Vault: Kids' haircuts spark big debates

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Kids’ haircuts spark big debates
Date: August 4, 2026
Cast Featured: Justin, Katie Jo, and multiple co-hosts

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Episode Overview

In this lively, authentic episode, The Bert Show dives into a surprisingly passionate parenting debate: children's haircuts—specifically, just how much autonomy kids should have over their hairstyles. The conversation centers on Justin and his girlfriend Katie Jo's very different opinions about what haircuts say about parenting, self-expression, and tradition. The cast playfully examines personal anecdotes, generational shifts, and the sometimes arbitrary nature of parenting battles, delivering laughs, thoughtful insights, and memorable moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Parenting Philosophies (00:51–01:36)

• Justin reveals that he and his girlfriend Katie Jo agree on almost all major parenting issues—discipline, schooling, college, etc.—but hit a major snag when it comes to children’s haircuts.
  • Quote: “When it comes to whether we’re going to spank our kids—check. … When it comes to whether we would homeschool our kids or not—check. … But one, one fundamental difference we have is haircuts.” (00:51, Justin)

2. The Great Haircut Debate: Tradition vs. Expression (01:37–04:00)

• Katie Jo has strong, traditional opinions about what boys’ and girls’ hair “should” look like: neat, clean-cut, girls with long hair.
• Justin takes a more modern, relaxed stance, seeing funky or unconventional hair choices as a form of self-expression, especially for older kids and teens.
  • Quote: “If you’re gonna dye your hair, if you’re gonna cut your hair, if you’re gonna do something funky, I mean, do whatever you’re gonna do. … I do see it as a form of expression.” (02:28, Justin)
• Justin notes Katie Jo’s particular aversion to shaggy, long hairstyles on boys—think early Justin Bieber. She becomes visibly agitated when seeing them in public.
  • Memorable Moment: “She almost like slammed her coffee cup down.” (02:28, Justin)

3. Parenting Hypotheticals & Double-Standards (04:00–05:00)

• The group riffs on celebrity parenting (Kate Hudson’s son Ryder’s long hair) and whether Katie Jo would assert her views by stealthily getting a child’s hair cut to her liking.
  • Quote: “She would have. No, she would never let that happen. ... She would cut the kid’s hair at home, you know what I mean?” (04:00, Justin)
• Discussion broadens to include fashion—colors for boys versus girls—but quickly returns to the core issue: hair as a sticking point, not clothing.
  • Quote: “The clothes have nothing to do with the conversation. Everything has to do with the hair.” (06:00, Justin)

4. Reflecting on Childhood Haircuts and Autonomy (06:23–07:06)

• Katie Jo and others share childhood experiences, with most recounting zero say in their own haircuts—parents made all the choices.
  • Quote: “I don’t think I ever had an issue like with hair. Like I don’t ever remember asking for a certain style haircut.” (06:23, Katie Jo)
• The group jokes about the classic “bowl cut” and other universal childhood haircut experiences, invoking playful self-deprecation.
  • Memorable Moment: “So like for Katie Jo, they would, you know, if she’s cutting hair, she would put like a little soup bowl over the kid’s head. With me, they were actually using hubcaps and stuff. Age six tires.” (07:05, Katie Jo)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On parenting unity—until haircuts: (00:51, Justin)
  “We have talked about being parents and my embryos are in a freezer here in Atlanta. So we are on our way to be parents… and I think you need to be on the same page with that before you have children. … But one, one fundamental difference we have is haircuts.”

• On radical hair as expression: (02:28, Justin)
  “If you’re gonna dye your hair, if you’re gonna cut your hair, if you’re gonna do something funky, I mean, do whatever you’re gonna do. Do whatever you’re gonna do. Because I do see it as a form of expression.”

• On fashion flexibility vs. hair rigidity: (06:00, Justin)
  “The clothes have nothing to do with the conversation. Everything has to do with the hair. … If you are somebody with that shaggy haircut, especially Justin Bieber. … If he was in studio and she was in studio, she would kidnap him and shave his head.”

