The Bert Show: “Vault: Melissa Got Into It With A Naked Man?!”

Original Air Date: February 17, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around a hilarious and relatable story from frequent guest Melanie, who recounts the chaotic aftermath of a concert outing with her siblings and friends. What started as a magical night seeing Cheap Trick, Heart, and Journey quickly devolved into an unforgettable parking debacle involving a blocked car, frustrated concert-goers, and a surprise encounter with a towel-clad (and nearly naked) homeowner. The conversation highlights the ups and downs of live event logistics, unspoken rules regarding ‘yard parking,’ and the unpredictable hazards of trusting makeshift event parking lots. With the trademark Bert Show humor and authenticity, the hosts dissect every awkward, irritating, and laugh-out-loud moment of Melanie’s evening.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Concert Fun and Family Bonding

• Melanie recounts her outing to Chastain Park for a triple-bill concert (Cheap Trick, Heart, and Journey) with her siblings and friend Katie.
• [01:27] Melanie: “It was one of those concerts where all the music was gonna cover all of us … so it was kind of sweet. So all of us decided to go, and Katie went with us.”
• Notable passing mention of Journey’s new lead singer, who was discovered via a YouTube video and previously performed in a cover band, impressing the audience with vocals “just like Steve Perry.”
  • [01:48] Melanie: “… he was in a cover band for Journey … he sounds just like Steve Perry. … If you close your eyes, you would not be able to tell the difference.”

2. The Legendary Chastain Parking Nightmare

• Melanie and crew face the all-too-familiar struggle of concert parking at Chastain, with lots closed and no street parking available.
• After several unsuccessful loops, they find a homemade “Parking $15” sign run by a kid and his father, offering yard space nearby.
  • [04:05] Co-host 1 (teasing): “You strike me as the type … that you will avoid paying for parking at all costs.”
  • Melanie asserts she was willing to pay; the real issue was simple lack of spaces.

3. The Blocked-In Dilemma

• After leaving the concert a bit early (“to beat the crowd and get to bed at a decent time”), they arrive to find their car double-blocked by two other vehicles in the lawn.
  • [06:00] Podcast Host: “So you couldn’t get out.”
  • Discussion emerges: Is it a known rule of “yard parking” to be blocked in until the event ends?
    • [06:48] Co-host 1: “Absolutely not. It’s just like going to Turner Field … If you’re yard parking, you’re blocked in until the end … It’s a given, everybody.”
    • Melanie and some others are genuinely surprised, having never experienced this before.

4. The Towel-Wrapped Showdown

• Frustrated, Melanie’s sister volunteers to confront the homeowner. She knocks repeatedly; the homeowner eventually answers—wearing only a towel.
• [07:32] Melanie: “… he came to the door in a towel … and so then he said no [they weren’t his cars] … and then almost like Jeff, it was the … ‘Well, you gotta be kidding me. I mean, it’s an understood unspoken rule.’”
• Melanie resumes the dispute, demanding an explanation and a partial refund since they can’t access their car.
  • [08:05] Melanie: “Are you serious that you parked the cars here to all be blocked, so I have to sit here to all the car? … That’s not my fault.”
• As the argument escalates, the towel almost drops, introducing an element of awkward hilarity.
  • [08:29] Podcast Host: “And his towel started dropping off. So that’s when he became the naked man.”
  • [08:45] Melanie: “It did not slip the whole way off. Thank goodness … I was just going to stand here and get a whole new show if he’s gonna … I’m gonna get my money’s worth here.”

5. The Night Ends in Taxi Defeat

• Realizing there’s no hope of extracting their vehicle—or a partial refund—the group leaves, calls a cab, and Melanie’s siblings later return for the car.
  • [09:03] Podcast Host: “What a pain.”
  • [09:04] Melanie: “Cause we didn’t know how long we were gonna sit there.”

6. Lessons Learned: Don’t Trust Yard Parking!

• The group collectively agrees:
  • Never “yard park” at concerts or games, especially when unauthorized entrepreneurial families are running the lot.
  • Always try to be the car nearest the street if you have no other choice.
  • Sometimes, it makes more sense to just take a cab (and bring an extra bottle of wine for patience).
• [09:48] Melanie: “Always gonna never even try to park around Chastain anymore.”
• [09:26] Co-host 2: “Maybe we learn it’s a new rule … Don’t yard park at all.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melanie describing the Journey lead singer:
  “He sounds just like Steve Perry … If you close your eyes, you would not be able to tell the difference.”
  [01:48]

• The parking reality check:
  “Absolutely not. It’s just like going to Turner Field … If you’re yard parking, you’re blocked in until the end.” — Co-host 1 [06:48]

• On confronting the towel-clad man:
  “… he came to the door in a towel … and then almost like Jeff, it was the … ‘Well, you gotta be kidding me.’” — Melanie [07:32]

• The towel almost dropping:
  “His towel started dropping off. So that’s when he became the naked man.” — Podcast Host [08:29]

• Melanie’s attempts to salvage something:
  “I was just going to stand here and get a whole new show if he’s gonna … I’m gonna get my money’s worth here.” — Melanie [08:45]

• The big lesson:
  “Don’t yard park at all.” — Co-host 2 [09:26] “Always gonna never even try to park around Chastain anymore.” — Melanie [09:48]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:27–03:04] — Melanie recounts the concert experience
• [03:08–04:48] — The parking odyssey at Chastain
• [05:59–06:58] — Realization of being blocked in, debate over yard parking norms
• [07:05–08:45] — The confrontation with the homeowner and the infamous towel incident
• [09:03–09:52] — Calling the cab, reflecting on the ordeal, and issuing public service warnings

Flow and Tone

• The tone is authentic, lighthearted, conversational, and gently self-deprecating. The hosts and Melanie inject warmth and humor into a frustrating real-life situation, sharing knowing laughter over shared concert-going hassles.

Listener Takeaway

If you’re headed to a show at Chastain (or any big event), heed Melanie and the Bert Show’s hard-earned lesson: Avoid unofficial yard parking, or at least prepare to be blocked in—and maybe even get more (or less) of a show than you bargained for!