Vault: Jeff Faces His Fear Of Guns

Summary

The Bert Show - Vault: Jeff Faces His Fear Of Guns

Episode Date: January 21, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Featured Cast: Jeff, Bert, Melissa, Phil, and others

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show continues its "Face Your Fears" series. Jeff takes center stage as he confronts his anxiety surrounding guns by visiting a local gun range and firing a handgun for the first time. The show blends real-time experiences, supportive banter, humor, and personal reflection as Jeff moves from nerves to exhilaration, all under the guidance of his colleagues and expert staff at the gun store.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Comparing Fears (00:00–02:00)

• The episode picks up after Melissa’s challenge confronting her paralyzing fear of heights atop a skyscraper (00:01). She and Jeff discuss how deeply fears can impact daily life.
• Quote, Melissa (00:12): “It's like a phobia… It’s affected my entire life. From the high dive as a kid… to flying in a plane.”

2. Introducing Jeff’s Fear: Guns and the Unknown (02:00–04:00)

• Jeff describes his apprehension around guns, clarifying it’s less about guns themselves and more about unfamiliarity and the "power" they represent.
• He arrives at Ed’s Guns in Marietta, describing the classic "gun store" atmosphere, complete with hunting trophies and military memorabilia.
• Quote, Jeff (01:22): “If you were to write a sitcom... you would decorate the set with animal heads on wooden plaques all around the walls…”

3. Initial Reactions: Nerves and First Impressions (04:00–06:00)

• Jeff admits he felt little anxiety until he handled a loaded magazine. His caution peaks when the magazine and gun are close together, fearing an accidental, impossible mishap.
• Quote, Jeff (04:14): “I noticed myself... fixating on the two of them to make sure they somehow didn’t come close together and… fall off the counter or something.”

4. Understanding Gun Safety and the Power Dynamic (04:34–05:54)

• The team explores the psychology behind gun fear—it's not just the object, but the perceived power and potential for harm.
• A gun store staffer helps Jeff compare firing a gun to operating a dangerous but controlled power tool.
• Notable Analogy, Jeff (04:35): “It’s like a power tool… If you see the plug lying on the ground, you know it’s harmless… by putting the bullets in… all of a sudden it’s plugged in, and you’re like, 'Oh my God…'”

5. Friendship and Banter: Lightening the Mood (06:00–09:00)

• The group’s signature humor softens the tension, with jabs about Jeff losing a thumb and reminiscing about quirky prom venues.
• Safety rules discussed—Melissa insists he carry the loaded gun to the range, but Jeff clarifies gun safety protocol (06:54).
• Quote, Jeff (06:58): “You do not load the gun until you’re in the place where you’re gonna use it.”

6. Showdown: Entering the Shooting Range (09:00–11:45)

• The team, with Phil’s play-by-play, prepares Jeff for the shooting range experience. He’s equipped with goggles and hearing protection.
• Jeff is handed a 9mm Springfield XD semi-automatic pistol and is guided, step-by-step, through loading and chambering a round.
  • Description of the weapon and the difference between semi-automatic and revolver clarified for listeners.
  • Banter about target size and whether he should have started with a weapon that has more "kickback."
• Quote, Phil (09:59): “He is… about to load the gun… Stepped up to the booth right now…”

7. Moment of Truth: Jeff Fires the Gun (11:00–13:00)

• Tension builds as Jeff confirms the gun is loaded and acknowledges his anxiety about “holding a hot gun.”
• He takes aim, receives encouragement and direct instructions, and fires his first shot.
• Immediate physical and emotional reactions from both Jeff and the crew.
• Notable Moment (11:38): The sound of the shot reverberates. Real relief and excitement ensue.
• Quote, Jeff (12:01): “I’m a marksman.”

