Vault: Jeff's Trip to Ballpark

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – Jeff’s Trip to the Ballpark

Episode Date: October 31, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jeff, and Guests

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show highlights a hilariously authentic (and contentious) exchange between Jeff and a fellow baseball game attendee, Janet, after a fraught ballpark experience. The focal point: Jeff confronts Janet about her young child’s disruptive behavior at a Braves game, sparking a heated debate about parenting, public etiquette, and who “owns” the right to enjoy America’s favorite pastime.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jeff’s Ballpark Outrage (02:15–03:14)

• Summary:
  Jeff describes his frustrating outing at the ballpark. Sitting next to Janet and her restless toddler, Jeff feels his enjoyment is severely disrupted. He asks Janet to control her child, but instead of an apology, Janet doubles down.
• Notable Quote (Jeff/Dana):

  “This woman, this child was just all over the place… I leaned over and said to the woman, 'You know what? You got to control your kid…' And her response was, 'He’s three years old. You need to be a little more understanding and patient.'” (02:24–03:00)

2. Janet Calls In – The Great Debate Begins (03:14–04:48)

• Summary:
  The show brings Janet, the mother in question, on the line. A back-and-forth identification of what Jeff was wearing at the game confirms she is, indeed, the right Janet.
  Janet expresses indignation at being called out, arguing children belong at games—and so do their noisy, playful ways.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    "Families take their children to baseball games. Do you know that? My family, we bought eight tickets... My child was not anything but being. You are just wrong. You're just wrong." (04:18–04:48)

  • Jeff/Dana:

    “Right, but your child was being a child. He was hitting us with a foam tomahawk.” (04:48–04:52)

3. Escalating Arguments: Child’s Rights vs. Shared Experience (04:52–06:42)

• Summary:
  Jeff and Janet spar about whether a child's right to play trumps an adult’s desire for a peaceful ballgame. Janet insists Jeff is simply out of touch (“you don’t have any kids”). Jeff argues for a basic level of public consideration, regardless of age.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    “He’s three years old. How much damage could he do?... Grown ups should learn how to play with children... He wasn’t bothering anybody but you.” (04:52–05:14)

  • Show Host (to Janet):

    "I just don't understand why your ticket and your experience is so much more important than Jeff's at the game." (06:57–07:04)

4. Entitlement and “Family First” Logic (05:29–07:16)

• Summary:
  Janet invokes her family’s numeric and financial contribution to the stadium (eight tickets vs. Jeff’s two) as validation for her position. She argues families are what make games fun and cultural, and that detractors should go to museums or plays.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    "Do you think that the Braves would rather have us there with our eight tickets or you with your two?" (05:29–05:34)
    "People like that need to go out to the museum or to the movies or to a play or something. Not to a game, because that's where children are." (05:45–05:59)

5. Refusal to Apologize, “Kids Will Be Kids” Doctrine (06:59–08:10)

• Summary:
  Show hosts push Janet on the concept of manners, apology, and empathy for others’ perspectives. Janet refuses to apologize, standing firm that "kids will be kids" and that non-parents lack understanding.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    “There's no reason to say sorry. He's a child. He's just a child playing, entertained by things around him.” (08:38–08:48)
    "I'm just saying that I'm trying to show my child the world around him. And if people don't like it... see, you don't have any children, and I really hope you never do." (07:55–08:04)

6. Jeff’s Frustration and the Debate's Aftermath (09:10)

• Summary:
  Janet abruptly ends the call, leaving the cast exasperated. Jeff’s exasperation is clear as the group comments on stubbornness, entitlement, and the endless debate between parents and non-parents in public spaces.
• Notable Quote (Dana/Jeff):

  "Oh my god. God, I hate people like that." (09:10–09:13)

---

Memorable Moments & Standout Quotes

• On confirming Janet's identity:
  “The guy that was sitting next to me had a black T-shirt and these black sunglasses that he thought he looked so good in.” — Janet (03:57–04:07)

• On the perspective gap:
  "If you want to come to a baseball game, then you need to be aware of the fact that that's where children are. Families take their children to baseball games. Do you know that?" — Janet (04:18–04:23)

• On the collision of worlds:
  “So you're basically... what you're saying is that your world is more important than anyone else's you encounter?” — Dana (07:51–07:55)

• On the philosophy of apology:
  "There's no reason to say sorry. He's a child. He's just a child playing…" — Janet (08:38–08:48)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Jeff describes the ballpark incident: 02:24–03:14
• Janet calls in, confirms her identity: 03:14–04:11
• Debate erupts between Jeff and Janet: 04:18–07:04
• Hosts challenge Janet’s perspective: 07:04–08:48
• Janet hangs up, hosts vent: 09:10–09:13

---

Tone and Takeaway

The conversation is unfiltered, authentic, and laced with both humor and frustration. The Bert Show doesn’t shy away from tough, real-life social encounters, providing listeners with relatable drama and characteristically sharp commentary. The central dilemma—should everyone at a family-friendly event be expected to tolerate kids’ misbehavior?—remains unresolved, but listeners are left with plenty to chew on (and laugh at) for their morning commute.

