Vault: It's a bad day for The Bert Show

Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: It's a Bad Day for The Bert Show” (July 30, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode captures a candid and humorous conversation among The Bert Show cast as they recount real-life car trouble, mechanical mishaps, and a wider existential worry—have practical skills, like changing a tire or jumping a car battery, become a lost art? The episode sways between direct confessions, audience calls, and group banter, highlighting a "bad day" that soon turns into a hilarious clinic on lost car knowledge, probing what it means to be “manly” through the lens of auto maintenance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Flat Tire Fiasco & Car Maintenance Confessions

• Bert and Michael discuss a dramatic flat tire incident involving Jen, who apparently drove a significant distance on a bare rim before help arrived.

  • Bert (00:39): "Is it really like it blew up on crashed?"
  • Michael (00:47): "Oh my God. There’s no rubber left on the tire."
  • Jen's experience becomes a reference point for a broader discussion on who knows how to actually fix basic car problems.

• Bert confesses to never having changed a tire or even a car battery despite seeing it done and having the tools.

  • Bert (02:13): "I swear I’ve never changed a battery. I never changed a battery."
  • Bert (02:20): "I have cables, but I’ve never physically put them on the battery."
  • Carl (02:09): "You’ve never changed a tire before. For real, man."
  • The hosts and callers good-naturedly rib Bert, questioning his "man card."

2. Gender, Expectations, and Lost Skills

• The team floats between critiquing societal gender expectations and lamenting that basic car skills aren’t as universal anymore.

  • Jeff (02:51): "I am surprised as a guy because...parents are a little biased when it comes to teaching their kids about cars...But at least I do think it’s very important to know how to change."
  • Kathy (08:05): "My parents made sure that I knew how to change tires before I could even get my driver’s license."

• Bert shares a story from his past: when his Jeep broke down, his then-girlfriend Stacy got under the hood while he sat in the car—an inversion of classic gender roles that still draws laughs.

  • Bert (03:52): "Stacy gets underneath the hood...while I’m, like, sitting on the trunk. Sitting in the car."
  • Carl (04:09): "That’s violation, man. That’s violence. I’m about to pull your card right now."

3. Who Saves the Day? AAA, the Hero Truck, and Call-In Culture

• The conversation underscores reliance on roadside assistance (AAA) and, in Jen’s case, Atlanta’s “hero truck”—a free, quick-response unit for highway emergencies.

  • Bert (05:23): "Someone’s got to even explain to me what the hero truck is."
  • Unidentified Male Caller (05:26): "The hero trucks are those big yellow vehicles that drive on the highways all the time...if you call the number, they're there in two seconds."

• Frustration with AAA's response time is contrasted with the hero truck’s speed. Listeners call in with similar experiences and war stories.

4. Callers’ Stories: Men and Women on Automotive Know-How (or Lack Thereof)

• Ali (05:49): Tells the story of a woman stranded trying to jump her car at a gas station—and how multiple men refused to help either due to ignorance or reluctance to get dirty.

  • Ali (06:17): "She asked, like, maybe about 15, 10 guys, and none of them knew how to jump a car up."
  • Ali (06:43): "I was like, man, this is the state of men today..."

• Kathy (07:19): Shares her experience as a school teacher in dress clothes, forced to change a tire herself after a would-be helper didn’t know where to find the jack.

  • Kathy (08:13): "I changed it all by myself, yeah."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (03:17): “[You] know how to change a tire? No, but I know this stuff is in the trunk. A car? No, but I have cable.”
• Michael (01:57): "The hero truck is there and Brandon is there, so I'm not getting dirty."
• Carl (04:09): "That's violation, man. That's violence. I'm about to pull your card right now."
• Ali (06:34): "One guy said, 'I'm not getting dirty,' you know, so."
• Jeff (06:59): "I wish we should eventually, another time, take calls from women who've been stranded on the side of the road and count how many guys pass by that didn't stop to help."

