Vault: Listeners Expose the Moment the Show Went Too Far, and Why They're Still Hooked

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Listeners Expose the Moment the Show Went Too Far, and Why They're Still Hooked

Air Date: March 20, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, The Bert Show turns the spotlight on their own biggest critics—the listeners—inviting them to expose infamous moments when the show went "too far." People call in to vent about their pet peeves, grievances, or the very thing that had them swearing they'd never listen again, but ultimately, most of them are still loyal fans. The hosts listen, laugh, and reminisce about their controversial decisions, quirky habits, and what keeps both the show and its fans coming back for more.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Breaking Point Moments

• Annoyances and Overused Bits ([01:00]-[02:00])
  • Callers shared pet peeves, like the infamous "paper wad face-throwing" bit and overuse of the voice disguiser, which made some listeners want to tune out.
  • Jeff: “Once something like that gets inside your head, then it’s the only thing you hear.” [01:51]
  • Javi: Relates, sharing how her dad pointed out her overuse of "like" as a teen, making her hyper-aware.

2. Accents and Identity

• Regional Bias Calls ([02:22]-[03:43])
  • Caller Steve: Complains about Jeff’s “northern accent,” and says it’s a major irritant that’s made him quit listening—multiple times.
  • Jeff (joking): “If I could, I would exaggerate it—if I knew what it was.” [03:44]
  • The cast reflects on how accents (real and fake) affect perceptions and habits.

3. The Show’s Infamous “Rank the Listeners” Stunt

• Brandy’s Rating Grudge ([04:10]-[05:39])
  • Brandy: Shares that she quit listening after being ranked a “four” in an on-air “send us your pic and we’ll rate you” segment. She admits, “There’s no way in heck that I’m a four!” [04:27]
  • The hosts clarify the segment, with laughs and a bit of embarrassment.
  • Brandy: Came back to the show anyway, admitting she missed the crew.

4. Rivalries and Changing Stations

• The 99X Loyalist ([05:40]-[06:25])
  • Caller Cody: Had sworn never to listen because he was a diehard fan of rival station 99X, but now tunes in daily. Credits “Bert’s great personality and the crew’s humor” for winning him over.
  • Jeff (Host): Reminisces about the “99X” resentment and how they still hear about it.

5. Politics and Audience Sensitivity

• Obama Inauguration Fallout ([06:25]-[07:51])
  • Caller Steve: His wife refuses to listen after feeling the Obama inauguration coverage was too “over the top” and partisan.
  • Javi: “She needs to nurse her McCain wounds.” [07:19]
  • The hosts joke and explain they’ve returned to “superficial” topics.

6. Newcomers and Lasting Impressions

• Fresh Listeners ([07:52]-[08:46])
  • Marlene (Caller): Recently started listening, hasn’t yet hit her breaking point, and enjoys the “excitement and opinions.”
  • Jeff: Jokes about getting Marlene to talk sense into future disgruntled callers.

7. Past Segment Repercussions

• The Lie Detector Fallout ([08:49]-[09:54])
  • Teresa (Caller): Stopped listening after being called a liar on a voice-activated lie detector segment related to her firing (for allegedly watching porn at work), but says she won her case and has since returned to the show.
  • Hosts are surprised and happy to welcome her back.

8. Quirky Habits: Sounds and Fidgets

• Annoying Noises ([10:04]-[11:54])
  • Katie (Caller): Points out annoying noises, specifically Bert’s habit of sucking air through his teeth, and a supposed nail-filing sound.
  • The team clarifies the “nail-filing” is actually a piece of weather alert equipment in the studio, not vanity.
  • Melissa: “We may be divas, but we’re not that much of a diva.” [11:09]
  • Banter continues about good manicures, misunderstanding, and the quirks of live radio.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Once something like that gets inside your head, then it’s the only thing you hear.”
  — Jeff (Host) [01:51]
• “[Bert] constantly sucks air through his teeth. Do you guys know that?”
  — Katie (Caller) [10:07]
• “There’s no way in heck that I’m a four! I mean, I’m just like, okay.”
  — Brandy (Caller) [04:27]
• “We may be divas, but we’re not that much of a diva.”
  — Melissa (Co-host) [11:09]
• “I gave you guys a chance. And Bert just had the best personality. And you all are hilarious. So every morning when I go to work…”
  — Cody (Caller) [05:59]
• “If people can't stand the opinion, that means it's the truth and it hurts them, and truth hurts.”
  — Marlene (Caller) [08:26]

