Melissa's saying. And there you are taking compromising positions. You're weird pictures of all your friends.

[Jeff]

I didn't take most of them. Like, I was shocked when I got them. Like, these are. People were doing stuff in pictures that they wouldn't have done in front of me.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Jeff]

So anyways.

[Bert]

So you were laughing when you posted them?

[Rodney Ho]

Yes.

[Jeff]

So the phone calls came in yesterday. Hey, man, would you mind taking down number 101? Hey, if it's cool. Is there any way. So I just, you know, I took him down. I'm not out to get anyone or anything, but I started to think this is how blackmail begins.

[Melissa]

True.

[Jeff]

I've obviously got a photograph.

[Ashley]

Ooh, ooh.

[Jessica]

Who are you gonna blackmail?

[Jeff]

Well, that's the thing. Like I could.

[Melissa]

He's got a couple of names that he really. I mean, I mean. Cause if my pictures are up and it's just a lump on my head and they're sent around, it's embarrassing. But there's nothing that could really get me in trouble with my family or friends about. He's got pictures of. Of people that would really be incriminating.

[Rodney Ho]

Do the listeners know the website?

[Jeff]

No.

[Melissa]

No. And we're not gonna tell them?

[Jeff]

We're not going to?

[Melissa]

No.

[Rodney Ho]

Oh, well, see, I was gonna start blackmailing people.

[Melissa]

Why?

[Rodney Ho]

Send me some money. Western Union by 10 o' clock or.

[Melissa]

I'll give out the website.

[Jeff]

That's a good point.

[Melissa]

It is a good point.

[Jeff]

So anyways, so there's, you know, like, that's how blackmail Begins. So if this ever occurs again because. Because I. I fully intend on having the camera. Because pictures are cool. So if this comes up again at some point in the future, you're gonna.

[Bert]

Start losing a lot of friends. They're gonna start stop inviting you out.

[Melissa]

See, that's a plus for Jeff. Just, he doesn't want a lot of friends. Anyway, I'm.

[Jeff]

Listen, just behave yourself. If you're not hitting yourself in the head with a beer bottle, then you don't have a lump on the website.

[Jessica]

Well, Bert doesn't have much to worry about. That's just kind of vanity. Yeah, it's just embarrassing, ugly pictures up of you.

[Melissa]

Worst comes to worse. Yeah, I mean, listeners download it, they think I'm an idiot. You probably already do. Not a big deal. But there are some in there where there are some people hooking up that should not be hooking up.

[Jessica]

Relationships that we know would be over.

[Jeff]

So anyways, dude, I gotta know who it is. For future reference, for future reference, is there anyone listening right now who is currently in or has ever been in a blackmail situation?

[Melissa]

And I think it's such an interesting question because you see blackmail all the time, like in movies and on tv, but it doesn't seem to me like it's anything that's really ever viable. Like every now and then I guess you hear about like a movie star or a baseball player that's being blackmailed, but it never really happens in everyday life. So I'm really interested to see if we'll even get one phone call from somebody that has ever been in any kind of blackmail situation at all.

[Bert]

I bet, like divorces around, divorces around, any kind of legal action. I bet there's been those. At least in the movies, the manila envelopes where you have pictures in black and white and you're meeting behind a park somewhere. Yeah, that's type stuff.

[Jeff]

Maybe that's what I should do is blow these up to like 8 by 10 on black and white. Let's put it, put them in an envelope and then I, I go there and they slide over, they put. Sent down a briefcase full of cash and I sit down a briefcase that just has that envelope in it and then we get up and leave and.

[Caller]

Take the other briefcase.

[Jessica]

So if anybody calls with a blackmail story, we can put them on the Voice.

[Melissa]

Oh yeah, for sure, for sure.

[Jeff]

Absolutely.

[Melissa]

If you've ever been in any kind of blackmail, you were the one doing the blackmailing. You got blackmailed. You knew of somebody. Want to know if this happens in real life? Real People, time. We need the voice disguiser for all of these calls, and these are all fake names. Also. Good morning, Ashley. You're on all the hits q100.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Melissa]

Hi. You're on the voice disguiser. No way we can recognize your voice.

[Caller]

Okay, good.

[Melissa]

What's up?

[Caller]

So, yeah, about three years ago, I keyed some guy's car in a drunken fit. Really? In the city of Atlanta. And I get a call from his lawyer about a week later that there was a surveillance camera with my license plate on it, and I was shown doing an act of vandalism, but I never heard back. But then he started calling probably about a month later and would demand sexual favors to keep it quiet. Oh, no.

