Vault: Jeff Calls Out Bert For Being A Dating Profiler

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault — Jeff Calls Out Bert For Being a Dating Profiler

Release Date: March 6, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Jeff, Cassie, and the Bert Show crew

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Episode Overview

In this engaging and humorous episode, the Bert Show tackles a provocative topic: Is it racial "profiling" to set someone up on a date based solely on their expressed preferences for marrying within their race or ethnicity? Specifically, Jeff accuses Bert of being a "dating racial profiler" when Bert considers setting up a friend who wants to marry only an Indian man with someone he suspects might be Indian—despite not knowing the guy very well. The team debates intention, context, and whether it’s okay to filter romantic setups along these lines, all while keeping things light, relatable, and full of witty banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Jeff’s Accusation: "Dating Racial Profiler"

• [01:10] Jeff: points out that Bert’s matchmaking rationale is questionable:

  “Called me a dating racial profiler.”
  Bert protests, but Jeff stands firm, suggesting that Bert is setting people up based on race rather than personal connection.

2. The Specific Scenario and Context

• [01:23] Bert: explains he knows a woman who openly says she’ll marry only an Indian man, even though she dates anyone:

  “She has made it known that she is going to marry a man of Indian descent.”

• Bert recently met a potentially eligible guy but isn’t sure of his heritage, and feels awkward about how to find out.

3. Is It Profiling? The Group Weighs In

• [02:15] Jeff:

  “You are setting… The only basis you have for setting the two of them up is their nationality.”

• Bert counters that he’s simply honoring his friend's stated preference, comparing it to setting someone up with a specific height or background.

• [03:14] Bert:

  “If she never made that statement at all…but she’s the one that came straight out and said, ‘I’m only gonna marry an Indian’ right?”

• The team debates: Is it different if it’s something the friend herself prioritizes? Or does it reduce people to their backgrounds?

4. Judging Compatibility: More than Just Background?

• [03:55] Jeff:

  “But I don’t think you would do it after only spending 30 minutes with him. And if you did, then I still think that’s profiling.”
  He makes the case that you need more personal knowledge before arranging a match.

• [04:11] Bert: admits,

  “Yeah, I guess it would be because he’s one of the few maybe Indian people I know…”

• [04:30] Cassie (implied): suggests,

  “Set him up anyways because she dates anybody so she can find out, which is a problem.”

5. Parallel Experiences & “One of Us” Phenomenon

• [05:16] Cassie (implied): draws a parallel to how people set up the only two lesbians they know, regardless of anything else but sexuality:

  “Funny you say that…if somebody knew one lesbian, they would think it’d be really cool to set me up with that one lesbian they know. Simply because we were lesbians…”

6. The Friends’ Real Issue: “Dibs” on the Dating Scene

• The conversation drifts to how the friend in question often “calls dibs” on non-Indian men at bars—much to the frustration of her other friends who wish she’d leave a few for them.

• [06:16] Bert:

  “So this woman is notorious for like calling dibs on guys in bars and she’s super hot.”

• [06:59] Cassie: jokes,

  “Honey, don’t bogart all the dudes.”

• [07:06] Jeff: humorously adds,

  “Just take the Indian guys. Yeah, look, if I see an Indian guy, you can have them.”

7. Listener Reactions and Broader Perspectives

• [07:19] Amanda (Caller):

  “I’m very proud of my background. So ask him, I’m sure he wouldn’t care. But then again, if you’re willing to date anybody, what happens if you fall in love with someone that’s not Indian?”

• [08:10] Cindy (Caller): claims you can often tell someone’s region by their last name and shares how her Indian friend can instantly identify backgrounds:

  “She can tell you exactly if he’s Indian, if he’s Hindi, if he’s Muslim, and what region he’s from. It’s very, very simple.”

8. Final Thoughts: Is This Love or Profiling?

• The team jokes about creative (if awkward) ways to find out someone’s background, poking fun at themselves and each other.

• [08:54] Bert:

  “I am bridging the gap for love, man. I’m a loving basketball.”

