Vault: Man Hires Stranger to Seduce His Wife in Shocking Divorce Plot

Summary

---

The Bert Show – Vault: Man Hires Stranger to Seduce His Wife in Shocking Divorce Plot

Date: April 8, 2026
Main Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, & The Bert Show Cast

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show crew dissects a jaw-dropping, real-life drama relayed by one of the hosts after an eventful night out. The main story centers around a man in a small town who, desperate to end his marriage without losing his reputation, concocts an outrageous plan: hiring a stranger to seduce his wife in hopes that her infidelity will make her the "bad guy" in their impending divorce. The episode delivers both humor and shock as the team debates the ethics and absurdity of such a scheme, weaving in their signature banter and insightful commentary.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Lake Bar Encounter

[02:00–04:00]

• Setup: One of the hosts recounts a solo night out at a local lake bar, mingling with locals who know him from radio and refer to him as "Radio."
• Atmosphere: It's a small-town spot where everyone vaguely knows everyone. Regulars are blue-collar types, adept at fixing boats and jet skis.
• Notable Moment: The story is set in a friendly, gossipy lakeside town where reputation matters.

2. The Man With the Divorce Plot

[04:18–06:02]

• The Husband: Married for two years, claims to love his wife but isn't "in love" and wants out.
  • Quote:

    “He loves her, he’s just not in love with her.” — Bert [04:30]

• The Dilemma: His wife’s family is influential and tightly knit; divorcing her outright would get him ostracized or "run out of town."
  • No children, compounding the familial ties as the main obstacle.
• Host Reaction:

  “He would never fix another jet ski ever again, right? Not in this town, not on this lake.” — Co-host [05:07]

3. The Seduction Scheme

[05:12–07:53]

• The Plan: Hoping to avoid responsibility, the husband wants to hire someone to have an affair with his wife so she'll be "at fault" for a split.
  • His logic: This reversal will preserve his reputation within the wife’s powerful social circle.
  • Quote:

    “Because then it’s her fault, and he wouldn’t be ostracized.” — Radio Host [05:29]

• Inspired by TV: He admits the idea came from a television show or movie and seems convinced it can work in real life.
• Questioning His Motives:

  “He’s too much of a coward to start the divorce. So he is setting her up.” — Bert [05:46]

• The Payoff: The husband plans to pay the "seducer" $125 per week—a wage he'd pull from a fake construction job—until a convincing affair blooms.
  • Quote:

    “However long it takes for there to be a full-fledged affair.” — Radio Host [07:37]

• Co-hosts Joke About Duration:

  “Oh, well, I’d drag that out. I would take three years.” — Co-host [07:42]

4. Recruitment & Community Gossip

[07:53–09:03]

• Seeking an Outsider: He asks the host if anyone in Atlanta might be up for the task, looking beyond local circles to avoid suspicion.
• Validation: His drunk friends confirm he’s genuinely pursuing this scheme.
  • Quote:

    “He’s serious, you know.” — Drunk buddy, paraphrased by the Radio Host [08:01]

• Ongoing Obsession: This isn't a fleeting drunken rant—the man has been vocal about his plan since first inspired, seeking advice and recruits.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Did he ask you to sleep with his wife? Did you do it? I mean, you were alone.” — Burt [07:01]
  (A running joke about how awkward and real the bar encounter became.)

• “If you just stop flushing the toilets… just start doing stuff that caused her to lose her mind…” — Radio Host [06:04]
  (Hosts riff on less extreme ways he might get his wife to initiate the breakup.)

• “It would be really, really cool if you stopped saying that.” — Radio Host [08:27]
  (Playful banter as the co-hosts tease each other's discomfort.)

• “I wonder if he woke up the next day thinking that was the dumbest idea ever or the best idea.” — Co-host [08:45]
  (Reflection on how wild and unhinged the plan sounds, even in hindsight.)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:00–04:00] — Setting the stage: The lake bar, small-town vibes, and colorful regulars.
• [04:18–06:02] — Introduction of the divorce dilemma and the husband’s backstory.
• [05:12–07:53] — Reveal of the seduction scheme, payments, and ethical debates.
• [07:53–09:03] — The man’s search for a conspirator and his persistent commitment to the plan.

---

Tone & Delivery

The episode blends real-life intrigue with the Bert Show’s signature humor and authenticity. The team reacts with incredulity and wit, poking fun at both the scheme and themselves while teasing out the deeper implications about relationships, character, and small-town drama.

