Vault: Listeners call in with weird fetishes

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: Listeners Call In With Weird Fetishes

Release Date: July 7, 2026
Main Hosts Present: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy

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Overview

This episode dives into the world of unusual fetishes, inviting listeners to call in and share the “weirdest” ones they’ve encountered or heard about. The tone is open, humorous, and non-judgmental (with a few playful jabs thrown in), emphasizing that as long as nobody’s hurt, whatever floats your boat is fair game. The hosts present a mix of curiosity, astonishment, and amusement as they navigate a series of surprising confessions, both from pop culture and their audience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Strange Celebrity Fetishes Kick Off the Conversation

• The show opens with a discussion about a unique fetish attributed to Jesse James, described by Bert as “really strange” but not something to judge (01:31).
• Pedal Pumping is explained:
  • Involves women revving the engines of muscle cars or trucks, dressed in shorts or bikinis, focusing on their legs pressing the accelerator.
  • “All she does is press down on the accelerator of the car and rev the engine over and over and over again.” – Bert [01:57]
  • The appeal is debated—some hosts try to reason out psychological roots, while others just marvel at the internet’s breadth of content.

2. Feet, Flowers, and Goop – Expanding the Horizon

• Cassie brings up videos featuring women playing with flowers with their feet—a niche within foot fetish content (02:44).
• Another, even odder, video involves women in thick goop (like jello, but heavier), ending with a jump-scare from a spider [03:55].
• The panel wonders aloud about the connection between such innocent acts and sexuality:
  • “Like, what happened as a child…to make that hot to you?” – Bert [03:26]
  • “People are weird, including arranging them and lining them up [with their feet].”

3. “Giantess” Fetishes

• Cassie describes the “giantess” genre, where men digitally insert themselves as tiny people to be “stepped on” or handled by enormous women [04:45].
  • “They’ll insert you in the video and then make a woman a giant around you, and she'll flick you off her shoulder and step on you.” – Cassie [05:08]

4. Listener Calls: Balloons, Cheese, Plushie Play

• Popping Balloons:
  • Hannah’s friend is paid $100 an hour to blow up and pop balloons on video [05:35].
  • “Are you kidding me?” – Kristin [05:46]
• Spitting Cheese on Shoes:
  • The hosts recall a previous listener whose fetish was having women spit cheese on his shoes (a “shocking one” for them) [06:29].
• Plushies/Furries:
  • John mentions “fluffy or plushie” parties, where people dress as stuffed animals, assume animal personas, and engage in sexual activities [07:28].
  • Bert refers to these as “furries,” noting, “That’s not even you. That’s like a character…something tapped into your childhood, and I think that’s weird.” [08:02]

5. Relationship Questions: Disclosure & Boundaries

• Bert wonders, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, how long into a relationship before one asks their partner to “dress up as a chicken tonight” [08:20].
  • The group jokes about holiday-themed furries (Easter bunny and even Jesus) [08:35].

6. Sploshing – Sitting in Food for Arousal

• Chris calls in to describe “sploshing”—watching fully clothed women sit in food such as spaghetti or chipped beef, with no nudity involved [09:00].
  • “How in love do you have to be with the guy to go, okay, if you dig it, I’m sitting in chipped beef?” – Bert [09:37]
  • Kristin: “There’s not enough love to sit in chipped beef. Trust me.” [09:42]

7. “Birding” or Food Regurgitation Fetish

• Listener Rob shares a story about dating a girl who wanted him to chew up pizza, drink Sprite, and then heat it in the microwave for her to eat—essentially a regurgitation or “birding” fetish [11:01].
  • “Like you’re her mama bird and you’ve got to chew it and then…” – Kristin [11:19]
  • Rob, reflecting: “She was hot. But I didn’t do it, man. I just, I can’t do that.” [12:26]
  • Bert: “That’s pretty advanced stuff for a 15 year old.” [12:37]

8. The Psychology & Omnipresence of Foot Fetishes

• Kim calls to clarify that the “feet with flowers” thing is just a foot fetish variant [12:47].
  • “People want to see the feet doing things, actually. It’s all about the feet.” – Kim [13:00]
  • Wine stomping is cited as another example, underscoring that the core is bare feet in action [13:15].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Get your freak on. You’re not hurting anybody.” – Bert [05:27]
• “If it keeps you from hurting somebody else, do your thing—you know, pop your balloons.” – Cassie [06:55]
• “There’s a part of me that thinks there’s people out there, like, let me find the most random thing and see if people catch on and pretend like this is some turn on and it’s not.” – Cassie [04:31]
• “I’m going to watch the movie Up in a whole new light.” – Kristin, after the balloon popping call [07:16]
• “As long as it’s keeping you away from my wife, it’s cool.” – Bert, joking about boundaries [07:06]
• “There’s not enough love to sit in chipped beef. Trust me.” – Kristin [09:42]
• “People are freaky. Don’t knock sploshing until you try it. Save that.” – Cassie [09:52]
• “I say, you know what? If you’re not hurting anybody else, go ahead and get your gopher outfit.” – Bert on furries [08:06]

