Vault: Listeners Open Up About The Success Of Their Open Relationships

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Listeners Open Up About The Success Of Their Open Relationships

Date: February 16, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the topic of open relationships, drawing inspiration from recent headlines about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s unconventional marriage agreement. The show explores listener experiences with open relationships—particularly arrangements where couples grant each other freedom to be with others under certain predetermined conditions. Through candid conversations with callers, the hosts unpack the psychological and practical realities behind these non-traditional relationships, asking: Does simply having permission diminish the desire to stray? The tone is light, humorous, and curious, with the cast maintaining their trademark authenticity and unfiltered banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Will & Jada Smith: The Celebrity Open Marriage Example

• [01:31 - 02:59]

  • Co-hosts discuss a recent interview where Will Smith confirms that he and Jada's open relationship policy was established from the beginning, shaped by the belief that attraction to others is natural.
  • Quote: “Our perspective is you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people... You will never hear, ‘I did something afterwards,’ because if that happens, the relationship is destroyed.” – Will Smith (via co-host, 01:31)

• Hosts debate how such a policy might work in practice:

  • Is the “offer” real for both partners?
  • Does simply knowing you have permission make extramarital sex less tempting?
  • Are people (specifically men) taking advantage of such arrangements?

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2. The Psychology of the “Open Door” Policy

• [02:59 - 05:45]
  • Bert (Host) speculates whether the permission itself makes cheating less appealing.
    • “The fact that she made the offer, does it make sleeping around less appealing?” – Host (07:16)
  • The theory: Once you remove the forbidden aspect, the desire might dissipate.
  • Comparison to “cursing around your kids”—if you don’t make it taboo, it loses power.

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3. Listener Call-Ins: Real Stories from Open Relationships

Caller 1: The “Approved List” System

• [06:00 - 07:55]
  • The caller shares that he and his wife have a mutual agreement: any potential partner must be pre-approved by the wife.
  • Despite the green light, he’s never taken up the offer.
  • Quote: “She’s pushed me towards, like, a certain friend of ours… but I haven’t done it yet.” – Caller 1 (07:05)
  • The freedom mainly removes temptation, making the idea less appealing.

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Caller 2: One-Night-Stand “Card”

• [08:12 - 09:20]
  • Another caller has been given a one-night-stand “get out of jail free” card by his wife—but gave it back to her because he cared too much.
  • The arrangement removed curiosity; he flatly refused to use it.
  • Quote: “She’s given me a free one night stand card, but I gave it back to her because I cared too much about her.” – Caller 2 (08:21)
  • Hosts joke about the idea of literally pulling out the card at a bar.

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Caller 3: Open Policy with Imbalance

• [09:34 - 11:32]
  • One caller had a five-year relationship with an open policy initiated by his then-girlfriend (because she wasn’t outgoing, he never acted on it—but she did, several times).
  • After the breakup, she got engaged to one of the people she’d been with.
  • The breakup was messy—reminding listeners that these arrangements can have real-world consequences.

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Caller 4: Pre-Approved Friend “Menu”

• [10:44 - 13:32]
  • In this relationship, the wife maintains a list of her friends who are eligible for the husband to be with, but only on his side—not hers.
  • He’s acted on it only once (with his wife’s best friend), but now he regrets it.
  • Quote: “It only works on my end. Really didn’t come up with the idea. It was her idea… her sex drive is not as strong as mine.” – Caller 4 (13:15, 13:24)
  • The hosts are amazed at the apparent maturity and lack of drama between all involved—even after the liaison.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On the “approved list”
  • “She just has to know them and know they’re not, like, a slut and sleep around.” – Caller 1 (06:22)
• On the psychology:
  • “It kind of just takes the temptation away, you know?” – Caller 1 (07:55)
  • “Funny psychology trick.” – Co-host 1 (07:59)
• Host’s warning:
  • “Be very careful with this information.” – Host (08:01)
• Joking about the one-night-stand card:
  • “Could you stamp it, please?” – Co-host 1 (09:13)
• Regret after acting on the arrangement:
  • “At the time, yeah. But no, not now.” – Caller 4, when asked if he was glad he did it (13:16)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Will & Jada and open relationship context: [01:31 – 02:59]
• Host speculation about male response to open offers: [02:59 – 05:45]
• Caller 1: The “approved list” arrangement: [06:00 – 07:55]
• Caller 2: The one-night-stand card: [08:12 – 09:20]
• Caller 3: Girlfriend acts, boyfriend does not: [09:34 – 10:42]
• Caller 4: Husband-only pre-approved list, acts once, regrets: [10:44 – 13:32]

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Takeaways & Reflections

• Temptation vs. Permission: For many, just having permission diminishes the drive to stray—challenging assumptions about male/female desire and taboo.
• Individual Agreements Differ: Policies and comfort levels vary widely—some couples carefully pre-approve partners, others are more hands-off, and some have one-way arrangements.
• Real-Life Complexity: The psychological and emotional outcomes aren’t always predictable—some find it empowering, others regret acting on the freedom.
• Caution Urged: Hosts consistently remind listeners that these arrangements require deep understanding and trust and are not one-size-fits-all.