---

Summary

This episode is a wild ride through the tangled web of love, reputation, and avoidance. The Bert Show hosts serve up their trademark blend of empathy, laughter, and honest conversation, making a truly bizarre story both hilarious and thought-provoking. If you missed the episode, this summary captures all the most jaw-dropping moments and spirited banter—without condoning any suspicious marriage-ending plots!

---

Transcript

[Burt]

Delete Me makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online. At a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everybody vulnerable, it is easier than ever to find personal information about people online. Having your address, your phone number, family members, names just hanging out there online, it's all pretty scary stuff, right? With Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy or or the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited. Look, I'm online all the time and it freaks me out that my info is out there. Take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me now at a special discount just for you guys. Get 20% off your delete me plan when you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Bert use the promo code Burt at checkout. That's join DeleteMe.com Bert enter the code Bert B R T at checkout okay,

[Hers Advertiser]

can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit forhers.comburt to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's f o r h e r s.combert forhers.combert with way less by hers is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s Get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions.

[Radio Host]

Visit borhearst.com the Bird show so I was hanging out on Saturday night and I went up to the lake alone because Jessica was doing a girls weekend. So I was by myself and I went to a bar by myself. It's okay though. And there was a

[Burt]

Were you the guy at the end of the bar.

[Co-host]

Depends on what bar you're going to. By yourself.

[Radio Host]

Yeah, no, it was. Yeah, well, you guys have been there. It's just a little bar on the lake, you know, so whatever.

[Co-host]

I like that one.

[Radio Host]

But it's, it's a very, you know, it's the small town neighborhood vibe of the whole thing. So while you don't really have friends, like kind of everybody's familiar, you know what I mean? Like, it's like a small town bar, you know, you know, everybody, whatever. So there's like these regulars who. I couldn't even tell you their name, but they're definitely like fixtures at the place. Yes. They're all probably like 30, 35 years old. I think they, you know, kind of fix boats and jet skis on the side type of deal. The kind of guy you can go up and give like 60 bucks to and go, hey, man, engine sounding weird, you know, can you. Whatever. And they'll tear the whole thing apart and give it back and go, hey, not only did we get it fixed, but we've revved it up. You can now go 170 on your jet ski. And if you push this button, it'll shoot flames. In fact, that's the greatest. You know what I mean? Those type of guys, right? So go dogs. Yeah. So they're all hanging out and they know I work in radio down here, so they call me Radio for. Either because of the Radio thing or because of Cuba Goody Jr. And they movie.

[Co-host]

Yeah, you gotta remind me of that too.

[Radio Host]

So the guy says, hey, Radio. Yeah.

[Co-host]

Oh, that's funny. Did you push her on a shopping cart around?

[Radio Host]

So we're hanging, I'm hanging out there and I'm talking to a couple people I do know and I somehow end up in a conversation with one of these guys and he tells me a story that I fully think he was joking and like not serious, but found out by the end of it, which was only like a 15, 20 minute conversation. By the end of the conversation, there's no doubt in my mind that he was completely serious. He has thought this out and he wants to execute this plan.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Radio Host]

Got married about two years ago, sick of his wife, but he loves her. Just doesn't want to be married to her anymore. He's just not into it. Right?

[Burt]

He loves her, he's just not in love with her.

[Radio Host]

Yeah, whatever. So he's like, you know, he spends over amount of time prefacing the story with. I gotta understand. I've known her since I was 21. And he tells the whole story about how they ended up married. Right? But he wants to end it. But the problem is her family. And she has a very big family and a lot of influence and a lot of people. Now he would be completely ostracized, run out of town.

[Co-host]

Do they have children?

[Radio Host]

Shit, no kids, I don't think. But he would be completely run out of town should he file for divorce.

[Co-host]

He would never fix another jet Ski ever again, right? Not in this town, not on this lake.

[Radio Host]

That would be the end of it. So here is his plan, okay? And he is actively. Well, the drunk him was actively putting this plan into motion, okay? He would like to hire someone to have an affair with his wife.

[Co-host]

What?

[Burt]

For what reason?

[Radio Host]

Because then it's her fault and he wouldn't be ostracized.

[Co-host]

So she would.

[Radio Host]

No, she'd be okay. I asked him that.

[Burt]

This is.