8. Aftermath: Reflection and Exhilaration (12:01–13:44)

• Jeff celebrates his accurate shooting (“three shots, same hole!”) and is surprised by how positive the overall experience was.
• The group contrasts Melissa’s continuing journey facing phobia with Jeff’s shift from apprehension to eagerness; he even jokes about turning into “Dirty Harry.”
• Quote, Jeff (12:22): “That was actually exhilarating. Like, I want to do it again.”
• Jeff shares that the range offers “ladies shoot free” nights, joking about future visits with other cast members.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa, on phobias vs. calculated fear (13:04): “Mine’s a little phobic. His was just that he didn’t know how to do it.”
• Jeff, on overcoming (13:13): “That was… definitely a different overcoming the fear… it’s almost a high. Totally honest with you. Like, I’m smiling.”

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Important Timestamps

• 00:12 – Melissa describes the extent of her fear of heights.
• 01:22 – Jeff sets the scene at Ed’s Guns.
• 04:14 – Jeff reveals his fixation on loaded weapon parts.
• 06:54 – Discussion on gun safety and strict protocols.
• 09:59–11:38 – Jeff loads, racks, and fires his first-ever shot.
• 12:01 – Jeff, now a self-proclaimed marksman, expresses exhilaration.
• 13:04–13:13 – The difference between phobia and unfamiliarity is discussed.

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Final Thoughts

This episode spotlights bravery in the face of personal fear, camaraderie among friends, and humor as a coping mechanism. Jeff’s journey from discomfort to excitement is both relatable and entertaining, emphasizing that sometimes facing the unknown is less about innate phobia and more about unfamiliarity—and with support, it can evolve into something empowering.

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For listeners seeking empathy, laughs, and the vicarious thrill of overcoming nerves, this episode is a feel-good, honest, and engaging listen.

Transcript

[A]

The Birch Show.

[B]

Yesterday morning, Melissa, very, very, very brave. Attacked, big time. Fear of her. And not just like, oh, heights. Kind of freaked me out a little bit. This is debilitating for her.

[C]

It's like a phobia. I mean, we. It is face your fears, but I chose something that is a phobia of mine, which is heights. And it's affected my entire life. Where from the high dive on the pool as a kid to flying in a plane to, you know, I have no fear of crashing in a plane. My thing is, we're just really high up, and it freaks me out. And so yesterday I faced my fear of heights by going to one of the tallest buildings in downtown Atlanta and getting on the rooftop and looking over. And pictures of that are on the web, by the way.

[B]

Even the pictures freak you out. I mean, because you could kind of see her inching her way to the edge of the building on her butt, you know, and the hair kind of like all over the place because there's so much wind up there. It just freaked me out listening to it yesterday.

[A]

Walking.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Hey, Jeff.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

Jeff is attacking his fear today, which is a fear of guns. Weird.

[A]

Yeah. It's not like I was explaining. It's not so much like the. The fear of guns as I think it is like the fear of unknown, because I have never fired anything above, like a BB gun or a pellet gun.

[C]

I think it's a common fear. I think a lot of people have a fear of guns for the very same reason. They've never handled one. They know it can be deadly. But, you know, and that's. That's what it's about.

[A]

So I'm up in Marietta on Canton highway, this place called Ed's Guns. And it is exactly what you would expect a gun store to be. Exactly.

[B]

I don't know what that means. Like, I don't have any expectation of what the inside of a gun store looks like.

[A]

If you were to write a sitcom and it was gonna be about a gun store, think of the stuff. Like, you would decorate the set with the. You know, the. The animal heads on the wooden plaques all around the walls. Right. The guy who greets you at the door, and which, of course, they have up here at Ed's. The guy who greets you at the door, his name is Gunny. And that's exactly what happened. And he looks every bit like the marine or the army guy, you know, shaved head. He's the guy who, you know, Phil put it best, who was probably in the military and Then, you know, retired, got the honorable discharge, tons of awards, whatever. And then when, you know, the drama started happening over in Iraq, he's like, I want to go back. I was back there. This wouldn't be taking so long. Like that type of guy, you know what I mean? So he's in here, and it's just, you know, in between the camouflage and the deer scent and the, you know, the sights, there's. There's the glass counters with all the guns and. And I've been talking to a guy named Kurt, and while I'm a little nervous, Phil, it's like Christmas.

