Vault: Melissa Got Into It With A Naked Man?!

Summary

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The Bert Show: “Vault: Melissa Got Into It With A Naked Man?!”

Original Air Date: February 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode revolves around a hilarious and relatable story from frequent guest Melanie, who recounts the chaotic aftermath of a concert outing with her siblings and friends. What started as a magical night seeing Cheap Trick, Heart, and Journey quickly devolved into an unforgettable parking debacle involving a blocked car, frustrated concert-goers, and a surprise encounter with a towel-clad (and nearly naked) homeowner. The conversation highlights the ups and downs of live event logistics, unspoken rules regarding ‘yard parking,’ and the unpredictable hazards of trusting makeshift event parking lots. With the trademark Bert Show humor and authenticity, the hosts dissect every awkward, irritating, and laugh-out-loud moment of Melanie’s evening.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Concert Fun and Family Bonding

• Melanie recounts her outing to Chastain Park for a triple-bill concert (Cheap Trick, Heart, and Journey) with her siblings and friend Katie.
• [01:27] Melanie: “It was one of those concerts where all the music was gonna cover all of us … so it was kind of sweet. So all of us decided to go, and Katie went with us.”
• Notable passing mention of Journey’s new lead singer, who was discovered via a YouTube video and previously performed in a cover band, impressing the audience with vocals “just like Steve Perry.”
  • [01:48] Melanie: “… he was in a cover band for Journey … he sounds just like Steve Perry. … If you close your eyes, you would not be able to tell the difference.”

2. The Legendary Chastain Parking Nightmare

• Melanie and crew face the all-too-familiar struggle of concert parking at Chastain, with lots closed and no street parking available.
• After several unsuccessful loops, they find a homemade “Parking $15” sign run by a kid and his father, offering yard space nearby.
  • [04:05] Co-host 1 (teasing): “You strike me as the type … that you will avoid paying for parking at all costs.”
  • Melanie asserts she was willing to pay; the real issue was simple lack of spaces.

3. The Blocked-In Dilemma

• After leaving the concert a bit early (“to beat the crowd and get to bed at a decent time”), they arrive to find their car double-blocked by two other vehicles in the lawn.
  • [06:00] Podcast Host: “So you couldn’t get out.”
  • Discussion emerges: Is it a known rule of “yard parking” to be blocked in until the event ends?
    • [06:48] Co-host 1: “Absolutely not. It’s just like going to Turner Field … If you’re yard parking, you’re blocked in until the end … It’s a given, everybody.”
    • Melanie and some others are genuinely surprised, having never experienced this before.

4. The Towel-Wrapped Showdown

• Frustrated, Melanie’s sister volunteers to confront the homeowner. She knocks repeatedly; the homeowner eventually answers—wearing only a towel.
• [07:32] Melanie: “… he came to the door in a towel … and so then he said no [they weren’t his cars] … and then almost like Jeff, it was the … ‘Well, you gotta be kidding me. I mean, it’s an understood unspoken rule.’”
• Melanie resumes the dispute, demanding an explanation and a partial refund since they can’t access their car.
  • [08:05] Melanie: “Are you serious that you parked the cars here to all be blocked, so I have to sit here to all the car? … That’s not my fault.”
• As the argument escalates, the towel almost drops, introducing an element of awkward hilarity.
  • [08:29] Podcast Host: “And his towel started dropping off. So that’s when he became the naked man.”
  • [08:45] Melanie: “It did not slip the whole way off. Thank goodness … I was just going to stand here and get a whole new show if he’s gonna … I’m gonna get my money’s worth here.”

5. The Night Ends in Taxi Defeat

• Realizing there’s no hope of extracting their vehicle—or a partial refund—the group leaves, calls a cab, and Melanie’s siblings later return for the car.
  • [09:03] Podcast Host: “What a pain.”
  • [09:04] Melanie: “Cause we didn’t know how long we were gonna sit there.”

