The Bert Show – Vault: Is This Statistic True About Women?
Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode Title: Vault: Is This Statistic True About Women?
Release Date: January 6, 2026
Main Hosts: Bert (absent in this episode), Jeff, and the regular cast
Summary Prepared by: Podcast Summarizer AI
Episode Overview
This episode dives into a cheeky and candid discussion about an eyebrow-raising statistic found in Bert's infamous “show binder”: “9 out of 100 women have a toy in their car.” The hosts tackle this stat head-on with their trademark blend of humor, authenticity, and real listener interaction. The conversation explores comfort, stress relief, social taboos, and gender double standards, all with spirited insights from the show's cast and callers.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Bert’s Binder: The Well of Taboo Topics
- [01:32–03:14]
- The hosts detail how Bert’s binder is the source for much of the show’s content and contains years’ worth of conversation starters—some forgotten or cryptic.
- When Bert travels, he sometimes leaves behind only a digital list, leaving the rest of the crew scavenging for topical gold.
The Controversial Statistic
- [03:14–03:49]
- One binder entry stands out: “Statistic – 9 out of 100 women have a toy in their car with them.”
- Initial reactions range from skepticism to playful belief:
- Co-host: “No, I believe it.” [03:35]
- Host: “That’s 10%—that's finished.” [03:36]
- Discussion of modern lifestyle, stress, and the search for brief respites leads to agreement that “it is healthy for those nine women out of the hundred.” [03:55, Co-host 1]
Encouraging Listener Participation
- [03:52–04:12]
- “The challenge is going to be getting someone to admit it.” [04:03, Host]
- Assurance of anonymity: “We got the voice disguiser.” [04:06, Co-host 1]
Jeff’s Church Bus Anecdote
- [04:12–05:43]
- Jeff recalls as a teen on a choir tour, he and a bus full of kids witness a woman self-pleasuring in her car, bringing up the subject of public behavior and shock value.
Callers Weigh In
Caller: Stephanie
- [05:47–07:20]
- Admits to being one of the “nine out of 100”;
- Keeps a toy in her purse, which goes everywhere with her;
- Uses it “probably two or three” days out of the workweek, usually on the way home.
- Cleaning and hygiene addressed: “I don't think they're leaving them in there, because if they do, that's just nasty.” [06:49, Stephanie]
Classic Gender Double Standard Raised
- [11:10–11:18]
- Dana: “What if a man were to do this in traffic or at the bathroom at work? He’d be considered quite the perv.”
- Hosts agree and discuss the legal, social perspectives.
Officer Eric’s Perspective
- [07:27–08:33]
- Police traffic stop story: Female driver hides a foot-long marble toy.
- “Show me your hands!” leads to a surprise revelation; jokes about whether “she got off.”
- Host: “Once she showed you that, did she get off?” [08:21, Host]
- Officer: “I think she did before she showed it to me.” [08:26, Officer Eric]
Shay: Work & Road Realities
- [08:46–09:38]
- “Mini pocket rocket” for topical use kept at work, not for use in the car;
- Humor about flexibility and size: “I’m a big girl, flex can’t just be gone everywhere, you know.” [09:22, Shay]
Amanda: Sales Pro’s Insight
- [09:49–10:23]
- Pure Romance consultant: Sells “micro Vibro keychain”—10–15 per party.
- “They put them on their keys... drive down the road, do whatever they want, fix their headaches.” [10:07, Amanda]
Jane: Motherhood & Practicality
- [10:31–10:58]
- Admits to having used a toy in the car—previously, but not now due to kids;
- Finds it a stress reliever during traffic;
- Host concern: “What if you get rear-ended?” [10:49, Host]
Gender & Social Double Standards
- The discussion (and callers) pivot to the double standard of men versus women engaging in similar behaviors.
- Dana: “If a man were to do this... he'd be considered quite the perv.” [11:10]
- Co-hosts note public behavior laws, discretion, and the social lens.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Co-host 1: “In today’s society, in Atlanta, society today, I think it is healthy for those nine women out of the hundred.” [03:55]
- Jeff: “As a 15, 16 year old, I don’t know how old I was. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my time.” [05:30]
- Stephanie (Caller): “Probably two or three [days a week].” [06:22]
- Officer Eric: “She reaches down underneath her seat, pulled out one about a foot long and marble.” [08:13]
- Amanda (Pure Romance Consultant): “We sell a micro Vibro keychain. And I sell—every party—I sell at least ten to fifteen of those.” [10:03]
- Dana (Caller): “If a man were to do this in traffic or at the... bathroom at work, he’d be considered quite the perv.” [11:10]
- Host: “I don’t know. The whole thing—it should all be illegal in the car.” [11:51]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 01:32 — Show’s creative process and Bert’s binder
- 03:14 — Introduction of the “9 out of 100” statistic
- 03:52 — Voicing skepticism, inviting anonymous callers
- 04:12 — Jeff’s choir bus story and the first public self-love anecdote
- 05:47–07:20 — Stephanie’s candid confessions about carrying and using a toy
- 07:27–08:33 — Officer Eric’s law enforcement perspective and traffic stop story
- 08:46–09:38 — Shay on workplace stress relief and logistics
- 09:49–10:23 — Pure Romance consultant on keychain sales and prevalence
- 10:31–10:58 — Jane’s perspective on motherhood and past car use
- 11:10–11:59 — Gender double standards and “pervs” conversation
Episode Tone and Takeaways
True to The Bert Show’s ethos, the conversation remains honest, humorous, and unapologetically frank. The episode spotlights how people handle personal comfort and stress, the realities of modern commutes, and the ways society treats men and women differently for engaging in similar activities. Listeners and hosts alike bring curiosity, laughs, and a matter-of-fact attitude, making for a disarming, fun, and subtly thought-provoking morning show experience.