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The Bert Show keeps it real and funny throughout, alternating between curiosity, skepticism, and genuine interest in how ordinary people navigate out-of-the-ordinary relationships.

Transcript

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[Co-host 1]

So Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, husband and wife, each with somebody else. Now they've said that the secret to the success of their 11 year marriage is that they have an open relationship. And Will Smith is talking to Reveal magazine and he says, quote, our perspective is you don't avoid what's natural and you're going to be attracted to people. And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other, look, I need to have sex with somebody and now I'm going to. I'm not going to if you don't approve of it. Will Smith says that their open policy has been in place from day one in their ten year marriage.

[Host]

It pretty much has to be.

[Co-host 2]

Don't you think how many Atlanta people are upset that they didn't know that about Will when he was here for a concert a couple Christmases ago?

[Host]

And you could have, you could have.

[Co-host 2]

Hooked up, could have made a move, but you're probably Respectful of Jada. Everything was cool. Saw him at Philip's arena or wherever he hung out afterwards. And he'd go to Vision. I think afterwards, something like, you may have saw him.

[Co-host 1]

That's why he did. I forgot about that.

[Co-host 2]

High fived him at the club. But you could have.

[Host]

You were thinking to yourself, if there just wasn't Jada, I could look up. I could get that. Well, you could have anyway.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, you could have. But she would have had to know about it first. Now, Will Smith said in our marriage vows, we didn't say forsaking all others, we said, you will never hear, I did something afterwards. Because if that happens, the relationship is destroyed. So other things he says are important in his relationship, he says he keeps in shape for his little firecracker Jada. So he hits Jim. Looks good. He said, the look in her eyes and communications is what has kept them together for 11 years.

[Host]

You know, I'm listening to you tell the story, and I have a question to ask here. I'm wondering if there's anybody listening that is in the same type marriage right now. But you've never taken advantage of the offer. So, like, in my mind, this is how it plays out, is that Jada thinks. This is Jada's idea. And she thinks, look, when you have the keys to the kingdom, when you hide those from somebody, all of a sudden you need. It's like it becomes this real prize. So the theory here is that if you offer up, look, go ahead. You know, we've got an open marriage right now. If you want to sleep with other women, I don't want you to feel guilty about it. Just tell me about it first. So he feels free to go ahead and sleep with other women, but he never takes her up. Up on it.

[Co-host 1]

So it's just because the offer is there, it seems less inviting right now.

[Host]

I'm totally fabricating this. So who knows if case. So for just.

[Co-host 1]

Just conversation's sake.

[Host]

For conversation's sake.

[Co-host 2]

Some parents do this with cussing around their kids. Like, if you don't make a huge deal about cuss words and swearing, then the kid doesn't realize that it's a big deal to use those words. So it doesn't use them any more than you would use regular words. You know what I'm saying?

[Host]

So if you're in this kind of relationship, and I guess I'm specifically, maybe even talking to men, and your wife has said, look, if you want to sleep around, look, I understand, Guy. Maybe her theory is it's human nature. I mean, guys need to have sex with more than one woman. It's human nature. I understand it. I don't want to take that away from her. Human nature. But you as a guy have never taken her up on it. Because the offer has been there.

[Co-host 2]

If you want to call in for anything else, too, the lines are wide open.

[Host]

I don't think we'll get any calls on it. I really don't.

[Co-host 1]

Because you think if the offer is there, they would have taken them up on it, especially the guys. I wonder if just the offers just aren't there.

[Host]

I wonder if the offer was there from Jada or from whomever. And the agreement is that you have to tell the wife before you sleep with another woman, but you are allowed to do it. My hunch is that guys still do it and still don't tell the wife that he.

[Co-host 1]

Even though he has the open door policy.

[Host]

Even has the open door policy. I still don't think you have to.

[Co-host 1]

Well, don't they both?

