Vault: Is your password actually safe?

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault — Is Your Password Actually Safe?

Date: July 10, 2026
Host(s): Bert Show Cast (Host, Melissa, Jen, Wendy, Lady Luck, Bretzky)

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Episode Overview

This lively Bert Show "Vault" segment delivers a humorous but eye-opening exploration of digital password safety. The cast discusses how easy (or hard) it is for hackers to crack different types of passwords, uncovers the real risks of common password habits, and shares practical advice—with a dose of fun banter—on creating stronger, safer passwords. It’s an episode that turns a potentially dry tech topic into an engaging and often surprising conversation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Easy Is It To Hack Your Password? (01:30 – 07:12)

• Host's Challenge: The host asks everyone to think of one of their passwords, count the characters, and note if it's all lowercase, numeric, or otherwise.

  • "All I want you to do is think about the password you guys have… When you have your passwords on your computer, do you use like one password for multiple sites?" — Host (01:39)

• Password Length & Complexity Effects:

  • Short, simple passwords (all lowercase/numbers) are easily hackable.
  • Adding capitals, numbers, or symbols significantly boosts security.
  • Real-time examples using the cast's own password lengths:
    • 6 characters, all lowercase: can be hacked in five minutes.
    • 7 characters, all lowercase: 2.2 hours to hack.
    • 10 characters, all lowercase: 4.5 years to crack.
    • Adding even one capital letter or symbol increases resistance massively; a 6-character password with a symbol or capital jumps to 8.5 days, 7 characters to 2.5 years, 10 to 2,000 years.
  • "It would take a hacker five minutes to hack your password and get into your account." — Host (02:57)
  • "Wendy, you said yours are six characters. Yours would go from five minutes to eight and a half days if you just put one capital letter in there or one symbol." — Host (04:36)
  • "Jen, yours would go from four and a half years to two millennia if you added a capital letter or a symbol." — Host (05:02)

• Brute Force Attacks Explained:

  • Hackers use computer programs to try every combination of letters, numbers, and symbols until they find the right one. These programs require no specialized knowledge and are widely available online.
  • "They would use a program. It's called a brute force attack... and an average computer running on a high-speed internet connection would be 5.15 minutes." — Host (03:04)

2. Common Password Mistakes & Vulnerabilities (05:15 – 06:22)

• Many people use:
  • Names (partner, child, pet)
  • Years/dates of birth, significant numbers (like last digits of Social, phone, etc.)
  • Simple sequences (e.g., “1234”)
  • Words like “password,” “love,” “money,” “god,” or “letmein”
• Programs designed to crack passwords often try these first.
• "If your password is your partner's name, your child's name, your pet's name, any of those followed by a 0 or a 1... you fall into the same category as 20% of the population." — Host (05:34)

3. The Psychology (and Annoyance) Behind Secure Passwords (06:32 – 06:56)

• People struggle to remember more complex, secure passwords, hence the popularity of simpler, easily cracked options.
• Many websites now force strong password requirements, which may feel inconvenient but are ultimately protective.
• "I remember they made me choose a password that had a capital letter in it and like multiple numbers. And I was so annoyed because I had the same password I used for everything else. And now that I read this, I’m like... they're smart." — Host (06:37)

4. Tips for a Stronger Password (Throughout)

• Use longer passwords (10+ characters).
• Mix uppercase, lowercase, symbols, and numbers.
• Avoid names/dates/words easily associated with you.
• Randomness is key for security—even if remembering becomes a challenge.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "You're gonna get naked." — Melissa jokes to break up the seriousness (01:38)
• "If you have letter N number combinations, is it harder?" — Jen asks for clarification (04:13)
• "Wendy, you said yours are six characters. Yours would go from five minutes to eight and a half days if you just put one capital letter in there or one symbol." — Host (04:36)
• "I'm going to go through and change them today." — Jen, inspired to update all her passwords (05:10)

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• 01:30 – 03:25: Password length demonstrations and hack times
• 03:26 – 04:36: How brute force attacks work, adding complexity to passwords
• 04:55 – 06:22: The most common, vulnerable password habits and why they’re risky
• 06:32 – 06:56: Personal anecdotes about switching to more secure passwords

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Simple or familiar passwords are an open door to hackers.
• A single capital letter or symbol can multiply your digital security.
• Don’t use personal info, common words, or simple patterns.
• Update your passwords—right now!

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Final Note

The Bert Show brings technical, sometimes anxiety-inducing password advice to life with playful energy, relatable stories, and a little bit of self-deprecating humor. You’ll definitely finish this episode checking your own password habits.

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For detailed lists and password tips referenced in the show, visit the Bert Show's website.

Transcript

[Wendy]

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[Lady Luck]

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[Bretzky]

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[Host (possibly Birch)]

The Birch Show I am going to scare every single person listening and everyone in the studio.

[Jen]

Really?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yes.

[Wendy]

With what?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

All I want you to do is.

[Melissa]

You're gonna get naked.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah. No, you're not that lucky. All you have to do is think about the password you guys have. When you have your passwords on your computer, do you use like one password for multiple sites? Like you have one that's maybe more common than others? I do.

