Vault: Listen To This Woman's Divorce Bucket List

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Listen To This Woman's Divorce Bucket List

Date: March 12, 2026

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Overview

This lively and heartfelt episode centers on a listener, Erica, who is at the beginning stages of a divorce and looking for ways to reclaim her joy and sense of self. Inspired by co-host Jen’s own post-divorce adventures, Erica wants help building a "divorce bucket list"—a set of bold, meaningful, and fun activities to kick-start her next chapter. Bert, Jen, and a host of callers weigh in, brainstorming ideas ranging from solo travel to pole dancing parties, with plenty of good-natured teasing and supportive advice along the way.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Erica’s Divorce Story & The Need for a Bucket List

• Erica's Situation:
  • Erica shares she's just begun the divorce process and is feeling stuck and down (01:11).
  • Friends encouraged her to compile a divorce bucket list as a way to shake things up and help her transition.
  • She mentions her love of travel and a wish to get into photography as possible first steps (01:57).

2. Jen's Solo Travel & Personal Challenge Inspiration

• Jen’s Experience:
  • Jen talks about traveling solo to Mexico post-divorce, calling it a “unique challenge” that helped her rediscover herself (02:45).
  • She suggests any self-challenging activity can help: “Or maybe it's hiking… or some sort of challenge like that that would make you feel good once you accomplish it.” (03:17)
• Bert’s Spin:
  • Bert emphasizes using the bucket list to step out of your comfort zone. He encourages Erica to try things that make her nervous, such as initiating conversations with strangers (03:48).

Quote:
"I think mine is probably different than what you needed it for. But it's, like, seven days of just completely and totally being selfish."
— Bert (03:06)

3. Callers Share Their Divorce Bucket List Ideas

a. Karaoke Night & Man-Bashing Songs (Kimber)

• Kimber describes how gathering friends for a karaoke night the day her divorce was finalized brought her joy and release with “man-bashing songs” (04:33).

b. Ceremonial Letting Go

• Bert and Jen joke about burning ex’s photos, but acknowledge it’s not for everyone—Erica says she’s not at the “hating him” stage (05:00).

c. “Adult Toy” & Lingerie House Parties (Maria)

• Maria suggests a light-hearted girls’ night with adult-themed parties involving lingerie, cocktails, and fun, with everyone chipping in for gifts (05:17).

d. At-Home Pole Dancing Parties

• Bert mentions services where dancers bring poles for an in-home class with friends, offering a playful way to try something new in a safe environment (05:48).
• Erica likes the idea, saying, "That would be fun…it keeps me in, but yet still takes me out all at the same time" (06:08–06:13).

e. Resetting Your Dating Life (Michelle)

• Michelle calls in to share her own post-divorce dating adventures: “I went out and dated men of all different types…fireman, policeman, doctor…black, white, and Asian, and let them pay for everything!” (06:39).

Quote:
"The dating checklist. I like it."
— Jen (07:00)

• Michelle notes she was only able to do this a month after her divorce, as emotionally she’d been out of the relationship longer (07:04).
• She also shares that she was celibate for three years post-divorce before dating again, turning the time into a personal rediscovery process (07:18).

f. Professional Pole Dancing Studio Parties (Darcy)

• Darcy, who works at a local pole dancing studio, describes their divorce and birthday private parties. Participants can “pick the music, dress up, and do pin-up style photography” (09:09).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On stepping out of comfort zones:
  "Why not make it like a homework assignment—the next time you’re out… go up to one guy, do something that you normally wouldn’t do."
  — Bert (03:48)

• On transforming pain into joy:
  "We went to a karaoke bar and we all sang man-bashing songs the whole night. That’s awesome."
  — Kimber (04:33)

• On daring new adventures:
  "Everybody contributes and buys you one trip you'll never forget... you and all your girlfriends can learn how to pole dance in the comfort of your own home."
  — Bert (05:48)

• On dating after divorce:
  "I went out and dated men of all different types… and just let them pay for everything. Just go out and have fun."
  — Michelle (06:39)

• On rediscovering the self:
  "Another part of my bucket list was becoming myself… I learned a lot about myself when it was just me."
  — Michelle (07:18)

• On the diversity of bucket list ideas:
  "I love the fact that she starts off with 'I want to be a photographer' and we end it with sex parties and date men of all races."
  — Bert (08:23)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:05: Erica introduces her divorce and desire for a bucket list.
• 01:44–02:45: Jen and Bert share travel and challenge ideas.
• 04:33: Kimber describes the “man-bashing” karaoke night.
• 05:17: Maria pitches the adult novelty party for fun and empowerment.
• 05:48: Bert and Jen riff on in-home pole dancing parties.
• 06:39–07:18: Michelle outlines her post-divorce dating adventures and self-discovery.
• 09:09: Darcy details professional pole dancing studio events and pin-up photography.

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The episode is warm, candid, supportive, and consistently laced with the show’s trademark wit and camaraderie. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” way to heal from divorce—the message is to find challenges and joys, big or small, that speak to you personally. From traveling solo or pursuing a new hobby, to light-hearted parties and re-approaching dating, the cast and callers encourage Erica (and listeners) to seek experiences that feel both empowering and fun.

