Vault: Listeners Clear Rumors About Themselves

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Listeners Clear Rumors About Themselves

Release Date: January 29, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and listeners
Theme: Listeners call in to finally clear the air about persistent rumors circulating in their lives, using The Bert Show’s platform to set the record straight—sometimes anonymously, sometimes with a little humor.

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Overview

In this lighthearted and revealing episode, The Bert Show invites listeners to call in and publicly address (and debunk) rumors that have haunted them—whether at work, with friends, or within their families. The hosts provide a mixture of support, playfulness, and snark as each caller gets their chance to clear their name, leading to a parade of memorable confessions, denials, and comedic moments.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Workplace Romance Rumor Debunked

[00:11–02:35]

• Lindsey calls in to address a rumor at her workplace (a Lexus dealership) that she and her boyfriend were "doing dirty, nasty things" in the company parking lot.
• Clarifies that while they tried to keep their relationship low-key, they did not do anything inappropriate in the parking lot—“maybe” just kissed in the neighboring Walmart lot.
• An anonymous letter had escalated the situation at work, but Lindsey insists the details were fabricated:

  “If it really was that big of a deal ... why would they write it anonymously?” – Lindsey [00:50]

• She notes the embarrassment caused by accusations like returning to work with “stains” on her shirt and even being summoned alongside others to HR.
• Lindsey uses the platform to firmly state:

  “We would never do anything. ... I’m not trying to make a bad name for myself as it is, much less for him.” – Lindsey [01:18]

2. Small Town Scandal – Firefighter Rumor

[02:45–04:24]

• “Jill” wishes to clear up a multi-year rumor in the small town of Acworth—she did NOT sleep with local firemen.
• She explains that though she hung out with a friend who indeed slept with several (even married) firefighters, she’s been saddled with the reputation herself:

  “The rumor is still going around ... but I’m here to say that it was not me. It was her. And the Cobb county fireman who was involved knows who I’m talking about.” – Jill [03:26]

• Uses a voice disguiser for anonymity, fearing more drama in the small town.
• Hosts joke about the effectiveness of “clearing your name” anonymously:

  “Well ... it doesn’t do you much good to be on the voice disguiser and use a fake name, then, does it?” – Bert [03:39]
  “Actually not. No, because they know.” – Jill [04:15]

3. Vague Denial – The North Georgia Mystery

[04:27–05:08]

• Another (anonymous and disguised) caller jokingly uses the segment to “clear” their own fake name, denying any wrongdoing of unspecified nature:

  “All I can say is North Georgia is a small place ... but I didn’t do it. Someone else did.” – “Jim/Jesse” [04:56]

4. Family Accusations – Drug Dealer Stigma

[05:10–06:01]

• “Bud” phones in to let his family—especially on his dad’s side—know he is NOT the drug dealer they have him pegged as.
• He attributes the rumor to being the “black sheep” who works independently and not under the family roof:

  “If I ain’t doing what they think I should be doing, I’m doing something wrong.” – Bud [05:45]

• Bert quips: “Dude, you totally are. Listen to you.” [05:23] playing with the suspicion for laughs.

5. High School Stereotypes – Misinterpreted Appearance

[06:10–08:30]

• Lindsey (Martin, as later clarified) recounts being shocked that her high school and college peers believed she was a “major pothead” and dealer—solely due to her hippie/bohemian style:

  “Just because I dress means that I deal drugs?” – Lindsey [06:52]

• She clarifies she’s never even smoked, but the stigma has stuck for years.
• Bert suggests she use her real name:

  “I want Roswell to know that Lindsey Martin is not selling drugs in Roswell. She’s never done drugs.” – Bert [08:07]

• Light-hearted commentary from the cast about needing a “‘I’m not a pothead—I just dress like one’” T-shirt. [08:30]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Anonymous Accusers in the Workplace:

  “If it really was that big of a deal ... why would they write it anonymously?” – Lindsey [00:50]

• Host Playfulness About Parking Lot Temptations:

  “There’s a weird gravitational pull as soon as you pull into that parking lot at the Walmart and you have to fight it.” – Bert [01:54]

• On Clearing Names While Remaining Anonymous:

  “Well ... it doesn’t do you much good to be on the voice disguiser and use a fake name, then, does it?” – Bert [03:39] “Actually not. No, because they know.” – Jill [04:15]

• On Small Town Gossip:

  “North Georgia is a small place ... but I didn’t do it. Someone else did.” – “Jim/Jesse” [04:56]

• On Family Suspicions:

  “If I ain’t doing what they think I should be doing, I’m doing something wrong.” – Bud [05:45]

• The Power of Appearance:

  “Just because I dress means that I deal drugs?” – Lindsey [06:52] “I want Roswell to know that Lindsey Martin is not selling drugs in Roswell ... She’s never done drugs.” – Bert [08:07]

• Running Joke:

  “She needs a T shirt. I’m not a pothead. I just dress like one.” – Host [08:30]

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Timestamps by Segment

• [00:11] Lindsey’s parking lot rumor
• [02:45] Jill’s firefighter rumor
• [04:27] Jim/Jesse’s vague North Georgia denial
• [05:10] Bud on not being a drug dealer
• [06:10] Lindsey Martin and the “pothead” stereotype

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Tone and Style

The episode is conversational, supportive, and often humorous. Hosts alternate between empathy and playful teasing, creating space for callers to explain themselves and laugh about the sometimes absurd, sometimes unfair rumors that follow them.

