The Bert Show – "Vault: Kathryn's Spring Break" (November 3, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into a controversial and lively discussion about Kathryn, a 31-year-old woman who decided to spend spring break partying with a group of 16 and 17-year-olds. The hosts examine the ethical and social implications, challenge Kathryn’s justifications, and debate where boundaries should be drawn when it comes to age and social circles. The segment blends humor, disbelief, and pointed questions while both criticizing and attempting to understand Kathryn’s viewpoint.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Kathryn’s Situation

• The show kicks off with Producer Tracy bringing an email to the crew’s attention: Kathryn, a 31-year-old, has joined her teenage neighbors (aged 16–17) on a classic spring break trip—not as a chaperone, but as a full participant in the festivities.
• The hosts are initially shocked and clarify she’s partying with the teens, not supervising, including activities like foam parties and wet T-shirt contests. (01:11–01:59)

2. Listener Backlash and Show’s Reaction

• Multiple listeners emailed the show, defending Kathryn’s right to do as she wishes, leading the hosts to question the moral barometer of their audience.
• "What is going on with our listeners because first they endorse a guy who's dating his sister and then secondly, now it's okay to hang out with 17 year old when you're 31?" (Host, 02:00–02:09)

3. Direct Conversation with Kathryn

• Kathryn calls in using a voice disguiser (producers also hide her exact location). She admits she’s attending the trip because she "never went when I was that age" and sees nothing wrong with it. (02:18–02:52)
• She describes being invited by her teenage neighbors, justifying her presence by citing a lack of high school experiences and newfound confidence as an adult. (03:12–03:38; 06:02–06:31)
• "I wasn't very popular, so I never got a chance to go. So I was like, you know what... I'm 31 now. I feel more confident. I feel like also in high school I was a little overweight and now I feel like I look good in a bathing suit." (Kathryn, 06:04–06:31)

4. Moral and Social Concerns Raised

• Hosts delve into whether teenage parents know Kathryn is present, her role on the trip, and what activities they’re engaging in (clubs, foam parties, body shots).
• Kathryn admits to making out with a 19-year-old college student and participating in a wet T-shirt contest. She maintains transparency about her age to anyone who asks. (05:18–05:39; 07:53)
• "You’re 31 years old and you’re in wet T-shirt contests with a whole bunch of 16 and 17 year olds. You’re making out with 19 year old guys." (Host, 08:59–09:11)
• The hosts openly question the appropriateness of her actions, highlighting the absurdity and boundary-crossing. (09:13 onward)

5. The Double Standard Debate

• The hosts raise an important point about gender: would society react differently if a 31-year-old man was socializing similarly with teenage girls? Most agree it would be seen as even more problematic, but stress the current scenario is still concerning. (11:04–11:39)
• "If it was a guy down there doing the same thing, we can't be easy on Catherine." (Host, 11:05–11:10)
• "Creepy to have a 30 something sitting there if I'm a 17 year old on the beach." (Host, 11:35–11:38)

6. Transparency and Concealment

• Kathryn admits she told work and others that she was "home with family in Ohio" and feels no need to broadcast the real reason for her absence. The hosts point out that secrecy is indicative of knowing her actions are questionable. (08:26–08:44; 13:33–14:02)
• "Then why did we switch your name and why are you on the voice disguiser?" (Host, 12:37–12:40)
• Kathryn claims it’s to avoid judgment and because not everyone is “open-minded.” (12:41–13:16)

7. Generational Gaps and Self-Perception

• Kathryn feels she’s finally enjoying the youth she missed out on, but the hosts repeatedly question her motivations and anticipate teen ridicule. (09:52–10:13)
• "Do you realize that all these 16 and 17 year old people are laughing at you?" (Host, 10:02–10:08)
• Kathryn retorts: "No, I’m doing well. I got a ton of numbers." (Kathryn, 09:59–10:02)

8. Closing Riffs & Lighthearted Barbs

• The segment ends with playful jabs: suggestions about getting “class of ’07 tattoos” (09:13–09:22), a tongue-in-cheek comparison to civil rights pioneers (14:17–14:40), and jokes about age and driving privileges (12:04–12:12).
• Ultimately, the hosts issue a mix of stern admonishment, humor, and disbelief as they bid Kathryn farewell.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the oddness of Kathryn joining spring break:
  • "You're 14 years older than them." (Host, 03:48–03:51)
• On the wet T-shirt contest:
  • "You did not." (Host, 07:59)
  • "Oh, I did. I did. I... didn't win, but I was, you know, contestant. It was wild." (Kathryn, 07:59–08:07)
• On secrecy and why she hides her activity:
  • "Then why did we switch your name and why are you on the voice disguiser?" (Host, 12:37–12:40)
  • "Not everybody is as open-minded as myself. But I really don't think there's anything wrong with it." (Kathryn, 13:13–13:16)
• On double standards:
  • "If it was a guy down there doing the same thing, we can't be easy on Catherine." (Host, 11:05–11:10)
• On the generational divide:
  • "Compared to who you're hanging out with, you are [old]." (Host, 12:00)
  • "Well, you're allowed to drive after nine. Doesn't that make you feel old given the crowd you're hanging out with?" (Host, 12:04–12:12)

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Email about Kathryn and setup of segment | | 02:18 | Kathryn joins the show via voice disguiser | | 03:12 | Kathryn explains how she got invited | | 05:18 | Kathryn reveals she made out with a 19-year-old at spring break | | 06:31 | Kathryn discusses her reason for going—missed out as a teen, feels better now | | 07:13 | Kathryn describes party activities: foam parties, body shots (not her), wet T-shirt contest | | 08:26 | Kathryn shares what she told her employer—lied about being with family | | 09:13 | Hosts banter about tattoos, MySpace, and being out of place | | 10:02 | Hosts warn Kathryn the teens are likely mocking her | | 11:05 | Double standard discussion—if roles were reversed | | 12:37 | Hosts challenge Kathryn: why the secrecy if what she's doing is innocent | | 13:13 | Kathryn claims open-mindedness as justification | | 14:17 | Hosts jokingly liken Kathryn to a civil rights pioneer |

Summary Flow

The episode expertly balances comedic banter and heartfelt questioning as the hosts press Kathryn on her motivations and the boundaries of adult behavior among teens. While Kathryn insists she’s just “making up for lost time” and enjoying herself, the hosts and listeners contest the social appropriateness—and safety—of her actions. The dynamic discussion is peppered with sharp wit and skepticism, underlining broader societal debates about age, maturity, and social roles.

This episode is ideal for listeners who enjoy candid, provocative conversations that blend real-life dilemmas with humor and insight—delivered in the Bert Show’s signature no-holds-barred style.