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Main Host
play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Bird show if you guys have kids, you know that and I'll try to handle this delicately. Cause it's 7:25 and some of you are still eating. But if you have kids that are like two, three years old, they don't have to be sick in order to get sick. Like I told you guys when Hayden was younger, when we were at Outback Steakhouse one night, puke sick. Like it just comes from nowhere. They don't need to have a cold. They don't need to be choking on something. If they are ready to yak, they just yak in the middle of anywhere sometimes. And this happened to our family again a couple of days ago with Hollis and I Want to know from you guys that are parents, where's the most inappropriate or embarrassing place that your kid just yacked? And you never see it coming because again, they don't have to be choking on anything. This may not be a symptom of a cold that's been going on for days.
Co-Host
It's just a spontaneous row.
Main Host
If they're like two years old, sometimes you're just holding them and all of a sudden, bleh.
Co-Host
It's like a cat. It could be anywhere, Anywhere, anyt as long they start.
Co-Host/Panelist
Even a cat, you get the warning.
Co-Host
A little bit of warning.
Co-Host/Panelist
They run from the hardwoods onto the rug.
Main Host
They know better, right?
Co-Host
Yes.
Main Host
Now, I told you guys years ago, we're at Outback Steakhouse. And the way that Outback is, is they're all those little. They're booths, right, that are set up about shoulder high right now with the Hollis story.
Co-Host/Panelist
Do you have to give as much detail? Because Jessica and I had an Outback craving the other night.
Main Host
I haven't gone back there since this happened. So we're there with the family and it's everybody. It's the grandparents, it's Stacy and I and it's the kids and. And Hayden is playing peekaboo with a whole bunch of like 20 somethings that are sitting in a booth right next to us. And all of a sudden he just throws up on the back of the neck of one of the women that are eating there. You remember she called us the next day. I was telling the story and she calls up the next day, she's like, it's okay.
Co-Host/Panelist
That was in the back of my mind the entire time I was sitting there. I'm glad you didn't say what booth it was.
Main Host
I have not gone to Outback since that day. It was so traumatic. I was. So they were heading out like it was their big filler meal before they went out to go drinking. So my 2 year old at that time or 3 year old, pukes all over her and their night is ruined. But they were really, really cool about it. This one happens on Saturday morning. There was a press screening for the Princess and the Frog at Atlantic Station.
Co-Host
New Disney movie.
Main Host
Jen was there.
Co-Host
Yeah, yeah, it was there with my
Main Host
friend and her daughter sitting a couple of rows behind us.
Co-Host/Panelist
Oh, no.
Main Host
And Stacy gets up to go to the restroom. So I'm there with Hayden and Hollis sitting in the row and. And Hayden just gets up. I mean, Hollis just gets up and pukes. No reason at all. There's nothing coming. It was in the Dark theater, but
Co-Host/Panelist
where, like, you stood up and do you walk anywhere or just stand where you stood up?
Main Host
So it was sort of half in between our aisle. And I'm sure they didn't know it at the time. They could smell it. But he basically yacked on the family in front of us in between the chairs.
Co-Host
Gross.
Main Host
And you know, that smell, man, it just permeates through the theater, right?
Co-Host
Disgusting.
Main Host
And even in a D theater, you know, when they're showing a lighter part of the movie, you can see what people are doing. And you could see as it was getting worse, that people are starting to look in our direction. And I didn't have any napkins, nothing. So it happens right there in the theater with no warning at all. Zero.
Co-Host
Not like, daddy, I'm gonna get sick, or I don't feel good or anything like that. Just stand up.
Main Host
Now, the good news in a theater like that is that you're there with other parents with 2, 3 and 4 year olds, so they understand it. That's the only saving grace there. But if you're at outback and sometimes there are family, sometimes you're not, it's a little more embarrassing. But this can happen. Your parents, it'll happen anywhere.
Co-Host/Panelist
What age does it end?
Main Host
Well, at some point, you know, like at 5, they start to tell you, look, my stomach doesn't feel good. But at 2, it just hits them in the stomach and then they're throwing up.
Co-Host/Panelist
So 4ish around the communication. I'm just wondering how guarded I have to be around each of your kids.
Main Host
With Hollis, anything can happen. I would wear an Ebola suit over to our house.
Co-Host
I was thinking that Jeff was trying to figure out at what age he should adopt.
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Co-Host
Once I get through that stage, then I can have a kid.