---

Important Timestamps

• [01:00] – Show opens with listener grievances: what made people swear off The Bert Show
• [02:22] – Caller Steve’s accent complaint & hosts discuss regional differences
• [04:10] – Brandy vents about the listener ranking episode
• [05:43] – Caller Cody discusses switching loyalties from 99X
• [06:25] – Politics talk: listener leaves over Obama inauguration coverage
• [07:55] – Marlene explains why she’s enjoying the show (for now)
• [08:53] – Teresa recounts her exit and return after the lie detector episode
• [10:04] – Noises and fidgets: Bert’s air-sucking, “nail-filing,” and studio quirks

---

Conclusion

The episode is a candid, funny, self-aware look at the love-hate relationship The Bert Show has with its audience. From gripes about accents, segments gone awry, to studio quirks and moments the show “went too far,” both hosts and fans dish it out and take it in good humor—ultimately underlining that what hooks people is the show’s mix of authenticity, boldness, and the personal connections forged (however rocky at times) with listeners.

---

Transcript

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

At Amica Insurance, we know it's not just about where you're going, but who you go with. That's why we work even harder to protect what matters most. And as a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amica empathy is our best policy. Visit amica.com and get a quote today.

[Ryan from Chumba Casino]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses. So sign up [e-mail] that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Caller Steve]

VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Jeff (Host)]

The Birch show so we threw it out here. We actually got a phone call yesterday from somebody who said, I'm never listening to you again.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Right?

[Jeff (Host)]

Usually when people say that, they say things that are, you know, it's really bizarre. Things that make them decide, you know, that they're not listening for them as

[Javi (Co-host)]

you sneeze too much, right? I'm never listening again.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Your voice annoys me.

[Jeff (Host)]

I actually had a friend of mine, I had a friend of mine say, remember there was this brief period of time where throwing hitting each other in the face with a paper wad while we were on the air was a big deal. Somebody got so annoyed at the sound of and weather today. And then somebody goes, good shot. Got so annoying. And it was only like, I don't know, four weeks. But two weeks into it, they're like, I can't listen to you anymore. And they turned it off.

[Javi (Co-host)]

One of my friends said that we used the voice disguiser too much in one week. And she was like, nah, I can't hear it anymore.

[Jeff (Host)]

Because once something like that gets inside your head, then it's the only thing you hear.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's the only thing you hear, right?

[Jeff (Host)]

If you hear a song, even that has like an obscure sample in it. And then somebody points out what that sample is. It's the only thing you can hear. Get out of my head.

[Javi (Co-host)]

It's like my dad, when I was a teenager could point out how many times I said like in a sentence. And he would go, I would tell him a conversation, you know, how was school today? And I would finish it and he would be like, 13. 13 times you said the word like in that sentence, and then all you can do is say like, yes, because you're trying not to.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, John. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller Steve]

Hey, good morning.

[Jeff (Host)]

What's going on, man?

[Caller Steve]

Just. Just venting on you, Jeff.

[Jeff (Host)]

Okay.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Oh, no.

[Caller Steve]

You know, I guess one thing I can't really. I'm not really happy about the way that, you know, your northern accent really gets on my nerves.

[Jeff (Host)]

Now, getting on your nerves is one thing, but have you ever said, I'm never listening to that show again?

[Caller Steve]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Jeff (Host)]

Okay, good.

[Javi (Co-host)]

We're glad you're back.

[Jeff (Host)]

How often do you say that?

[Caller Steve]

Well, just about every day I listen to you. You know, the only reason, you know, you talk about this ranch dressing. I know a lot of northerners, and they. They like ranch dressing. You talk about putting ranch dressing. Makes love to ranch dressing and all this stuff. But. But, you know, really and truly, you're too opinionated. And when y'. All. When the. When Bert's not there. Yeah, it's.

