Vault: Jeff wants nothing to do with Farmville

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Jeff wants nothing to do with Farmville
Date: June 5, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into the surprising cultural phenomenon of Farmville, the classic Facebook farming game. The group shares personal anecdotes, listener reactions, and plenty of laughs as they debate the addictiveness, social reach, and, at times, bewildering appeal of the game—noting Jeff's adamant refusal to get involved. Along the way, the crew highlights stories from both hardcore fans and vocal critics, reflecting on how games like Farmville, Cafe World, and Sorority Life shape people's routines and social interactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jeff’s Firm Stance Against Farmville

• [01:05] Jeff: He opens by making it clear he wants nothing to do with Farmville, mentioning that during his retirement/sabbatical, Bert sent him messages highlighting that more people complained about making fun of Farmville than about Jeff not being on the show.

  "We were going back and forth about something...and [Bert] goes 'call me after dinner and stay humble with this. I received more complaints in the past hour about making fun of Farmville than I have about you not being part of the show.'"
  — Jeff, [01:08]

• Jeff jokes about people threatening to gift him Farmville animals so he'd be forced to start playing.

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The Social Media Spillover

• [02:01] Unidentified Male Host: Complains his Facebook newsfeed became overwhelmed with Farmville updates, leading him to hide people.

• [02:06] Berto: Remarks that his attempt to refuse invitations backfired, only leading to more requests:

  "I just straight up wanted to say, I just don't have the time. I don't want to do it...Since I said that, the requests have more than tripled."
  — Berto, [02:06]

• Comparison of Farmville addiction to other games like World of Warcraft, with concern that such games start intruding on real life ([04:10] Unidentified Male Host).

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Listener & Player Testimonies: “My Life in Farmville”

• The show features audio clips and calls from listeners and Farmville players who describe their experiences.

• [03:03] Teenage Farmville Player:

  "The game FarmVille on Facebook is the most addicting game I have ever played in my entire life. I am on it hours out of the day. I set an alarm. It is 1:32 right now. In the morning on a Saturday...I can't let my stuff wither away."
  — Teenage Farmville Player, [03:03]

  • Admits to hiding Farmville play from parents, staying up late, compulsively harvesting crops.

• [04:26] Unidentified Farmville Player:

  "I just find it so addictive. I have gotten a lot of coins. I mean, I could buy a barn, but I just don't want to because I want to buy the cottage. But I have 60,000. But I have to wait till I get to level 19 and right now I'm at level 13."
  — Unidentified Farmville Player, [04:26]

• Field report that Farmville players number about 80 million worldwide (Berto, [04:24]).

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The Anti-Farmville Perspective

• [05:14] Unidentified Female Host (via video):
  A spirited monologue captures the frustration of non-players:

  "Because you know what? I don't really give a [beep] about Farmville. It's all over. I feel like all of my friends want me to join Farmville. I'm so sick of it. You don't even know...you're taking time out of your daily life to grow cyber plants which is even more boring than growing plants themselves. I mean what the [beep] is wrong with you people?"
  — Unidentified Female Host, [05:18]

• The team laughs at how this resembles a “Simpsons parody”—the absurdity that millions are excited about virtual chores ([06:20] Berto).

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Real Versus Virtual Farming

• [06:35] Unidentified Male Host:
  Mocks the gap between actual farming and Farmville farming:

  "Do you think real farmers are offended? Probably. Oh, you think it's so easy to harvest crops, you just click a couple of buttons?"

• [06:41] Jeff:

  "Oh yeah. You got to get up at 2 in the morning to go to sit at your computer. I have to get up 2 in the morning to go birth a calf."

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Related “Addictive” Games: Cafe World, Sorority Life, and Tiki Farm

• [06:51] Katrina (caller): Describes her experience with other games:

  "I do play Cafe World and Tiki Farm and Sorority Life and those games are very addicting. I literally stay on my computer from sun up to sundown. I mean, I don't go to bed till after midnight knowing I have to be up at 7 in the morning. And as soon as I wake up, I turn on the computer and play again."
  — Katrina, [06:54]

• [07:17] Katrina: Explains the competition and reward aspects of Sorority Life. Winning money in a fight with other sorority houses elicits a "high," underlining the same compulsive mechanics as Farmville.

  "...when you fight someone, you can take money from them. So. And the most money you can win in a fight is $70,000. And that kind of gives you high when we kind of beat people and take all their money."
  — Katrina, [07:57]

• [07:50] Berto: Jokes about “the different kind of sorority life than I would have programmed.”

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Farmville on the Road: Truckers’ Stories

• [08:35] William (caller): Shares that truck drivers, when laid over, use their downtime to play Farmville or similar games, sometimes coordinating on the CB radio.