• [09:04] Jeff: proposes a tongue-in-cheek method:

  “Maybe what you should do is…take him to a deli, like a true kosher deli…then at the end go, let’s have lunch next week, but we’ll go to one of your restaurants.”

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Jeff (calling Bert out):

  “You are setting… The only basis you have for setting the two of them up is their nationality.” [02:15]

• Bert (rationalizing):

  “If she never made that statement at all… but she’s the one that came straight out and said, ‘I’m only gonna marry an Indian,’ right?” [03:14]

• Cassie (addressing dating “dibs”):

  “Honey, don’t bogart all the dudes.” [06:59]

• Jeff (parody matchmaker):

  “Just take the Indian guys. Yeah, look, if I see an Indian guy, you can have them.” [07:06]

• Bert (on his intentions):

  “I am bridging the gap for love, man. I’m a loving basketball.” [08:54]

• Cassie (on forced matchmaking):

  “Funny you say that…they would think it’d be really cool to set me up with that one lesbian they know. So simply because we were lesbians…” [05:16]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] – [02:15]: Jeff calls Bert a “dating racial profiler” and the group begins the profiling debate
• [03:14]: Bert’s defense: “She’s the one that said she wants to marry an Indian”
• [04:11]: Bert self-reflecting on his reasoning
• [05:16]: Parallels to other “one of us” matchmaking scenarios
• [06:16] – [06:59]: Discussion on “dibs” in the dating world; group jokes about leaving men for others
• [07:19] – [08:44]: Caller conversations; how to identify someone’s background, and letting the friend decide
• [08:54] – [09:04]: Bert’s and Jeff’s banter over “bridging the gap” for love

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Overall Tone and Style

The conversation is candid, irreverent, and full of playful ribbing—a hallmark of The Bert Show. The hosts don’t shy away from tricky social questions but keep things relatable and funny through personal anecdotes, audience calls, and clever banter. At the heart, the episode is less about hard answers and more about how friends navigate social dating dilemmas—in all their awkward, well-intentioned messiness.

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For Listeners:
If you enjoy honest, funny talk about real-life dating drama—with plenty of laughs and a side of self-awareness—this episode is classic Bert Show fare.

Transcript

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[Commentator 1]

get it?

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The bird show.

[Commentator 2]

I did a little thinking yesterday. Cause Jeff made. Jeff made a statement to me yesterday that I sort of found a little on the offensive side.

[Commentator 1]

Oh, just one?

[Commentator 2]

Well, this is the one that stood out yesterday. All right. Called me a dating racial profiler.

[Commentator 1]

Oh, totally.

[Commentator 2]

No, it's not.

[Commentator 1]

Yes, it is.

[Commentator 3]

What does that mean? When did it happen?

[Commentator 4]

There's a difference in what Burt was doing.

[Commentator 2]

Thank you. Here's the deal, all right? We all have a professional friend here that we know that will date any guy, okay? But she has made it known that she is going to marry a man of Indian descent.

[Commentator 1]

Right?

[Commentator 2]

That's what she has clearly said. I'll date anybody. Bring it on. I'm here to have a good time, right? But when it comes to married, I'm only marrying an Indian guy, period. That's the guy I'm gonna get serious with. I have made a new business friend. The problem here is I'm not sure he's Indian or not.

[Commentator 4]

Well, that's how the conversation started yesterday as you were trying to figure out if this man was Indian.

[Commentator 2]

I'm here to send him a text yesterday to explain it, and then I stopped it because it's. There's no way to politely ask him what his background is without it being offensive.

[Commentator 1]

And therein lies the crux of my statement.

[Commentator 2]

I don't see how.

[Commentator 1]

Because you are setting normally when you set two people up. If I was gonna set up Wendy with someone, right? So I know what Wendy's about. I've worked with Wendy for a while. I know she's 23 years old. Kind of got an idea of what Kind of guy she likes. So if I meet a guy, spiky

[Commentator 4]

hair, pop collar, right?

[Commentator 3]

Booshi.