• Childhood haircut nostalgia & humor: (07:05, Katie Jo)
  “If she’s cutting hair, she would put like a little soup bowl over the kid’s head. With me, they were actually using hubcaps and stuff. Age six tires.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:51 – Parenting fundamentals: agreeing on almost everything except haircuts
• 02:00 – Katie Jo’s strong feelings and the infamous “shaggy Bieber” haircut
• 03:35 – Question of whether opinions apply equally to boys and girls
• 04:00 – Home haircut hypotheticals and control dynamics
• 06:00 – Why clothes aren’t the issue; it’s all about the hair
• 06:23 – Stories of childhood haircuts and generational differences
• 07:05 – The “soup bowl and hubcap” haircut joke

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a signature Bert Show blend of genuine debate, self-aware humor, and relatable parenting talk. Listeners are left pondering which hills they're willing to die on when it comes to raising kids—and whether hair really should be one of them. The debate about children's autonomy over their hair is both personal and universal, sparking nostalgia and laughter in equal measures.

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Transcript

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[Justin]

Here Bird Show Katie Jo and I have a fundamental parenting difference that we, that I have just discovered. So Katie and I have been together, my girlfriend, for four years now, and we have talked about being parents and my embryos are in a freezer here in Atlanta. So we are on our way to be parents in a couple years. But, you know, and so we've of course talked about parenting because I think it's very important before you have children to talk about how you will have and raise and what you do these children, because I think you need to be on the same page with that before you have children. But, you know, when it comes to whether or not we're going to spank our kids, check. We're on the same page on that. When it comes to whether we would homeschool our kids or not, Check. We are on the same page as that when it comes to, I mean, college, everything. Check, check, check. Everything. We're on the same page.

[Katie Jo]

You're not gonna homeschool your kids, right?

[Justin]

No.

[Katie Jo]

Yeah. I don't trust you.

[Justin]

But one, one fundamental difference we have is haircuts. We fight about kids haircuts every time we go out and see them. And especially boys haircuts, oddly enough, more so than girls. So even though I know Justin Bieber has made his haircut famous, that haircut's been around for a couple years before Justin Bieber, you know, was on the scene.

[Co-host]

Sure.

[Justin]

You know, that kind of shaggy, long haircut. This is just an example. So we're having the other morning, you know, the other weekend rather, and we're having breakfast on a Sunday morning and we're sitting there and there were, it was a family there with one of their kids who's like a teenage boy, and he has one of these shaggy haircuts and always has to kind of shake his head to get his hair out of his eyes like any guy with that haircut does, including Justin Bieber. And so he was doing that. Anyway, he was walking out and Katie almost like slammed her coffee cup down

[Katie Jo]

because she said, she's the randomly mad person, isn't she? Like, I thought it was you for a while, but she's the one who just gets feisty about odd things.

[Justin]

Well, I tend to get feisty about you things that I think are serious issues. And she's very laid back on most everything. But there are things that, yes, she will randomly get so angry about. And this haircut is one of them. And so I am one who. I'm just not that anal when it comes to haircuts and when it comes, especially teenagers, if you're gonna dye your hair, if you're gonna cut your hair, if you're gonna do something funky, I mean, do whatever you're gonna do. Do whatever you're gonna do. Because I do see it as a form of expression. I do get that. What's the big deal? Old school? Like, I think she wants, you know, she wants a traditional haircut, traditional hair, clean cut. She wants girls to have long hair and, you know, all the. All this. And so anyway, I just, I realized that. And that wasn't the only time that she has complained about that. But anytime that we're out and there's a haircut, I don't know whether it's. If it's a braids that just aren't quite symmetrical, if it's, you know, specifically

[Co-host]

for boys or she's critical about boys and girls.

[Justin]

I mean, it's boys and girls, but it ends up being about boys. Because I just think that sometimes the most radical hairstyles, the radical things you see are usually on a guy's head.

[Co-host]

So, like Kate Hudson's little boy, Ryder, she lets him have really, really long hair.

[Justin]

Oh, Katie would like.

[Co-host]

He almost looks like a girl. He's got that little boy had the longest hair. I mean, like halfway down his back. Like a little girl would have.