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:20 – 01:15: The story opens with Jen’s destroyed tire and the hero truck’s rescue.
• 01:54 – 02:41: Carl joins, teasing Bert about his lack of mechanical know-how.
• 03:21 – 04:15: Bert’s infamous Jeep breakdown story and gender roles in car repair.
• 05:00 – 05:19: Jen’s frustration with AAA and the hero truck’s quick response.
• 05:47 – 06:43: Ali calls in with a tale of men unable or unwilling to help jump-start a car.
• 07:19 – 08:13: Kathy calls to describe her DIY tire change in professional attire and the generational transmission of car knowledge.

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Tone & Flow

The episode is lively and self-deprecating, peppered with friendly teasing, nostalgic confessions, and wry observations on so-called "manly" skills. The crew and callers maintain an easy rapport, expertly mixing humor with genuine insight about the changing basics of adulthood.

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Summary

“Vault: It’s a Bad Day for The Bert Show” evolves from a simple car mishap into a spirited examination of practical know-how, social expectations, and the realities of modern adulting. From Bert’s sheepish admissions to listeners’ prideful (and exasperated) roadside tales, the episode delivers both laughter and a low-stakes crisis—reminding us that sometimes, being an adult is less about gender and more about being genuinely ready for life’s flat tires.

Transcript

[Bert]

It's the virtue. I didn't realize this, but Jeff had called in while we were on.

[Jeff]

Oh, did he?

[Kathy]

Okay,

[Ali]

virtual.

[Michael]

Hey, it's me again.

[Kathy]

Hi me.

[Bert]

We're here too.

[Jeff]

Hey you.

[Bert]

Are you long time listener, first time caller or what?

[Michael]

Oh, hey, how are you?

[Ali]

Good.

[Bert]

What's going on?

[Michael]

So I just posted. I'm on my way in. By the way, I just posted a picture of Jen's tire. Yeah, I tweeted it. She knows how to get a flat.

[Bert]

Is it really like it blew up on crashed?

[Michael]

No. I don't know, she must. She must have driven on that thing for. I don't know. She drove back from Florida yesterday. Right. There's a chance that she got a flat tire in making is like the

[Bert]

rim all jacked up.

[Michael]

Oh my God. There's no rubber left on the tire.

[Bert]

Oh really? It's that bad?

[Unidentified Male Caller]

Oh boy.

[Michael]

Insane.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

I'm glad she's okay then. Yeah, he's driving that long on a

[Jeff]

flat tire explode or anything.

[Michael]

The hero truck is there and Brandon is there, so I'm not getting dirty.

[Bert]

Would you even know how to change a tire if you had to right now?

[Michael]

Hell yeah, I would not.

[Jeff]

You would not?

[Bert]

Yeah, no, I know the stuff is in the trunk and I've seen people do it, but I've actually never gone and done it myself.

[Jeff]

So Jeff, what you're saying is that the tire was already kind of bald. She must have driven on it.

[Michael]

Oh no, I'm saying that whatever. However it happened and she was explaining,

[Jeff]

but she just kept driving on it.

[Michael]

Yeah, she said she was in the far left lane and it went. And she didn't really know it went. But where do you see the picture? I mean it's like. It's like the stuff you see during a NASCAR race.

[Bert]

I just like completely exploded.

[Michael]

Yes. I mean it's shredded. So I don't know who called the hero truck, if that was Jen or if it was Carl who did it on her behalf, but I mean, he was there 60 seconds after I got there.

[Bert]

Wow, that fast?

[Jeff]

Awesome.

[Bert]

Here's Carl. What's up, Carl?

[Carl]

Yeah, I call the hero truck. Bert, man, come on, man.

[Bert]

You know I've seen it done.

[Carl]

Come on now. I talk about guys like you.

[Bert]

I know, dude. I think I could do it because I've seen it. D cuz I've seen it done.

[Carl]

You've never changed a tire before. You've never.