6. Lessons Learned: Don’t Trust Yard Parking!

• The group collectively agrees:
  • Never “yard park” at concerts or games, especially when unauthorized entrepreneurial families are running the lot.
  • Always try to be the car nearest the street if you have no other choice.
  • Sometimes, it makes more sense to just take a cab (and bring an extra bottle of wine for patience).
• [09:48] Melanie: “Always gonna never even try to park around Chastain anymore.”
• [09:26] Co-host 2: “Maybe we learn it’s a new rule … Don’t yard park at all.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melanie describing the Journey lead singer:
  “He sounds just like Steve Perry … If you close your eyes, you would not be able to tell the difference.”
  [01:48]

• The parking reality check:
  “Absolutely not. It’s just like going to Turner Field … If you’re yard parking, you’re blocked in until the end.” — Co-host 1 [06:48]

• On confronting the towel-clad man:
  “… he came to the door in a towel … and then almost like Jeff, it was the … ‘Well, you gotta be kidding me.’” — Melanie [07:32]

• The towel almost dropping:
  “His towel started dropping off. So that’s when he became the naked man.” — Podcast Host [08:29]

• Melanie’s attempts to salvage something:
  “I was just going to stand here and get a whole new show if he’s gonna … I’m gonna get my money’s worth here.” — Melanie [08:45]

• The big lesson:
  “Don’t yard park at all.” — Co-host 2 [09:26] “Always gonna never even try to park around Chastain anymore.” — Melanie [09:48]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:27–03:04] — Melanie recounts the concert experience
• [03:08–04:48] — The parking odyssey at Chastain
• [05:59–06:58] — Realization of being blocked in, debate over yard parking norms
• [07:05–08:45] — The confrontation with the homeowner and the infamous towel incident
• [09:03–09:52] — Calling the cab, reflecting on the ordeal, and issuing public service warnings

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Flow and Tone

• The tone is authentic, lighthearted, conversational, and gently self-deprecating. The hosts and Melanie inject warmth and humor into a frustrating real-life situation, sharing knowing laughter over shared concert-going hassles.

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Listener Takeaway

If you’re headed to a show at Chastain (or any big event), heed Melanie and the Bert Show’s hard-earned lesson: Avoid unofficial yard parking, or at least prepare to be blocked in—and maybe even get more (or less) of a show than you bargained for!

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Transcript

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[Podcast Host]

The Birch Show.

[Melanie]

So I told you guys that Sunday night I went to Chastain and went to see Cheap Trick, Heart and Journey, which was a fantastic concert. And my brother and sister did I.

[Podcast Host]

Just for just one second, pause.

[Melanie]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Little sidebar.

[Melanie]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Did you tell us yesterday, I think I let this go, that the new lead singer for Journey is a little Philippine guy.

[Ad Host 1]

Yeah.

[Will (IQ Bar Founder)]

Okay.

[Melanie]

Yeah, he is fantastic. And I mean, talk about a dream come true. He was the lead singer of a Journey cover band. And now I say young. I thought he was young. I think we looked him up later and he may be 40, so he may be, you know, an older guy, but he certainly doesn't look it. He looked like some 20 something, you know, kid out of college that was so excited to be there. But he was in a cover band for Journey and when they were looking for a new lead singer, I guess somebody had tipped him off to this YouTube video of his band and they auditioned. I mean, he sounds just like Steve Perry. I mean, you know, he would. Yeah. If you close your eyes, you would not be able to tell the difference. No offense to Steve Perry. But he. This guy was really good.

[Podcast Host]

So anyway, Wendy, do you know this song?

[Melanie]

I do.

[Will (IQ Bar Founder)]

You do?

[Ad Host 1]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

You feel like grabbing intern Ben and slow dancing?

[Co-host 1]

Just rocking back and forth, hands on hips, hands on shoulders.

[Ad Host 1]

Yeah, just like a crying song. Me like a shoulder.

[Melanie]

And you could see the generation gap at Chastain part because there were. Some people had their cell phones up during the song, and then others had the lighters. Old school. Old school. The old met, you know? So we went to the show. So my brother and sister are older than me. So it was one of those concerts where all the music was gonna cover all of us, where we. You know, I was little listening to this music with them, so it was kind of sweet. So all of us decided to go, and Katie went with us.