[B]

Yeah, no doubt, man. This guy's in. Totally in his element, isn't he?

[A]

Like, Phil's like, hey, when you're done, can I take a few minutes and shoot? I said, sure.

[B]

So while you're walking around there and you're looking at all the guns and stuff, I mean, is there any kind of anxiety or it's the actual just having it in your hand where you start to get freaked out?

[A]

I actually, I had no anxiety. None. I told. I can't remember who I said this to this morning. The only time I got nervous, really this morning, is when I thought of the fast moving mechanisms of all the gun and the fact that my skin might get caught somewhere like that. Seriously, is what made me nervous this morning. And so I came up here and I was fine. I'm talking to Phil. We come in, I meet Kurt. We're talking. Yeah, I talked to Kurt about everything. We go over the four rules of gun safety. I kind of have this little pre course, very thorough, very, very comprehensive on how to hold a gun and handle a gun. And I was totally, completely fine because Kurt compulsively checks the handgun to make sure there's no bullet in the chamber. It's not loaded, of course, so I had no. So even when I was holding the gun, no anxiety. But then he had me load the magazine, which is completely separate from the gun. Like, there's the gun and then there's the magazine, and there's no bullets in the gun until you put the magazine in the gun. And I noticed myself after the magazine was loaded and the gun was on the counter, like fixating on the two of them to make sure they somehow didn't come close together and slide together and then fall off the counter or something.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, I think it's the. I wonder if it's more the fear of the gun or the fear that you actually have the power to take.

[A]

Somebody'S life I don't know what it is. Which. That might be it. Like, I mean, I. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but it. Once. Once the bullets were in the magazine and the actual power was that. You know what?

[C]

He.

[A]

One of the guys here explained it a good way. It's like a power tool. Like, if you think of, like, a table saw and how horribly something like that could hurt you, then you're. Then you're, you know, like, it's. It's terrible. But then if you see the plug lying on the ground, you know that it's harmless, right? Because it's not plugged in. Well, by putting the bullets in the magazine, all of a sudden it's plugged in, and you're like, oh, my God, if I hit the wrong button, that thing's gonna start spinning. And then what if my arm hits it and it cuts off my arm? Same exact idea with the gun. It was really weird because I thought I was even. Like I said, melissa, you set the bar high with your paralyzing fear of heights. So I almost felt bad that I wasn't as scared as you were. And then I started to feel the anxiety once the bullets came out and stuff. It was actually pret.

[D]

Weird.

[C]

Right.

[E]

Are you afraid of it malfunctioning in any way?

[A]

Only if it's pointed towards me when.

[C]

That happens, because, you know, sometimes guns can backfire, and sometimes, you know, it can come out the back of the gun and.

[A]

Right. Did I talk about the breeze when you were on top of the roof, Melissa?

[C]

Yeah, you did. Before I went up there, like, the day before.

[A]

Well, it's the day of. And also, one of the things I told.

[C]

He's changing the rules.

[A]

I told you that the. You know, one of my fears was, like, the skin, you know, getting caught in the whole thing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So at one point, he has me hold the gun, and he says, okay, you're holding it incorrectly if you hold it there. This part. I can't remember what it's called, but the top part shoots back at 350ft per second. If your thumbs there, you'll really have a problem. And I. And now I'm focused. Like, I can't not hold the gun that way. It's weird.

[B]

You lose a digit. Big deal.

[A]

Yeah, I got two thumbs, right?

[B]

You'll be all right. Are you at the shooting range? I mean, can we do this right now?

[A]

Yeah, if you want to do it right now, I can. I guess I'll walk in and I'll hand the phone to Phil. And I'll let you talk to Phil, and then Kurt and I will walk back into the thing and then I'll probably put my headset on and we'll go from there. Is that cool?