[Kathy]

Stop.

[Carl]

For real, man. You've never changed a tire before.

[Bert]

I've never changed a tire.

[Kathy]

You got to be Kidding me.

[Bert]

I swear I've never changed a battery. I never changed a battery.

[Carl]

The oil did a jump.

[Bert]

I have cables, but I've never physically put them on the battery.

[Jeff]

Now, Carl, did you hear earlier how he was all, like, being all like, oh, I'm too much of a man to go see Mary? That's when you can't change the stuff.

[Carl]

Now I know why.

[Bert]

Yeah, my parents made me take, like, an introductory car automo, like, a car maintenance class when I was, like, 16 years old before I got my license. So I went for, like, the three weeks, and I did everything there. So it's somewhere in my head, but I've never actually had to go and do it.

[Jeff]

I am surprised as a guy because, I mean, I do think parents are a little biased when it comes to teaching their kids about cars, you know, like my family. You know, my sister probably knows more about cars than the rest of us, but. But at least I do. I do think it's very important to know how to change.

[Bert]

It's totally true, man. I got one worse for you.

[Michael]

I do love Birch justification for everything. Like, you know how to change a tire? No, but I know this stuff is in the trunk. A car? No, but I have cable.

[Bert]

I don't think I could jump a car today, but I do think that I could change my tire. Here's another one for you, Carla.

[Carl]

Right.

[Bert]

If you're already starting to lose respect for me, I've already told these guys a story. I had an old Jeep wrangler back in the day. Like, an old red Jeep Wrangler. It was, like, jacked.

[Jeff]

It's a man car.

[Bert]

Manly car. Like, no doors on the side, Soft top. Yeah. Man's car.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Bert]

Stacy and I are driving home from a party one one day, and the Jeep breaks down. And I don't know what's underneath the hood. I've never had my dad teach me

[Ali]

how to help me.

[Carl]

I gotta go.

[Ali]

It's worse.

[Bert]

Stacy gets underneath the hood. Underneath. It's on her back. Your girl is underneath the Jeep, on the side of the road while I'm, like, sitting on the trunk. Sitting in the car.

[Michael]

Oh, no.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

That'll make you feel manly.

[Carl]

Oh, no.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Carl]

That's violation, man. That's violence. I'm about to pull your car right now.

[Michael]

Bird knows how to change the tire. Isn't it 1, 800 AAA 1, 2, 3, 4. Something like that.

[Bert]

I'm not gonna lie to you. If I've ever had a busted tire, I've called aaa. Yeah. Or I've Just ridden on it long enough to get to a Shell station. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Carl]

Wow.

[Bert]

I don't see you getting your hands dirty either.

[Michael]

Yeah, you know, didn't you know where Jen was pulled over? Because I think you sent Brandon, didn't you, Carl?

[Bert]

I did not know. And somebody. Who? Carl or me?

[Jeff]

He said, Carl.

[Bert]

Oh, Carl.

[Jeff]

Carl said.

[Ali]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Carl said.

[Bert]

He sent. He sent the hero truck.

[Michael]

Even though I'm going at himself, Carl's like, oh, come on, man. You don't know how to change a tire. Hey, Brandon, go change a tire.

[Bert]

All right, so you're gonna be in what time you think?

[Michael]

I'm actually pulling in the parking lot right now. She's only, like, two exits away.

[Bert]

Oh, really? Okay. Was she pretty freaked out? Is she pretty frazzled?

[Michael]

No, she was fine. I think she was annoyed, actually, because she was on hold with Triple A and nobody picked up. She was at the entire time. Like, the minute I called Carl to tell him that I was gonna be late, he's like, well, is Jen near you? And told me where she was. I said, all right, I'll go by that whole time, she was on the hole with AAA until I got there, until she was still on hold when I left. She hung up when the hero truck got there.

[Jeff]

But it's a great plug for the hero truck because the hero truck was right there.