[Host]

I don't think he would. They both do. I'm just assuming that what's fascinating. It's not based on fact, is the.

[Co-host 2]

Very first time that it comes up, like, whoever the first person is that has to go to the other. Hey, Jada, you know that thing we talked about? And then because you got. There's gonna be some anger that. Oh, yeah. So you're real quick to act on that. We haven't even been married a year and a half. You already found a girl you want.

[Host]

To be with, and then she's gonna run down the girl that you're. You're gonna hook up with, right? You kidding me?

[Co-host 1]

Right? She's gotta find out what she looks like.

[Host]

Cousin, that girl that hoe better looking than me. Do what you gotta do.

[Co-host 2]

Or as we call it, she's gonna get all Shirley Franklin in her face.

[Host]

Hey, Curtis.

[Co-host 2]

I've seen the Philadelphia side of me.

[Host]

Hey, Curtis, do you want to be on the voice disguiser? Just a quick yes or no?

[Caller 1]

No, I'm good.

[Host]

Okay. So you have one of these kind of marriages?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, actually, my wife and I have an approved list. They have to be approved before.

[Co-host 1]

What makes them approved or not approved?

[Caller 1]

She has to approve of them.

[Co-host 2]

How does the approval process go?

[Caller 1]

She just has to know them and know they're not, like, a slut and sleep around.

[Host]

So do you, like, have. Will you call, like, a dinner with your wife and this potential sex partner, and they all sit down and y' all talk, and then your wife either gives the green light or Red light.

[Caller 1]

Well, she'll say. She'll just say if we're around somebody, she'll know and she'll say, you know, you can go ahead if you want to.

[Co-host 1]

Really? And there's no jealousy issues afterwards?

[Caller 1]

No.

[Host]

Have you ever taken her up on the offer?

[Caller 1]

I haven't yet, but she's. She's pushed me to, and I've never done it, but I. But she's pushed me towards, like a certain kind of ours.

[Co-host 1]

Wow.

[Host]

Go ahead.

[Caller 1]

Go ahead. You know, but I haven't done it yet.

[Host]

And how long has this agreement been in place between the two of you?

[Caller 1]

About two years. We've been married. We've been married for five years. We've been together for seven.

[Host]

And I'm just trying to get to something here. The fact that she made the offer, does it make sleeping around less appealing?

[Caller 1]

It makes it less appealing. Yeah, it does, I guess. I don't know. I mean, to me, would still feel like I was cheating on my wife.

[Host]

If you. If you cheated or if you slept with somebody else, would you really tell your wife beforehand?

[Caller 1]

Of course you would.

[Co-host 2]

You'd have to.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she's gonna find out anyway.

[Host]

But the bottom line here is that you feel freer and you don't. I mean, you feel like the temptations not there anymore because you got the green light.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. And it kind of just takes the temptation away, you know?

[Host]

That is interesting.

[Co-host 1]

Funny psychology trick.

[Host]

If you're listening to the show, be very careful with this information.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, well, you know, you better know.

[Host]

Your husband really well.

[Co-host 2]

We don't know how many couples are gonna go home to say, did you hear the Birch show this morning?

[Host]

Good morning, Michael. You're on Q100. Do you want to be on the Voice Disguiser?

[Caller 1]

Nah.

[Host]

Okay. So you and your wife have the same agreement?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, she's giving me a free one night stand card, but I gave it back to her because I cared too much about her. She said that if I used it, that I would not have to tell her about it. She just didn't want to know about it.

[Host]

And how long have you been married?

[Caller 1]

Two years. The fourth of next month.

[Host]

And she said anytime you want to have a one night stand. Does she want to know about it beforehand?

[Caller 1]

No, she don't want to know about her period.

[Host]

But you have the green light and it makes it less appealing.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I've given her the card back. I told her I don't want to do it.

[Co-host 1]

She physically made you a card?

[Caller 1]

No. I mean, just kind of like A get out of jail free card.

[Co-host 2]

Just how great would that be to go to a bar and just pull the card out and go, hey, my wife gave me this. My wife gave me this card. Think you're real pretty. So I'm wondering if we could have a one night stand on account I got this card right here from my wife.

[Co-host 1]

Could you stamp it, please?

[Co-host 2]

We don't even have to tell her. You just have to have a one night stand with me.

[Host]

I think it's really interesting that these guys have the green lights like every guy, right? Talk's a great game off. My wife would just let me have that deal. Well, what we're hearing is when you have the deal, you don't use it, right? Good morning, Matt, you're on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Hey.