[Radio Host]

She'd be okay because she has an influential family who already doesn't care for him. So they would understand and they would almost feel bad for him.

[Burt]

This is the equivalent of when you're dating and you make it so difficult for the woman that you're going out with to be around you that she ends up breaking up with you because you're too. He's too much of a coward to start the divorce. So he is setting her up.

[Co-host]

He's trying to be the brag. He's trying to save his reputation.

[Radio Host]

Yes, I asked him that. I said, well, aren't you. Just tell me. You're just looking for the easy way out. Why don't you just start being a pain, like around the house. Whatever drives her nuts, you know, like whatever it is, if you just stop flushing the toilets. Just start doing stuff that caused her to lose her mind and she's like that. You don't understand. And then he would over explain the family situation where she has such a big network of friends and family and all this stuff.

[Co-host]

So like, that was so exciting too. When he married into it, he was like, God, this is the greatest ever set for life. Jackpot.

[Radio Host]

Her family's wealthy and influential and she knows everyone.

[Burt]

And it was only two years ago.

[Radio Host]

Two years later.

[Burt]

So it went from there to this.

[Co-host]

This is horrib.

[Radio Host]

So apparently sometime in the last few months he has seen a television show or a movie or something like this with some similar plotline and is convinced he could do it. He is.

[Co-host]

Does he want you to do it? Radio?

[Radio Host]

No.

[Burt]

Did he ask you to sleep with his wife? Did you do it? I mean, you Were alone.

[Radio Host]

Well, I asked him enough questions. Cause I thought it was like, I thought he wasn't serious about it. But he has. As soon as he found someone who's willing to do it, he's got a part time job lined up. It's a construction gig. The guy will pay him 125 a week to work like two nights to move sand. Literally. And he will give that 125 bucks a week to pay for the guy to go like take his wife out.

[Burt]

How much is he charging for that

[Radio Host]

to do all the stuff? 125. That's how much you get paid.

[Burt]

You said a week.

[Radio Host]

Yeah. So however long it takes for there to be a full fledged affair.

[Burt]

So this whoever.

[Co-host]

Oh well, it did drag that out.

[Radio Host]

I would take three years.

[Burt]

Yes.

[Co-host]

I get bank on this, dude. She's a little tough to crack. So it's gonna take me a little longer.

[Burt]

So for one 25 bucks a week,

[Radio Host]

he's already got the job lined up to do it. And his buddies over there, like, you know, they're all talking except for one of them who's the most drunk, every now and again would lean in and go, he's serious, you know.

[Co-host]

Damn.

[Burt]

Really?

[Radio Host]

Uh huh.

[Co-host]

So he had he approached the guy yet?

[Radio Host]

He doesn't know. That's what, that's why he started talking to me.

[Co-host]

Asked if I doesn't know.

[Radio Host]

He asked if I knew anyone in Atlanta who might be interested in the cake.

[Burt]

I think maybe he was recruiting you

[Radio Host]

because they live in.

[Co-host]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Burt]

I think maybe the same way I did this morning when the sun was beating your face that way and he sees an angel, he.

[Co-host]

It's freaking me out.

[Radio Host]

You know, it'd be rough to stop. It would be really, really cool if you stopped saying that.

[Burt]

I don't want to hide the way I feel. Go on though.

[Radio Host]

So save that. So yeah. So he was asking how uncomfortable Jeff's got just trying to tell a story about the redneck.

[Co-host]

I think that's fascina. And I wonder if he woke up the next day thinking that was the dumbest idea ever or the best idea.

[Burt]

Probably thinking a radio guy in Atlanta's net is way wide.

[Radio Host]

Yeah. And while he's not.

[Co-host]

And your people wouldn't know the. The people that you know in the small town. So he needed an outside recruit.

[Radio Host]

Yeah. And I don't think he is. I don't think he's waking up the next day. Because if you go by what his friend said, like he's been talking about this. Ever since he saw the TV show or movie or whatever it was that had it in it, he's like, oh my God, like call his buddies and everything. And then the next thing they came down. They live like in Asheville, North Carolina or something like that. Next time they drove down on their on their jet ski trailer. Fixing trip to make some cash money.

[Co-host]

The Burt show with Verbo care help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Hers Advertiser]

Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget.

[Co-host]

You can really have it delivered or pick it up. I think kid is walking up the slide.

[Burt]

Really?

[Co-host]

Autotrader, Buy your car online? Really.