The Bert Show: Vault – Listeners Describe The Show In 5 Words…

Airdate: January 29, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting

Episode Overview

In this special episode, the Bert Show team invites longtime listeners to sum up their experience of the show in five words or less. Blending nostalgia and humor, the hosts reflect on their history, recognize familiar voices, and react to quirky, heartfelt, and sometimes brutally honest listener responses. The episode highlights the deep bond between the show and its audience, mixing light banter, candid feedback, and funny memories in classic morning radio style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the Two Types of Listeners

(00:00–00:50)

• Host A (Bert) introduces the premise:
  • There are longtime listeners familiar with the show’s history and inside jokes, and newcomers who have joined after the frequency change to 99.7.
  • Challenge to listeners: “Describe the Bert Show, but do it in five words or less.”

    “You have to describe The Bert Show…five words or less. You have to describe the Bert show.” — Host A (01:18)

2. Hosts Share Their Own Five-Word Descriptions

(00:58–02:10)

• Hosts get playful with their own submissions:
  • “Really ugly in the morning.”
  • “Makes my commute fun.”
  • “Better be drunk.”
  • “Really, really, really, really drunk. Like 3:30 in the morning drunk.” — Host B (02:06)

3. Listener Calls: Warmth, Nostalgia & Inside Jokes

(02:20–08:04)

• Listener Tony reminisces about the early days:
  • “Jen is better than Lindsey.” (02:37)
    • Sparks banter about past hosts and running gags.
• Longtime listener moving to a new town:
  • “Always changing with the times.” (03:37)
  • Shares how the show is a “piece of home” to take with her.

    “I feel like I get to take a piece of home with me.” — Listener C (04:16)

• Other listener gems and appreciation:
  • “You guys are the bomb.” (05:05)
  • “You guys are the best. No. The best of the new.” — Linda (05:16)
    • Reminisces about missing karaoke and former cast members.
  • “Keeps me from road rage.” — Jennifer (06:07)
  • “Exposing real people problems daily.” — Host B (06:11)
  • “Really juicy morning talk radio.” — Listener C (06:21)
  • “I’ll bet Jesus would listen.” (06:29)
• More warm acknowledgment of show’s consistency:
  • “Like listening to friends.” (06:51)
• Some irreverence and running jokes:
  • “Wish you were dead.” (07:12, joking about possible harsh submissions)
  • “Pushing the limits of radio.” (07:15)
• Listeners on dependency and daily routine:
  • “Can’t start day without you.” — Tracy (07:32)
    • “Keps me in sync.” (07:55, dialogue)
• Ending with a callback:
  • “Jesus would not listen.” (07:57)
  • Echoes earlier joke, prompting laughter.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hosts on Five-Word Challenge:

  “It could just be funny or ugly or Jeff sucks or whatever, but it’s five words or less.” — Host A (01:18)

• Listener on loyalty:

  “I have been a listener since day one… I get to take my friends with me.” — Listener C (04:13)

• Listener on catharsis:

  “Keeps me from road rage.” — Jennifer (06:07)

• Listener on authenticity:

  “Not afraid to be authentic.” — Caller (01:43)

• Listeners’ irreverent humor:

  “Jesus would not listen.” — Melanie (07:57)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Quote | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–00:50 | Introduction of challenge; types of listeners | | 00:58–02:10 | Hosts offer their own five-word descriptions | | 02:20–03:32 | Listener Tony: “Jen is better than Lindsey” | | 03:33–04:45 | Listener moving to Milledgeville, “piece of home” | | 05:05–05:10 | “You guys are the bomb.” | | 05:16–05:36 | “The best of the new.” and missing karaoke | | 06:07 | “Keeps me from road rage.” | | 06:11 | “Exposing real people problems daily.” | | 06:21 | “Really juicy morning talk radio.” | | 06:29 | “I’ll bet Jesus would listen.” | | 06:51 | “Like listening to friends.” | | 07:12 | Jokes about negative descriptions | | 07:15 | “Pushing the limits of radio.” | | 07:32 | “Can’t start day without you.” | | 07:55 | “Keeps me in sync.” | | 07:57 | “Jesus would not listen.” |

Tone & Energy

• The episode is high-spirited, affectionate, and irreverent, in line with The Bert Show’s tradition.
• Listeners and hosts share honest, sometimes silly, sometimes heartfelt moments.
• Quick banter and mutual roasting reflect the show’s authenticity and its close-knit community feel.

In Summary

This episode is a heartfelt, humorous showcase of what makes The Bert Show beloved by its listeners: real talk, inside jokes, and a true sense of friendship and community. By crowd-sourcing five-word descriptions, the show not only reminisces about its legacy but also reinforces its role in making mornings lighter and more connected for its fans.