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Summary

This episode of The Bert Show showcases everyday people leveraging the radio platform to clear their names from wild or persistent rumors in a uniquely candid and frequently comical way. From workplace drama to hometown scandals to family suspicions, the stories highlight the lasting power of gossip and the surprisingly therapeutic act of simply “setting the record straight”—even if only for a morning-radio audience.

Transcript

[Burt]

The Burt Show.

[Co-host]

If there's a rumor going on around you and you know it's out there, but it's too big for you to touch everybody, you call us. We put it out right now. Okay, Lindsey, go ahead, use us. Let us help you.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Co-host]

All right. So there's a rumor swirling about you right now, and you need to clear the air.

[Lindsey Martin]

Well, it's just.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

I mean, there was a letter that was written to my work, to all my human resources, and to all my big bosses and stuff, saying that me and my boyfriend were doing dirty, nasty things in the parking lot.

[Burt]

And were you?

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

That we know, God knows, maybe in the Walmart parking lot next door, but not there.

[Burt]

I mean, there's your clarification, right?

[Co-host]

You gotta be in the mood, right?

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

But I mean, Walmart I'll do was next door. You know, we were trying to keep our relationships quiet just for that reason, because we weren't trying to let everybody know, because once everybody at work knows, it's just like high school.

[Bud]

Mm.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Rumor gets around and it starts ruining your relationship. So we were trying to keep our relationship on the down low. And yeah, somebody wrote an anonymous letter. And if, you know, if it really was that big of a deal saying they were offended, then why would they write it anonymously? Why don't they just come out and let everybody know who it was?

[Co-host]

So are you saying. So you're saying now that it's absolutely false and there was nothing going on between.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Oh, I mean, there's stuff going on as my boyfriend, but not in the Lexus parking lot. You know, we would never do anything.

[Caller 1]

He's.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

He's very respected at that. At the dealership. And nobody would ever. He would never let anything like that happen. And I wouldn't let anything like that happen. I just started the job there. And so I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to make a bad name for myself as it is, much less for him.

[Burt]

But you did go next door to the Walmart.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

We never did anything in the Walmart parking lot. We maybe kissed a little bit, but I mean, I'm not a public. I don't like display of affection publicly anyway.

[Burt]

Even in a Walmart parking lot, it's hard to resist.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Not even in the Walmart parking lot.

[Co-host]

There's a weird gravitational pull.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Do what?

[Co-host]

There's a weird gravitational pull as soon as you pull into that parking lot at the Walmart and you have to fight it. You gotta fight it.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

We had our spot we'd meet up at. But yeah, the letter Said stuff like, I would come back from lunch with stains on my shirt and said in parentheses something about yummy, yummy. And, yeah, it was extremely embarrassing. And then there was more than just me and him called into the office because there were other people's names involved.

[Co-host]

Okay, so you want to publicly let everybody at Lexus know. Look, stop talking right now. That me and the boyfriend weren't doing any in the parking lot.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Exactly.

[Co-host]

They now know.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Thank you.

[Co-host]

Your name has been cleared. Do what says your name has been cleared.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Oh, thanks, you guys.

[Co-host]

Bye.

[Bud]

Bye.

[Burt]

Yummy.

[Co-host]

Stained shirt. Yummy, yummy. I love this segment. Jill, good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 1]

Good morning.

[Lindsey Martin]

Can I have the voice disguiser, please?

[Co-host]

Yes, you may.

[Burt]

Joe, you need a fake name.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

I'm good.

[Co-host]

Okay. All right, you're on the voices, guys.

[Burt]

Perfect.

[Caller 1]

Okay. There. A couple years ago, a friend of mine and I, you know, we hung out a lot, and she actually owns a shop, hairdressing shop in Acworth. And she used to go around and hang around with Cobb county firemen and sleep around with them, also married ones. Well, the rumor got around that it was me because she was trying to be all innocent. I'm here to say. And believe it or not, the rumor is still going around. It's been a couple years now, but I'm here to say that it was not me. It was her. And the Cobb county fireman who was involved with it knows who I'm talking about.

[Co-host]

Well, if you're trying to clear your name, how. It doesn't do you much good to be on the voice disguiser and use a fake name then, does it?

[Caller 1]

Well, I knew that you were gonna say that, but Acworth is so small that there's. I mean, I just don't want to get it all started again.

[Burt]

All right, so this mystery person did not sleep with a firefighter.

[Caller 1]

Correct. None of them had nothing to do with them. The other person did.

[Burt]

All of the other person slept with the firefighter. Thank you for clearing that up.

[Co-host]

Well, what if people think it's the.

