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Jeff Bridges
Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.
Dana
Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?
Jeff Bridges
Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So Dana.
Dana
Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.
Jeff Bridges
Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice.
Host 1
You heard them.
Jeff Bridges
T mobile is the best place to.
Host 2
Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition.
Jeff Bridges
So what are we having for launching?
Dana
Dude, my work here is done.
T-Mobile Announcer
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Catherine
Warning.
Zyn Nicotine Announcer
This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Host 1
This is the Birch Show.
Host 2
The following is not a Birch show listener. I'll put a little separation between us because all of our listeners are so.
Host 3
Helpless, we don't want to be associated with her.
Jeff Bridges
Right?
Host 2
But I guess producer Tracy got an email from Catherine's friend a couple of days ago chipping her off that Katherine is 31 years old. 31. And she decided to go down to spring break and hang out with a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds.
Host 3
High school.
Host 2
High school. And at first we thought she was just going down there to chaperone, which would have been fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But she's not chaperone. I mean she is right in the thick of things. I mean she's partying with these 16 and 17 years olds. You'll hear in this replay she was at like a Foam party, wet T shirt contest, making out with 19 year olds, and she thinks there's nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, I got. Did you guys get some emails yesterday from people that were upset with us, mad that we were judging that she's, she's 31 years old, she's young enough to do what she wants.
Host 3
That's crazy. First of all, what is going on with our listeners because first they endorse a guy who's dating his sister and then secondly, now it's okay to hang out with 17 year old when you're 31.
Host 2
Yeah.
Host 3
Huh.
Host 2
A bunch of these emails. Not just one, like five or six, going, leave her alone, leave her alone. Listen to this. Hey, Katherine.
Catherine
Yeah, hey.
Host 2
Hi. You're on the voice disguiser.
Catherine
Oh, really? Does sound like a robot a little bit.
Host 2
Yeah. I mean, you can't hear it in the phone and all, but yeah, you sound a little bit like a robot. Yes. All right, Catherine, Catherine, you're 31 years old.
Catherine
Yep.
Host 2
All right. And you are hanging out. We're not going to mention the city because Jeff said you want to have your identity, identity totally protected. So we're not going to mention what city that you're in. Partying. But you are at a heavy spring break destination.
Catherine
That's right.
Host 2
With a whole bunch of 16 and 17 year olds.
Catherine
Yeah, yeah. I decided to go on, on spring break because I never went when I was that age. So down partying it up.
Host 2
Who are these 16 and 17 year olds? How do they know them and, or how do you know them? And I'm curious, like how you even ask them to go.
Catherine
Well, they're actually my next door neighbors. I live next to a bunch of teenage girls and you know, we're friendly and they were talking about how they were going on spring break and you know, I mentioned that I had never gone when I was their age and they were like, oh, you totally have to go. And you know, I was like, you know what? Why not? So I, you know, I went with them.
Host 1
Could I throw out an answer to the why not question and you can just tell us.
Catherine
Okay.
Host 1
You're 14 years older than them.
Catherine
Yeah, I mean, I know that, but I, there's nothing, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm just going and I'm having a good time. I'm just hanging out with them. There's nothing weird going on. They're just, you know, partying and so am I.
Host 2
Do their parents know that you're down there with them?
Catherine
I don't think so. I mean, they didn't, I mean, they don't. I don't think they need to know. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just hanging out, going to clubs.
Host 1
You realize like in Hiram county you could be their mom.
Catherine
I mean, I really, I don't. I mean, I look really young myself, but I don't. I'm not saying that I'm young. I mean, if anybody asks me, I tell them how old I am. I'm just going to have a good time.
Host 2
So if you're hanging out on the beach and some 18 year old comes up to you and he says, hey, hi, blah, blah, blah, starts making small talk and asks you how old you are, you say, I'm 31.
Catherine
Yeah, I do. I mean, I'm not wearing a button that says it or anything, but I'll tell someone if they ask me. I'm not hiding anything, I'm just hanging out.
Host 3
They probably would ask what grade you're in. These are high schoolers on springboard.
Host 1
How do you answer that? What grade are you in? Well, I've graduated. Oh, last year. No.
Host 2
Well, and to an 18 year old guy, if he asks how old you are and you say 31, that's gonna intrigue him more probably than with another 18 year old.
