The Bert Show – Vault: Is This True About Senior Citizen Homes?

Date: February 17, 2026
Episode Theme:
The Bert Show investigates the longstanding urban myth about rampant sexual activity in senior citizen homes—specifically, the Sunrise Senior Living facility in Atlanta—by swapping stories, fielding calls from insiders, and seeking the truth behind the rumors.

Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, the hosts open up the phone lines and share personal theories to explore whether senior living communities, and specifically Sunrise Senior Living in Atlanta, are hotbeds of sexual activity among older adults. The show sets out to separate fact from fiction with both humor and genuine curiosity, hoping to confirm or debunk the rumors that Atlanta’s retirement homes see more action than college dorms.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Atlanta’s “Snopes” Moment: The Urban Legend (02:00-03:34)

• Host B sets the stage: “I would like to either find out if this is fact or urban myth… Our version of Snopes, local Snopes.”
• Question posed: Is Sunrise Senior Living in Buckhead known for having more sexual activity among residents than a fraternity or sorority house?
• Anecdotes: The hosts joke about whether the facility has “male and female floors” or whether senior facilities really work like college dorms.

Senior Living vs. Nursing Homes Explained (03:35-04:05)

• Host C clarifies the difference:

  “If you are still active and you don’t need round the clock care, then it’s usually considered a senior living facility. If you need nursing care, that’s a nursing home.”
  (03:44-04:05)

Social Structures in Senior Facilities (04:06-05:46)

• The hosts speculate:
  • Senior homes have cliques and reputations, much like high school or college.
  • There could be “the skank,” “the goody-goody,” “the player” even among seniors.
  • Host B:

    “I am absolutely sure it doesn’t get senior. It’s no different… There’s always the skank. There’s always the goody-goody. There’s, you know, the dude that’s the player. I bet it’s no different.” (04:43-04:47)

• The group riff about what “checking in” as a new resident would feel like, including warnings to “stay away from Harry, he’s not clean.”

Callers Share First-Hand Experiences

STD Outbreaks in Retirement Communities (05:59-06:40)

• Caller F (parent in Florida retirement community):

  “It had the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases in the country. All the seniors, they can’t get pregnant, so they’re having unprotected sex.” (05:59-06:15)

Unexpected Use of Bananas (07:21-08:08)

• Caller F, former nursing home employee:

  “We actually had to start cutting up the bananas for the old lady... We discovered they were using them for other means. We had to start cutting them up.” (07:21-08:02)

  • The hosts react with disbelief and jokes.

Confirmation from Executive Director (08:25-09:16)

• Caller F, executive director at a retirement community:

  “There’s a lot of sex going on. ... A lot of people live together, they meet there and then they move in the room together and they just kind of shack up.” (08:25-08:44)

  • Reports of “bruises falling out of bed” and “hyperventilating, having to call the paramedic” as occasional consequences of senior romance (08:51-09:02).
  • Clarifies: “We don’t discourage anything. We don’t encourage it, but we don’t discourage it. It’s their own apartment. They can do what they want.” (09:16-09:27)

Social Hierarchies and “Lovers’ Quarrels” (09:27-10:40)

• Executive director continues:

  “You have the popular girl, you have the click, which you have … people who have several boyfriends.” (09:37)

  • Occasional need to “console” residents after nasty breakups or lovers’ quarrels.
  • Jokes about age and memory loss lead to a brief discussion of dementia and appropriateness.

Voice-Disguised Confirmation from Sunrise Resident (10:47-12:42)

• Caller E (Amy), Sunrise resident:

  “I wouldn’t go that far, but I would say it is common and it does happen quite often.” (11:00-11:07)

  • On why: “Why would you want to lose that part of you just because you get older?” (11:13)
  • Describes Sunrise as “the cream of the crop for assisted living,” but can’t confirm if it sees more activity than others. (12:29-12:41)

Tales of “Crazy Lou” and Senior Casanovas (12:52-14:09)

• Caller F, former Atlanta retirement village worker:

  “We had a guy who called himself Crazy Lou. He had about seven or eight different girlfriends... and they were literally crazy about him.” (12:52-13:09)

  • Everyone knew about his multiple relationships, and another resident (104-year-old former vet) apparently made a spectacle of himself:

  “He would ride up and down the hallways buck naked, electric wheelchair. And ladies like it.” (14:03-14:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host C: “The sun’s not the only thing rising.” (05:10)
• Caller F (exec. director): “We, that we don’t discourage anything. We don’t encourage it, but we don’t discourage it. So it’s their own apartment. They can do what they want.” (09:16)
• Host B: “There’s a whole bunch of 24 year olds listening right now going, I know where my next apartment’s gonna be.” (06:45)
• Host D: “Hazel will take out her teeth if you ask her.” (07:15)
• Caller E (Amy): “They’re still young, they’re kids at heart and they enjoy what they do … we don’t prohibit it either.” (11:15)
• Caller F (Atlanta Retirement Village): “He had about seven or eight different girlfriends, would go from room to room to room all day and all night, and they were literally crazy about him.” (12:54)
• On “Crazy Lou’s” dementia: “His wife had passed and her name is Eleanor. And he had three girlfriends named Eleanor.” (13:19)

Segment Timestamps for Key Moments

• Investigating the rumor / Urban legend setup – 02:00–04:05
• Senior living vs. nursing home distinction – 03:35–04:05
• Joking about ‘high school’ social structures – 04:06–05:46
• STD outbreak in retirement communities – 05:59–06:40
• Banana anecdote and reactions – 07:21–08:08
• Retirement community director’s confirmation – 08:25–09:27
• Discussion about dementia and appropriateness – 10:04–10:40
• Voice-disguised Sunrise resident confirmation – 10:47–12:42
• ‘Crazy Lou’ legacy & more stories – 12:52–14:09

Summary Takeaways

• The myth of senior homes being hotbeds of sexual activity is at the very least partly true, with evidence from both professionals and residents indicating that sexuality does not fade with age.
• Senior communities, much like college dorms, develop their own social hierarchies and cliques—including the notorious “player.”
• Most facilities—especially “nice” ones like Sunrise—do not discourage relationships among consenting residents, drawing a distinct line only when dementia or appropriateness comes into play.
• The stories—ranging from banana mishaps to “Crazy Lou”—suggest that older adults, freed from many youthful inhibitions, often pursue romance and relationships with gusto.
• The ultimate verdict: While Sunrise may not necessarily be wilder than any other senior facility, senior living communities can be lively, drama-filled places where age is no barrier to fun, connection, or love.

Tone:
Light-hearted, irreverent, and very real, mirroring The Bert Show’s blend of humor and authenticity throughout the conversation.
Usefulness:
This episode will surprise and amuse, but also inform listeners about the social dynamics and very real relationship drama found in senior living communities.