[Bert]

So someone's got to even explain to me what the hero truck is.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

The hero trucks are those big yellow vehicles that drive on the highways all the time, but if you call the number, they're there in two seconds.

[Jeff]

I guess they're for people, like, you know, you don't know how to change tire. Not just. Yeah, you run out of gas, jump. You jump the car off.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

If you don't want to wait on hold for triple A that you pay for and get something for free.

[Bert]

All right, Jeff, we'll see in a couple seconds.

[Michael]

Bye. Bye. Bye.

[Bert]

Here's Ali.

[Ali]

Good Morning.

[Bert]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[Ali]

Hey, what's up, bro? So how y' all doing today?

[Bert]

What's going on, dude?

[Ali]

All right, man. I was at quit trip one one weekend, and this lady, she was like, like, maybe, like, 45, and she was trying to get her car jumped off, and she said she was at the quick trip for, like, 25 minutes for anyone to help her jump a car. She said she asked, like, maybe about 15, 10 guys, and none of them knew how to jump a car up. And she had her own jumper tables.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Ali]

And she was Like, I Like, are you serious? Like, no one knew. They're like, don't you have aaa? She's like, no, I got jumper cables. I just don't know how to put them on. And luckily, you know, I was there, and I jumped off, and she said. One guy said, I'm not getting dirty, you know, so.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

Now I can understand if you didn't know how to do it, because you could do some. I mean, it could be bad if you put the two cables on wrong, but to not want to get dirty.

[Bert]

Come on.

[Ali]

Yeah, it was horrible. You know, I was like, man, this is the state of men today. Like, hey, I hate to say it, but, you know, it's like people don't even to jump time and jump a car off, you know, change the tire. I'm like, these are some basic men stuff. You should know.

[Bert]

I know. You're right. I should.

[Jeff]

I think. I wish we should eventually, another time, take calls from women who've been stranded on the side of the road and count how many guys pass by that didn't stop to help.

[Bert]

Well, it's a manly thing, too. Like, you're supposed to know how to do this. So rather than stop and feel like a wuss, and you just probably keep on driving. Hey, Kathy. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Kathy]

Hey, Bert, I did not realize that that was you with me the other day when I had a flat tire. And I want to give props to Uncle Carl for calling hero. Good for him. But no, the other day, I was. I had a flat tire in my husband's truck. No doubt. And this guy pulls up. I'm in my dress clothes. I'm a school teacher. I'm in my dress clothes. You know, he pulls up and has all workout clothes, and can I help? And I'm like, sure. He goes, well, where's the jack? I said, you know what? Never mind. I'll just do this myself.

[Bert]

So he couldn't go. He didn't even know it was in the trunk to go find it.

[Kathy]

Okay, well, in a truck, it's not in the trunk. It's behind the seat.

[Bert]

And you were so offended he wouldn't know was behind the seat, you just sent him on his way.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I'm like, dude, you don't even know where the. I mean, if you don't know where the jack is, are you gonna know how to change a tire?

[Bert]

Yeah, that could have been me.

[Kathy]

I mean, my parents made sure that I knew how to change tires before I could even get my driver's license.

[Bert]

So you did change it all by yourself, and you went on your way.

[Kathy]

I changed it all by myself, yeah.

[Bert]

Yeah, I just. I'm sorry.

[Jeff]

That's a little harsh, though. I don't think I would have known where Jack was in a truck.

[Bert]

Me neither.

[Jeff]

But anyway. But I guess the guy's supposed to know. She says behind the seat. Driver's seat.

[Bert]

Here's Michael. Hey, Michael. Good morning.

[Michael]

Good morning, guys. How y' all doing this morning?

[Bert]

Okay, sir. How are you?

[Michael]

I'm doing pretty good. Hey, Bert, if you need somebody to teach you or show you how to do to change a tire, man, I could show you how.

[Jeff]

I am pretty sure he's got women in the studio that can help him.

[Michael]

Dear Bird, show.