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Flow & Tone

• Light and Playful: Punctuated with banter, teasing, and group laughter throughout.
• Candid, Not-So-Serious Judgments: While strange, nobody is truly shamed. The team recognizes some things are outside their comprehension and that’s okay.
• Curiosity With Boundaries: The hosts distinguish personal limits ("I'm not going to do it") from actual harm ("as long as no one’s getting hurt").
• Listener-Driven: Much of the content comes from live calls sharing unusual preferences.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Pedal Pumping Fetish Explainer – 01:57
• Feet and Flowers Videos Described – 02:44
• Giantess Fetish Introduction – 04:45
• Balloon Popping for Pay – 05:35
• Spitting Cheese on Shoes Recap – 06:29
• Plushie/Furry Parties Call-in – 07:28
• Sploshing/Sitting in Food – 09:00
• Birding/Regurgitated Food Fetish Call – 11:01
• Foot With Flowers Fetish Clarified – 12:47

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Summary

This episode of The Bert Show is a whirlwind tour through some truly unique fetishes, as told by listeners and dissected with humor and surprise by the hosts. Whether it’s pedal pumping, foot action, food play, or balloon popping, the consensus is: “You do you—just don’t expect us to understand (or join in)!” If you’re fascinated or bewildered by the peculiarities of human desire—and want to hear how a lively morning crew navigates those taboos—this episode is a fast, funny, and eyebrow-raising listen.

Transcript

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[D]

The Bird show alright, so apparently Jesse James has this very unique fetish. Okay. And again, I'm not judging y'. All do what you want to, man. Get as freaky as you want. You're not hurting anybody. I just thought this was really strange.

[B]

Mm.

[E]

But if it's weird, we're gonna talk about it, right?

[D]

Well, it's a little unusual for sure. And he's not the only one that totally digs pedal pumping.

[E]

What is that?

[B]

Guys heard about this? No.

[D]

Pedal pumping is. It's a woman in a has to be a muscle car or truck. The door is open so you can see inside of the truck and she's either dressed in shorts Or a bikini or something. That's to where you could see her legs. And all she does is press down on the accelerator of the car and rev the engine over and over and over again.

[B]

So you see these legs doing that in a cool car, right? Okay.

[E]

You hear the sound of the engine.

[D]

Yeah, the sound of the engine. And it's basically close ups of the legs pushing down on the pedals.

[B]

And there's like videos online of this or something.

[D]

There's a ton of them.

[B]

Really?

[D]

A ton of them.

[E]

You know, that's not the strangest thing that she does.

[D]

I can imagine.

[E]

There is a story out. I'll see if I can find it. But I'll see if I can do it from. I'll try to do it by memory until I can locate it. But I thought, because you said petal, I thought you were gonna refer to this thing. She's in a video of her and another woman and it's a close up of their feet and they are playing with flowers with their feet. And she has done a series of those. People are weird, including arranging them and lining them up. There's also a video of her. There's also a video of her and

[B]

another girl taking seemingly innocent things and making them, you know, sexual.

[D]

Like, what makes it sexual? Like the psychology behind it sorta interests me more than anything else. Like what happened as a child or as a young person. To make that hot to you.

[E]

Yeah, make that. Yeah. And then the other one is her

[B]

pedal pushing I can understand because that's like, you know, a kid fantasy. You know, you get your muscle car and you got your hot chick in the car and you're revving the engine and it's like going to lead to something, you know, So I could at least see somewhere in that. But walking in flowers, I don't get that. And arranging them with your feet.

[E]

And the other one was in goop. Like, not jello wrestling. Like a thick jello. Like goop. And it's two girls and they are in the goop.

[C]

Gross.

[B]

Like Ghostbusters.

[A]

Like goop.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Nickelodeon's you can't do that on television.

[D]

Goop.

[B]

Weird.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Well, it's a heavier goop because the video is of them getting out of it. And then once they get out of it, a spider appears and scares them and the video ends.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

Weird.

[D]

Whatever. You're in your own thing. That's your thing. That's your thing. That's cool.

[B]

There's a part of me that just. There's a part of me that thinks there's people out there. It'd be like, Jeff, like, let me find the most random thing and see if people catch on and pretend like this is some turn on and it's not. But people like a million hits. Like, oh, my God, you're right. No.

[F]

What?

[B]

I was just making a joke.

[D]

Hannah, hold on one sec.