[Co-host 2]

With all your M's?

[Melanie]

All the M's. Melanie, Mike, and Melissa and Katie. And we.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know why. That cracks me up. It just does.

[Melanie]

Well, if you're a parent, don't ever do it, okay? Don't ever do it. Because my name is Melanie, Mike. Melissa. Because that's what mom always would go down the line. So they drove from Nashville, and so we went to the concert. So, you know, and it was. You think it's a novelty? And I thought, yeah, I'm at the age where I'm going to reunion shows, but okay, I don't care. This is gonna be fun. And so we go to Chastain, but. And I love going to Chastain shows. There's always an issue with parking sometimes at Chastain, and you know that you're gonna park along the street, in the park or whatever, and walk. We rounded our normal course around Chastain twice and could not find a parking space. It was. I have never seen it this packed. And so I told Katie, who was driving, I said, well, you're. We're gonna have to drop Melanie Mike off. Let them at least get to their seats and just, you know, be good hosts and then we'll. Cause we didn't realize it's gonna take this long to park. We didn't mind walking. It was just we could not find a space, and so we.

[Co-host 1]

You strike me as a type, and I'm not passing judgment. I'm just saying you strike me as.

[Melanie]

Already giving me a hard time.

[Co-host 1]

I'm not giving you a hard time, but I know you're gonna think that. That you will avoid paying for parking at all costs.

[Melanie]

That's not true. A lot of the lots were closed. There was no parking to be. Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

That's the worst part about going to Chastain, because the whole concert experience is awesome, but the parking experience there is horrible.

[Melanie]

Every time I've ever been, I am happy to pay to park. I just. I just. There was no parking lots open. So we were asking security guards, do you have any, you know, I think a ball field. One of the ball fields they were trying to open up. So we finally got to the point where the security guard said, you know, you're gonna have to go down here and take a right, whatever. And I think there's a place up in there that you can get to. So we're fine. So we're headed that way. We turned down this one street we hadn't been down, and then we see this little kid who had this big poster. It said, parking 15 bucks. And so we thought, well, he's cute. So Katie, you know, stopped and pulled in and said, hey, you know, what's going on? And he said, well, a guy had decided to open up his front yard to be a parking lot that's nearer than this place. What they said. So we looked at each other and we made the decision because there was the kid and the dad was up there with his two sons and everybody was part. You know, there were other people pulling in. So we decided that we would park there. Okay. So we paid the $15 to the little kid and we're parking around the perimeter of his lot and everything was fine. We get out of the car, we get to the concert. We get there before, you know, we were running late, so we got. Didn't get there till Cheap Trick was over. So we. I'm glad that we let Melanie might go in there and watch them watching Hart fast, you know, great show. We're watching Journey. Great show. But then with this schedule for, you know, we. We get on Air at 5:30. So there's always the. Well, let's leave a couple songs early to beat the crowd to get to the car to get home, so that way I can get to bed at a decent time. So everybody agreed. So we left probably about two songs before the show was over. We thought we were smart. We got out of the gate, we got down the street, we're walking. And as we walk in the guy's parking lot, sure enough, there were two cars behind mine that blocked me from leaving his driveway.

[Podcast Host]

So you couldn't get out.

[Co-host 1]

That always sucks.

[Melanie]

He had parked all the cars in the. In his driveway and front lawn to where everybody but the back two were blocked. Everybody was blocked. So I Got frustrated because, you know, if you have to, you know, that's when the backward count came where it was already running late.

[Co-host 2]

It was probably 11 o'.

[Melanie]

Clock. And I'm thinking, we're.

[Podcast Host]

You've already done everything you have to do that's responsible.

[Melanie]

So, you know, just wanted to ask the question. Just wanted to ask the question why he parked. Because I thought, well, you can just leave us all out here junked up and then not be out here to answer. So, of course I wanted to knock on the door.

[Will (IQ Bar Founder)]

Okay?

[Podcast Host]

So I think that's legit.