[Melissa]

Really?

[Caller]

And it's been about three years, and I have to admit, I've done it. I mean.

[Bert]

You did?

[Caller]

I did, yeah. Because I have a job. It's a good doubt. It's. You know, I would lose my job, and it was a totally different lifestyle for me then.

[Melissa]

How. How often did you have to have sex with this guy for him to keep that secret?

[Caller]

I would have to do things, like, to him, you know, I can't really say, you know, regulations, but things were done with my mouth.

[Bert]

Right? Wow.

[Caller]

Yeah. But, I mean, he would act like he liked. He tried to flatter me into it, but then if I said no, he'd be like, listen, you. Something, something. I have this camera that is video.

[Jeff]

Of you, you car keyer.

[Caller]

Yeah. And then he would be like, well, this thing was, you know, $800, and it was $3,000. I'm like, it's hard to, you know, you have no power in that situation.

[Melissa]

So how many times did he keep coming back to you saying, look, I need it. I need a little bit more. I need a little bit more. 20.

[Caller]

Sometimes, like, I would be like, I just had dental surgery. Or, like, I faked accidents. Like, I had, you know, a severe kidney problem. I'd make things up just to, like, get off my back for a while.

[Melissa]

That's literally. So how did it finally end? How did you finally say, okay, that's it, no more.

[Jeff]

That's it?

[Melissa]

It hasn't.

[Bert]

It hasn't yet.

[Caller]

I moved. Actually. I got into. I moved cities and I got my number changed and, you know, I got a new car. But he still finds a way to find me. Every once in a while, he'll send me, like, an email.

[Melissa]

So until you get that tape from him, I mean, you just keep. You have to run. Why don't you just. On the very next time Go. Okay, this is it. Give me the tape and it's over.

[Caller]

Well, I mean, the truth is that the statute of limitations on the crime is about to be up.

[Jeff]

But you know what the crime is? You're not going to jail for this.

[Bert]

Yeah. What would happen?

[Caller]

No, but you know, it's still flex. Have to pay.

[Jeff]

You're not even gonna get a ticket, like.

[Bert]

Well, I was gonna say it sucks to do what you do, but I guess it does. But, I mean, I would rather pay than have to do what you've been doing 20, 30 times.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Caller]

At this point, it's very much worth it for me just to pay.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'd say. Well, I mean, how far out are you from that statute of limitations?

[Caller]

A lawyer friend of mine said it's actually probably just about up. Cause it happened March of 2016 to this happened.

[Bert]

This is a three year statute.

[Jeff]

Just so you know, I don't have.

[Caller]

Research because it's kind of embarrassing to be like, hey, how long is it before you can keep someone's car and walk away clean?

[Podcast Advertiser]

Wow.

[Jeff]

Just so you know, if. If the damage was $800 and you've been with him 20 times, you're getting 40 bucks a pop, literally.

[Caller]

Yeah. So I'm like the lowest paid whore in Atlanta. Really?

[Melissa]

Oh, don't say that about yourself.

[Jeff]

I'm sure that I'm. I'm sure there's some cheaper checkaway's going.

[Melissa]

Nope, I haven't found one cheaper.

[Rodney Ho]

I mean, I've got the lowest moral standards of anyone in this room. And I'm offended by that. I mean, I don't know what's worse. I mean, the fact that you would key someone's car, like, really bothers me. But then the fact that this guy would blackmail you for. I mean, if I found a woman that keyed my car, I'd rather smack her upside the head than sleep with her.

[Caller]

Yeah, he gets some pleasure out of it. But you know, the worst part is it wasn't even. Like, I was so drunk. I didn't even, like, deliberately pee it. I like, swooped my arm across it.

[Melissa]

It's no wonder why women are falling over themselves to get to you. I'd rather smack her on the head.

[Jeff]

Than sleep with her. Than sleep with her.

[Caller]

I would have preferred that, Ashley.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

If I were you, I would just apply to dude stations.

[Rodney Ho]

Dude, that was taking a moral stance on that.

[Melissa]

That was your moral stance. I'd rather hit her.

[Rodney Ho]

No, I don't. I'm not saying I'd rather. What I'm saying is, I can't believe the guy. Like, I wouldn't sleep with somebody that keyed my car. I'd be really upset with them.