[Commentator 1]

Right booshi.

[Commentator 4]

Perfect.

[Commentator 1]

If I meet a mid-20s Booshi, then I'm like, hey, he might be into Wendy, whatever, you know what I mean? So like I might set them up. You don't know this other guy. You spent 30 minutes with him and all you know is that he may or may not be Indian.

[Commentator 2]

He made such an impression on me that I thought, this guy, this is somebody that I think and I would tell the person that we're talking about that I would be setting up the date. I don't know this guy all that well, but he seems like a pretty decent guy and he's an Indian dude.

[Commentator 1]

But your only basis, possibly your only basis on setting the two of them up is the fact that they're both Indian.

[Commentator 2]

It is, to me, it is rating. It is dating, profiling, racial dating, profiling. If she never made that statement at all, but she's the one that came straight out and said, I'm only gonna marry an Indian, right?

[Commentator 1]

The only reason this is a well

[Commentator 4]

known thing about her.

[Commentator 1]

Right? But let's take the Indian, the race angle out of it, the nationality angle out of it, right? Let's just eliminate it. You wouldn't set those two people up.

[Commentator 2]

If Wendy came to me and she said she only dates guys that are five foot seven, white guys that are five foot seven.

[Commentator 1]

Right.

[Commentator 2]

And I knew a guy that was five foot seven and white, I would set her up with him because she has already told me that's what she wants to marry. So it's not.

[Commentator 4]

Dating is so much more narrowed at that point.

[Commentator 1]

But I don't think you would do it after only spending 30 minutes with him. And if you did, then I still think that's profiling. The only basis you have for setting those two people up is their nationality.

[Commentator 2]

And the, like you said, the hour that I've spent with the guy where I thought he was pretty cool dude,

[Commentator 1]

and that's racial, that's profiling.

[Commentator 2]

I don't think it is. I mean, yeah, I guess it would be because he's one of the few maybe Indian people I know, but seems like he's a good looking guy, he's got it together, he owns his own company, and sitting down with him for an hour, I was impressed with the guy. So why not? I just got to find out if he's Indian.

[Commentator 1]

Well, then you obviously don't know him that well and he doesn't own the company.

[Commentator 3]

You should set him up anyways.

[Commentator 2]

Set him up anyways because she dates

[Commentator 3]

anybody so she can find out, which is a problem.

[Commentator 2]

That. Which is another problem for her girlfriends.

[Commentator 3]

This is just a random thing we're talking about profiling. Anyway, so are you confused if he's Indian based on his looks or his name?

[Commentator 2]

Both. Okay, Both. And there's no way anyways, there's no way really finding out.

[Commentator 4]

Maybe. Yeah, maybe set them up and let them find out. Yeah.

[Commentator 2]

Like, do you think if I ran her name, but are his name by her she would know if it was an Indian name or not?

[Commentator 4]

Maybe. Is this guy really hot?

[Commentator 2]

I think he's a good looking dude.

[Commentator 4]

Yeah. Okay, then it's worth all of this, right?

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[Commentator 4]

You know what I'm saying? It's worth all this drama or asking her, setting them up or having her figured out or whatever else.

[Commentator 1]

Is he really hot on an everybody scale or really hot on an Indian scale?

[Commentator 3]

Funny you say that. Funny you say that because he is cool. And when I was single and somebody knew one lesbian knew me, they would thought it'd be really cool to set me up with that one lesbian they know. So simply because we were lesbians and regardless of everything else, can you imagine

[Commentator 1]

if you thought somebody was a lesbian? You're like, I am pretty sure that this girl. Hey, Melissa, why don't you come over here and meet my friend Amanda, who may or may not like the penis.

[Commentator 2]

Hey, Kimber, you're on Q100, huh?

[Caller 1]

Well, I was gonna say, if she said she would date anybody, go ahead and set him up and let her

[Commentator 1]

figure out if he's Indian or not.

[Commentator 2]

That is true. That is perfect.

[Commentator 1]

But it's a clear. It is a clear. You're making a clear racial statement when you do that.