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Summary of Bucket List Ideas Gathered

• Solo travel or road-trips
• Take up a new hobby (e.g., photography, classes unrelated to the marriage)
• Host a celebratory girls’ night or karaoke party
• Light-hearted ceremonial actions (with boundaries, e.g., photo burning—if desired)
• Attend or host an adult-themed party or lingerie night
• In-home or studio pole dancing class/party
• Try bold social “homework” (making the first move in conversations)
• Date different types of people, just for fun and new experiences

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A heartfelt and funny exploration of reclaiming yourself in the wake of a breakup—packed with listener-powered advice, real talk, and plenty of reasons to laugh in the face of life’s shake-ups.

Transcript

[Jen]

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[Bert]

The bird Show. Divorce bucket list. This is one I've never heard of. Hey, Erica.

[Erica]

Hey.

[Bert]

How are you today?

[Erica]

I'm okay. How are y' all doing?

[Bert]

Great. What's going on?

[Erica]

I am currently going through the beginning of a divorce, and it has pretty much taken its toll on me. And so a couple of my friends and I said that I need to come up with something to do to kind of get me out of this rut. And Jen kind of inspired me with, you know, her doing her skydiving and all that and everything that she went through that we just kind of had a light bulb golf and we're like, why don't I just come up with a bucket list, you know, things to do to get me out of the rut, help me to start the next chapter of my life.

[Jen]

So that's why I think it's a great idea.

[Erica]

I want y' all to help me.

[Jen]

I think it's a great idea. I mean, I think. I think what has to be on there is stuff you always thought you would do, but maybe you're a little bit riskier.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Is there things like that in your life?

[Erica]

Not really, no. I've always been kind of shy and. And haven't really done much. I mean, the only thing that I really love to do is. Is to travel and do photography. So those are. I mean, that was one of my things, is I want to take up photography and kind of make a hobby, you know?

[Bert]

Well, let's ask 404.741Q100 if you've gone Through a divorce. Like, what did you do? What was on that list to sort of jumpstart you and shake you back up into, okay, this is my life now. Okay. I can get past the depression or the sadness of it and move forward. And let's take the logical ones. Like, it's just gonna take time. Let's take those right out. Because. And by logical, Burt means boring. Well, I mean, that's. It's logical. It's gonna take time. Right. But, Jen, you sure should be able to speak to this better than anybody else.

[Jen]

Yeah, I think so. One of the things on my list was traveling by myself, too. I've done it twice this year, and I went to Mexico for five days by myself, which was really good. I think challenging yourself to travel, like you said, you really enjoy, but traveling by yourself is a whole different experience, really. Bert knows that, too. He travels alone.

[Bert]

Yeah. To me, it's like seven days of just completely and totally being selfish and just being alone with myself for seven days. So I think mine is probably different than what you needed it for.

[Jen]

It's definitely a great time for soul searching and all that kind of stuff, but it's just. It's a unique challenge or. I know I've talked to some people who have made a challenge to run a marathon or a half marathon, something like that, that gives you sort of a mission and a goal to look forward to, but to market with some sort of action I think is definitely important. Or maybe it's hiking, you know, a super tall mountain, or some sort of challenge like that that would make you feel good once you accomplish it, you know?

[Erica]

Right, right. I don't know about running a marathon. I might pass out.

[Bert]

Well, I think this is like that time that you want to become the things that you've always been scared of doing before. So you say you're sort of a shy person. Then why not make it like a homework assignment the next time you're out, you're at East Andrews or wherever you're hanging out, go up to one guy, do something that you normally wouldn't do. Just like, go up to him, and you start the conversation rather than come up to you.

[Erica]

Right.

[Bert]

And it's probably freaky to think that you could actually be that person, but if that's what you're looking for, that'll get you out of it a little bit.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Good morning. She's not gonna do that. She's like, yeah, I don't want it to actually be challenging.

[Erica]

I don't do it. It's just Gotta get that courage up.

[Bert]

Kimber, what did you do to get over your divorce? Like, what shook you up a little bit?

[Erica]

The very first thing I did is I gathered about six of my girlfriends together on a Wednesday night, the day my divorce was final, actually. And we went to a karaoke bar and we all sang man bashing songs the whole night. That's awesome. Yeah, it was great. Great.

[Bert]

Aren't there some women that do like the whole. Take all the pictures of the ex and set them on fire? Like a ceremonial set him on fire type thing?

[Jen]

I don't know if that's healthy, but

[Erica]

I can't see myself doing that part.

[Jen]

I don't.

[Erica]

I'm not at the stage of hating him. So that's more, I think, for the ones who hate their ex. I definitely don't hate my ex at all.

[Bert]

The bird show can get you there.

[Jen]

Yeah, give us some time. We'll work on it. We'll beat you down.