[B]

That's fine.

[C]

Now, I want to ask a question, Jeff. So how far is the shooting range from where you are now?

[A]

The shooting range?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's through two doors. It's a 10 second walk away.

[C]

Because I think to add to this, you have to carry the loaded gun to the place you're shooting instead of Kirk carrying it for you.

[A]

Melissa, don't be silly. You do not load the gun until you're in the place where you're gonna use it.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

The rules of gun safety. Thank you.

[B]

That's a nice break.

[C]

He's learning.

[B]

That's a very nice break.

[C]

Even though he told me to rappel down that building yesterday. I did not forget that either.

[D]

Hey, guys.

[C]

Hey, man.

[D]

What's going on?

[B]

Have you ever felt more at home than you do right now?

[D]

I'm sorry, say that one more time.

[B]

Do you ever feel more at home than you do right now in a gun shop?

[D]

Yeah, I really do. I'm sitting here walking around going, wow, you know, I could really probably get a gun for the house and. Oh, we can. They do practices every Tuesday at 6:00'.

[A]

Clock.

[D]

I can meet y' all up here. Yeah, I can skip out on boot camp.

[B]

Didn't your school rent out that place for prom?

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Didn't your school rent out that place for prom?

[A]

We could have. We should have. But it's me.

[D]

I'm sitting here going through my Christmas wish list as I'm walking around a.

[E]

Red Rider BB gun.

[B]

How far.

[D]

Hang on. We are putting the.

[A]

Putting on the.

[D]

The safety gear on right now. The goggles and the headset.

[A]

Give me two seconds.

[B]

They must have had to put two headsets together today.

[C]

Yeah. He's got a big old head. And those goggles. Like, they just put a sheet of yellow Saran wrap around his eyes.

[A]

My ears on.

[C]

Have to wrap his head. Yeah.

[E]

Swaddle him.

[C]

Yeah. That's a big head.

[B]

Hey, Phil? Yeah? Is he gonna be on the phone or is he on that weird Zephyr thing that Melissa was on yesterday?

[D]

No, you'll be able to hear it through me.

[C]

Okay, so we're not gonna talk to him while he's shooting?

[D]

No, because he has to use both hands to shoot. So I'll be standing right beside him as he shoots. And I can hear y' all and If I, if I hug out for a second, it's just because it's really loud.

[C]

Let me ask a question. Explain what he's shooting.

[A]

Exactly again, what.

[D]

It is we're shooting.

[C]

Handgun rifle.

[D]

Well, hang on one second here.

[B]

Hello.

[D]

Okay, this is a 9 millimeter Springfield XD semi automatic pistol.

[C]

Okay. Okay, got it.

[B]

Is that a badass pistol right there?

[D]

Yeah, it's cool. The best way to describe it, it's almost like a movie gun. It's not a revolver. And it does have the magazine clip that goes along with it and the little clips, the magazine springs out and you load it real fast. So it's just. It's a black gun and it doesn't have the little pullback trigger. You just fire. It's semi automatic. So what I learned is semi automatic means, you know, you shoot it once and you gotta trigger again. It doesn't keep going.

[B]

Yeah, Melissa was just. Melissa brought up a great plan. We probably should have had him do a shotgun.

[E]

I know.

[C]

I'm sitting here going. Because I, you know, I'm from small town south. I learned how to shoot guns when I was a kid. And so he should have been shooting a rifle. So he had a kickback to kind of really freak him out. But.

[D]

For the record, he just replaced the extremely large target with a very, very small target.

[B]

Doesn't matter. He's not gonna hit it.

[C]

He's not gonna hit it. Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Okay. He is. He stepped up to the booth right now. He's about to load the gun.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Do you want me to talk to him?

[D]

You want, you want to talk to him? Can you shoot? And at the same time.

[A]

Okay, hold on.

[D]

I'm gonna pass him up to Jeff real quick.

[A]

Okay, Hang on one second. There.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey. How you feeling?