---

Transcript

[Jeff Bridges]

Morning Zoe. Got donuts.

[Zoe]

Jeff Bridges why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeff Bridges]

Well I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me.

[Zoe]

So Dana oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Jeff Bridges]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice.

[Zoe]

J free.

[Dana]

You heard them.

[Jeff Bridges]

T Mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[Zoe]

Dude, my work here is done.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

The 24 month bill credits on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit same and balance due if you pay off earlier Cancel Finance Agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 and new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oklahoma Speed Test Intelligence Data 1H 2025 Visit t mobile.com.

[Hers Medication Advertiser]

So the other day I was in this group chat. Of course the topic turned to weight loss medications because it kind of seems like everybody's on one. One friend is already on one, another is researching every option on Tick tock and someone else was like I don't even know where to start. It feels like everybody is talking about it right now, but nobody really knows if it's right for them. That's why hers can be a great option for you because they take all the confusion out of it. You connect with a real medical provider who helps you figure out what's actually best for your body and your goals without the guesswork. If it's prescribed, you'll get medication as a part of a doctor develop developed weight loss program with ongoing check ins, dosage adjustments and 24. 7 online support. They've got affordable options from oral medication kits to GLP1 injectables starting at 69amonth. So if you've been trying to figure out what works for you, it might be time to check out hers. Whether you want to lose weight, grow thicker, fuller hair, or find relief for anxiety, hers has you covered. Visit for hers.combert to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you that's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert weight loss by hers is not available everywhere. Compounded drug products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased.

[Janet]

The Bird Show.

[Show Host]

There is nothing more fun for this morning show than when a listener is upset at Jeff. And this one Jeff brought on himself.

[Dana]

Had a great day at the ballpark. Except the woman sitting to Jessica and I, our immediate left, had a small child with her. And I'm going to guess the age of being two and a half or three and a half years old. Anyways, this woman, this child was just all over the place. He had no interest in what was happening on the field. He wanted to play with the seeds. He wanted to find out what was on the ground. He wanted to swing his stuffed tomahawk around. And it just made the game uncomfortable for Jessica and I. So at one point during the game, I leaned over and said to the woman, you know what? You got to control your kid because he's really kind of ruining the enjoyment of the game. And her response was not an apology. It was not, I'll try. It was nothing like that. It was, he's three years old. You need to be a little more understanding and patient. And it took to the point where Jessica and I ended up moving to a different section about five innings into the game.

[Show Host]

The woman that was sitting next to you at the game claims she's on the line right now and she wants to talk to you.

[Medical Advertiser]

Okay.

[Show Host]

And Tammy put her name is Janet, was sitting next to Jeff at game P, I, S S, E, D.

[Dana]

She's one of these people who doesn't think she can do anything wrong. Like, I'm looking forward to talking to her because I guarantee you we'll spend 10 minutes talking to her and she will not admit to any fault. And, you know, her life is probably all screwed up, but she's got fault after fault after fault. None of them are hers.

[Show Host]

At least you comforted her before she came on Janet. Hey, just in the interest of fairness here, what were you wearing at the game the other night? Just to make sure that you were the one sitting next to Jeff.

[Dana]

Well, ask her if she's so sure. Ask her what I was wearing.

[Show Host]

Okay.

[Zoe]

What was Jeff wearing?

[Janet]

Oh, okay. Okay. That sounds fair. Okay. The guy that was sitting next to me had a black T shirt and these black sunglasses that he thought he looked so good in.

[Dana]

What level of the park were you sitting in?

[Janet]

In the third level that you.

[Dana]

You're sure it could be me.

[Janet]

Okay, it was you. It was you.

[Show Host]

Jeff is giving A thumbs up. It's okay.

[Janet]

You. You, Jeff, you're so selfish. You don't have any kids. That's why you don't understand. And if you want to come to a baseball game, then you need to be aware of the fact that that's where children are. Families take their children to baseball games. Do you know that? My family, we bought eight tickets. Eight of them. That means eight tickets, souvenirs, snacks. And my child was not anything but being. You are just wrong. You're just wrong.

[Dana]

Right, but your child was being a child. He was hitting us with a foam tomahawk.

[Janet]

Oh, he's three years old. How much damage could he do? He barely even flew it past you.

[Dana]

You put an eye on one of those things. It's not a matter of how much damage he could do. It's the fact that you and I each paid the same amount of money for our seats.

[Janet]

He was playing. You never been around children that play.

[Show Host]

Yeah, but your child was ruining his Braves experience. And you paid just as much for his tickets as you did for yours and your kids.

[Janet]

But grown ups should learn how to play with children. And he was playing. He was just having a good time. He wasn't crying, he was laughing and he was just talking the way that kids talk. He wasn't bothering anybody but you.

[Dana]

Yeah, and that's enough like, isn't it?

[Janet]

Do you think that the Braves would rather have us there with our eight tickets or you with your two?