[Brandy (Caller)]

It's.

[Caller Steve]

It's total different show, you know, and I think you compensate a little bit too much. You're not yourself. When. When he's not there, you kind of change a little bit. You know, I. I don. That's one thing, but I think most of all, it's that northern damn accent.

[Javi (Co-host)]

He's so southern, he can't stand it.

[Jeff (Host)]

And the worst part about having a northern or having an accent and being the person with it is you don't hear your own accent.

[Javi (Co-host)]

I don't hear your accent.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I don't either.

[Jeff (Host)]

If I could.

[Javi (Co-host)]

I'm just used to it.

[Jeff (Host)]

If I could, I would exaggerate it, like, if I knew what it was.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Yeah. I notice your accent is when you say ruin instead of ruin.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Yeah. I laugh internally that every time that guy was. And I'm never listening again.

[Jeff (Host)]

That fella right there is pretty southern. He probably think you have a northern accent, Ms. Javi.

[Javi (Co-host)]

That's true.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

You know what annoys me is there's no accent there. Fake southern accents. Don't norm me.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Hey, Randy, by the way, ranch dressing is really good on everything.

[Jeff (Host)]

Oh, ranch dressing is heaven.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I know.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

I love it.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, what's going on, Randy?

[Brandy (Caller)]

Well, it's Brandy, actually. Hey, Brandy, I stopped listening to you all, I guess because my ego got hurt a few years. About four years ago, you all had. You send your picture in and you get ranked. You want to like me a four?

[Javi (Co-host)]

Oh, no.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I'm like, there's no way in heck that I'M a four. I mean, I'm just like, okay.

[Caller Steve]

I was like.

[Brandy (Caller)]

And then I think it was Tracy doing it. I'm like, well, that skis isn't that cute either, so I'm just gonna stop listening.

[Jeff (Host)]

Did you. Did you come back?

[Brandy (Caller)]

Yeah, I did.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

We missed you. Yeah, I'm glad you're back.

[Jeff (Host)]

Did you come back to the show when you heard that Tracy got all pregnant, which means she's getting fat and that way.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I actually came back before then.

[Jeff (Host)]

Okay, good.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I can't believe you said that, Jeff.

[Jeff (Host)]

But it's part of you secretly happy that she's pregnant.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Well, I'm not mad. I mean, that's a good thing.

[Caller Steve]

So.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Yeah, but I mean, I'm mad. I mean, I wish her luck, but I'm like, I'm so not a four.

[Jeff (Host)]

I don't think she was doing the rating. I mean, I don't want him to send you away again, but I think she was just bringing them into us and telling and reporting what the ratings were. But if I'm not mistaken, I think we were rating you.

[Javi (Co-host)]

No, I thought it was listeners. I thought it was other listeners doing the ratings.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

We just got. We got her back.

[Javi (Co-host)]

We just got her back.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Especially with that picture I've been in. I'm like. I don't like somebody's a jello tapper.

[Jeff (Host)]

Do you want to send in another picture, Jeff?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

We just got her back.

[Caller Steve]

No.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Brandy loves us now.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Thank you, Brandy.

[Caller Steve]

Thank you.

[Jeff (Host)]

Bye, Brandy.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Thank you. Bye.

[Caller Steve]

Bye.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I don't know what's wrong with you.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, Cody. What's going on?

[Caller Steve]

Good morning.

[Jeff (Host)]

What's up?

[Brandy (Caller)]

Good morning.

[Caller Steve]

I used to hate you guys.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Why?

[Caller Steve]

I was a loyal fan to 99X.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Oh, I see.

[Jeff (Host)]

And we took him over.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I still get that. I still get people mad at me.

[Jeff (Host)]

But you gave us a chance, and

[Caller Steve]

I gave you guys a chance. And Bert just had the best personality. And you all are hilarious. So every morning when I go to work.

[Jeff (Host)]

Did you especially like those pictures of Burt with his shirt off?

[Caller Steve]

That's a negative.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Now he's never listening again.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

He's like, jeff, I'm sabotaging this.