[Host]

Hey.

[Caller 1]

Now, we did. I was in a relationship. It didn't last, but it was about a five year relationship and we had that deal, but it was her idea and she wasn't a very outgoing person, so I figured nothing really come of it, but she acted upon it a couple times and I never did. So now I'm kind of kicking myself because about two months after we broke up, she got engaged to one of the guys. And the circumstances about the breakup were kind of nasty, involving certain medical tests, so.

[Host]

Oh, geez. Yeah, I'm sort of glad we took this call because, I mean, based on the other ones, everything's fine. Nobody really takes you up on it.

[Co-host 2]

You know, it'd be fascinating would be to talk to people who have this in one direction in their relationship.

[Host]

So one person is allowed to screw around, the other one is allowed to.

[Co-host 2]

Say to the wife, you know what, if we get married, you can go do what you want to do, get it out of your system, but I'm gonna remain faithful to you.

[Host]

Oh, that sounds like a massive guilt trip right there. You go ahead, you do what you want, honey. If that's what you really want to do, you go ahead and do it. You don't really mean that, right? Hey, Craig, you're on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Hi, good morning. Bo Show.

[Host]

Good morning.

[Caller 1]

We have that type of arrangement, sort of. It's just on my end that I'm free to do it. I have to let her know beforehand. And she has a predetermined list of people of her friends that I'm allowed to go ahead with now.

[Co-host 2]

So wait a minute. Is it a situation where you go to her and you're like, hi, I would like to go with our friend Shelly. And she's like, oh, she's not on the list. But you think she's hot, you think you can get her and then it starts to be a fight, like you have to guess.

[Caller 1]

Well, no, I already know the list and I already know the people. And we've been married 11 years and this came about at a New Year's party, actually about eight years ago. And the list has grown since then, since we've had new friends and met new people and everything. And the list, it started out, I think at three and now it's up topic six.

[Co-host 2]

It's like a menu.

[Host]

Is she putting women on there that she knows you're not going to be attracted to?

[Caller 1]

No, no, no. Her friends a lot.

[Co-host 1]

Well, and how many times have you taken her up on it?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

His sister?

[Caller 1]

Only one.

[Co-host 1]

Only one time. But you have taken her up on it?

[Caller 1]

Yes, I have. And it was. And like I said, I think it's up to six now. Four of them are married and two are single.

[Co-host 1]

Which one did you have? The.

[Caller 1]

One of the single ones, actually. Her best friend.

[Host]

And are you glad you did it in the end?

[Caller 1]

No. At the time, yeah. But no, not now.

[Host]

So how does.

[Caller 1]

They're still friends and everything? Everything is just like normal.

[Host]

So how does this work? You go back to your wife and you're like, hey, I just want to let you know it's gonna happen between Jen and I tonight. And then on Friday night, you end up going out with Jen.

[Caller 1]

At that point, it was like a week advance. I told her like a week before it happened.

[Host]

That week would be hell in my house.

[Co-host 1]

How did she act towards you that week?

[Caller 1]

It was fine.

[Co-host 2]

And how is it when the three of you are around each other right now?

[Caller 1]

It's just like it was before.

[Host]

No kidding.

[Co-host 1]

Wow.

[Host]

That's a maturity.

[Caller 1]

I mean, they're still best friends. They've been best friends since like third grade. They're 32 now.

[Co-host 2]

So when you're hanging out with them, do you in your mind go, I've touched all those breasts?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, me and her and her best friend and her actual her fiance. Now we're actually going out Friday night.

[Co-host 1]

So now does your wife have the chance to be with her fiance?

[Caller 1]

Negative.

[Host]

No, she does not have a list.

[Caller 1]

It only works on my end. Really didn't come up with the idea. It was her idea. So.

[Co-host 2]

Lord have mercy.

[Co-host 1]

Doesn't seem real fast.

[Caller 1]

Cause I've got to have it all the time. And she's like, eh, her sex drive is not as strong as mine.

[Host]

I guess that's working for you guys.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Host]

Thank you for calling.

[Caller 1]

Thank you.

[Host]

Kelly was going to say, but her phone dropped out. That it makes Will want Jada more and shows Jada's confidence that she would give him this card, which is sort of what we found out in the beginning of those calls. Like, once you have the card, you don't necessarily take it.

[Co-host 1]

Well, this last guy did, though.

[Host]

Last guy sure did. But he said he regretted it.

[Co-host 1]

Like you said earlier, you just have to be careful about the offers that you make. Right?

[Host]

Be real careful.

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