Catherine
Actually, I found it's been working in my favor, but I mean, I'm not, you know, what are you doing here?
Host 2
What do you mean by working in your favor?
Catherine
I actually, I made out with someone, but he was in college.
Host 3
How old was he?
Host 1
What year of college?
Catherine
A sophomore, but I mean he was, you know, 19.
Host 1
20.
Catherine
Yeah, he's 19 around, you know, he's legal.
Host 3
How old was he?
Catherine
He's 20, but I mean that's. Oh, that's, you know, as far as.
Host 1
I've said, I mean, in a year.
Catherine
He could drink a big deal.
Host 1
He's practically elderly.
Catherine
Yeah.
Host 3
Imagining to hang out with a sick. I have no desire to hang out with 16 year old Catherine. I want to ask, when the neighbors said, oh, you should totally go, did you mistake them for saying, oh, you should go down for Spring Bay? Be cool to go with them? I mean, did they really ask you to go with them?
Catherine
Well, when they found out that I had never been, they were like, you gotta come with us. So they did ask me to go with them. And I was like, in high school, I sorta didn't really have too many friends. I wasn't very popular, so I never got a chance to go. So I was like you know what I'm gonna take? I'm just gonna. You know, this is my chance, you know, and I'm 31 now. I feel more confident. I feel like, also in high school I was a little overweight, and now I feel like I look good in a bathing suit.
Host 3
Well, go to the beach with 31 year olds.
Catherine
Yeah.
Host 3
You're happy?
Catherine
Yeah, I gotta. I have a.
Host 2
What did you guys do last night? Have you been hanging out with these 16 and 17 year olds and going from party to party? Like, give me a good example of what 24 hours looks like for you with these 16 and 17 year olds.
Catherine
Excuse me. Actually, I'm sorry. We had, like, a really late night last night. Everybody is sleeping. I'm on the patio. We went to a club. I don't want to say which one. There was like. There was a foam dancing, you know, where they fill the room with foam. Foam party, yeah. That was crazy. And there's like. What else did we do? Some people were doing body shots, but nobody I was with.
Host 2
They're 16 and 17 years old and doing shots. So there are clubs that are letting the 16 year olds in and they have fake IDs.
Catherine
I guess. I mean, I don't need one, but of course not.
Host 1
You know what? They're probably looking at yours going, hold on a minute. This has got to be fake. It says you're 31.
Catherine
Yeah, no, I look. I look really young, but I am 31.
Host 3
And you don't look 16.
Catherine
That is. That's true.
Host 2
So, foam party. You guys are doing shots together?
Catherine
Oh, there was a wet T shirt contest and that I did participate in. I mean, it was crazy.
Host 2
You did not.
Catherine
Oh, I did. I did. I. I mean, I didn't win, but I was, you know, contestant.
Host 1
It was.
Catherine
It was wild.
Host 3
Do your boobs look 31 or do they look 16?
Catherine
Maybe they're 25.
Host 1
Okay, what have you told. Because obviously you're, you know, taking time off of work and you're away from whatever, so where does everyone think you are right now?
Catherine
They think I'm home with my family in Ohio.
Host 2
With your family?
Catherine
Well, I didn't want it. I mean, I have clients and I didn't want. Ned.
Host 2
No, no, no, no, no. You're home with your family.
Catherine
That's what I. Yeah, that's.
Host 1
Parents.
Host 2
Her parents.
Host 1
Okay. In Ohio. Oh, okay. I got you.
Catherine
Right?
Host 3
You thought that meant.
Host 2
Yeah, I thought maybe she had children on stage.
Host 3
Oh, I gotcha.
Catherine
Oh, no, no, no. I don't have any kids.
Host 2
Oh. Sorry for saying that maybe you were weird.
Host 1
So dragon crazy.
Catherine
Whoa.
Host 2
That have been strange.
Host 3
Just curious.
Catherine
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Host 2
Are you kidding me, Katherine? This is so sick. This is so weird and so twisted. You're 31 years old and you're in wet T shirt contests with a whole bunch of 16 and 17 year olds. You're making out with 19 year old guys.
Catherine
He was gonna be 20 in a month.
Host 1
Are you guys gonna all get matching class of 07 tattoos?
Catherine
No.