[Show Host]

Well, because there's a possibility the Braves would say Jeff and Jessica, because if you bring your kids and other people around, have the same experience that Jeff had, they'll stop coming to the Braves games.

[Janet]

Well, people. People like that need to go out to the museum or to the movies or to a play or something. Not to a game, because that's where children are. Families take their children to enjoy the game, to get some culture, to have a good experience, to get some fresh air.

[Dana]

Have you. Have you, Janet, ever apologized for anything in your entire life?

[Janet]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

If I'm wrong, you don't see yourself in the wrong at all here.

[Janet]

No, the child was just having a good time.

[Dana]

Do you agree that the child was disturbing me?

[Janet]

The child is high energy and high energy kids move around and, you know, probably become big stars later on.

[Show Host]

Can we give the child a name so we don't keep referring to it as a child.

[Janet]

Exhibit name, but you might, you know, talk about Justin and, you know, and I may not like it, but his name is Justin.

[Show Host]

All right.

[Janet]

He wasn't bothering him.

[Dana]

He was bothering me. Yes, he was. Stop saying he wasn't bothering me. I'm me. I know what was bothering me. What if I was sitting next to you, Janet, and I had a big foam tomahawk and I kept swinging it in your face and I was moving around.

[Janet]

You're grow a grown man swinging a tomahawk. Hitting somebody is wrong. You should be put in jail for that. That's not like a little child, three years old. A little three year old, cute three year old.

[Dana]

I can't tell you how much I hate people like Janet always.

[Show Host]

Stop.

[Janet]

It's wrong to hate.

[Show Host]

I just don't understand why. I don't understand why your ticket and your experience is so much more important than Jeff's at the game.

[Dana]

Is it because there are eight of you there?

[Janet]

There are eight of us. We are family. So, you know, I got my family with me and Justin's just a child. He's cute, he's nice, and he just has a. Likes to have a lot of fun.

[Dana]

On the phone with sister Sledge right now.

[Janet]

Y' all need to just grow up.

[Jen]

Jen, I want to ask you a question. I know that I've heard so, so many times from people who don't have children who say, well, you know, you shouldn't bring your kids out to certain things because there are adults there. And I heard you give Jeff the argument that, you know, kids. Kids are at the Braves game, so if adults don't like it, they shouldn't go. How do you feel when people tell you a kid does not belong? Like, you shouldn't take your kid that young to movie.

[Janet]

Nobody's gonna tell me where to take my child. I take my child where I want to take my. Because it's my child, and if I want him to have a good experience, I take him along.

[Dana]

So you're basically. What you're saying is that your world is more important than anyone else's you encounter?

[Janet]

I'm just saying that I'm trying to show my child the world around him. And if people don't like it or people who don't have children, see, you don't have any children, and I really hope you never do.

[Show Host]

Janet, how about the lesson of manners? There's a lesson that your kid might not be getting.

[Janet]

Well, there's nothing I can say to him that's gonna make him not be a child. You know, I moved his hand and moved his hand once.

[Zoe]

But let me ask you a question. Jeff said that you never apologized to him. You know, you just.

[Janet]

I looked at him and looked at me, I would have known what it meant.

[Zoe]

Well, I think if you would have apologized to him, maybe it would have made Jeff feel a lot better and he wouldn't have been so upset about this.

[Janet]

There's no reason to say sorry. He's a child. He's just a child playing, entertained by things around him. He just found, you know, it was a nice day. We weren't bothering to bother anybody. You know, I can't even have this conversation anymore because unlike you, I got a life and things to do. So, you know, I'm getting off the phone and Jeff, you wrong. You're just wrong for this because this is a little child. When you have children, you will understand and then we can talk. But until then, you know, I'm sorry that you were sitting next to us. I've got 10 phone lines.

[Dana]

Oh my God. God, I hate people like that.

[Janet]

The Bird show.

[Giggly Squad Advertiser]

This is Hannah Burner from giggly squad. Opill is the first over the counter daily birth control pill available in the US. Let's be real. Getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control. Between scheduling appointments, missing work class or just trying to exist, it's a lot. But now opail is putting birth control in our control. Opill is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free and 98 effective when used as directed. Grab it online or at most major retailers. No prescription or doctor's appointment needed. So if you're thinking about birth control, check out opill to see if it's right for you. Use code giggly for 25% off your first month of opill@o p I l l dot com. That's code giggly at o p I l l dot com. Birth control in your control. We love to see it.

[Jeff Bridges]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Zoe]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeff Bridges]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you. Teach me. So.

[Dana]

Dana.

[Zoe]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Jeff Bridges]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best.

[Medical Advertiser]

Nice.

[Zoe]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Jeff Bridges]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition so what are we having for launch?

[Zoe]

Dude my work here is done.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

24 month bill credits on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit same and balance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel Finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 and new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Ooklab Speed Test Intelligence data 1H 2025 visit t mobile.com for.

[Medical Advertiser]

Adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremphya offers self injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremphya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self inject Tremphya, proper training is required. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about tremphya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremphyaradio. Com.