  "I used to be a truck driver...they'll get on the CB saying, 'y'all are in here—well, buddy up and play [Farmville] religiously.'"
  — William, [08:38]

• He clarifies that when delayed at stops (e.g., waiting to unload a truck of cabbage), drivers socialize and play these games to pass time.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I'm a Farmville virgin and somebody wants to take my virginity."
  — Berto, [02:32]

• "I advise you stay away from Farmville or you'll get addicted."
  — Teenage Farmville Player, [03:53]

• "What is so great about breeding cyberpixel pets and farms? Like what? Farm animals? Whatever the. I don't care. Okay. Gardening is boring in the first place. But...you're taking time out of your daily life to grow cyber plants which is even more boring than growing plants themselves."
  — Unidentified Female Host, [05:18]

• "Do you think real farmers are offended? Probably. Oh, you think it's so easy to harvest crops you just click a couple of buttons?"
  — Unidentified Male Host, [06:35]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:05] — Jeff explains why he wants nothing to do with Farmville
• [02:01] — Discussion about Facebook newsfeed overflow and farm game invitations
• [03:03] — Teenage caller describes late-night Farmville addiction
• [04:24] — Discussion of Farmville's 80 million player base
• [05:14] — Anti-Farmville rant highlights the frustrations of non-players
• [06:35] — Jokes on real versus virtual farming
• [06:54] — Katrina describes addiction to Cafe World, Tiki Farm, Sorority Life
• [08:35] — William shares truckers' downtime Farmville stories

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Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is unfiltered, humorous, and self-aware. Hosts playfully roast Farmville and each other, spotlighting both the absurdity and social power of these seemingly innocuous games. Call-ins and clips give an authentic, sometimes confessional tone, mirroring the very authenticity the Bert Show is known for.

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Transcript

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[Berto]

Jeff, you haven't been in here when we've we've been talking about farmville.

[Jeff]

I don't want to be a part of it.

[Katrina]

Why not?

[Jeff]

Because Bert sent me a text message. When? During my retirement and your sabbatical. Yeah. And he said this. We were going back and forth about something most likely related to that. And he goes well call me after dinner and stay humble with this. I received more complaints in the past hour about making fun of farmville than I have about you not being part of the show and I thought that was funny. So I sent a tweet out that I said just heard from Burt and more people are mad at them making fun of farmville than mad at me losing my edge or something like that. And I seriously had people either tweet back or write me and say don't even. You know what, I was gonna forgive you cause you weren't there. But don't even hop on the making fun of farmville bandwagon because I checked it and you don't even play. So I'm going to send you some roosters and then you'll get started. Or some prevailing I had to hide

[Unidentified Male Host]

people on my Facebook page because all I was getting from them all the time was farmville.

[Berto]

Their news feeds. Your news feed is being filled with all farmville updates. Yeah, this has had the exact opposite effect on what I wanted it to. And that was a couple of days ago I was saying I was getting invitation after invitation from people inviting me and us to play on farmville and and I just straight up wanted to say, I just don't have the time. I don't want to do it. So please stop bugging me about farmville. And since I said that, the requests have more than tripled.

[Unidentified Male Host]

Are you serious?

[Berto]

Like, it's a personal challenge. You know, it's like I'm a. I'm a farmville virgin and somebody wants to take my virginity. So it's been one after the other after the other after the other. And somebody pointed me to a couple of different links on YouTube from people that claim that they are addicted to Farmville. We've had some on that say they'll wake up at 1:30 in the morning. Jeff. They're setting their alarm to like 2:15 in the morning.

[Jeff]

I've heard about people doing this to feed their animals or whatever so they

[Berto]

can like harvest their crops or something

[Unidentified Male Host]

like that, water their plants or something.

[Teenage Farmville Player]

So I would just like to say that the game FarmVille on Facebook is the most addicting game I have ever played in my entire life. I am on it hours out of the day. I set an alarm. It is. It is 1:32 right now. In the morning on a Saturday, Saturday to Sunday. I am a teenage kid, teenager. I don't want my parents to find out that I'm playing farmville at one in the morning. I stay up and play farmville. I have to check my farms. I can't let my stuff wither away. I just. I sit there for hours harvesting my crops, deleting crops so I can add more. More buildings and decorations and all that crap.

[Unidentified Female Host]

And it's a serious problem.

[Teenage Farmville Player]

I advise you stay away from farmville or you'll get addicted.

[Berto]

You know, we were talking earlier this morning about the minutes that you could rack up, like on your deathbed. When you look back on the wasted time that you had in life watching reality TV shows. How. How about the Farmville people? There are 80 million of them.

[Unidentified Male Host]

Well, yeah, I mean, I think anything that takes over your life like that and you stop participating in real life because you're participating in a game. Check yourself because, remember we talked about the, like, the World of Warcraft people and all that kind of stuff, it just takes over.

[Berto]

There are 80 million people on Farmville.

[Unidentified Farmville Player]

Is anyone else addicted to Farmville? I just find it so addictive. I have gotten a lot of coins. I mean, I could buy a barn, but I just don't want to because I want to buy the cottage. But I have 60,000. But I have to wait till I get to level 19 and right now I'm at level 13. I am addicted to Farmville. I have this other friend and they've been just a little bit ahead of me and now I'm literally this far behind them. And when I update my Farmville at exactly 2:15 they're not gonna see what hit them.