Host 1
A little 07 in the small of your back?
Host 3
Are you just gonna go get airbrushed on a license plate?
Catherine
No, I mean, it's just, we're just having a good time, you know, I'm not like chaperoning them. They're not doing anything that weird. They're just acting like everybody else down there and I guess so am I.
Host 3
What are your conversations like with a 16 year old? I mean, what do you guys have in common?
Host 2
Do you have a MySpace count?
Catherine
Actually, I do.
Host 1
So are people asking you for your MySpace?
Catherine
Yeah, I give it to them. You know, it says my real age on it. Says my age on there. I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm.
Host 2
Like, Catherine, let me break this down for you. MySpace messaged me you were socially awkward back in high school and you're socially awkward today.
Catherine
No, I'm doing well. I got a ton of numbers.
Host 2
Do you realize that all these 16 and 17 year old people are laughing at you?
Host 1
No, they're not.
Host 2
Absolutely, man. 31 year old in a wet T shirt contest.
Host 1
No, they're not.
Host 2
Absolutely.
Sleep Number Announcer
No, they're not.
Host 1
They love the fact that she is down there.
Host 2
She's a parody.
Host 1
Nope, they love it. If you're 17 years old and you're the one who convinces the 30 year old to get to come down to spring break and party with you, guess what? That makes a lot of things a lot easier. They love it.
Host 2
Whatcha?
Catherine
Yeah.
Host 3
Are you buying all of them beer?
Catherine
No, I haven't, but you know, there was a time where I didn't have my wallet and they spotted me some margaritas, so.
Host 2
They bought you margaritas, Catherine. Hold on a second.
Sleep Number Announcer
Mike.
Catherine
Yeah.
Host 2
You don't see a problem with this?
Catherine
No, I don't see a problem at all. As long as she's not buying them beer or liquor. They didn't. They didn't want her to come down for that. But if I was 17, where was she at? How was that?
Host 1
Spring break.
Host 2
It's nasty, dude. I mean, come on. If this was Mike if you had.
Host 3
To be fair, you have to switch it around. If it was a guy down there doing the same thing, we can't be easy on Catherine.
Host 2
Yeah. Mike, is this cool? If it's a 31 year old dude that's hanging out there with 16, 17 year old girls, but no, he wouldn't.
Catherine
Be hanging out with 20 year olds.
Host 1
He'D be with guys.
Catherine
He didn't say she was making out with a 16 year old.
Host 3
She's making out with a 19 year old.
Host 1
Right, but still I think we just.
Host 3
He's a 19 year old.
Host 1
The guy would be down there looking guys looking for sex, but he'd be going down with a group of guys. So I wouldn't like. If it's a guy going down with a group of girls, I'm calling like.
Host 3
No, but it's still creepy to have a 30 something sitting there if I'm a 17 year old on the beach.
Host 2
Yes, yes.
Host 1
I'm still wasted, man. I used to have eczema.
Host 3
That's nasty.
Host 2
Good morning, Trina.
Catherine
Good morning. Hey, when you stop getting spring breaks from school, you should stop going on.
Host 3
Spring break, spring break from work then that'd be fun on a T shirt and send it to Katherine.
Catherine
You guys are making me feel old.
Host 3
Well, guess what?
Host 2
Compared to who you're hanging out with, you are.
Host 3
Yeah, in context you are.
Host 1
Well, you're allowed to drive after nine. Doesn't that make you feel old given the crowd you're hanging out with? You don't have to have a licensed adult in the car with you when you drive.
Catherine
Yeah, well, you know, we're getting along really well and you know, if they ever did anything like crazy or something I thought was dangerous, I'd be like, hey, you know, don't do that. I'm not. It's not like I'm chaperoning them, but if they were gonna do something really messed up, I would say like, come on, don't do that. If there is like, I'm totally like, do whatever.
Host 2
If there is nothing awkward about what you're doing, then I don't think there is. Then why did we switch your name and why are you on the voice disguiser?
Catherine
Well, I just think like I, I mean from your reactions and stuff, I could see. I'm glad that I did because not everybody is. People are kind of close minded about stuff like that, you know, like I don't, I mean I work and I have a lot of clients and I work in an 8 and. Well, I guess I, I can tell you I work in like an advertising kind of agency and I wouldn't want my clients to know. I, you know, I just think that not everybody is, you know, as open minded as myself, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Host 1
Well, if you're marketing Dora the Explorer, you might. You're getting close to the wheelhouse there.