[E]

Okay, I almost forgot my favorite one. She's in a giant fetish video where they take videos of men and they use, like, you know, technology or whatever. And here's a screenshot of one Jen, so you can describe it, but that is a fetish video with a guy who wanted to be in it.

[B]

So women look giant compared to the men.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

He's a woman's foot who's about to

[E]

step on the little man like he's an ant. So they'll insert you in the video and then make a woman a giant around you, and she'll flick you off her shoulder and step on you.

[B]

And that's eternal. Where does this come from?

[D]

I don't know, dude. But, you know, like I said, whatever you're into, you're into.

[B]

Did I say y' all are weird?

[D]

You're not hurting anybody. You're not hurting anybody.

[B]

It is a little.

[D]

Get your freak on. You're not hurting anybody.

[B]

It's a little strange.

[D]

Pump those pedals. Good morning, Hannah. You're on Q100.

[B]

I save that, by the way.

[G]

I know. I have a girlfriend who does something really, really, really crazy. She actually pops balloons. Like, blows them up and pops them, and it turns around, like, $100 an hour for it.

[B]

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

[G]

Where to you? There are these crazy, like, fetish websites that you can go on, and you blow up balloons and she. This is what she does. She blows up balloons and she just pops them.

[B]

Does she have to wear a sexy outfit or anything? Or is it just her in her random clothes? Just.

[G]

Hey, just whatever, really. It's just the action of blowing a balloon and popping them.

[B]

It is a recession.

[D]

Do you know where that all started? Like, how that started to become, like, a turn on?

[G]

No, I. You know, I don't know. I just think people are weird. Like, I think the giant woman thing is crazy, but popping balloons is pretty weird, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, you remember that one shocking one we had?

[B]

Bizarre.

[D]

That really shocking one we had on

[B]

the air one day of.

[D]

Didn't the woman. The dude wanted the woman to spit cheese on his shoes or something, right?

[B]

Spit it on his shoes. That would make me sick, right?

[D]

She hired him to Spit cheese on the shoe.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. That was it. And that's supposed to turn somebody on? I mean, I will agree. I will agree with Jeff that. I mean, Jeff, I will agree with Bert that, you know, if it keeps you from, you know, hurting somebody else, do your thing, you know, pop your balloons.

[E]

Yeah, I got no problem with it. But if you're a friend of mine and I find out you do that,

[B]

you're not my friend. I'm judging you.

[E]

I'm holding you.

[B]

I'm talking about you behind your back.

[E]

Yeah. Differently.

[D]

I'm gonna give you relentless crap about it.

[F]

Sure, sure.

[C]

But go ahead.

[D]

Do your own thing. As long as it's keeping you away from my wife, it's cool.

[E]

Just so you know, when you walk away and you hear me whispering, it's about you, if you're okay with that, I'm okay with that.

[B]

I'm gonna watch the movie up in a whole new light. Oh, no. Oh, it's a kids movie, Melissa.

[E]

Oh, no.

[D]

Hey, John.

[E]

Good Morning.

[D]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[C]

Hey. How you doing?

[D]

What's up, man?

[B]

Freaked out.

[C]

I'm just calling to see if you guys heard of the. I think it's called a fluffy or plushie fetish, where they. People dress up as stuffed animals and then take on the Persona of the person, the animal, and then they have these parties, and it's like a sexual thing.

[D]

Furries, right? Yeah, we've talked about that before. Yeah. And then you've got those people that dress up like animals, and you have the people that dress up as mascots, too, man.

[B]

It's really. It's disturbing. Why is it disturbing? It's what they change with furries. It's weird. Furries. That's not even you. That's like a character.

[C]

Weird.

[B]

Something tapped into your childhood, and I think that's weird.

[D]

I say, you know what? If you're not hurting anybody else, go ahead and get your gopher outfit. Go ahead.

[B]

And I'm not saying, don't do it. I just. No, don't do it. You just won't be a participant.

[G]

No.

[D]

Hey, Rob. Good morning. And how long I want to know

[B]

that you're out there.

[D]

How long do you have to be going out with somebody before you say to them where you're comfortable enough to say, look, I would really dig it if you dressed up as a chicken tonight?

[C]

Oh,

[B]

save that. Save it, save it, save it.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

How many people for Easter? I mean, how many bunnies are get. You know, getting it on like For Easter. Oh, in honor of Easter. Religious holiday.

[E]

What if we just did that?

[B]

Oh, and the Easter bunny is a symbol of that religious holiday. And your chocolate eggs. Right.

[E]

You dress up as Jesus and I'll dress up as Easter Bunny and we'll go at it.

[D]

You can't bring Jesus into it too.

[B]

Where did the bunny come from?

