Vault: Kids who accidentally told on their parents

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Kids Who Accidentally Told on Their Parents

Episode Date: August 6, 2026
Hosts: Bert Show Cast (Melissa, Bretzky, others)
Theme: Hilarious and cringe-worthy true stories of kids innocently—but embarrassingly—revealing their parents’ secrets.

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Main Theme Overview

This episode dives into moments when children have, with their candid honesty, accidentally exposed their parents’ secrets to others—be it teachers, family members, or even the broader community. The cast shares their own experiences, discusses a viral incident involving Michelle Obama and a second grader, and invites listeners to phone in with their most memorable “accidental narc” stories. The tone is lively, humorous, and full of relatable parent-child confessions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Inspiration: Viral 'Accidental Narc' Story (00:46 – 01:42)

• Melissa launches the topic with a national news story: during Michelle Obama’s visit to a second-grade class, a child blurted out that her mom doesn’t have the required citizenship papers.
• The First Lady responded kindly, but the moment was instantly recognizable to any parent whose child has ‘over-shared’ in public.
• Quote:

  “One of the kids said, you know what? Barack Obama's taking everybody away that doesn't have papers... but my mommy doesn't have papers.” – Melissa referencing the news story (01:19)

• Co-host:

  “The first lady said, accidental narc.” (01:40)

2. Teachers as the Recipients of Confessions (01:46 – 01:55)

• The hosts reflect on teachers being frequent recipients of revealing (and sometimes mortifying) admissions from students, sparking this episode’s theme.

3. The Hosts’ Personal Embarrassments (01:55 – 02:35)

• Melissa’s Story:
  • When her son Hayden was small, they fibbed about his age to get a free flight. Hayden blurted out his real age to the flight attendant.
  • Quote:

    “He was younger than he was and he narked on us. He’s like, ‘No, I’m not. I’m four.’” – Melissa (02:12)

  • Follow-up:

    “That’s a joke. I’m four years old. Please don’t charge me $300.” – Melissa (02:26)

  • Everyone laughs about kids’ inability to keep up ruses for their parents’ benefit.

4. Listener Call-Ins: The Best (Worst) Accidental Tattles

• Amanda: The Nipple Piercing Incident (02:35 – 02:57)

  • Amanda’s son told his grandmother (Amanda’s mom) about Amanda's nipple piercings, leading to a mortifying scolding from her own dad.
  • Quote:

    “My son found out and he so told my mom... I got yelled at. My dad yelled at me. It was awful.” – Amanda (02:37)

  • Co-host:

    “Oh, I don't want dad yelling at me about my nipping ring. No.” (02:55)

• Kim: Labeled a Drug Addict (03:33 – 03:54)

  • Her son told his teacher she was a ‘drug addict’ because schools teach that cigarettes are drugs. The confusion led to some awkward explaining.
  • Quote:

    “My son told the teacher I was a drug addict because they teach them in school that cigarettes are a drug.” – Kim (03:38)

  • The hosts joke about whether that motivated her to quit.

    “Did that get you to quit?” – Bretzky (03:49)
    “No.” – Kim (03:53)

• Shannon: Dirty Magazines (04:06 – 04:48)

  • Her kids told daycare teachers about the ‘dirty magazines and movies’ they found at home (hidden under the bed and in the cabinet), which led to a very awkward parent-teacher talk.
  • Quote:

    “My kids went to the daycare and told the teacher that mommy had a bunch of dirty magazines and a bunch of dirty movies… Under mommy's bed and in mommy's cabinet.” – Shannon (04:08, 04:22)

  • Melissa:

    “That’s gonna get you a call.” – Melissa (04:27)

• Jenny (Teacher Perspective): The “New Bowl” (04:58 – 05:13)

  • Jenny, a teacher, shares a story of a student telling her that his mom bought a “new bowl”—which turned out not to be a dish, but a smoking implement.
  • Quote:

    “My mom got a new bowl… No. A bowl that you smoke out of.” – Jenny (04:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa on mortifying parent moments:

  “There are some things you don’t ever want to get chewed out from by your dad.” (02:59)

• Shannon on confronting her child’s teacher:

  “When I went in that afternoon to pick them up, I got the little, ‘Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?’” (04:34)

• Classroom candor:

  “I’m guessing teachers hear stuff all the time in their classroom that kids come to school and confess things to them that their parents would probably prefer for them to keep it private.” – Co-host (01:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:46 – 01:42: News story: Michelle Obama and the citizenship “narc”
• 01:55 – 02:35: Melissa’s story about lying for the free flight
• 02:35 – 02:57: Amanda’s nipple piercing embarrassment
• 03:33 – 03:54: Kim’s “drug addict” confusion over cigarettes
• 04:06 – 04:48: Shannon’s “dirty magazines and movies” mortification
• 04:58 – 05:13: Jenny’s “new bowl” as a teacher shocker

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Tone and Style

The episode is energetic, light-hearted, and peppered with good-natured banter and laughter. The hosts and callers swap stories with humor and zero judgment, making for an authentic listen with plenty of cringe and relatability.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you’ve ever cringed when your kid repeat-something-you-said, you’ll find a kindred spirit in this episode. Whether it’s international headlines or everyday family life, “The Bert Show” showcases how parenting is full of unexpected, awkward, and hilarious truths—especially when kids have no filter!