[Commentator 2]

But I think you.

[Commentator 4]

But it also keeps her away from

[Commentator 2]

all the other guys, which has been

[Commentator 4]

a problem that her girlfriends want to date.

[Commentator 1]

Right. But that's. That's.

[Commentator 4]

Yeah, because their girlfriends are like, dude, you're not gonna marry him. Back off and like give them to everybody else.

[Commentator 2]

So this woman is notorious for like calling dibs on guys in bars and she's super hot.

[Commentator 3]

Why can't you. You're not gonna marry everybody you date.

[Commentator 4]

No, but she will. She will call dibs and then like capture the hearts or of the hotties in the room.

[Commentator 2]

The non Indian dudes.

[Commentator 4]

The non Indian dudes. And her girlfriends are like, back off a little bit.

[Commentator 3]

But she can, like, she can have whoever she wants.

[Commentator 2]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Commentator 3]

Oh, yeah.

[Commentator 4]

But that's why I Mean, her non

[Commentator 2]

Indian friends are like, wait, can you back off a little bit? Because maybe you'll date this guy for a couple of months, but I'm still in. I've got a world of marriage possibilities ahead of me and you're blocking me here.

[Commentator 3]

I don't see any problem with her dating whoever she wants to date.

[Commentator 4]

Oh, no. I say date whoever she wants to date. Just spread it around for the rest

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[Commentator 4]

Honey, don't bogart all the dudes.

[Commentator 1]

Just take the Indian guys. Yeah, look, if I see an Indian guy, you can have them.

[Commentator 2]

Don't bogart the hookah.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah.

[Commentator 2]

Good morning, Amanda. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 1]

Hey. I have a couple comments. One, if they want to know what race is, go ahead and ask them. I am. So I have grandparents who are from very many backgrounds.

[Commentator 4]

I have.

[Caller 1]

I have a Cherokee. Part Cherokee Indian, part Polish, part German. And the other, I guess, is redneck.

[Commentator 3]

But I don't know which on DNA test is classified.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, I'm very proud of my background. And you'd have to be pretty shallow not to be proud of your background. It's who you are. So ask him. I'm sure he wouldn't care. But then again, if you're willing to date anybody, what happens if you fall in love with somebody? Well, that he's not Indian.

[Commentator 2]

That I can't speak to because.

[Commentator 4]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Commentator 2]

I don't know.

[Commentator 1]

That's a decision that's important to her, so.

[Commentator 2]

Right.

[Commentator 1]

That's a different debate.

[Commentator 2]

Cindy says there's a way to look it up. Hey, Cindy.

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[Caller 1]

Not only can you tell if he's Indian by his name. I have a friend who's Indian. She can tell you exactly where he's from in India. It's very simple.

[Commentator 2]

Is it a little bit like me in the accents or. I can tell exactly where you're from?

[Caller 1]

Not really. It's just. I mean, it's just usually just by last name and even sometimes by first name. She can tell you exactly if he's Indian, if he's Hindi, if he's Muslim, if he's. And what region he's from. It's very, very simple.

[Commentator 2]

So your suggestion would be that if my friend is so into the Indian culture, I could tell her his name and she would know instantly if he was or not.

[Caller 1]

Absolutely.

[Commentator 2]

Okay, cool. That's a good suggestion right there.

[Commentator 4]

But you're still racially profiling. That's where the whole conversation.

[Commentator 1]

I mean, it's cool. If you're co, then go for it, Bert. I mean, that's all right.

[Commentator 2]

I'm just.

[Commentator 1]

You know what?

[Commentator 2]

I am bridging the gap for love, man. I'm a loving basketball.

[Commentator 1]

Maybe what you should do is maybe you should, you know, maybe you should take him to a deli like a true kosher deli.

[Commentator 2]

Oh, no.

[Commentator 1]

And you go to lunch one time, you know, cause you're Jewish. And then at the end of the meal go, let's have lunch next week, but we'll go to one of your restaurants.

[Commentator 2]

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