[Berto]

Alright, I could only find one anti farmville video.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Berto]

And the dude in the video looks like that 13 year old that you used to go to school with that was way too mature. Like had the full on beard and the zits and all that. But he was only like 13 years old.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he's probably shaving. His dad was shaving him every night.

[Berto]

Yes.

[Jeff]

He couldn't use the razor himself.

[Berto]

Like this is Chewbacca right here.

[Unidentified Female Host]

Guess what? My mini feed has been by farmville. That's right. It's been in the and all over the place. Because you know what? I don't really give a about voice Farm Bill. It's all over. I feel like all of my friends want me to join farmville. I'm so sick of it. You don't even know. Okay, first of all, what is so great about breeding? Like cyberpixel pets and farms? Like what? Farm animals, Whatever the. I don't care. Okay. Gardening is boring in the first place. But the fact of the matter is is that you're taking time out of your daily life to grow cyber plants, which is even more boring than growing plants themselves. I mean what the is wrong with you people? I really like what. And I don't even say you people. I think that sounds so uneducated. But I mean like what. What is so great about farmville? Please farmville, go away. I don't like you. So many people don't like you. Please leave.

[Berto]

It really does seem like almost like a Simpsons parody that the whole world is playing a game of farming. When planting stuff is probably the most boring thing you could do in your real life. That people are all excited about it online it makes.

[Unidentified Male Host]

Do you think real farmers are offended? Probably. Oh, you think it's so easy to harvest crops you just click a couple of buttons?

[Jeff]

Oh yeah. You got to get up at 2 in the morning to go to sit at your computer. I have to get up 2 in the morning to go birth a calf.

[Berto]

Hey Katrina. Good morning.

[Katrina]

Good morning. Hi Berto. I love you guys.

[Berto]

Thank you.

[Katrina]

I just wanted to comment. I don't play farmville but I do play Cafe World and Tiki Farm and Sorority Life and those games are very addicting. I literally stay on my Computer from sun up to sundown. I mean, I don't go to bed till after midnight knowing I have to be up at 7 in the morning. And as soon as I wake up, I turn on the computer and play again. Soon as I get to work, I'm playing. It's really addicting.

[Berto]

And what are the two games that you're playing?

[Katrina]

I play Cafe World, Sorority Life, and Tiki Farm is a new game. And it's like farmville, where you have to harvest your crops, but it's kind of like a Hawaiian. Like a Hawaiian island, but you have to harvest your crops, and the things grow in real time. So you actually have to time when they're like, be ready to, like, the cafe where you have to take food off the stove and harvest your crops and Tiki Farms. So it's really addicting. I could be at the store and I actually will run home to go because I might have to remember that I need to harvest a crop or take food off the stove. That's crazy. Yeah.

[Berto]

Let's back up for one second and focus on this sorority thing you're talking about. What's that one all about?

[Unidentified Male Host]

Sorority World says sorority life.

[Katrina]

Sorority life, it's like a collection of, like, people can get on there to kind of chat. And it's mostly about, like, clothing and doing socializing events. They have something like on campus, off campus events, vacation events, and basically you can fight other rival sorority houses. And that's the most addicting part, because when you fight someone, you can take money from them. So. And the most money you can win in a fight is $70,000. And that kind of gives you high when we kind of beat people and take all their money.

[Berto]

Definitely the different kind of sorority life than I would have programmed.

[Unidentified Male Host]

You were hoping for some more pillow fights.

[Katrina]

That's funny.

[Berto]

William. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[William]

Hey, good morning, y'. All. Love y'. All.

[Berto]

Thank you, sir.

[William]

Yeah, what it is, is I used to be a truck driver, and they were. They were play it while they're in their truck. They'll get on the CB saying, y' all are in here. We'll buddy up and play it religiously.

[Jeff]

So truck drivers would play Farmville on the road?

[William]

Well, no, what they'll do is I'd get laid over. Like I was down in Miami, and I got laid over two days because I had a load of cabbage. And I was in the truck stop and they were getting on the cb saying, man, this is great. You know, if y' all go to Farmville and do their thing. I was, I got into the Warcraft.

[Jeff]

All right, now William, help me out here. So did you have a real truck with real cabbage in it?

[William]

No, no, I had a. I drove an 18 wheeler. You know what they call a refrigerated trailer that had a load of cabbage. And Kroger was one of the places that I went to. And they, they, when they offload your truck, they literally put it straight into the stores. And I had to wait because there was two trucks in front of me.

[Berto]

Okay, gotcha. Okay, so in between lot lizards you're playing. Those guys are playing.

[William]

Yeah, they. But yeah, they, they literally just stay in those truck stops and play that.

[Berto]

Gotcha. Thank you, sir.

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Wow.

[Katrina]

I got lost.

[Jeff]

One question too many.

[Unidentified Female Host]

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