Vault: Listener wouldn't shake Melissa's hand because she's gay!

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Listener Wouldn't Shake Melissa's Hand Because She's Gay!

Air Date: July 1, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show revisits a memorable story from the team’s early years, centering on an incident where a listener refused to shake Melissa’s hand at an event because Melissa is gay. The cast reflects on the awkwardness of people discussing sexuality in hushed tones and has fun dissecting media blunders when it comes to LGBTQ+ topics. The discussion is lighthearted yet insightful, highlighting both the absurdity and seriousness of everyday moments involving identity.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Music Midtown Incident (01:10–02:09)

• Story Setup: Jeff shares how he first learned about Melissa’s sexuality due to an odd interaction at a public event.
• Melissa recounts: During a promotional event at Music Midtown, all the radio hosts were lined up, shaking hands with listeners. A woman went down the line, shook hands with everyone, but hesitated when she got to Melissa.
  • Melissa (01:32): "I reached my hand out to introduce myself to her. And then she refused to take my hand and whispered to me, 'I'm not gay.' No way. She had shaken the hands of everybody else."
  • Reaction: Melissa found the situation more funny than offensive, laughing at how the listener whispered as if "gay" were a secret.

2. The “Whispering” of Gayness (02:09–02:23)

• Jeff and Lindsay reflect: People tend to speak the word "gay" in hushed tones, attempting not to offend, but often coming off as awkward or unintentionally disrespectful.
  • Jeff (02:18): "'Oh, that's Melissa. She's gay. She's nice. She's so nice.'"
  • Lindsay (02:18): "Yeah, it's funny to me. And when people say gay and lesbian and everything, they have to whisper it for some reason."
• Discussion point: The group notes that efforts to be sensitive can sometimes backfire and make things more uncomfortable.

3. The News Anchor Gaffe (02:45–03:54)

• Jeff introduces: An infamous news blooper where an anchor mixes up "gay" and "blind" when introducing a guest.
  • Clip:
    • Melissa (Acting as news anchor, 03:13): "Right after the break, we're gonna interview Eric Wyhenmayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he's gay. I mean, he's gay. Excuse me, he's blind."
  • Immediate reactions:
    • Lindsay (03:27): "Wait, wait, what? How do you confuse that? I mean, the words aren't even anywhere close."
    • Melissa (03:35): "How do you do that?"
    • Jeff (03:36): "That's either somebody jacking with her on the teleprompter... Or that's them having a conversation right before they went on the air. And she's not comfortable with the word gay. So it got in her head and she's like, 'Don't say gay. Don't say gay.'"
  • Reflection: The group jokes about how overthinking not being offensive can sometimes lead to bigger mistakes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa’s recounting of the event (01:32):
  “She said, oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. And then I reached my hand out to introduce myself to her. And then she refused to take my hand and whispered to me, 'I'm not gay.' No way. She had shaken the hands of everybody else... I laughed because it was funny.”
• Jeff on awkward whispers (02:18):
  "'Oh, that's Melissa. She's gay. She's nice. She's so nice.'"
• News anchor blooper as quoted by Melissa (03:13):
  “But he’s gay. I mean, he’s gay. Excuse me, he’s blind.”
• Lindsay reacting to the blooper (03:27):
  “Wait, wait, what? How do you confuse that? I mean, the words aren't even anywhere close.”
• Jeff analyzing the mistake (03:41):
  “Or that's them having a conversation right before they went on the air. And she's not comfortable with the word gay, so it got in her head and she's like, 'Don't say gay. Don't say gay.'”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:01: Start of central story – Jeff intros the Melissa hand-shaking moment
• 01:32: Melissa details the Music Midtown incident
• 02:09: Jeff discusses his attempts to joke with Melissa about the situation
• 02:13: Cast discusses how people whisper "gay"
• 02:45: Introduction and replay of the infamous news anchor gaffe
• 03:13: Cast analyzes the anchor’s slip-up and the broader awkwardness around discussing LGBTQ+ topics

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Episode Summary & Tone

• The tone is playful, candid, and good-natured, even while touching on social awkwardness and latent homophobia.
• The cast, while poking fun at the absurdity of the situations, gives space for reflection on how people interact with LGBTQ+ topics in daily life, especially in “polite company.”
• The office banter and sharing of funny, cringe-worthy moments are classic Bert Show: honest, familiar, and unfiltered.

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This episode is perfect for listeners who appreciate a mix of real-life stories, candid conversations about identity, and the comedy that naturally arises when people get uncomfortable with taboo topics.

Transcript

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[Bluff]

The Burt show.

[Jeff]

I have to play some audio for Melissa.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jeff]

I learned very on being a co worker of Melissa's.

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

About the word gay. Yes, we've told this story before about.

[Lindsay]

Since I am gay.

[Jeff]

Yes, Melissa's gay. And we like. I think my first introduction to that was at Music Midtown.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Somebody came up to Melissa and I.

[Lindsay]

Oh my God, that was great.

[Jeff]

And we were working the booth and they stood like one side of the booth and they made like. Lindsay may have been there too, or whoever else.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, it was actually all four of us there. We were introducing ourselves. Q100 had just started and we were sister stations and still are with 99x. And at the time they had this, you know, they had their own stage at Music Midtown. We're standing at the table and listeners were coming up and this one listener started down the line and Bert was at one end and I was at the other. So she said, oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. And then I reached my hand out to introduce myself to her. And then she refused to take my hand and whispered to me, I'm not gay. No way. She had shaken. She had shaken the hands of everybody else. Hey, I'm Bird. Hey, I'm Jeff. Hey, I'm Lindsay. And I said, hey, I'm Melissa. I'm not gay. So she couldn't do it. I laughed because she walked away because it was funny.

[Jeff]

And then of course, I spent the next 30 days whispering to Melissa.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, it's funny to me. And when people say gay and lesbian and everything, they have to whisper it for some reason.

[Jeff]

Oh, that's Melissa. She's gay. She's nice. She's so nice.

[Lindsay]

She's so nice, but she's so helpful.

[Jeff]

She's. There's a weird. Yeah, there's a bizarre way. For whatever reason, it's. I think people are very aware and very sensitive to not wanting to be offensive. So, you know, maybe they don't know if it should be homosexual, but they do.

[Lindsay]

But they don't realize that they are kind of being, you know, offensive when they have to whisper it.

[Jeff]

The problem is when people get stuff like that in their head, you know, they get that word, it becomes almost like Austin Powers, Molish, you know, like mole. Don't say gay. I'm wondering if that's what happened to this news anchor. This is not in Atlanta, but she is doing a news story that is totally related to anything homosexual. Okay, but somehow makes a little mistake.

[Melissa]

Right after the break, we're gonna interview Eric Wyhenmayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he's gay. I mean, he's gay. Excuse me, he's blind. So we'll see what.

[Jeff]

Okay, as we head to the break,

[Bluff]

a look at the.

[Lindsay]

Wait, wait, what? How do you confuse that? I mean, the words aren't even anywhere close.

[Jeff]

Not even close.

[Melissa]

How do you do that?

[Jeff]

That's either somebody jacking with her on the teleprompter.

[Lindsay]

Oh my God, what the hell?

[Jeff]

Or that's them having a conversation right before they went on the air. And she's not comfortable with the world. Gay. So it got in her head and she's like, don't say gay. Don't say gay. But.

[Lindsay]

But he's gay. I mean, blind.

[Melissa]

Blind. Where does that come.

[Lindsay]

Can we talk to him?

[Melissa]

But he's gay. I mean, he's gay. Excuse me. He's blind.

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