[Jeff (Host)]

I hear that a lot, too. Like the 99x thing.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I just got it the other day.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, Steve. Welcome to the show.

[Caller Steve]

Hey, how's it going?

[Jeff (Host)]

What's up?

[Caller Steve]

Hey, yeah, I was just calling. I still listen to the show. You know, I love you guys, and my wife actually is the one that got me started, but now she's kind of ticked off at you guys.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

What do we do what we do.

[Caller Steve]

Well, it was just the. When the whole Obama inauguration was going on, and she kind of felt like you were a little over the top on it, and she's a big Republican, so it kind of hurt her feelings a little bit, and she just got turned off.

[Jeff (Host)]

And remind us again, who is Obama?

[Caller Steve]

Obama is our president.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Well, tell her that now that it's, you know, the election coverage and the inauguration and everything is said and done, we're back to talking about much more superficial things, right?

[Caller Steve]

Yeah, that's what I've been trying to tell her, but I think for a little while, she needs to. She needs to not listen.

[Javi (Co-host)]

She needs to nurse her McCain wounds.

[Caller Steve]

Yeah. I think she's. I think she's kind of chilled out right now.

[Jeff (Host)]

I don't know what this is about, but if you want to tell her to listen tomorrow when Bert is back, if he's feeling better, he'll be back tomorrow. Apparently, he said on the air yesterday that he.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

He's not happy with Obama.

[Jeff (Host)]

He's not happy with Obama, who he voted for. So you may want to have her tune in for that, and that'll make her. Because I won't say much during that, but inside, I'll be like,

[Caller Steve]

okay, thanks

[Jeff (Host)]

for the call, Steve.

[Caller Steve]

All right, thanks.

[Jeff (Host)]

I see you.

[Ryan from Chumba Casino]

Bye.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, Marlene.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Hey.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey.

[Javi (Co-host)]

When did you say you're never listening to the virtual ever again?

[Brandy (Caller)]

I haven't said I never listened to it. I said I just started recently listening to it, and I've enjoyed it.

[Jeff (Host)]

Oh, okay. Well, that's cool. Thank you. Give it time, because we'll do something that'll make you say, never again.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I don't know. You're not. You're not. Not boring. You're very exciting to listen to. There's always something going on, and it's just exciting.

[Jeff (Host)]

Well, that's our problem, because we're exciting and we're opinionated, and, you know, we're

[Melissa (Co-host)]

only opinionated if it's the other opinion.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Right. I mean, that's how to be opinionated. And if people can't, you know, stand the opinion, that means it's the truth and it hurts them, and truth hurts. So they might as well, you know, just get a grip and get over it.

[Javi (Co-host)]

That's right.

[Jeff (Host)]

Wow. I want. You know what, Marlene? I almost want to get your number, and if somebody ever calls us and says, never listen to you again, then I want you to talk to them. Yeah, because they probably still won't listen, but at least you'll put the in their place.

[Brandy (Caller)]

All Right. I can do that.

[Jeff (Host)]

Hey, Teresa, welcome to the show.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Hey, good morning.

[Jeff (Host)]

What's up?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Morning.

[Brandy (Caller)]

I was calling because, I don't know if you guys remember, I had called to volunteer to take the lie detector.

[Jeff (Host)]

Yes.

[Brandy (Caller)]

It was voice activated. I was terminated from my job for porn, and you guys brought me on and said I had the lowest score but never allowed me to come back on to give where it was at. And I just wanted to call and say I listen again, because after that I didn't.

[Jeff (Host)]

So you stopped listening after we proved you were a liar and now you're back.

[Brandy (Caller)]

No. Well, no, you guys actually never let me come back on. You had me come on and say I had the lowest score, but you never had me come back on to show where it was telling me that I had lied.

[Jeff (Host)]

Oh, why didn't we do that?

[Brandy (Caller)]

I don't know.

[Javi (Co-host)]

We always follow up on stories.

[Brandy (Caller)]

A couple times, and my mom was re diagnosed with cancer, and she kept saying, you know, we'll do it the next time. We'll do it next time. But I just had so many other things going on. I just said, you know, I just forget it. But actually went, you know, we had a hearing and I won my case because they had no proof.