[Co-host 1]

No, it's not. Absolutely. Absolutely no way.

[Podcast Host]

No, no. If you're gonna park in this guy's yard, then he should at least give all cars access to get out of there when they want.

[Co-host 1]

Absolutely not. It's just like going to Turner Field, you know? You know that if you're yard parking, you're blocked in until the end of the event. It's a given, everybody.

[Melanie]

See, I didn't think it was a given. I didn't. I've parked in yards at Turner Field before at Georgia Dome, and I've never been blocked in before, so I didn't.

[Co-host 2]

Realize that was an unspoken rule.

[Melanie]

I didn't either. Well, it's funny that Jeff must be related to this dude. So my sister decided, let me let. So she goes and she knocks on the door, and then knocks on the door, and then knocks on the door.

[Podcast Host]

Now, at this point, you know that he hasn't collected keys from everybody. So this is really the fu. Knock. This really.

[Co-host 2]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

This isn't the hey, can you help me out? Knock.

[Melanie]

No. And that's why my sister knocked on the door. Because if I had knocked on the door, it would have been a lot louder because I just want. Yeah, I was just. I didn't like it.

[Podcast Host]

Time to vent.

[Melanie]

Yeah. And so she knocked on the door, and he came to the door in a towel. And so she's like, oh, well, hi. And then she, you know, asks why. Why? You know, just wanted to let you know. I mean, let me just make sure that these cars aren't yours that are behind ours. Just. That's how she positioned it. Melanie just like to say, are these your cars? Because if, you know, if they are, then we can get out or whatever. And so I'm just standing there. And so then he said no. And then almost like Jeff, it was the. Well, you gotta be kidding me. Because, I mean, it's an understood unspoken rule.

[Co-host 2]

I didn't know that.

[Podcast Host]

I couldn't agree with that.

[Melanie]

So I was speaking over my sister to him and back and forth on the. You gotta be kidding me. Are you serious that you parked the cars here to all be blocked, so I have to sit here to all the car? Well, you. Most people stayed during the end of the show. I don't know. You know, you left the concert early. That's your fault. That's not my fault. And so we went back and forth, and Melanie said that his towel slowly started falling because he was caught off guard.

[Podcast Host]

And he's pointing and stuff to you.

[Melanie]

And he and I got in a verbal altercation, and I'm asking for part of my money back because I'm like, well, do I have to pay the full 15? And so. And his towel started dropping off. So that's when he became the naked man. And Melanie's like, let's go. All right, that's fine. Let's go.

[Podcast Host]

Slipped all off.

[Melanie]

It did not slip the whole way off. Thank goodness. Because Manny thought, well, I'll just stand here and get a whole new show if he's gonna. You know, I'm gonna get my money's worth here. So we ended up having to call a cab and then to take me back. And then my brother, sister, and girlfriend came back to get my car so I could get to bed.

[Podcast Host]

What a pain.

[Melanie]

Cause we didn't know how long we were gonna sit there.

[Co-host 1]

I love the fact that you asked for a refund.

[Melanie]

So if you're on Dudley. If you're on Dudley street, it's Dudley Avenue or Dudley street around Chastain. And you happen to see kids that are for you to park there, you better be staying until long after the show, because you're never gonna get your car out of there.

[Co-host 2]

Or maybe at a Braves game or anywhere. Maybe we learn it's a new rule. Cause I said you knew that.

[Melanie]

I'm here to warn you. Don't yard park. Don't yard park at all.

[Podcast Host]

And let me position your car as the one that can get out first, like, right by the street, so nobody can park in front of you or whatever.

[Melanie]

We tried to do that, and he wouldn't let us do that.

[Co-host 1]

So any of those gypsy lots, if it's an unauthorized thing, they just want your money, and they're gonna pack you in there and you stay until the end.

[Melanie]

Well, I think we decided that we're always gonna take cabs to chest a show.

[Co-host 2]

Smart.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Melanie]

Always gonna never even try to park around Chastain anymore.

[Co-host 2]

But bring an extra bottle of wine.

[Podcast Host]

Gives you another excuse. The birch show.

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