Transcript

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[Melissa]

The Bird Show Melissa's story in the news made me start to think. If your kids have accidentally narked on you at one point in your life, give us a call. 404-741-Q1 this could be anything. This could be like they accidentally narked on something they found in your room. They accidentally told your mother, which would be their grandmother. It could be something to the police because based on this story in, in Maryland this morning, there's, there's one mother that's, that's getting a knock on the door probably from immigration today because first

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Lady Michelle Obama was at a class of second graders and at this Maryland school, it's in Silver Spring, and she had a question and answer session and one of the kids said, you know what? My mommy, Barack Obama's taking everybody away that doesn't have papers. And the first lady said, look, we just want to make sure everybody living in the US has proper citizenship papers. And then that's when the little girl said, but my mommy doesn't have papers.

[Co-host or Guest]

And the first lady said, accidental narc.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

And the first lady said, well, we're going to take care of that.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

I'm guessing that teachers hear stuff all the time in their classroom that kids come to school and confess things to them that their parents would probably prefer for them to keep it private.

[Melissa]

1 yes. You know, 404-741-Q100 I think the only time that this has happened to us in the is I think it had everything to do with Hayden when we were younger on a flight because if you're a certain age, you can be in mommy's lap.

[Co-host or Guest]

It's like two and under, right?

[Melissa]

You fly for Free. And my boy Hayden is a little undersized like his mom and like his dad. So I think we were telling the flight attendant, he was younger than he was, and he narked on us. He's like, no, I'm not. I'm four. I'm like, isn't he cute?

[Bretzky]

Four?

[Melissa]

That's a joke. I'm four years old. Please don't charge me $300.

[Co-host or Guest]

Like, wow, your child is so well spok at two years of old time.

[Melissa]

Hey, Amanda, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Good morning. I had my nipples pierced one time, and my son found out, and he so told my mom. Yeah, that was kind of embarrassing.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's a perfect one right there.

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, yeah, that was bad. I got yelled at. My dad yelled at me. It was awful.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Oh, I don't want dad yelling at me about my nipping ring. No.

[Caller or Guest]

Are you kidding me? God.

[Melissa]

Because I do think it doesn't matter how old you are. There are some things you don't ever want to get chewed out from by your dad.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

No. Yeah.

[Melissa]

So we're in. We're talking about Maryland and this little girl up in Maryland that knocked on her mommy accidentally to Michelle Obama yesterday.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Yeah. Question and answer session. And the child was basically saying about how Barack Obama was going to take anybody away. They didn't have papers. And first lady said, but, you know, we want to make sure everybody has their citizenship papers here in the United States. And then the second grader said, well, my mommy doesn't have papers, so bye, bye, Mommy. Yeah, Mommy go bye, bye.

[Melissa]

Or adios in this case.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Adios, Mommy.

[Melissa]

So how did your kids accidentally narc on you? Good morning, Kim. You're on the Burke Show.

[Caller or Guest]

Yes. My son told the teacher I was a drug addict because they teach them in school that cigarettes are a drug.

[Melissa]

That's funny.

[Bretzky]

Did that get you to quit?

[Melissa]

Did it get you to quit?

[Caller or Guest]

No.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Nope.

[Co-host or Guest]

Nope.

[Melissa]

Not at all. And it's thinking, good morning, Lisa. You are on Q100. Hello. Or not. Good morning, Shannon. You were on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey, I've got one for you.

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Okay.

[Caller or Guest]

My kids went to the daycare and told the teacher that mommy had a bunch of dirty magazines and a bunch of dirty movies.

[Melissa]

And where did she find these?

[Caller or Guest]

Under mommy's bed and in mommy's cabinet.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that's funny.

[Melissa]

That's gonna get you call. That's gonna get you a call. Now, did you get a call from the teacher that day or the next time you saw a teacher? She told you.

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, no, When I went in that afternoon to pick them up, I got the little. Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a minute?

[Melissa]

Oh, that's beautiful. And the exact words that they use were, what?

[Michelle Obama (referenced) / Possibly a co-host]

Can I borrow that movie?

[Caller or Guest]

No. They looked kind of embarrassed, and they were like, we got something to tell you.

[Melissa]

Oh, wow, that's beautiful. Thanks, Shannon. Here is Jenny. Good morning.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey. I'm a teacher, and we were eating lunch one day and a kid in my class looked at me and said, my mom got a new bowl. And I was like, a bowl that you eat out of, Like a set of bowls. And he's like, no. A bowl that you smoke out of.

[Melissa]

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