The Bert Show: Vault – Jeff’s Trip to the Ballpark

Episode Date: October 31, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jeff, and Guests

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show highlights a hilariously authentic (and contentious) exchange between Jeff and a fellow baseball game attendee, Janet, after a fraught ballpark experience. The focal point: Jeff confronts Janet about her young child’s disruptive behavior at a Braves game, sparking a heated debate about parenting, public etiquette, and who “owns” the right to enjoy America’s favorite pastime.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jeff’s Ballpark Outrage (02:15–03:14)

• Summary:
  Jeff describes his frustrating outing at the ballpark. Sitting next to Janet and her restless toddler, Jeff feels his enjoyment is severely disrupted. He asks Janet to control her child, but instead of an apology, Janet doubles down.
• Notable Quote (Jeff/Dana):

  “This woman, this child was just all over the place… I leaned over and said to the woman, 'You know what? You got to control your kid…' And her response was, 'He’s three years old. You need to be a little more understanding and patient.'” (02:24–03:00)

2. Janet Calls In – The Great Debate Begins (03:14–04:48)

• Summary:
  The show brings Janet, the mother in question, on the line. A back-and-forth identification of what Jeff was wearing at the game confirms she is, indeed, the right Janet.
  Janet expresses indignation at being called out, arguing children belong at games—and so do their noisy, playful ways.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    "Families take their children to baseball games. Do you know that? My family, we bought eight tickets... My child was not anything but being. You are just wrong. You're just wrong." (04:18–04:48)

  • Jeff/Dana:

    “Right, but your child was being a child. He was hitting us with a foam tomahawk.” (04:48–04:52)

3. Escalating Arguments: Child’s Rights vs. Shared Experience (04:52–06:42)

• Summary:
  Jeff and Janet spar about whether a child's right to play trumps an adult’s desire for a peaceful ballgame. Janet insists Jeff is simply out of touch (“you don’t have any kids”). Jeff argues for a basic level of public consideration, regardless of age.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    “He’s three years old. How much damage could he do?... Grown ups should learn how to play with children... He wasn’t bothering anybody but you.” (04:52–05:14)

  • Show Host (to Janet):

    "I just don't understand why your ticket and your experience is so much more important than Jeff's at the game." (06:57–07:04)

4. Entitlement and “Family First” Logic (05:29–07:16)

• Summary:
  Janet invokes her family’s numeric and financial contribution to the stadium (eight tickets vs. Jeff’s two) as validation for her position. She argues families are what make games fun and cultural, and that detractors should go to museums or plays.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    "Do you think that the Braves would rather have us there with our eight tickets or you with your two?" (05:29–05:34)
    "People like that need to go out to the museum or to the movies or to a play or something. Not to a game, because that's where children are." (05:45–05:59)

5. Refusal to Apologize, “Kids Will Be Kids” Doctrine (06:59–08:10)

• Summary:
  Show hosts push Janet on the concept of manners, apology, and empathy for others’ perspectives. Janet refuses to apologize, standing firm that "kids will be kids" and that non-parents lack understanding.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Janet:

    “There's no reason to say sorry. He's a child. He's just a child playing, entertained by things around him.” (08:38–08:48)
    "I'm just saying that I'm trying to show my child the world around him. And if people don't like it... see, you don't have any children, and I really hope you never do." (07:55–08:04)

6. Jeff’s Frustration and the Debate's Aftermath (09:10)

• Summary:
  Janet abruptly ends the call, leaving the cast exasperated. Jeff’s exasperation is clear as the group comments on stubbornness, entitlement, and the endless debate between parents and non-parents in public spaces.
• Notable Quote (Dana/Jeff):

  "Oh my god. God, I hate people like that." (09:10–09:13)

Memorable Moments & Standout Quotes

• On confirming Janet's identity:
  “The guy that was sitting next to me had a black T-shirt and these black sunglasses that he thought he looked so good in.” — Janet (03:57–04:07)

• On the perspective gap:
  "If you want to come to a baseball game, then you need to be aware of the fact that that's where children are. Families take their children to baseball games. Do you know that?" — Janet (04:18–04:23)

• On the collision of worlds:
  “So you're basically... what you're saying is that your world is more important than anyone else's you encounter?” — Dana (07:51–07:55)

• On the philosophy of apology:
  "There's no reason to say sorry. He's a child. He's just a child playing…" — Janet (08:38–08:48)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Jeff describes the ballpark incident: 02:24–03:14
• Janet calls in, confirms her identity: 03:14–04:11
• Debate erupts between Jeff and Janet: 04:18–07:04
• Hosts challenge Janet’s perspective: 07:04–08:48
• Janet hangs up, hosts vent: 09:10–09:13

Tone and Takeaway

The conversation is unfiltered, authentic, and laced with both humor and frustration. The Bert Show doesn’t shy away from tough, real-life social encounters, providing listeners with relatable drama and characteristically sharp commentary. The central dilemma—should everyone at a family-friendly event be expected to tolerate kids’ misbehavior?—remains unresolved, but listeners are left with plenty to chew on (and laugh at) for their morning commute.