Main Host
Good morning, Jennifer. You are on Q100. Hi.
Caller
Hi. Good morning. Hey, I was calling. This actually didn't happen to me. It was my brother, and they went to Very Merry Christmas a couple weeks ago. And if you've ever been to Disney in the past, Mickey and Minnie have their own houses where if you want to see the characters, you wait in these humongous lines and get to get your picture taken with Mickey and Minnie and so forth. While they were waiting to see Minnie Mouse, his daughter puked everywhere. All over the furniture in Minnie's house. The whole room had to get cleared out. So people had been waiting for 30, 40 minutes to evacuate the area.
Co-Host/Panelist
Can't puke in Minnie Mouse's house.
Main Host
And when you've been waiting that long, you're finally up to the front of the line and you have to wait another 30 minutes based on some kid yakking you forget that you have your own 2 year old and this has happened to you before. Here is Alicia. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.
Caller
Good morning. Hi. Virtual. We were at a funeral and my 2 year old, right before they did the last prayer, decided to piece all
over my husband and I Right in the funeral service.
Yes.
Co-Host
At least it was parents crying.
Main Host
And how old is your child?
Caller
Two.
Main Host
Two. I think we're, I think we're going to realize when this is all said and done that it's the two year old phase.
Co-Host
Yeah.
Main Host
That from two to three, those are prime yakin years right there. Yeah.
Co-Host
They just can't tell or communicate or hold it. Well, maybe it's just for a stomach rebellion, you know, the terrible twos. Maybe the stomach is just as rebellious as the kid.
Main Host
Hey, Amy, Good morning.
Caller
Hey. I know mine's more of an infant story, but my son had just been fed and I had a friend who came over. She decided she wanted to pick up the cute little baby and hold him up above her and he spit up into her mouth.
Co-Host/Panelist
Dude, why are we doing this while people are eating breakfast?
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Co-Host
That is nasty. Seriously, there's not enough mouthwash for that.
Main Host
Hey, Chris. Good morning.
Co-Host/Panelist
Look at the joy that Bert is getting. Bert has been waiting since Hayden puked at strangers. Bert has been waiting.
Caller
I don't know that I could top that.
Main Host
See what you got, Chris.
Caller
I, I had my two and a half year old. We were on our first cruise, which was a Disney cruise at the time. He went into the fanciest restaurant on the ship. It was our dress up night and get to the restaurant, sit down, they bring out the main course. He yaks all over the table, just projectile vomits. And not only does he projectile vomit all over the table and all over the people at the table, which was not just our family, it was other people. He has diarrhea and rooster tails out of the back of his diaper and gets it all in the back of all in the back of their Mickey Mouse ears on the chair and.
Main Host
Okay, yeah, I think we get that.
Co-Host
Yep, that's pretty good. That is hilarious that he just called it rooster tail.
Main Host
I think that's good. I'll take one more. I won't get to the one who threw up all over clothes at the Banana Republic while mom was shopping, but. Hey, Mandy. Good morning.
Caller
Hey. We were on a flight to Denver and my child. Well, he was gonna be 2 in February, and he had been just, you know, that kid on the plane screaming and yelling and not being still and not going to sleep. And it was late and I was hoping he would sleep, but he didn't. And I'm sitting in the middle and he threw up all over the lady next to me.
Main Host
And the worst is when you're on a plane because you can't escape that man. There's no way for the air to get out of that plane, and there's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
Co-Host
I would jump. I would open the hatch and I would jump.
Main Host
I'd start smoking and just say, turn it around.
Co-Host
Then, then get me out of here.
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Date: May 26, 2026
Main Theme:
This lighthearted and candid episode revolves around the hilarious and sometimes mortifying stories of young kids spontaneously throwing up in public—and often, in the most inconvenient or embarrassing places. The hosts (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the cast) and callers share their personal experiences, showing parents they’re not alone in enduring these unforgettable parenting moments.
The episode is candid, unfiltered, and playfully irreverent, striking a balance between empathy for parents and comedy in gross-out situations. Listeners are invited to laugh at the universality (and unpredictability) of parenting small children, with the hosts commiserating and sharing their own embarrassing tales.
This episode offers both catharsis and community for parents and non-parents alike—proof that you’re not alone if your “prime yakin’ years” have left you with tales of public embarrassment. Whether you’ve survived a cruise dining room meltdown or just dread air travel accidents, The Bert Show keeps it light, real, and funny.