Catherine
Well, I'm, you know, I don't think there's, I'm not doing anything. I really am not.
Host 3
I'm so curious as why you're the adult neighbors of yours don't know that you're down there with them.
Catherine
I didn't. Well, I don't feel like I need to tell them. I mean, they're not my parents. Why do I. I don't understand.
Host 3
It does seem like you're hiding something.
Host 2
Of course you are.
Host 1
If you told your co workers that you're going to visit family in Ohio. Does your family know you have this time off and where do they think you are?
Catherine
They, they don't know. Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, I just don't want to deal with, you know, I'm trying to have a good, good time. I don't want to deal with somebody like parting my trip, basically.
Host 2
Sorry if I killed your buzz. Sorry if I'm being a buzz kill.
Host 1
I think you should be. I think you should be like a. I think you should step out and boldly say who you are and I think you should try to change society's norms. I think you should try to make this world a better place. I think, I think.
Host 3
Where's the gap between it generations?
Host 1
I think you should be. Yeah, I, I, yeah, I think we should think of you here in Atlanta is like Andrew Young, Martin Luther King pioneer. And Catherine making, making the world a better place for the oppressed 16 year old partiers. That'll be your cause.
Catherine
Thank you.
Host 1
You're welcome.
Host 2
All right, Catherine, we're gonna let you go. Go have a good time.
Catherine
All right.
Host 1
This is the Birch show.
Jeff Bridges
Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.
Dana
Jeff Bridges. Why are you still living above our garage?
Jeff Bridges
Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you. Teach me. So, Dana.
Dana
Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.
Jeff Bridges
Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice.
Dana
Jeffrey, you heard them.
Jeff Bridges
T Mobile is the best place to.
Host 2
Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition.
Jeff Bridges
So what are we having for launch?
Dana
Dude, my work here is done.
T-Mobile Announcer
The 24 month credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credit send and balance due if you pay off earlier Cancel Finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 and new line minimum $100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oaklove Speedtest Intelligence data 1H 2025 Visit t mobile.com.
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Dana
Can I make my site softer?
Host 1
Can I make my site firmer?
Host 2
Can we sleep cooler?
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Zyn Nicotine Announcer
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In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into a controversial and lively discussion about Kathryn, a 31-year-old woman who decided to spend spring break partying with a group of 16 and 17-year-olds. The hosts examine the ethical and social implications, challenge Kathryn’s justifications, and debate where boundaries should be drawn when it comes to age and social circles. The segment blends humor, disbelief, and pointed questions while both criticizing and attempting to understand Kathryn’s viewpoint.
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Email about Kathryn and setup of segment | | 02:18 | Kathryn joins the show via voice disguiser | | 03:12 | Kathryn explains how she got invited | | 05:18 | Kathryn reveals she made out with a 19-year-old at spring break | | 06:31 | Kathryn discusses her reason for going—missed out as a teen, feels better now | | 07:13 | Kathryn describes party activities: foam parties, body shots (not her), wet T-shirt contest | | 08:26 | Kathryn shares what she told her employer—lied about being with family | | 09:13 | Hosts banter about tattoos, MySpace, and being out of place | | 10:02 | Hosts warn Kathryn the teens are likely mocking her | | 11:05 | Double standard discussion—if roles were reversed | | 12:37 | Hosts challenge Kathryn: why the secrecy if what she's doing is innocent | | 13:13 | Kathryn claims open-mindedness as justification | | 14:17 | Hosts jokingly liken Kathryn to a civil rights pioneer |
The episode expertly balances comedic banter and heartfelt questioning as the hosts press Kathryn on her motivations and the boundaries of adult behavior among teens. While Kathryn insists she’s just “making up for lost time” and enjoying herself, the hosts and listeners contest the social appropriateness—and safety—of her actions. The dynamic discussion is peppered with sharp wit and skepticism, underlining broader societal debates about age, maturity, and social roles.
This episode is ideal for listeners who enjoy candid, provocative conversations that blend real-life dilemmas with humor and insight—delivered in the Bert Show’s signature no-holds-barred style.