[Melissa]

I do. Because my memory's so bad that if you log into so many different things, I tend to or variations of a similar password.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Okay. So take the password that you have and think of it and just make a note. How many characters it is common one

[Jen]

or any of them.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Just pick a password that you don't want people to have. Okay, so how many characters are in the word. So if Your password is snow, that's four characters. If it's snow404, that's seven characters.

[Melissa]

Can you write this down?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You don't have to just have it in your head how many characters it is.

[Lady Luck]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

And then whether or not your password is uppercase or lowercase.

[Jen]

Okay, okay.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

All right.

[Jen]

What if it's no case?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

It has to be one case.

[Jen]

Lowercase or uppercase? If it's a number password.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Oh, then I.

[Jen]

If it's all numbers.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah. Then it's lowercase. So, Wendy, how many characters Is your password?

[Wendy]

6.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

And is it all lowercase or all numbers?

[McDonald's Announcer]

All.

[Jen]

All lowercase and all numbers.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

It would take a hacker five minutes.

[Jen]

Whoa.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

To hack your password and get into your account.

[Jen]

How so?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

They would use a program. It's called a brute force attack. And they're programs you can get for free on the Internet. And the program would just guess repeatedly words and number combinations and just launch them at your account until it gets through. And an average computer running on a high speed Internet connection would be 5.15 minutes.

[Jen]

And it has nothing to do with Wendy or the numbers that are significant in her life?

[Bretzky]

Nope.

[Jen]

It's just the amount of.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yes, they actually. Okay, well, and then, Melissa, yours.

[Melissa]

It's almost like cheating. Like they're using a program to hack. Like, you can't brag about that. If you're the. If you're the person that created that program, you can brag, but if you're just applying. Yeah, you're a lazy hacker. 7.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

7, lowercase, all lowercase. 2.2 hours.

[Melissa]

A little longer than five minutes.

[Jen]

Dang. Jen changed my pass. 10.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yours is 10 characters long and all lowercase or upper and lower?

[Jen]

All lowercase.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Four and a half years. Oh, so yours is safer.

[Jen]

Four and a half years.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yep. Now I will tell you, Wendy, yours. It's.

[Jen]

And here's the other question I have. I'm sorry.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah.

[Jen]

If you have letter N number combinations, is it harder?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yes, it's more difficult.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

Because I think I read that somewhere that it's better if you have numbers and letters combo.

[Melissa]

Well, some things that you log into

[Jen]

only makes sense to you.

[Melissa]

It gives you the. It says weak or strong. Like, I'm trying to think of some sites where it tells you if it's a good one or not.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

The best passwords will contain either one capital letter or a symbol. You Know like the at symbol or the number sign or something like that. And this is how it improve your password. Wendy, you said yours are six characters. Yours would go from five minutes to eight and a half days if you just put one capital letter in there or one symbol.

[Melissa]

Really? So most people use lowercase?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yep. Melissa, yours would go from two and a half hours to two and a half years.

[Melissa]

Wow. Okay.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Jen, yours would go from four and a half years to two millennia if

[Jen]

I added a capital letter.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

A capital letter or a symbol.

[Jen]

That's so smart. Now I'm go through and change them today.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

This list right here. Ready?

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

See if we have it where. Okay, I'll do this list real quickly so we can get it.

[Jen]

You know who this applies to? Even more than our generation, because I'm not as freaked out by, you know, doing operations online or whatever, but our parents are totally freaked out. Anytime I get some sort of hacker warning or, you know, something like that, it's from. It's from my parents.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Now don't. You obviously don't admit anyone in this room if this is your password until you have a chance to change it. But this hacker guy says that if your password is your partner's name, your child's name, your pet's name, any of those followed by a 0 or a 1, the last four digits of your Social Security number, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 1, 2, 3, 4th, 5, 6, your city, your college, or your football team name, your date of birth, your partner's date of birth, or one of your children's date of birth, or any of the following words, Password, God, money, love, or let me in, all as one word. Then you fall into the same category as 20% of the population. And there are programs that will search for that information and generate it. And one out of five accounts, they get in with that.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jen]

You're kidding.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

So I'll put all this information up online.

[Jen]

It needs to be completely random.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yes.

[Melissa]

The problem is people forget that most people use those because they remember it.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

And I remember, remember I started was like three years. I think I've been working with Georgia's own credit union.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

And I remember they made me choose a password that had a capital letter in it and like multiple numbers. And I was so annoyed because I had the same password I used for everything else. And I was like, oh, come on, I'm never going to remember this. And now that I read this, I'm like, they're smart. They're smart. After reading this, I went back and changed other accounts to be more in line with what they do.

[Jen]

And so is this the same thing, that hackers are running the same program or are there a bunch of different kinds of programs?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

There's multiple versions of the same program that you can download.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jen]

Wow. Going to have to change some passwords.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Freak you out.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that'll totally freak. Five minutes, Wendy. Five minute, Wendy.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

The Birch show what's up everybody?

[Bretzky]

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[Bretzky]

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