[Bert]

Maria, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Erica]

Good morning. Something that I did when a friend of mine was going through a divorce is we also had a girls night, but we invited one of those just somebody to see your house. And it's like an adult toy party where they bring lingerie and you do like, they do all these lotions. And then the whole point is that they're selling you this stuff, but you make a whole night of it. You have cocktails and it's a bunch of girls. And actually all your girlfriends could actually some money for whatever it is that you want to buy from their catalog. It's a lot of fun.

[Jen]

That's a great idea.

[Bert]

It could be like Erica's big adventure. Everybody contributes and buys you one trip that you'll never forget. I have one friend that's a girl that last week told me that there's a service now where people will bring like, dancers will bring the poles into your house so, like, you and all your girlfriends can learn how to pole dance in the comfort of your own home.

[Jen]

That's cool.

[Erica]

That would be fun.

[Bert]

Yeah. Mm. Yeah.

[Jen]

I didn't take you out of your comfort zone.

[Erica]

Yeah, it keep me in, but yet still take me out all at the same time.

[Bert]

And not entirely. Cause you're not doing it in front of a whole bunch of strangers. Also, they're bringing the pole to your house and it's just you and your friends, right?

[Erica]

Right.

[Bert]

Hey, Michelle, Good morning. You're on Q100. Michelle, hello. Hold on, I think I have to pick up before you can answer.

[Jen]

That's old school technology.

[Bert]

Whatever. Hey Michelle.

[Erica]

Hey Bert. How are you doing? Hey guys.

[Jen]

Hi.

[Erica]

You guys are awesome. I just want to let you know what I did was I went out and dated men of all different types. I went out and dated a fireman and a policeman and a doctor and just learned all kinds of laughs from different guys. I went out and dated black, white and Asian and just had all different kind of experiences and let them pay for everything. Just go out and have fun.

[Jen]

The dating checklist. I like it.

[Erica]

Yes.

[Bert]

How long were you divorced before you had like the strength to go out and start dating again?

[Erica]

Well, actually I was probably only divorced for about a month before I was ready to go because I was out of the relationship long before we actually split.

[Bert]

Right.

[Erica]

And I was celibate for three years before I went with another man. And that was another part of my bucket list was becoming myself. And that was great. And I learned a lot of things about myself when it was just me, but did really fun. It was great.

[Bert]

I'll tell you what, that is the powerball of dating.

[Erica]

If you are the bucket list, scratch

[Bert]

off of the woman who's been selling of it for three years.

[Erica]

If you are that guy, you're the recipient.

[Bert]

Uhhuh. Don't ever buy a lottery ticket cuz

[Erica]

you've already won, my friend.

[Bert]

So can you imagine when she tells him that so well, part of the

[Jen]

reason I got divorced is, you know,

[Bert]

I've been celibate for three years. The guy's like, well, yeah, like bells going off shots, Jaeger bomb, fireworks, hotel room. All right, so that helps you a little bit. Right. You can start your list with it

[Erica]

definitely helps you, Jen.

[Bert]

Anything else there, Jen? You seem so quiet today.

[Jen]

I do, Yes. I think my coffee's just weak.

[Erica]

She starts out.

[Jen]

I think it's just. I think it's different for everyone. I do, I do think that it should be something that it's a personal challenge that once you get through with it, you're going to feel a whole lot better about yourself.

[Bert]

I love the fact that she starts off with I want to be a photographer and we end it with sex

[Erica]

parties and date men of all races.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Erica]

Get a poll.

[Bert]

I know.

[Jen]

Because I think that you should try something new that does not. You're not associated with. You don't associate with your husband. Like the photography thing. Like I think in the middle of all this too do is take classes on something completely new and something you would even never expect to do just to kind of get your whole mind on learning Something and then that way if you do it, if you enjoy it, he has nothing to do with it.

[Erica]

Right. Thank you guys so much.

[Bert]

Good luck.

[Erica]

Thanks.

[Jen]

You know what she said?

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And Right. So much. Do you think? I don't. Did she get what she wanted?

[Erica]

No, she totally does.

[Bert]

I'm not exactly sure that she did. Yeah. Good morning. Darcy, you're on Q100. Hi, guys.

[Erica]

How are you?

[Bert]

Good. How are you?

[Erica]

Good. I was just saying I actually work for part time at a pole dancing company here in town and we do stuff like divorce parties and birthday parties and stuff like that. We've had a couple of them come in and it's just a fun environment for everyone to come in. It's a private party. It's just you and your friends and an instructor and you pick the music and you get to dress up. And we also do pin up style photography at the studio too.

[Bert]

So they go to your studio rather than you bringing the pole over to their right.

[Erica]

Because everything that way, everything's in the studio. We've got 16 foot poles and eight of them and you know, we can kind of get them out of the environment.

[Bert]

Beautiful. What's the name of your. What's the name of the company?

[Erica]

It's Pol Lattiz.

[Bert]

Polatis. Hola. Polatis.

[Erica]

Yes.

[Jen]

So it's like Pilates, but it's pole.

[Erica]

Exactly.

[Bert]

Great. Thank you very much for the call.

[Erica]

Thanks, guys. Get it.

[Bert]

The bird show.

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