[D]

Okay, just.

[A]

I. I actually thought everything would be kind of done for me, but it wasn't like I had to load the gun and stuff.

[C]

Yeah. So, I mean, that's where. That's what's going to bring the anxiety. Right. Putting the guy, the bullets in the gun.

[B]

So.

[E]

I'm having these symptoms.

[A]

Hold on. I'm checking to see if there's anything in the chamber. Damn it.

[C]

Because that's what freaked him out. You know the story Jeff told. Oh, sorry.

[D]

Puts the magazine in firmly so it goes this way. That's it.

[A]

Slam it in.

[D]

There you go. Okay, now keep your finger off the trigger.

[A]

Fingers off the trigger.

[D]

Slide sharply.

[A]

Wait a minute. What hand am I shooting with?

[D]

You're shooting with your left hand.

[A]

Okay, Doing like this.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Across the top.

[A]

And then I do this.

[D]

Rack it sharp.

[A]

And when I rack it, it's armed.

[D]

That's correct.

[A]

We want to do that right now.

[D]

Want to do that right?

[A]

All right.

[B]

How you feeling right now?

[C]

Oh, you just did it. Nope.

[A]

Okay, I've got. I've now. I'm now holding a hot gun.

[C]

Okay, it's in the chamber.

[B]

How you feel? How you feeling?

[A]

I'm doing okay.

[D]

Both hands, both hands. Oh, wait. Your sights are on the target.

[A]

All right, you guys shot. Where do you want it? Hard or head?

[D]

Hard. Put your finger on the trigger. Squeeze slowly until you feel some percent.

[A]

You guys ready?

[B]

Huh?

[D]

Pick up the slap. Come forward, come forward.

[A]

All right, got it.

[D]

Thumb forward, squeeze trigger straight back. Wow. Hell of a shot.

[B]

Heard that one.

[D]

Excellent, excellent.

[B]

I hate that sound. I hate that sound. Hey, man.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

I hate that sound.

[E]

I'm sweating. My palms are sweating for you, Jeff.

[C]

How'd it feel?

[A]

I'm a marksman.

[C]

How'd you get hit?

[A]

Yeah, I can shoot. Yeah, I think Phil's gonna take some shots, but, yeah, I did it.

[B]

How'd you save your target?

[A]

Yeah, I'll bring the target back. That was actually really cool. And, Jen, I know Jessica will be into this. So Tuesday night, ladies shoot free.

[C]

Sweet.

[A]

Swear to God. So we'll come back Tuesday night. That was. I gotta be honest with you. That was actually exhilarating. Like, I want to do it again.

[B]

Yeah, with your passion for power, I'm guessing you turn into Dirty Harry right now.

[A]

Oh, my God, it was awesome. Phil's taking a picture of Kurt right now holding my target. And. Yeah, that was actually really, really, really cool.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Really cool.

[B]

The reactions are a little different today. Like, you got over it. You're digging it. Melissa's in, like, no big rush to get on top of a building again.

[C]

But I did say yesterday. No, I'm going to. I'm gonna continue doing what I did yesterday. I'm not gonna get on top of that building again because, well, I can't. But I'm gonna continue fighting it and get. It's gonna take. Mine's a little phobic. His was just that he didn't know how to do it. So.

[A]

Three shots, same hole, three shots.

[C]

Really, Jeff? That's awesome.

[B]

That's dangerous.

[A]

That was. Yeah, that was actually definitely a different overcoming the fear than Melissa, because I. It's. It's almost a high.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

Totally honest with you. Like, I'm smiling.

[C]

Well, take the picture. Take a picture of the target and bring.

[A]

I'm gonna bring the. I'll bring the target back.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[A]

They're going to get a new target for Phil. So Phil doesn't take any credit for my great marksmanship.

[B]

Nice job, dude. We'll see you when you get.

[C]

Congratulations, James.

[D]

Fine.

[A]

Fine. James, find out the Birch Show.