[Melissa]

You'd think so, right? That's pretty standard. Yeah.

[Rodney Ho]

I'm telling you, I wouldn't blackmail anybody and you're getting on my case?

[Jeff]

No.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, I think it was more the beginning of women slap her in the head than I would take the money.

[Rodney Ho]

Well, I'm not advocating violence against women. Let's not turn that into ass.

[Melissa]

Suzanne, you too are on the voice disguiser. Not your real name. How are you?

[Caller]

I'm fine. How are you?

[Melissa]

That's gonna be a tough call to beat, I gotta tell you.

[Caller]

No, no. My situation was I went to Padawa City on spring break with a roommate of mine from college, and I'm not a drinker. And we got tore up every single day that we were there. And I actually slept with somebody on the trip, somebody from my college. And she knew about it because it was in the same room that we were all in. Well, when we came back, I had already been engaged to someone else.

[Jeff]

Oops.

[Caller]

And when we came back, she wanted to take me all the time to her hometown of Louisiana. And I would say no because she wanted me to hook up with her cousin. And I kept saying no. When we came back from the trip, she had this over me and she kept saying, I'm going to take you on this trip to Louisiana, and if you don't go, I'm going to tell. So I ended up going and was forced to hook up with somebody else while there. So I hooked up with somebody twice. And both times he never found out about it. And she, to this day, still blaspheming me about it. Even when we were moving out, she took all of my clothing, underwear, everything. And I was going to call the cop, and she wrote me a letter telling me, I cannot call the cops because if you do, I am going to tell.

[Melissa]

What's up, Melissa?

[Bert]

I just want to ask her just to define force to hook up with somebody in Louisiana. Like, you took the trip down there with your roommate and what is forced to hook up with him?

[Jessica]

She was blackmailed into it.

[Bert]

This blackmail was part of that, too, right?

[Caller]

Definitely. I did not like the person, but he liked me from previous visits and he wanted to get together with me. And for some reason, she thought it was a good idea and that we would be friends, we would start dating or something. And she forced me to go down there and she said, you have to. And so I did. And I thought that would be the end of it, but it certainly didn't turn out that way.

[Melissa]

So you had to have sex with this person?

[Caller]

Yes, I did.

[Rodney Ho]

She's the lowest paid whore in Atlanta. The other girl was at least getting 40 bucks a pop.

[Melissa]

She's the. You got nothing. Thank you. All right, last call here. Voice disguiser. Not your real name. Good morning, Melanie. Hi.

[Caller]

How are y'?

[Jessica]

All?

[Melissa]

Good, thank you.

[Caller]

Well, I was a sophomore in college, and I had been dating this guy for a year that my parents absolutely spiced him, and that was probably half the reason that I was dating him. After a year, he started turning a little crazy. But before that year, we had made a date together. Well, needless to say, my parents found out that I was still dating, and they threatened to cut me off. And they were my only. Well, I had a job, but they were my only real financial support to pay my way through school. I had not saved any money or anything like that. And so he found out that they wanted me to stop seeing him. And he said if I did not, If I stopped seeing him, if we broke it off, that he was going to send my parents to tape. Oh, whoa.

[Melissa]

Stakes are high.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Caller]

Needless to say, I had a friend in the police department, and I had a lookout, and I broke into his apartment and stole the tape.

[Melissa]

Oh, wow.

[Caller]

Prayed to God that it was the only copy.

[Melissa]

And was it the only copy?

[Caller]

It hasn't turned up so far.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Wow.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Jeff]

You know what? Remember that when you have stress in your life, at least there's not a chance that someone's gonna send a tape of you having sex with someone to your mom and dad.

[Melissa]

Oh, think about that.

[Jeff]

Whatever's stressing you out. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.

[Melissa]

Could there be anything worse than that? And then you. You break into the house and get the tape. It's like, right out of a movie.

[Caller]

Well, there's nothing worse than having your parents think, well, first of all, they hated him anyway. And then for them to know that you're having sex and then to actually see it. There's nothing worse I can think of.

[Melissa]

No, there could be nothing more uncomfortable than that. You're right. Thank you for calling, Jeff.

[Bert]

Did you get any ideas?

[Jeff]

Yeah, apparently I don't need a trench coat and manila envelopes, but I do need a cousin in Louisiana.

[Melissa]

The first show.

[Podcast Advertiser]

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