[Caller 1]

It was one firefighter, though. It was. It was. You know, not at the same time, but it was just. Yeah.

[Co-host]

Well, don't you think that a lot of people will believe that it's the other person that really was doing the sleeping around is now on the voice disguiser using a fake name?

[Caller 1]

Actually not. No, because they know. They know.

[Burt]

They know, Bert.

[Co-host]

Okay. If you're in the know now, you know.

[Caller 1]

All right, thanks so much, guys. Thank you. All right, bye. Bye.

[Burt]

I would like, to clear my fake name. If nobody minds, I'd like to use your airwaves. My not name is Jim and my fake name is Jesse. Please put me on the voice disguiser. I would like everyone to know I did not do what I've been accused of doing. Someone else did it. I can't go into detail about what was done. All I can say is North Georgia is a small place.

[Co-host]

Thank you. You're clear.

[Burt]

And it was the other party. It was totally consensual. I'm not saying what it was, where we were, or when, but I didn't do it. Someone else did.

[Co-host]

Good morning, bud. You're on Q100.

[Burt]

Named John Doe.

[Co-host]

He was in the library with the.

[Burt]

Kenneth.

[Lindsey Martin]

What's up, bud?

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Hey.

[Bud]

I just wanna let my whole family on my dad's side know that I'm not the drug dealer they think I am, so.

[Burt]

Dude, you totally are. Listen to you.

[Co-host]

Well, he's just. He's dealing different drugs than they think he is. All right, so how did this whole rumor get started with you?

[Bud]

I don't know. I guess I'm just the black sheep outside the family. And, you know, I don't work for my dad. I just kind of do my own thing. You know, I work for myself. And everybody just feels like, you know, if I ain't doing what they think I should be doing, I'm doing something wrong.

[Co-host]

So you've never dealt drugs before and you want everybody in the house to know that?

[Bud]

Exactly.

[Co-host]

Okay. What's your name?

[Bud]

Bud.

[Co-host]

Okay, bud. All right. Your name has been cleared.

[Bud]

All right. Appreciate it.

[Co-host]

Bye. Bye. Morning, Q100. There's a reoccurring theme going on now. Hey, Liz.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

Apparently.

[Lindsey Martin]

When I was in. I was actually at a restaurant the other night, and somebody they went to high school with walked up to me and they were saying. They were like, hey, you know, what's going on? We were, like, catching up or whatever, and. And he looks at me and he goes, so, you know, are you still dealing? And I was, like, feeling what? He's like, you know, like, do you still smoke? And I was like, I've never smoked a day in my life. Smoke what? And, like, I'm totally naive because I've never done anything.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

I don't even.

[Lindsey Martin]

Like, I don't even drink. And so he was like, you know, like.

[Caller 1]

Like.

[Lindsey Martin]

Like buzz. Like, you know, do you still not. I'm like. I was like, whoa, where'd you get that from? He's like, are you kidding me? He's like, in high School, you, like, you always dressed like a hippie. And in college, you kind of, you know, had that bohemian look. He's like, everybody knows that you used to deal. And I was like, just because I dress means that I feel drunk. And it, like, became this thing. And I was like, are you kidding? I was like, who thinks that? They were like, the entire senior class of high school has always thought that you were, like, this major pothead. And you have always had connections. And I was like, sorry to break it to you, friend, but I don't.

[Co-host]

So did anybody ever come up to you going, hey, I know you got the good stuff. Can.

[Lindsey Martin]

Actually, in college, it happened to me.

[Lindsey (Caller 2)]

I was on my way to English.

[Lindsey Martin]

Class, and I kind of, like, passed it off like, oh, I must not be the person you think I am. Like, I mean, because I'm not going to sit here and say I'm, like, the most innocent person on the planet, but I've never touched it. So I'm so naive to all of that. I'm 26 years old, so I'm just kind of like, huh, Smoke what? I've never smoked cigarettes. And he's like, no, like, you know, like, the good stuff.

[Co-host]

I'm like, so specifically, what community do you want to know that you have never dealt drugs?

[Lindsey Martin]

Roswell.

[Co-host]

Roswell. All right.

[Caller 1]

So crazy.

[Co-host]

Lindsay followed her.

[Lindsey Martin]

I know Lindsay.

[Co-host]

I think in a case like this, if you wanted to. To use your last name, you sure could do that. So it would be. I want Roswell to know that Lindsey Blank.

[Lindsey Martin]

Lindsey Martin.

[Co-host]

Lindsay Martin is not selling drugs in Roswell. She's never done drugs.

[Burt]

So Lindsay Martin's not selling drugs. And we're also supposed to believe the same thing about the guy named Bud.

[Co-host]

Her name has now been cleared. So in Roswell, just know if you're going to Lindsey for the kind bud, she doesn't have it. It's just not gonna happen.

[Lindsey Martin]

She's never done it.

[Co-host]

Never done it. She just dresses that way.

[Burt]

She needs a T shirt. I'm not a pothead. I just dress like one. The Birch Show.