[Caller Steve]

So.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Wow.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Okay.

[Jeff (Host)]

Congratulations for you. Well, thank you.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Thanks for coming back.

[Jeff (Host)]

Thank you for coming back.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Yeah. I love you guys. Thank you.

[Javi (Co-host)]

I'm surprised we follow up on a follow up on a follow up on a follow up.

[Jeff (Host)]

Oh, yeah, we will drag it out. Yeah, we will. Hey, Katie, welcome to the show.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Hey, how are y'? All?

[Jeff (Host)]

What's up?

[Brandy (Caller)]

You guys make some of the strangest noises, and I don't even think you're aware of it. Like, Bert constantly sucks air through his teeth. Do you guys know that?

[Jeff (Host)]

Oh, come on.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Don't do that.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

We're gonna listen to.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Yeah, give us the example.

[Jeff (Host)]

What does it sound like? What does it sound like?

[Brandy (Caller)]

He'll. He'll be like. Like in between a sentence and just breathe in really hard. It's uncomfortable to listen to. And one of you guys files your nails on the air. I know you do. I've never found my nails.

[Jeff (Host)]

You know what? I can tell you what that is. That's not. Now filing. We have. There's a piece of equipment in here that they cannot legally remove from the studio that is related to the weather alerts.

[Javi (Co-host)]

Weather alerts, Tornadoes, abducted children.

[Jeff (Host)]

And it has to be in the studio because it prints out. It's a little printer urgent thing. But the printer is seriously, like, one of those old School stock tickers.

[Caller Steve]

It is?

[Brandy (Caller)]

Yeah. It sounds like somebody's filing their nails and I'm like, seriously? You're gonna scratch them all off?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

We may be divas, but we're not that much of a diva. Well, anyway, Bert.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Well, tell Bert to change the way he breathes. It's really annoying.

[Jeff (Host)]

We'll pass it along to him. Thanks for calling, Katie.

[Brandy (Caller)]

Bye.

[Caller Steve]

Bye. Bye.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I'm glad you figured out what that was, because she wasn't gonna believe us when we say we. Don't follow us.

[Jeff (Host)]

I've gotten emails, people. For whatever reason, Melissa, everybody thinks it's you.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

And I'm following my nails.

[Jeff (Host)]

I've got Miranda while it happens.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Are the lesbians in here falling her

[Jeff (Host)]

nails the last time it happened?

[Brandy (Caller)]

Diva.

[Caller Steve]

Well, hello.

[Jeff (Host)]

I was in. I was on, but wasn't paying attention. And like 30 minutes later, I clicked over to the Facebook screen and there were like six instant messages. And five of them were, please tell Melissa to stop filing her nails.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Are you serious? Well, you know what? I do believe in a well manicured hand. So.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

The Burt Show At Amica Insurance, we know it's not just about where you're going, but who you go with. That's why we work even harder to protect what matters most. And as a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Ameca Empathy is our best policy. Visit ameca.com and get a quote today.

[Jeff (Host)]

Tyler Redick here from 23 XI.

[Ryan from Chumba Casino]

Racing another checkered flag for the books.

[Jeff (Host)]

Time to celebrate with Chumba.

[Ryan from Chumba Casino]

Jump [e-mail] lets shamba no purchase necessary btw group void where prohibited by law ctncs21plus sponsored by Chumba Casino

[Lisa (Simple Practice Announcer)]

hi, my name is Lisa and I'm a licensed psychotherapist. Which means my work doesn't magically end when the session does. There are notes to write, appointments to manage, billing, insurance, follow ups, and somehow all that admin used to creep into my nights and weekends. That's why I switched to Simple Practice. Simple Practice is an all in one electronic health record built specifically for therapists with HIPAA compliant tools. High trust certification. So I don't have to worry about juggling systems or cutting corners just to keep things running. Scheduling, documentation, billing, insurance, client communications, even automated appointment reminders. It all lives in one place. And if you're starting or growing a practice, Simple Practice also offers a credentialing service that helps simplify insurance enrollment, which can be a huge lift when you're starting to scale. Start with a seven day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to simplepractice.com again that's simplepractice.com.