[Justin]

She would have. No, she would never let that happen. And even if I defended it and said, you know what? Just let him do. Now, a little, little kid, you know, that's. The parents are deciding that haircut. But if they're older and the kid's deciding what haircut they want, she would be that. Well, while I'm not there. Would cut the kids hair at home, you know what I mean? Like just.

[Katie Jo]

Oh, that's not allowed on the head.

[Co-host]

She would do it.

[Justin]

Yeah, she would do that. Yeah. So I just find it fascinating that she gets so upset about kids haircuts and we would have. The only fights we will have over our children are when they get older and what kind of haircut they have or hair color. Because the thing is, I don't care if a kid wants to dye their hair, but she would.

[Co-host]

What if you wanted to put boys in colors that would be typically girl

[Katie Jo]

colors, like a pink shirt or something?

[Justin]

We don't really. I mean, I'm just not fashion. I'm not fashionista. So I assume that most of the kids clothes decisions will be made by Katie. But so yeah, like for her is

[Co-host]

it like little boys should be in blue and little girls should be in pink?

[Justin]

Not necessarily.

[Co-host]

No.

[Justin]

That's what that boy gets her mad.

[Katie Jo]

I would trust that too. Because unfortunately one of the downfalls of working in radio, you know, is especially in the morning, like it is possible to go a day without seeing any professional person. So you can come in wearing like I'm wearing jeans and a T shirt. Jen, you're a little bit dressed up.

[Justin]

Jen's always dressed up.

[Katie Jo]

You look nice. And Melissa's got like a hoodie on and a T shirt and a ball cap. So I think if you have two

[Co-host]

Wendy hats on a cute hat.

[Katie Jo]

Yeah, Wendy's been stepping it up now. She's.

[Co-host]

I mean yours is cute, but it's a ball cap. Wendy's is a fashion cap. Jeff just skipped right by Wendy though. I just wanted to say something.

[Katie Jo]

Well, I know, but I can't.

[Justin]

Jin, you're cute. Jen, you're cute.

[Co-host]

Melissa.

[Justin]

God, could you do something with yourself?

[Katie Jo]

At least you got some form of

[Justin]

compliment or some form. I don't know. But anyway, go ahead.

[Katie Jo]

What I was saying is I think if you have, you know, two parents, I would trust the one putting the kid in the outfit who is actually out in public dealing with. I wouldn't never let a radio person dress the dress the kid.

[Justin]

But the clothes have nothing to do with the conversation. Everything has to do with the hair. I mean the clothes. I mean, I wouldn't care. I mean, yeah, I don't care, but yeah. So it's just, it's. If you are somebody with that shaggy haircut, especially Justin Bieber. If she got Justin Bieber, she'd hold him down herself. She would have shaved his head by

[Co-host]

now if she was holding down and cut it.

[Justin]

Yes. If he was in studio and she was in studio, she would kidnap him and shave his head.

[Katie Jo]

I remember when I was a kid, I don't think I ever had an issue like with hair. Like I don't ever remember asking for a certain style haircut. Like when does that, does that happen for guys as much as it does for girls?

[Co-host]

Probably not.

[Katie Jo]

Like, I think she would be able to get away with it with a boy because, I mean, maybe Justin Bieber's age, but I remember going to Bob's Barbershop with my dad and I don't think I ever said a word. I think I just sat down and I think it was a standard issue. Get the basic 8 year old boy haircut.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Katie Jo]

You know, and then your hair just naturally parts on one side or the other.

[Co-host]

They're all fancy.

[Katie Jo]

I also have an enormous head, which would make it difficult for them to know.

[Justin]

Well, that's a lot of hair to cover it.

[Katie Jo]

So like for Katie Jo, they would, you know, if she's cutting hair, she would put like a little soup bowl over the kid's head. With me, they were actually using hubcaps and stuff. Age six tires. Yes. They would actually go get a tire swing out of the. Or an inner tube that you would take down and go rafting and put it on my head. Well, good luck with the battle that you'll have in several years.

[Justin]

Right? Exactly.

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