[D]

Hold on, let's stay on track here. Hey, Chris. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[C]

What's going on guys?

[D]

What's happening?

[C]

Dude, there's this weird like Internet fetish where guys like to look at fully clothed women sitting in food and it's called sploshing.

[D]

Sploshing?

[B]

What kind of food are they sitting in?

[C]

It doesn't matter. It's like spaghetti or like chipped beef. It really doesn't matter. Just whatever.

[B]

And fully closed.

[C]

Yes, just fully closed. No nudity.

[D]

Like again, I want to bring you back to you're starting to date somebody for the very first time. Wow. How many weeks do you have to be going out with somebody before you say it would really turn me on. If you sit in chipped beef for a while for me.

[B]

Keep your clothes on, honey. Keep your clothes on.

[D]

And how in love do you have to be with the guy to go? Okay. If you dig it, I'm sitting in chipped beef.

[B]

There's not enough love to sit in chip beef. Trust me. We've just got too much time on our hands in this country.

[E]

Wendy, you need to be a little more open minded.

[B]

Too much money and too much time on our hands.

[E]

People are freaky. Don't knock sploshing. Til you try it. Save that.

[B]

Yes, I don't care.

[E]

Use that all you want. Nine people in Atlanta know what sploshing is.

[D]

Hey, Rob. Good morning.

[E]

And now I'm one of them.

[C]

Crap. How you doing? Good, man. What's up? When I was in high school, I was a dj, right? So like I used to DJ at clubs and stuff with them, you know, hanging out with older people and stuff like that. I met this girl at this industrial club, you know, kind of like, you know, stuff like Marilyn Manson and stuff like that. They, they had some weird stuff going on. So I met this girl. She seemed pretty innocent. I mean, she's a little bit older, but you know, I didn't think anything of it. So I went to her house. We're just supposed to watch a movie and you know, have some pizza. So I, we ordered Domino's, had the pizza and she wasn't eating. So I'm like, hey, aren't you hungry? You know, like, what's going on? She's like, no, no, go ahead and finish. So I. Go ahead, you know, keep eating, scarf down like three slices. And then she's like, can you do me a favor? You know, once I was done eating? And she was like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, you know, what do you want? And she's like, well, do you think you can chew the pizza while drinking Sprite and then warm it up in the microwave?

[D]

What?

[C]

And I was like, yeah, exactly what

[B]

you had just chewed.

[C]

Yeah, she want. Well, I already had ate three slices of pizza, right? And she wanted me to chew up these other like the remaining pizza for her to eat. But first she wanted me to chew it.

[B]

Like you're like, you're her mama bird and you've got to chew it and

[E]

then that's called birding.

[C]

Yeah, it's kind of like regurgitation, right? Regurgitation.

[B]

That's gnarly.

[E]

Did you do it?

[D]

Go ahead. Yeah, I want to hear the rest of it.

[C]

Oh, well, yeah. So I mean, you know, I'm thinking to myself, she's, she's hot. But there's no way, you know, I was laughing at first. I was like, really? Like. And she was like dead serious.

[D]

So her thing was for to have other people chew their food and preach.

[B]

You'd favor preach you food pre chewed food with Sprite.

[C]

It was specific that she. And then after that I was like, what else do you do? Like what, I mean, what, I mean, how do you do, how do you, first of all, how do you get people to do this? Secondly, like, you know, like, what kind of things are on the menu or something like that, you know. So she started telling me like what she likes. She likes certain things from Olive Garden with wine and she liked, you know, hamburgers with. I don't know what it's called, but I just thought I'd share that because it was, you know, I was like 15, she was like 19.

[D]

She must have been super hot, right?

[C]

She was, but I didn't do it, man. I stood back and I was just like, you know, I'm sorry, I just, I can't do that. First of all, I'm not, I can't. I don't even feel comfortable chewing it and then spitting it out then going to heat it up in the microwave.

[D]

Yeah, that's all pretty advanced stuff for a 15 year old.

[E]

That's pretty advanced stuff for a 40 year old.

[D]

Fascinating, man. Okay, one more call here. Hey, Kim, good morning. You're on Q100.

[C]

Good morning. How are you today?

[D]

All right. How are you?

[C]

Yeah, so one of the things I wanted to tell you is that the foot with the flowers thing.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

That's more a foot fetish than the flower fetish thing.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[C]

People want to see the feet doing things, actually.

[B]

So it doesn't matter where the feet are. It's the fact that the feet are in the video.

[C]

Yes. It's all about the feet.

[D]

Okay, so it can be anything so long as the feet are bare, then that's the turn on of the whole thing.

[C]

Exactly. Wine stomping is like one of a big a bigfoot fetishes.

[D]

Of course, we're always hey, the bird show.

[E]

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